Help! Need a new mindset

Would you like someone to slap you?

Honestly, we can offer support but we can't motivate you to change your mindset - you're the only one who can do that. Do your best to take control of your thinking and get back onto a healthy track. Set up your profile properly, choose a healthy goal (say 0.5 - 1lb per week, depending on how much you have to lose), and eat the amount of calories MFP gives you. Don't beat yourself up and go on a week-long binge if you overeat one day, just get back on track the next. Allow yourself to have the kind of food you like to eat, so that you don't feel deprived and miserable, just have a portion that you can fit into your daily goals. Avoid an all-or-nothing mindset if you can!

Try to remember that your excess weight didn't appear overnight and it's not going to go away that fast. You need to find a way of controlling your portion sizes so that you're eating in a healthy and sustainable way that you can keep up once you reach your goal weight. Don't think about this as "a diet" with an end date when you can go back to "eating normally" - you need to establish a new "normal" to keep your weight stable.

You know that what you're doing is unhealthy, so at least you do realise that and want to change it. If, after a while, you still struggle with this yourself and feel you need more help, try to find some counseling or support to help you get out of this cycle you're stuck in. Your body may be coping okay for now because you're young, but you might find that your current behaviour causes health issues down the road so you need to get this sorted out.

Read these helpful posts for more help and advice, and trust the process. It really does work, if you give it time and patience.

Good luck, and lots of hugs! You can do this!

Nightsongx wrote: »

Thank you so much for your helpful advice! Yes, I just really need to kick myself out of this mindset. Unfortunately, my depression and anxiety have not made things easy on me. I only want to drop 10 pounds, and I think I'll just feel so much better and more confident about myself. It's not helping that my self-esteem is practically rock bottom. I've never been overweight, but I've also never considered myself good-looking. I wish I had never fallen into this negative, eating disorder-like mindset, because I'm almost sure that once I get out of it, the pounds will drop off just like that!

Maybe it's just me, but I've never been able to simply think myself out of a rut. I've sure acted on getting out of them though. Weight loss wise we aren't far apart, where I started and where you are, and I'll bet you two good cups of coffee that I'm funnier looking.

Set small goals, really small if need be, like making through breakfast in under, say, 350 Calories. Then through lunch, dinner etc. The hours will string into days and the weight will come off, a little at a time.

And do something good for yourself.

SueSueDio wrote: »

Nightsongx wrote: »

Thank you so much for your helpful advice! Yes, I just really need to kick myself out of this mindset. Unfortunately, my depression and anxiety have not made things easy on me. I only want to drop 10 pounds, and I think I'll just feel so much better and more confident about myself. It's not helping that my self-esteem is practically rock bottom. I've never been overweight, but I've also never considered myself good-looking. I wish I had never fallen into this negative, eating disorder-like mindset, because I'm almost sure that once I get out of it, the pounds will drop off just like that!

I'm sorry to hear that. Do please bear in mind that losing weight won't automatically make you 'happy', but if it changes the way you feel about yourself then the increased self-confidence CAN make a big difference to your life in general.

Are you having any kind of therapy for your depression and anxiety? If so, please consider talking through this with your therapist. In light of what you've said here, I agree with @Cylphin60 that it's really hard to just "think yourself out of it" when you're depressed... I'm suffering a bit myself at the moment, and was really surprised at how difficult it is to just DO things that I know, logically, are helpful and sensible. Allowing myself to spend time with activities that I find enjoyable, without any guilt attached for not doing something "useful" instead, has been very helpful for me.

If you can find ways to do something like this, or to set yourself very small goals as suggested above, perhaps it might help a little? But some outside help might be needed, in your situation. I know that I couldn't understand why, as a reasonably intelligent adult, I couldn't just "pull myself together" and get on with the things I knew I should be doing. Why is even the smallest thing so difficult at times? Having someone to talk to about these feelings has done me some good, I think, even though I'm still struggling.

I do wish you all the best!

@SueSueDio Well said, and you hang in there too.

SueSueDio wrote: »

Cylphin60 wrote: »

SueSueDio wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that. Do please bear in mind that losing weight won't automatically make you 'happy', but if it changes the way you feel about yourself then the increased self-confidence CAN make a big difference to your life in general.

Are you having any kind of therapy for your depression and anxiety? If so, please consider talking through this with your therapist. In light of what you've said here, I agree with @Cylphin60 that it's really hard to just "think yourself out of it" when you're depressed... I'm suffering a bit myself at the moment, and was really surprised at how difficult it is to just DO things that I know, logically, are helpful and sensible. Allowing myself to spend time with activities that I find enjoyable, without any guilt attached for not doing something "useful" instead, has been very helpful for me.

If you can find ways to do something like this, or to set yourself very small goals as suggested above, perhaps it might help a little? But some outside help might be needed, in your situation. I know that I couldn't understand why, as a reasonably intelligent adult, I couldn't just "pull myself together" and get on with the things I knew I should be doing. Why is even the smallest thing so difficult at times? Having someone to talk to about these feelings has done me some good, I think, even though I'm still struggling.

I do wish you all the best!

@SueSueDio Well said, and you hang in there too.

Aww, thank you! Doing my best...

me too - One day at a time.