I lost almost 80 lbs and have gained back a little more than 50!

robbielyn83
robbielyn83 Posts: 5 Member
in Getting Started
Cw 264
Gw 160
A few years ago I started mfp at around 278 lbs. for one whole day I was at 195. I cried all day that day. A mixture of satisfaction and self loathing. It was so incredibly hard doing it, I felt like I was starving myself and I was miserable. I worked out 3-4 days a week and was steadily eating around. 1200 calories each day. I started avoiding hanging out with friends because it was too difficult. Even though everyone was supportive, they still encouraged my margaritas.
Life changed and I started letting it go a bit...yay margaritas again...and then a lot. I met a great guy who always has been supportive and loves me no matter my weight. When I met him I bounced around 215. (Also I hate that I can track my weight by events in my life). Slowly the comfort level crept in and poof, here I am in love and at 265 lbs. I went to the dr last week and the scale read 264.4. I literally cried all of the way home. I immediately started again that day. It's been only a few days. The man is on board. I have mixed feelings still. I was happier thinner for obvious reasons, but I don't ever want to be in the position again that I felt like I was starving myself and avoiding life. So how do you peeps deal with that?

Replies

  • heathervo
    heathervo Posts: 36 Member
    This is sort of where I am too. I was exercising and eating well, losing the weight, focused and logging in here daily. I met someone, which is great and I'm happy. But, like you, poof back to my old weight. I wish I had good advice for you but at this point I'm just getting back into this myself! Happy to try to help each other though if you're interested.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    You have to eat so much less that you lose weight, but not so little that you starve yourself. If you do that. consistently, you lose weight. What calorie number did MFP give you? Have you tried to stick with that? If not, why not? If you have tried, why can't you stick with it?
  • DKG28
    DKG28 Posts: 299 Member
    i regained half of what I lost. I spend a whole year tracking 1200 precisely, and it worked. But planning every morsel of food, and having to have a plan when going out and hanging with people, after a while the effort took away my joy in the moment. My original success was because I was completely and utterly focused on myself...and that's not any way to live and enjoy relationships. But I also know how much better and more confident I felt about myself without the extra weight. So, i'm here with you trying to balance things.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,082 Member
    You don't want to feel like you are starving, so don't starve yourself. It is not necessary. I would suggest two options, either set your weight loss goal for at most 1 pound per week, and eat at least 50% of your exercise calories back; or set your goal calories at maintenance for your goal weight. Both will be a slower rate of loss, but should give you significantly more calories to work with than 1200.
  • robbielyn83
    robbielyn83 Posts: 5 Member
    Thanks. I saw a nutritionist who told me to eat around 1700 calories. Right now my low goal is 1500 with my high 1700. It's maintaining balance. I live in Chicago. The food here is amazing, it's hard to eat a salad when you're smelling pizza and it's even harder to have a small piece. Balance. Haha.
  • dfc4
    dfc4 Posts: 109 Member
    Hi, getting in shape is hard work and requires a lot of Motivation, staying in shape requires dedication.

    No one ever won a race by taking things easy!!.

    I am now getting back into shape after being hit by a car and spending 18 months in a wheelchair, it has took me 6 years to get where i am now but i will achieve my Goal by next summer.

    Sure i get hungry....sometimes i think im going to starve to death, i get up every morning at 5:30 and Train on an empty stomache before going to work hungry...my first meal is at 12:30 and my second is at 16:30 then nothing but unsweatened tea, black coffee & water till the next day at 12:30

    If crying was a good way of burnng calories....i would cry all day Long...but is isn't

    Just hard work...constantly keeping on top of your Nutrition and more hard work.

    Get used to it!!!!!!!......or stay aout of shape.....hard words i know, but it's the truth.
  • dfc4
    dfc4 Posts: 109 Member
    robbielyn83 wrote: »
    Thanks. I saw a nutritionist who told me to eat around 1700 calories. Right now my low goal is 1500 with my high 1700. It's maintaining balance. I live in Chicago. The food here is amazing, it's hard to eat a salad when you're smelling pizza and it's even harder to have a small piece. Balance. Haha.

    hi again, it would be intersting for me to read how often you eat per day. u used to eat up to six small meals a day and my weight loss was very very slow, 1 kg every two months if i was lucky, i switched to two big meals per day (no breackfast) and have lost 20 Kg in 4 months.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,082 Member
    dfc4 wrote: »
    robbielyn83 wrote: »
    Thanks. I saw a nutritionist who told me to eat around 1700 calories. Right now my low goal is 1500 with my high 1700. It's maintaining balance. I live in Chicago. The food here is amazing, it's hard to eat a salad when you're smelling pizza and it's even harder to have a small piece. Balance. Haha.

    hi again, it would be intersting for me to read how often you eat per day. u used to eat up to six small meals a day and my weight loss was very very slow, 1 kg every two months if i was lucky, i switched to two big meals per day (no breackfast) and have lost 20 Kg in 4 months.

    Meal timing has not effect on weight loss. It can help with compliance to calorie goals, but that is purely personal preference. I prefer fewer larger meals. Others prefer many small meals. Pick what works for you to feel satisfied with your calorie goal.

    As to eating a salad instead of a pizza, there is nothing wrong with pizza, but it is a matter of learning to eat a slice or two rather than a whole pizza. If you cannot feel satisfied with a slice of pizza, add something less calorie dense like salad or veggies so you don't blow out your calorie goal.
  • Lynzdee18
    Lynzdee18 Posts: 500 Member
    I'm tall. 5'9". 60 years old.

    I lived your experience even though my highest was 213 or so a few years ago. I hated myself on the way up to that weight so I fed myself. Not the smartest I've been.

    I'm a yoyo dieter. Or at least I was, for most of my adult life.

    I had a wake up call the end of July 2015. I was nearing my heaviest again. And now I had no excuse of no time to exercise or eat well since I was retired and had time for me and my health.

    MFP really saved me. I've managed to maintain a 60 pound and countless inches loss. I did the 1200 calorie starve and carb elimination for a few months.... I used it to train myself to want good good. I don't recommend this but it worked for me. Slowly after I lost the bulk of my weight by last Christmas, I began to eat, as my husband says, like a normal person. Two promises I made myself: do not succumb to the urge to clean your plate if you're full and do not force me self to eat something I don't like. Ever.

    It was time and I found the right tools. My friends, even though they know my battle, still say have that appetizer, have that margarita or glass of wine. My MFP friends get me and my struggle. So I turn to them for support. We commiserate. We laugh about the oopsies, the unexpected eating of the entire cheesecake. Then they listen to my mornings and tell me to move on.... and tomorrow IS a better new day.

    For the past year I've kept my promises yo myself and learned to love exercise and activity. I eat smarter now and have lost my craving for the foods that made me fat in the first place.

    You CAN be a smaller you, a happier you...... just experiment to find the tricks that help you.

    If you need a friend in this please feel free to add me. I log and post everyday. Best wishes! Lynz
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    In a past life, I only allowed myself 1200 calories a day too and worked out hard while not eating my calories back.

    These days I eat about 1500 - 1600 calories a day, work out but don't try to kill myself, and I've just accepted losing the weight is going to be slow and maintaining the loss will be a lifelong journey. I've been a yo-yo dieter and I want this to be a lifestyle change. I am finally ready to live my life in a way that is sustainable and healthy for me.

    It's challenging, but it's nowhere near as hard as it was to only let myself eat 1200 calories a day. I shudder to think of ever going back to that.

    I don't deny myself foods, but try to eat everything in moderation and it's working for me.
  • Moby_Dick
    Moby_Dick Posts: 26 Member
    I think we don't succeed when we starve ourselves. I hit rock bottom when I was 9 pounds away from weighing 300 lbs.

    I stood there, looked at the scale and wondered how it all happened. I am an overeater, I was on medications like steroids that made me gain weight, I hit menopause. All of it is fine, but it was me who let it happen.

    I am here since a week, will be here for about two years before I will be able to say, "Yes, I hit my goal." Dieting and starvation is not the solution. Think about it. Is what we eat really that bad? Or is it rather the amount we eat?

    In my case, it's the amount I eat. I love food; I eat until I am full. I have no limit, if I go overboard, I go all the way. I love bacon, I love candy, I love so many different foods. But how can I love something if I don't really enjoy it? If I just shovel food in my body without enjoying it, this can not possibly be enjoyment.

    Stop starving yourself and live and enjoy life to the fullest. But think about quantity, rather than quality. I had smoked salmon today in the morning. Two beers yesterday and tomorrow I will have a few cookies and guess what? It's working. The weight is going down. I have an "x amount" of calories to play with for the day, let's play the heck out of it.

    I need to learn portion control; I need to learn to be in control.

    I read so many introductions here last week, many of them sound like people are going to a funeral. That's not the right mindset.

    This is a party!
  • tomteboda
    tomteboda Posts: 2,171 Member
    I won't starve myself again. That's the road to unhappiness. I did it years ago, and of course over time the weight came back on and I dreaded "dieting" so much I put it off till ridiculous times.

    Weight pre-starvation-diet: 220
    Weight post-starvation-diet: 170

    Weight 5 years post-starvation-diet: 190
    Weight 10 years post-starvation-diet: 235
    Weight 17 years post-starvation-diet: 260

    Seriously, I knew my weight was a problem. But oh man, the idea of facing 1,200 calories again was enough to put it off.. and off... and off.

    I know all about crying when you get on a scale. I cried when I topped 220 again. I cried when I hit 260 too. It was fortunate I didn't know that my scale was broken and I was really 270 at the time.. but anyway...

    Here's what I've done:

    I set a calorie goal to lose 1 lb / week. I log my activity. I eat back exercise calories, so that my weight loss has NEVER been more than 1 lb/week. That's a 500 calorie deficit and the real hunger issues were taken care of. Now feelings of deprivation.. well, there's only so much you can do, you have to deal with those somehow. Once my weight got below 180 I dropped to a 250 cal/day deficit.

    I don't exercise like a fanatic. I started walking 15 minutes 3 x a week. Now I walk my dogs about 70 minutes a day, give or take. I do housework (a lot more than when I was heavy). That's about it. This is a life I can keep up with.

    Yes, its been slow. The blessing is that I haven't felt MISERABLE the whole time. And unlike the slim-fast I was on before, I eat normally. I just count and budget.

    Best wishes!
  • lenamae23
    lenamae23 Posts: 60 Member
    Your story sounds a lot like mine. I am just starting back here to hopefully get on track and stay there! I need to take some control and some responsibility. Anyone feel free to add me.
  • robbielyn83
    robbielyn83 Posts: 5 Member
    Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories. Being part of a community is a part of MFP that I didn't partake in before. Even though you know other people are struggling, there is something about actually discussing it as you're experiencing it that I think...and hope, will be a helpful motivator that I was lacking before. Sometimes with friends, even though they are supportive, it's difficult to really discuss everything that you want to. They are more likely to help you indulge. "we worked out really hard, Starbucks run?" My boyfriend went and got take out for us the other night. I was good and had him grab me a salad. Guess who also got a large fry so he could share it with me. It's a lonely venture trying to lose weight.
    My biggest challenges are as follows:
    1. I live in Chicago...holy mother of god the food is amazing here. Pizza, glorious muthaf'n pizza!
    2. I overeat and have an appetite like a high school football player. Food is always on my mind. My stomach is growling right now. I could probably tell you everything in my pantry and fridge right now.
    3. Socially, I like to drink. Not a drunk by any means, but I am not interested in one drink if I go out, I want 5. This is how I started to isolate myself before. I would want to go to a party, but wouldn't want to a. spoil my calorie count so I wouldn't eat much and get waaaay too drunk or b. have A drink and be bored to hell as all of my friends had a good time. I was always the DD. It's not fun always being the DD. So I stopped participating at all. I was lonely and miserable. Skipping dinner with friends a few times a month or a night out seriously killed a lot of my overall enjoyment in life. My friends got me out of that, but the pounds packed back on.
    4. Preparing food that is healthy is extremely time consuming. Sometimes I work a lot, and sometimes I work a little. Having consistent time to do such things is next to impossible. The heavy work weeks are when the take out and pizza delivery happens...then it just keeps happening because it's easy and my kitchen is so nice and clean.
    5. I think this one is the most stressful. My boyfriend is naturally thin. We eat almost the same foods, he worse than me and he has gained probably 5 pounds to my 50! It's maddening! How do I cook for the 2 of us for him to gain and maintain, and for me to lose?
    So what are your challenges? And how do you cope with them? Any advice or comment on mine, please feel free to say something.
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    1. Yummy - Have a big side salad with low cal dressing and one or two slices of pizza. Stop.
    2. Play with your macros and see what helps keep you satisfied - most find protein, fat combo I personally like fat, protein and carb at every meal.
    3. Drinking is fun - is this once a week or often? If once a week plan for it. Eat 1500 calories for several days and use the additional saved calories for the weekend. All that matters is that you are in a weekly deficit.
    4. "Healthy" food is relative. Some meal prep on the weekend for the week. Others like me wing it but I always try to include some veggies. For take out pizza see my #1 and order the next size smaller so bf can still eat his and you are limited to 1 or 2 slices. Salads are quick and easy to make and almost no clean up of the kitchen.
    5. My husband is thin as well. Sometimes we each make our own meal (both retired) and when I make food for the both of us it just comes down to portion. He gets more I get what is in my calorie goal. But we cook the foods we would normally eat no major retail of our diet.

    You mention "healthy foods" a few times so I just want to mention that you don't have to totally overhaul your foods and at least not at first. You just need to make adjustments like smaller portions, adding in some lower calorie higher volume foods like veggies. Drink water and get 7-8 hrs of sleep at night to keep your stress hormone at bay otherwise you will feel hungrier.

    best of luck!
  • robbielyn83
    robbielyn83 Posts: 5 Member
    All great suggestions. Thank you. The pizza will take work. :)
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    edited December 2016
    robbielyn83 wrote: »
    Cw 264
    Gw 160
    A few years ago I started mfp at around 278 lbs. for one whole day I was at 195. I cried all day that day. A mixture of satisfaction and self loathing. It was so incredibly hard doing it, I felt like I was starving myself and I was miserable. I worked out 3-4 days a week and was steadily eating around. 1200 calories each day. I started avoiding hanging out with friends because it was too difficult. Even though everyone was supportive, they still encouraged my margaritas.
    Life changed and I started letting it go a bit...yay margaritas again...and then a lot. I met a great guy who always has been supportive and loves me no matter my weight. When I met him I bounced around 215. (Also I hate that I can track my weight by events in my life). Slowly the comfort level crept in and poof, here I am in love and at 265 lbs. I went to the dr last week and the scale read 264.4. I literally cried all of the way home. I immediately started again that day. It's been only a few days. The man is on board. I have mixed feelings still. I was happier thinner for obvious reasons, but I don't ever want to be in the position again that I felt like I was starving myself and avoiding life. So how do you peeps deal with that?

    I think the secret is eating and living as healthy as you can and still enjoy your life. I'd rather be a little overweight and happy versus thin and miserable. At the same time, happiness doesn't require eating so much I go back up to my morbidly obese self, either. It's about finding the balance that's right for you. I've been more or less on maintenance for two months, will probably be for another two. I'm still 15 pounds from being in a normal weight range, but that's much, much better than being 155 pounds from being in a normal weight range. Even if I never lost that last 15, oh well, I'm still happier and healthier than I was.

    I also don't force myself to "work out" all the time, I would rather go out and do things I enjoy (like hiking, or snowshoeing, or skiing, or playing tennis, etc). Activity is a great way to burn some calories and have fun doing so.
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    I am obese because I love to eat and I overeat so I understand where you are coming from.

    Dinner with friends, I still go, but I no longer go out to eat 3 - 5 times a week. I just couldn't make it sustainable. I like to keep it to a once a week maximum and I plan for it. I'll "bank" calories by eating less the days coming up to going out or I'll only eat a light breakfast and lunch that day because I know I'm going to dinner. Sometimes both. I also look up nutritional information before I go so I have an idea of what I can / should eat. If something I want is higher in calories then I'll only eat half of it.

    Mostly the same advice with drinking. Although, it may be easier for me because I only have one drink, maybe two. It sounds like your tolerance is quite high if you can have five drinks and not be drunk. It's funny when I weighed less I could drink more and not feel the effects of the alcohol. I assume it's because I would drink more often back then. Now that I rarely drink, two drinks will make me sloppy so no need for more than that. I would also recommend zero calories mixers if you drink mixed drinks to cut back on the calories.

    Also, to be honest, I just had to reorient my hobbies some. Going out to eat was a hobby for me. I went out to eat more often than not. It just wasn't sustainable for me and I was packing on more and more weight. I do other things more now and I don't miss it honestly.

    Preparing the healthy food - I do it when I'm off when I'm doing other chores - the laundry, cleaning, etc. It's just another chore in my mind. I'll cook big batches of food to last the week, wash fruit and veggies and cut them up, and plan what I am going to eat for the week. I have to have some sort of plan. I can't go into things blind. If for some reason I'm lazy and don't feel like meal prepping on my off day I'll get takeout. But nowadays take out is a salad with dressing on the side or a sandwich or soup. Something that I know isn't high in calories.

    As for pizza, I wouldn't cut it out. Sounds like you love it. You just have to learn to eat it in moderation. Yes, it's hard, but after a while you'll adjust to it. You may have days you slip up but just keep going.

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