Awkward Situation with New Doctor
Kendralh
Posts: 40 Member
Hey all!
A little background, it's kind of long, I'm sorry and please bear with me!:
I have hypothyroid, so I go in to the doctor to get blood draws and a general check up every few months.
My normal doctor was awesome, super understanding and totally willing to work with me and discuss everything with me, but she just moved and turned me over to a new doctor. This month was my first visit with my new doctor.
This month when I was weighed a the doctor's office, I'd come straight from work, it was cold and rainy outside, and the nearby counter was full of other stuff, so I was carrying my large purse (easily at least 10 pounds, I wish I was joking...) and wearing steel toed boots and my winter jacket at the time.
I am an educated professional, holding multiple degrees. I work 60-75 hours most weeks, which is the main reason I don't eat/exercise as I know I should. I do eat reasonably well most days, and exercise about 3 days a week (plus my 20-minute walk into work), but sometimes end up late at work and eating complete junk or going out for dinner.
My new doctor seemed nice enough; the check up was mostly normal, until he handed me the "visit summary" at the end. I didn't read the summary until I got home later that day.
The summary listed that my doctor and I had discussed that I was obese and should follow a low fat diet (he hadn't mentioned my weight or diet at all...), and included a pamphlet that listed very obvious weight loss tips (like "try taking the stairs rather than the elevator" and "soda and juice have calories and sugar you don't realize you're ingesting, try drinking water instead").
I wish I could say I had a positive reaction, but I'd be lying. Instead, I was kind of offended, partially because he hadn't discussed any of that with me, partially because I don't feel he cared to understand the whole picture behind my weight/health, and partially because the pamphlet made me feel like he assumed I was a complete idiot who doesn't put any effort into my health or understand basic weight loss concepts.
I know that I'm overreacting and that my new doctor is trying to be helpful, but I'm still bothered and am not quite sure how to proceed. I don't want to find a new doctor because this one is near my work place, but I don't really feel comfortable with the new doctor because of this issue.
Has anyone dealt with something similar/ have any tips on how to deal with this issue next time I go in? Also, am I being completely unreasonable to be upset?
I'd like to discuss it with him, but don't want to sound like the hypersensitive person I'm apparently being right now.
Thanks for reading, sorry again it's so long!
p.s. I am 5'9", around 180 lbs (but weighed in around 200 that day), on the muscular side of normal body composition, and otherwise healthy, if anyone is curious.
A little background, it's kind of long, I'm sorry and please bear with me!:
I have hypothyroid, so I go in to the doctor to get blood draws and a general check up every few months.
My normal doctor was awesome, super understanding and totally willing to work with me and discuss everything with me, but she just moved and turned me over to a new doctor. This month was my first visit with my new doctor.
This month when I was weighed a the doctor's office, I'd come straight from work, it was cold and rainy outside, and the nearby counter was full of other stuff, so I was carrying my large purse (easily at least 10 pounds, I wish I was joking...) and wearing steel toed boots and my winter jacket at the time.
I am an educated professional, holding multiple degrees. I work 60-75 hours most weeks, which is the main reason I don't eat/exercise as I know I should. I do eat reasonably well most days, and exercise about 3 days a week (plus my 20-minute walk into work), but sometimes end up late at work and eating complete junk or going out for dinner.
My new doctor seemed nice enough; the check up was mostly normal, until he handed me the "visit summary" at the end. I didn't read the summary until I got home later that day.
The summary listed that my doctor and I had discussed that I was obese and should follow a low fat diet (he hadn't mentioned my weight or diet at all...), and included a pamphlet that listed very obvious weight loss tips (like "try taking the stairs rather than the elevator" and "soda and juice have calories and sugar you don't realize you're ingesting, try drinking water instead").
I wish I could say I had a positive reaction, but I'd be lying. Instead, I was kind of offended, partially because he hadn't discussed any of that with me, partially because I don't feel he cared to understand the whole picture behind my weight/health, and partially because the pamphlet made me feel like he assumed I was a complete idiot who doesn't put any effort into my health or understand basic weight loss concepts.
I know that I'm overreacting and that my new doctor is trying to be helpful, but I'm still bothered and am not quite sure how to proceed. I don't want to find a new doctor because this one is near my work place, but I don't really feel comfortable with the new doctor because of this issue.
Has anyone dealt with something similar/ have any tips on how to deal with this issue next time I go in? Also, am I being completely unreasonable to be upset?
I'd like to discuss it with him, but don't want to sound like the hypersensitive person I'm apparently being right now.
Thanks for reading, sorry again it's so long!
p.s. I am 5'9", around 180 lbs (but weighed in around 200 that day), on the muscular side of normal body composition, and otherwise healthy, if anyone is curious.
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Replies
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I would be annoyed that the visit summary listed something that was inaccurate. Sometimes those things are billed to insurance. I had a pediatrician list that she did "nutrition counseling" with me at a well-check. I called up the office and insisted that it be taken off. My insurance was going to be billed for a service I never received. I was there for a well-check. Taking my child's height and weight is part of the visit, not "nutrition counseling".
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I would be annoyed that the visit summary included notes on a discussion that didn't happen.
I would not be upset that the doctor noted that you were obese. If you weighed in at 200 lbs, you were obese according to that measurement. It's pretty strange to be weighed while wearing your coat and carrying your purse. I put that stuff down and take my shoes off when being weighed at the doctor's office. I would think that the doctor would assume you'd done something similar.
Doctors should be noting when people are overweight/obese since either situation can cause or exacerbate health problems. Likewise, they should note when people have lost weight. I lost over 50 lbs and my doctor never said a word, which I thought was very strange. Why weigh me during a well visit if you're not going to do something with the data?10 -
Oh! I didn't realize maybe they'd bill for more. It's ridiculous that they did that.
I don't think I'd be so upset if he'd mentioned it and given me a chance to discuss everything with him- it just feels so judgmental as-is.2 -
Id bring it with u next time and just tell them u thought it was strange to read this when u didnt discuss this at all during the visit. And youd like to be weighed more accurately next time. Then it just clears the air for u but more importantly youll get the service u want (hopeully) and not feel ripped off. Its prob a diff way of working the new doctor takes or maybe they were having a bad day... just go next time n when they ask how u are at beginning of apointment just politely bring it up4
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jemhh--
Congratulations on the loss! That's great! I'd assume your doctor would be ecstatic! Good work
I'm not overly concerned about the annotation of "obese" since the data he had supported that, but really really would have liked a conversation about it. If that were my true weight, I would have appreciated a conversation about how it's affecting my health and/or possibly understanding how to better help me lose weight rather than assuming I'm clueless and lazy (especially because of my thyroid problem, which makes losing weight more complicated than normal).
I think I'm upset because of the assumptions he made about me and the fact that he felt it was ok to put it on the summary without actually discussing it with me.
I'm not sure how to bring it up to him next visit. It's really important to me to have a good relationship with my doctors, especially because I see them so often. Any tips?0 -
Neanbean--
I'll try it! Hopefully he was just having an off day. Thank you 0 -
he's probably required to give you the information even if he doesn't think your health is at risk due to your weight...my son is big and tall, his height/weight is fine for an adult (5'10, 145lbs), but he's only 14 so he's at the top of the growth chart for his age...well, that makes him "overweight" per medical standards, even though you can count all his ribs because he is painfully thin...the top 15% of the chart is "overweight", the top 5% is "obese", it doesn't matter if the child is height/weight proportional and if you can see his ribs...so, my pediatrician was required, for legal reasons, to give me a chat about how he is "overweight" and how he qualifies for additional services like cholesterol monitoring and nutrition counseling, even though he's clearly not a health risk in real life and she doesn't really feel that any intervention is necessary.
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He DEFINITELY should have said something to you. However, I know from working as a medical student that it is standard protocol for a GP to either suggest weight loss or give the patient a weight loss pamphlet if they are overweight or obese. He may be one of those GP's that just "do there job" and he doesn't really know or have any clue about nutrition and knows most of his patients just ignore the pamphlet anyways. Maybe mention it next visit. Usually they will say something to the patient. Maybe he just wasn't focused on it and just did it as a "oh yeah standard protocol have to give this to them because patient is overweight". Even one of the nurses or secretaries could have put it in there under standard notes. (We have templates of visit notes made for every patient with "discussed weight loss" in it if the patient is obese. It was probably his fault he didn't actually do everything he was suppose to). I would say next time "hey the visit note said we discussed ______, but I don't remember that".3
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Personally, I think this is reflective of how little time doctors have to spend with each patient. Most doctors see thousands of patients. You mentioned that your old doctor left and this was a new doctor. He likely took over most of your previous doctor's patients, so he probably had lots of new patients. Is it any wonder that he didn't seem to be that invested in you?
This is one of the reasons I keep track of all my own health data. Whatever blood tests, blood pressure, weight and bodyfat history, nutritional data from tracking, etc, I keep all of that in excel files. If a doctor wants to see it, I have it handy on a thumb drive, but I don't expect anyone else to care as much about my health as I do, including my doctor.7 -
As others mentioned, definitely get the billing straightened out sooner rather than later. Don't wait for your next visit to mention it or it might be too late to dispute. I don't know your location but in the US I know a lot of offices try to make money dishonestly, which is something I've had to deal with personally and it took a lot of time and effort. (My insurance rejected a claim for a service never provided and so the office illegally billed me; they ended up waiving it when I looked into it but not without a lot of pain on my part and they never suffered any consequences for their illegal actions).
I've been weighed with my shoes before but never with a purse? That's weird. I wouldn't be offended by the pamphlet, it's probably just standard issue but definitely mention it to the doctor, as it doesn't sound like it would be helpful to anyone.
You don't sound over sensitive. Healthcare is expensive and you should receive quality care, which includes comprehensive treatment that takes into account all factors of your life. I actually took a class last semester about how healthcare really doesn't work when physicians refuse to look at psychology for example, or a patient's financial status.
It's your call whether you want to look for a new doctor or work with this one but don't overlook anything that makes you uncomfortable. You're not overreacting. It's your health that's on the line so you are the boss0 -
I remember back in high school getting an undeserved lecture from a doctor. When I would go in for check ups, I would be wearing an extra 15 lbs of stuff easily. I was a little punk rocker, so I had my "pin jacket", steel toes, metal studded everything, wallet chain... Then I went in when I was actually sick, so I was wearing sweat pants, a t-shirt, and slippers. According to the doctor's chart, I had suddenly lost 15 lbs and so I got a lecture on anorexia and various eating disorders. That went over well with angsty, punk, teenager me.1
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I would be upset as well. I know with my doctors there is a online site where I can email my doctor and set up appointments and such. If you have this I would take advantage of it and email him stating your concerns. This way you have voiced it without that feeling of confrontation and can let it go. This also keeps him from feeling like you are putting him on the spot and he can think about it before addressing you about it. I have used this and honestly it allowed my doctor and I to laugh about things later. I hope things get better with him.1
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HealthyBody-- Ha! That's unfortunate but pretty funny to picture.
I read an article a few weeks back about how doctors tend to attribute more problems than they should to weight (high or low), and that not being at a normal weight can reduce the quality of care you receive.
When I initially went in to the doctor for tiredness, sluggishness, weight gain despite exercise and diet, being cold and moody, it took a year and two doctors telling me to eat better (and seemingly not believing that I was already doing so) before one finally tested my thyroid.
I keep record of my blood pressure, and everything recorded on mfp, but I could definitely use a re-organization! Good advice.2 -
jemhh--
Congratulations on the loss! That's great! I'd assume your doctor would be ecstatic! Good work
I'm not overly concerned about the annotation of "obese" since the data he had supported that, but really really would have liked a conversation about it. If that were my true weight, I would have appreciated a conversation about how it's affecting my health and/or possibly understanding how to better help me lose weight rather than assuming I'm clueless and lazy (especially because of my thyroid problem, which makes losing weight more complicated than normal).
I think I'm upset because of the assumptions he made about me and the fact that he felt it was ok to put it on the summary without actually discussing it with me.
I'm not sure how to bring it up to him next visit. It's really important to me to have a good relationship with my doctors, especially because I see them so often. Any tips?
"When I read the visit summary after my last appointment I was surprised to see that it mentioned that we had discussed my need to lose weight because we did not have a discussion about it. It seems like it would be a good idea for us to discuss my medical issues a bit since you're new to being my doctor and I'm new to being your patient so you don't really know my case..." Something like that?2 -
"When I read the visit summary after my last appointment I was surprised to see that it mentioned that we had discussed my need to lose weight because we did not have a discussion about it. It seems like it would be a good idea for us to discuss my medical issues a bit since you're new to being my doctor and I'm new to being your patient so you don't really know my case..." Something like that?
Oh man that's perfect! I may memorize it, hah.
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So what did you and your doctor actually talk about on your visit? While doctors are discreet with patient's info, they are still people and may be embarrassed to tell you that you're obese. Or may he's a doctor that might have had a confrontation with a patient about he same issue previously.
Don't just let the doc ask the questions. If you know there's an issue, bring it up yourself.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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So what did you and your doctor actually talk about on your visit? While doctors are discreet with patient's info, they are still people and may be embarrassed to tell you that you're obese. Or may he's a doctor that might have had a confrontation with a patient about he same issue previously.
Don't just let the doc ask the questions. If you know there's an issue, bring it up yourself.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Hello!
He introduced himself then we discussed my blood test results (for levels of thyroid hormone, to verify my medication is at the correct levels), which is the reason I go to the doctor so often. I also told him I'd caught whopping cough while I was away on travel for work (3 months) and was mostly recovered but thought I'd separated some of my rib cartilage coughing and wanted him to verify that it wasn't anything else. He listened to my lungs just to be sure and poked at my ribs then agreed that it wasn't anything serious.
And, as a side note, my recorded weight was 201, which corresponds to a 29.7 BMI, which is technically not obese, and I appear to be thinner than I am ( I'm 180 lbs and more muscular than most women). I am not concerned about my weight from a health perspective-- I have healthy stats and am in good cardiovascular shape.
Thanks for your input!0 -
Are you able to email the physician? In my area, we have a charting system available. We have access to all of our medical records, labwork, etc. We also have access to email our providers with non-urgent questions. I've used this several times (for myself and kids) and they respond fairly quickly. I'm not sure what region you are in (US or otherwise), but we are in a fairly large city.
I'm not a confrontational person, so for me - this would be a perfect opportunity to email him and discuss my concerns with his inaccurate charting and ask any specific questions (or provide more info about weight, etc.). That way, you've expressed concern swiftly without having to wait until the next time you visit.
HTH!0 -
Are you able to email the physician? In my area, we have a charting system available. We have access to all of our medical records, labwork, etc. We also have access to email our providers with non-urgent questions. I've used this several times (for myself and kids) and they respond fairly quickly. I'm not sure what region you are in (US or otherwise), but we are in a fairly large city.
I'm not a confrontational person, so for me - this would be a perfect opportunity to email him and discuss my concerns with his inaccurate charting and ask any specific questions (or provide more info about weight, etc.). That way, you've expressed concern swiftly without having to wait until the next time you visit.
HTH!
We have an online system, but I haven't seen an option for email my doctor. I'll check again!
That would keep me from being anticonfrontational and chickening out, haha.
Thanks 0 -
I am thinking there is just some standard practice in the office where your weight is entered in the computer and the obesity talk and pamphlet just shows up automatically. Maybe your doctor saw it in his notes or maybe not. The doctor saw that you were not obese and saw no reason to speak to you about weight. As long as you weren't billed for the service I would just chalk it up to automation.2
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It's tough to find a doctor that you like. Yeah, he should have mentioned it. However, I've talked to my doctor about it and she usually doesn't talk about it with her patients because really, they don't care (and they're not stupid and are usually pretty aware that they are overweight).
I always get lots of paperwork I don't care about when I leave the office too though! At least yours didn't give you all the paperwork about the risks of obesity too (I got that one)... But low fat diet? Pffffft.1 -
jennybearlv wrote: »I am thinking there is just some standard practice in the office where your weight is entered in the computer and the obesity talk and pamphlet just shows up automatically. Maybe your doctor saw it in his notes or maybe not. The doctor saw that you were not obese and saw no reason to speak to you about weight. As long as you weren't billed for the service I would just chalk it up to automation.
I hope so!!!! That'd probably be best-case scenario.It's tough to find a doctor that you like. Yeah, he should have mentioned it. However, I've talked to my doctor about it and she usually doesn't talk about it with her patients because really, they don't care (and they're not stupid and are usually pretty aware that they are overweight).
I always get lots of paperwork I don't care about when I leave the office too though! At least yours didn't give you all the paperwork about the risks of obesity too (I got that one)... But low fat diet? Pffffft.
The pamphlet also seemed to think that fat and carbs are BOTH the devil, so that's concerning. I guess we should only eat chicken breast, and who needs those fat soluble vitamins anyway...0 -
I completely get where you're coming from. When we moved to a different state, we had to get my daughter's medical records from her old pediatrician to take with us. Her pediatrician had scrawled on her chart, "MOTHER IS MORBIDLY OBESE". I was shocked that he would write that when I wasn't even his patient. It felt like a kick in the chest. And also those friendly 'tips' that are in pamphlets like you mention are almost always things we already know. It can be so belittling even though that may not be the intention.0
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Gamerchick00 wrote: »I completely get where you're coming from. When we moved to a different state, we had to get my daughter's medical records from her old pediatrician to take with us. Her pediatrician had scrawled on her chart, "MOTHER IS MORBIDLY OBESE". I was shocked that he would write that when I wasn't even his patient. It felt like a kick in the chest. And also those friendly 'tips' that are in pamphlets like you mention are almost always things we already know. It can be so belittling even though that may not be the intention.
OH MY GOSH THAT'S TERRIBLE! I'm so sorry that happened to you.
All of this, yes. It felt so condescending!1 -
I've always found it interesting to read my medical file. I miss the days when they were actual paper files. I'd jump up and read the notes whenever the nurse or doctor left the exam room. They always write stuff in there that they don't say out loud.3
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I think there is a good chance that your doctors EHR, electronic health record automatically generates those prompts and handouts. That is a built in part of many systems. I know it can come across as offensive but it is really not meant to be.2
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I've always found it interesting to read my medical file. I miss the days when they were actual paper files. I'd jump up and read the notes whenever the nurse or doctor left the exam room. They always write stuff in there that they don't say out loud.
I did that, too. Only way I found out my blood type, or I was an A+ patient.
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We recently saw billing info from our insur that says our family Dr charges by the MINUTE! Not sure why this seems shocking to me,but it does.There's a big difference between a virus & a serious illness call.
Wondering if they know how long they need to take for each visit.....or is the computer beeping them? As long as time limits are met,a Dr needs to say whatever words fit & hit the hall to next patient?
Can you call the office asking how to get on line access?0 -
Hey all!
A little background, it's kind of long, I'm sorry and please bear with me!:
I have hypothyroid, so I go in to the doctor to get blood draws and a general check up every few months.
My normal doctor was awesome, super understanding and totally willing to work with me and discuss everything with me, but she just moved and turned me over to a new doctor. This month was my first visit with my new doctor.
This month when I was weighed a the doctor's office, I'd come straight from work, it was cold and rainy outside, and the nearby counter was full of other stuff, so I was carrying my large purse (easily at least 10 pounds, I wish I was joking...) and wearing steel toed boots and my winter jacket at the time.
I am an educated professional, holding multiple degrees. I work 60-75 hours most weeks, which is the main reason I don't eat/exercise as I know I should. I do eat reasonably well most days, and exercise about 3 days a week (plus my 20-minute walk into work), but sometimes end up late at work and eating complete junk or going out for dinner.
My new doctor seemed nice enough; the check up was mostly normal, until he handed me the "visit summary" at the end. I didn't read the summary until I got home later that day.
The summary listed that my doctor and I had discussed that I was obese and should follow a low fat diet (he hadn't mentioned my weight or diet at all...), and included a pamphlet that listed very obvious weight loss tips (like "try taking the stairs rather than the elevator" and "soda and juice have calories and sugar you don't realize you're ingesting, try drinking water instead").
I wish I could say I had a positive reaction, but I'd be lying. Instead, I was kind of offended, partially because he hadn't discussed any of that with me, partially because I don't feel he cared to understand the whole picture behind my weight/health, and partially because the pamphlet made me feel like he assumed I was a complete idiot who doesn't put any effort into my health or understand basic weight loss concepts.
I know that I'm overreacting and that my new doctor is trying to be helpful, but I'm still bothered and am not quite sure how to proceed. I don't want to find a new doctor because this one is near my work place, but I don't really feel comfortable with the new doctor because of this issue.
Has anyone dealt with something similar/ have any tips on how to deal with this issue next time I go in? Also, am I being completely unreasonable to be upset?
I'd like to discuss it with him, but don't want to sound like the hypersensitive person I'm apparently being right now.
Thanks for reading, sorry again it's so long!
p.s. I am 5'9", around 180 lbs (but weighed in around 200 that day), on the muscular side of normal body composition, and otherwise healthy, if anyone is curious.
I doubt the doctor weighed you, so he/she was going off the chart which said you were 200 pounds and close to obese at your height. You should not have let the assistant weigh you with all that extra stuff.4 -
i do question why you were weighed with all the things you listed? I mean i take shoes, coat off and put all bags down when i weigh myself at the checmist or at the doctors. to weigh in with all the stuff you listed makes NO sense at all??
anyway re the doctor, tbh at my next appointment I start it by asking why he had put in the summary you had discussed it when you hadnt? id also ask if he bothered to read any of you note before seeing? becuase if he had he would have been more on key with your situation.
I cant stand when you see a new/different doctor and the dont bother spending 2mins to scan through your note so have no idea whats what or why0
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