Working mom with two young kids....

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Mommamaddy
Mommamaddy Posts: 26 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need some help trying to fit exercise into my busy life. I am a 35 year old working mom with two small kids ages 6 and 2. I have a hard time to make time for myself. I am away from the kids all day I feel guilty leaving them at night to exercise.

What do other mothers do?

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  • jstauffer75
    jstauffer75 Posts: 1 Member
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    It kind of depends on the age of your kids. I'm a single working mom of 2, so I know what you mean. Here's things that worked at different points for me:

    When they're very small, walks with them in the double stroller or short workout videos when they were asleep.

    Workout on your lunch break. Could be a walk, run, or gym trip depending on your situation.

    When they're old enough and the weather is decent, I used to run laps around they playground while they played.

    When they're old enough, run with them bike riding along with you.

    For a while I took them to the YMCA with me and they had a really fun play area for kids that they liked from about age 7-10. They liked it more than I did, so no guilt.
  • skellymama1
    skellymama1 Posts: 83 Member
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    What time do they go to bed at?
    Can you fit in a quick 20/30 min exercise then?
    Hot shower, fall into bed!!
  • Mommamaddy
    Mommamaddy Posts: 26 Member
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    I am going to have to maybe start getting up before them. leave them in bed in the morning while I go for a jog.
    I teach high school all day so night time I am burnt.

    maybe the early start to the day may work for me!
  • skinnymam
    skinnymam Posts: 21 Member
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    Well if you are a morning person it may work better for you, there are lots of quick 20 min work outs on you tube. A hot shower and you are ready to start the day lol!
    Also out walking, running around the park etc with the kiddies, anything that gets you moving is good.
    Good luck.
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
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    Mommamaddy wrote: »
    I need some help trying to fit exercise into my busy life. I am a 35 year old working mom with two small kids ages 6 and 2. I have a hard time to make time for myself. I am away from the kids all day I feel guilty leaving them at night to exercise.

    What do other mothers do?

    kids and a job are irrelevant what you're really saying is your poor at time management. If I said "HELP- I work full time, go to university and go to the gym, I need to spend time with my kids and IDK what to do" everyone would call me an idiot because we make time for the things that matter.

    The gym is loading with moms in the morning, from like 5-7AM it's all moms! and teachers... lots of teachers (who are also moms) just sleep less and go to the gym or sleep the same amount and watch less TV and go to bed earlier? or workout on your lunch? IDK seems to be tons of options to me.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,871 Member
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    Mommamaddy wrote: »
    I need some help trying to fit exercise into my busy life. I am a 35 year old working mom with two small kids ages 6 and 2. I have a hard time to make time for myself. I am away from the kids all day I feel guilty leaving them at night to exercise.

    What do other mothers do?

    Not a mother, but I am a father of a 4 and 6 y.o. First and foremost, my wife and I "swap" time...I'm on KP and kid duty on Monday and Wednesday nights...I still get in some exercise, but it's pretty much a quick 20 minute interval session on the bike trainer because the rest of the night is taken up by getting us dinner, kids bathed, etc. I have also started going to a rec center gym by my office at lunch on Mondays during lunch.

    Tuesdays and Thursdays, we swap...I get home from a work and do an hour session on the trainer on Tuesday and go to my normal gym on Thursday evening to lift. If I can, I also go to the rec center during lunch to walk on the treadmill, but these days I'm having to work through a lot of lunches due to some crazy *kitten* going down here at work.

    Friday my wife works with a trainer in the weight room at our gym, but she gets off work at 3:30...so she's still home by 5. I pick up the kids from school and whatnot...I usually do a 45 minute interval workout on the trainer before beer time.

    Saturday I usually go to the gym for an hour and ride my bike to and from which makes for a nice warm-up and cool down as it's only about 10 miles round trip...when I get home she goes for a run.

    Sunday is usually my longer ride...outside if it's nice on the trainer if it's not...if I'm inside I just throw on the game and watch a few hours of football while I spin.

    Things change seasonally...in the summer I'm up early and out on my bike...

    You shouldn't really feel guilty for taking time to yourself and for your health...after all, it's kind of important that you're healthy going forward so that you can be there for them for a long time. And it's not like you have to spend hours on end...30-60 minutes is sufficient for a solid workout.
  • Skyblueyellow
    Skyblueyellow Posts: 225 Member
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    I'm an educator and also a mom of two boys (aged 6 and 7). I either work out once they are in bed (around 8:30) or I have to get up early in the morning. I personally found that working out in the evening was impeding my sleep (I had too much energy and couldn't quiet my body) so now I get up about 80 minutes earlier and head to the gym, then head home to shower/gets kiddos ready/get to work. It does mean I get to bed earlier than before so that I can actually pry myself out of bed earlier!

    But really, this is the only thing that works for me. I hope you find something that will work for you!
  • Faulkners407
    Faulkners407 Posts: 62 Member
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    Hi! Mom of 3! 8, 5, and 2! I'm just starting to give myself the time to workout, and food plan (its so hard). something that has been working for me, is an accountability walking partner at 0500. Husband is in bed still, kids are asleep. We walk for 40 ish minutes (2 miles). Bonus is she's my best friend, and I don't get to see her often even though she lives down the street. Do you have a friend, that may be having same struggle, that could go with you? safety in pairs, and if you bundle up its not too bad (was 26 degrees F here this am). And you get to the point that you actually look forward to it. I am adding you here as a MFP friend--I need more people to help me stay motivated! and the benefit of (starting) this is that its free and less intimidating than a gym membership you may or may not actually use. Also give yourself some grace when it comes to some of the other stuff you're hustling around the house to complete in your day. Its important for you to fit it in, and lead a good example to your children.
  • Skyblueyellow
    Skyblueyellow Posts: 225 Member
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    I don't understand this lunch break thing. Lunch break? What's that? I can't remember the last time I got lunch!!!
  • Faulkners407
    Faulkners407 Posts: 62 Member
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    Skyblueyellow wrote: »
    I don't understand this lunch break thing. Lunch break? What's that? I can't remember the last time I got lunch!!!

    This. many people don't understand a teacher's schedule! and at the end of the day I get it, wiped out! if I don't go in the morning, I don't make it at all.
  • Mommamaddy
    Mommamaddy Posts: 26 Member
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    Thanks for all who helped out and understood the struggle.
  • French_Peasant
    French_Peasant Posts: 1,639 Member
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    Do you have any particular goals in mind, or are you just looking to increase your fitness (which is kind of a vague concept...the more specific you can be about your goals, and what you can and can't do/afford/whatnot, the more helpful folks here can be, but as a teacher you know that sometimes it helps to kick ideas around before you know what your goals are!). It is also helpful to know what kind of fitness background you have from pre-child days; you mention running; were you on the track team in the past, or are you mention running in the way that I would mention running before I actually got off my butt and started running for realz?

    I work long days, and my kids are 7 and 10--I understand completely how you feel about not wanting to leave them. Nowadays I try to get my major workout at the gym over lunch, but there are a lot of times when my day is just too busy and I am working out at 9 or 10 at night. If I were in your shoes, here is what I would do (and note: I was not ready to do these things till last year, as children can be overwhelming).

    First, I would take a look at the exercise you are already getting. When I taught at the college level, I was constantly pacing back and forth, gesturing, and criss-crossing campus multiple times a day, so had a good amount of activity built in already. Do you have a fitbit or any other device that can help you benchmark what you are doing? (There is likely a good reason why you are beat at the end of the day.)

    As you note, if you have the motivation to get up in the morning soooo early, it would be a great time to fit in cardio, and others have made some great suggestions for fitting in activity. If you are already getting 10,000ish or more steps in a day, you might want to focus on shorter, more intense cardio, but benchmarking your current cardio will help you know where you need to diversify (ie, you might want to do jump rope or jumping jacks rather than adding more walking on top of walking).

    One of the all-time best things I have started doing is, when I am "stuck" at the playground, rather than sitting on my butt, I let my 7 year old son run his mommy through "Playground Boot Camp," where he makes me run an obstacle course through all the play equipment, while throwing in sets of squats, pushups, jumping jacks, etc. (yeah, I hit my head a lot at first trying to crawl through little people tunnels). He utterly delights in doing this, and is so excited that mommy is joining him in playing. If you are logging, log it under "circuit training," which is basically what it is. Just galloping them on your back would be an excellent workout! We also try to do lots of bike rides and hikes, but the little ones can't go out in the winter weather.

    Finally, I know you have indicted that you are completely burned out at night, but...This might be a really good opportunity to turn "can't" into "can." If you are in front of the TV, it might be a good time to get in some resistance training in a manner that is not going to raise your heart rate and freak you out before bed. There are so many things you can do, from some simple exercises with dumbbells to resistance bands, to body weight exercises (planks, cheater pushups, triceps dips, lunches, squats, etc), without getting your pulse up above 110, and while making a significant contribution to your overall fitness. Are there 2 or 3 evenings where you could fit in a half hour or hour while watching a program? If so, there are a variety of free programs out there that are great for beginners, with the kinds of things you can do even while beat. The lovely thing about exercise is, it helps you become less beat as you become more fit. You also really, really have to want it, and I can testify from personal experience, it takes a crap-load of grit to dig in and get those workouts done.
  • abbysmom814
    abbysmom814 Posts: 103 Member
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    I have a full-time job and two girls that are 9 and 3. I use a lot of workout DVDs so I am only away from my kids for 30-45 minutes and I'm only upstairs. Sometimes I get up early and do my workout and sometimes I wait and do it after dinner while they are downstairs watching TV or doing homework. I know the public library here has exercise DVDs in their catalog that people can check out. Maybe try that or look online for some ideas. There are lots of inexpensive ways to work some exercise in at home.
  • Mommamaddy
    Mommamaddy Posts: 26 Member
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    I have a smart tv and found a lot of Tabata videos on youtube! I would like to add a few of your moms as friends, would be nice to have a little support group to check in once and awhile with each other!
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,070 Member
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    I sympathize and with yours still being little that makes it that much harder. My youngest two are 12, so self sufficient. My husband and I get up early 3 days a week and do HIIT sprints while they get themselves ready for school. I then take an early morning conference call while hubby finishes getting ready for work and makes sure the kids have walked the dogs, gotten their stuff together. After my call, I head to the gym for weight training. If the kids are ready I'll offer a ride to school, otherwise they ride their bikes. Wednesdays my meeting schedule makes it difficult to get to the gym before work sometimes, so I will go at lunch on those days. On T/Th, I ride my bike to work if it's not too windy. Saturdays, hubby and I will get up and take a bike ride around the park and do some calisthenics while the kids sleep in.

    When mine were younger, the easiest thing was taking them to the YMCA where there is child care. You could do that a couple times a week if you want to do something you can't necessarily do at home like hit the weights. If you have the room, getting a rack and some weights at home would be awesome. The other days you can do HIIT first thing in the morning, since 15-20min is more than enough. Or you could do some gentler steady state cardio while watching TV with the kids in the evenings. I like to stand in the back of the room and hula hoop while watching movies.

    One thing that made a HUGE difference was us making the decision to move closer to work. Getting rid of a 3hr round trip commute freed up so much time. We had to significantly downgrade and still spend more money, but the payoff in the end is so worth it. I also had to make my health a priority....right up there with my family. I had to become a little selfish. My husband used to sneak off early in the morning to work so I was stuck making sure the kids got off. Now either I sneak out early or I relinquish control and put the responsibility in their hands. Because I go to the gym before work, I get in later and stay later, which means I get home a little later. So yes, I do give up a little family time. But because we live so close now, my later is still way before I would have gotten home before we moved. And I had to become an expert at meal planning/prepping, so dinner was quick and easy when I did get home.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
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    There's nothing terribly selfish about getting 30 minutes for yourself. I'd argue that it is important that you have time to re-fill the well so that you aren't drained by the needs of kids, jobs, house, etc.

    Women are taught to sacrifice for kids, but we also end up sacrificing our needs which isn't OK.

    Also, 30 minutes of having time without you stimulating them is OK. Whether that's at the YMCA child care, or a spouse, coloring or even *gasp* watching a little TV is fine.
  • leajas1
    leajas1 Posts: 823 Member
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    Hi. I work full time and have two young children as well. I get up at 4:30 am when my girls are asleep to workout. Then it's done for the day and there isn't a chance I can talk myself out of it during the day, because that's exactly what would happen. There is too much to do in the evenings after work and school: homework, dinner, quality time, preparing for the following day...it just won't happen.
  • a_candler
    a_candler Posts: 209 Member
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    So I work at a school kitchen, I'm up at 4:30am but not to exercise! Lol I'm off work by 1:30 and it's not my best motivational time. I've been pushing myself to just exercise even when I don't feel like it. So now I rush home, workout 30+mins at day and then go get my youngest from the sitters. If I get him first he demands my attention and I don't exercise.

    So figuring out your schedule and what works for you. Make yourself a priority, the little extra time you are for yourself will improve your mood and make you a better mommie!
  • CMNVA
    CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
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    My kids are grown now but for a long time I also had two young kids, worked outside the home, with a one hour commute each day. There was no exercising in the morning because I was already getting up at 4:30 AM just to get everyone out of the house and me to work on time. I'll be honest, I think years went by and I just didn't exercise and I had to be okay with that. Probably not the best thing in the world. But I found the best I could do was to find some sort of exercise DVD and just spend 30 minutes. It's better than nothing. My kids did usually want to watch their own TV shows and that's when I did it (usually after dinner). To be honest, even when they got to high school level, it was still a struggle because they always had something going on. I would advise to just aim for some movement and try to be happy with that. I often made myself miserable over not being able to do the exercise. Oh, and, I also tried to make the most of my weekends and do a 5 mile walk on Saturday and Sunday, so that at least on 2 days a week, I was doing something more significant.
  • cessi0909
    cessi0909 Posts: 654 Member
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    Mommamaddy wrote: »
    I need some help trying to fit exercise into my busy life. I am a 35 year old working mom with two small kids ages 6 and 2. I have a hard time to make time for myself. I am away from the kids all day I feel guilty leaving them at night to exercise.

    What do other mothers do?

    Hi! I am a working mom of 3 kiddos and have not run through all the responses yet but wanted to share what I try to do. My kids are 18 (still in HS), 8 and 6. I am married as well.

    I will walk the dog in the morning before anyone is up, I have been slacking lately cause it is so flipping cold though. But, I have no problem waking up at 4:30-5am and getting out. I also have a 100+ pound protective dog so I feel pretty comfortable walking when it is still semi dark. There is a Pure Barre studio opening near me and I am really hoping they offer an early morning class I can take.

    We do dance parties too. So my kids join me, there are some videos that are free through Amazon Prime for dance workouts and my kids love them. They also enjoy doing yoga videos with me and if they don't want to do it with me they are still in the room playing so I am home with them.

    On the weekends we are big hikers in the summer, live in Colorado, and that is something we all do together. My kids and husband ski/snowboard so this season I am taking a ski lesson so I can join them. We also want to go try out some snowshoeing.

    My office has a gym in the basement and I will spend my lunch break working out with a co-worker.

    We also will head to the park and play soccer or a good game of kickball together. That is how I try to balance working, taking care of myself and spending some quality time with my kids.

    Of course, I say all of this but need to be better at it. I am a weight loss struggle currently because I have not been taking care of myself but am back at it now. Good luck!

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