Tell kids there's no Santa or keep up the ruse?
walkermom75
Posts: 45 Member
My 10 y.o. Is driving me nuts!!! The older two just rolled their eyes at me and I've never told them he doesn't exist ((16 and 13))...it's just a joke now to them. I still write from santa on all their gifts. My youngest would be so sad if I told her, but she's very suspicious. Am I causing emotional trauma??? Haha
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I don't think it causes emotional trauma. I have no emotional scars from finding out Santa isn't real. I think it's just something you grow out of. I wouldn't tell her the truth.0
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Is Disneyland viewed as non "magical"? We know it's an amusement park, but when going there do you actually feel happier?
I liken it to that. We know Mickey Mouse isn't a real being, but we still play along like he is when we see him.
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I told my little brothers from the jump that he wasn't real. but I also told them not to spoil it for every body else, nobody likes a party pooper2
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Best thing is to let them develop their senses together and on their own, let the littlest one be in the denial until they start figuring it out #mytwocents1
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Average age when both my girls stopped believing or was told by others was around 6. I did not tell them they found out on their own.
If she still believes in Santa and there is only one more night keep the ruse going.
Eta: I think it might be time after this year, even then the magic of Santa and all the things that make Christmas never dies.. so no trauma or harm will be done.. my brother told me when I was 7 and I have no scars..1 -
My parents never told us. We just heard from friends and stuff, and finally stopped believing I think when we were around 13 (brother and I)1
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Keep it going till she stops believing, why ruin it for her? We used to get presents till we were 16 from Santa, we loved the extra present, even after we stopped believing.2
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If she asks then just tell her that you pretend to be Santa for fun. Most kids stop believing by that age.
When my dd started asking questions about 7-8 years old we asked what she thought and followed her lead. We never made a huge deal about it. One gift and the stocking. No faked footprints or anything. It was never behavior dependent. No trauma.
When she was done pretending we started a new tradition. Each person is assigned another person's Christmas stocking and they get to be Santa and fill that person's stocking. We make a special shopping trip to buy stocking stuffers. I think dd has even more fun with this.2 -
So glad we never did the Santa thing. Avoids all this.1
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rileysowner wrote: »So glad we never did the Santa thing. Avoids all this.
We all loved Santa, his little present was always precious and fun.
My cat also bought me a present for Christmas, I knew he could not get to the shops, but it never stopped me enjoying what "he" bought me. Christmas is fun and magical, the time for giving and receiving.
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Me and my siblings tried to believe in Santa and my mom told us if we wanted to believe in Santa then we could let Santa buy our gifts.... We said we didn't believe but I stayed up really late that year to see if he did but in secret. lol Doesn't answer op's question bc it wasn't done in my house. I'd say let them have magic for as long as they can. Being a grown up is lame.3
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I also take eggnog with tea.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I also take eggnog with tea.
That was random lol0 -
Is Disneyland viewed as non "magical"? We know it's an amusement park, but when going there do you actually feel happier?
I liken it to that. We know Mickey Mouse isn't a real being, but we still play along like he is when we see him.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
This. This. This.
Let the kids have joy.2 -
I think I ruined it for many classmates in 4th grade. I don't celebrate Christmas, but I was surprised when other 9 and 10 year Olds got mad at me and told me I wasn't going to get presents that year.0
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Wait, Santa isn't real?!?!3
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WHHHAAATTTTTT???? Santa isn't real? Then whose lap did I sit on??2
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This! This is why we drive away the minors!0
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GreenGoddess22 wrote: »Wait, Santa isn't real?!?!
I know right?!
My parents always said if you believe he'll bring gives. I still believe
And my son does and I'll let him. It's a magical time of year and seeing his eyes light up when he saw Santa walking along earlier this month. There's lots of crappy enough stuff if they want to believe in magic why not let them.2 -
rileysowner wrote: »So glad we never did the Santa thing. Avoids all this.
I didn't want to. Then preschool happened and I didn't want to ruin it for them, they were just so excited about it...
Now they're almost 9 and know I'm buying the gifts, but still believe that Santa is real, just too busy to do everything I guess. They'll figure it out eventually...
I learned when I was 7 at school, by the way, I'll ALWAYS remember it... a kid ruined it for me, and laughed at me because I still believed. Then I played it cool and pretended that I never really believed in the first place. I just hope it doesn't come to that with mine.
They never really believed in the Easter bunny though, and the tooth fairy, well... she's been such a slacker, even if they do, I don't think they like her very much1 -
Honestly, I wish I could go back to when I believed in Santa. Christmas time was just so magical!! I came to the conclusion on my own that he was real when I was around 12-13, but I was never traumatized by this.1
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I got our son to believe in Santa one more year when he was at that age by telling him:
"Chad, where do you THINK all these toys came from? You know we don't have the money to buy you all this!"
He bought it and knew there really must be a Santa Clause.2 -
GreenGoddess22 wrote: »Wait, Santa isn't real?!?!
There's lots of crappy enough stuff if they want to believe in magic why not let them.
Re5pext.
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I found this. Thought it would be so cute. Long but worth it.
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"In our family, we have a special way of transitioning the kids from receiving from Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the Santa construct is not a lie that gets discovered, but an unfolding series of good deeds and Christmas spirit.
When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready.
I take them out "for coffee" at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made:
“You sure have grown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but I can see that your heart has grown, too. [ Point out 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior, consideration of people's feelings, good deeds etc, the kid has done in the past year]. In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you are ready to become a Santa Claus.
You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up like him. Some of your friends might have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that, because they aren't ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE.
Tell me the best things about Santa. What does Santa get for all of his trouble? [lead the kid from "cookies" to the good feeling of having done something for someone else]. Well, now YOU are ready to do your first job as a Santa!"
Make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone.
We then have the child choose someone they know--a neighbor, usually. The child's mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it--and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving.
My oldest chose the "witch lady" on the corner. She really was horrible--had a fence around the house and would never let the kids go in and get a stray ball or Frisbee. She'd yell at them to play quieter, etc--a real pill. He noticed when we drove to school that she came out every morning to get her paper in bare feet, so he decided she needed slippers. So then he had to go spy and decide how big her feet were. He hid in the bushes one Saturday, and decided she was a medium. We went to Kmart and bought warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and tagged it "merry Christmas from Santa." After dinner one evening, he slipped down to her house, and slid the package under her driveway gate. The next morning, we watched her waddle out to get the paper, pick up the present, and go inside. My son was all excited, and couldn't wait to see what would happen next. The next morning, as we drove off, there she was, out getting her paper--wearing the slippers. He was ecstatic. I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did, or he wouldn't be a Santa.
Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them. One year, he polished up his bike, put a new seat on it, and gave it to one of our friend's daughters. These people were and are very poor. We did ask the dad if it was ok. The look on her face, when she saw the bike on the patio with a big bow on it, was almost as good as the look on my son's face.
When it came time for Son #2 to join the ranks, my oldest came along, and helped with the induction speech. They are both excellent gifters, by the way, and never felt that they had been lied to--because they were let in on the Secret of Being a Santa."
<EDITED TO ADD: Written by Leslie Rush
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$%^Kin' Leslie..... making the rest of us look bad.0
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Why do we have to tell them? I never told my daughter, 15, there isn't one. They just grow out of it. My 12 year old son, I think possibly believes, or at least he still wants to enjoy in the magic. I love that he put out cookies and milk for Santa, and let me call NORAD to see where Santa was in the world, after he woke up after going to bed 2 hours earlier. Let them be kids, and enjoy the magic and the fun.2
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Why does Santa's handwriting look exactly like mom's handwriting??0
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walkermom75 wrote: »My 10 y.o. Is driving me nuts!!! The older two just rolled their eyes at me and I've never told them he doesn't exist ((16 and 13))...it's just a joke now to them. I still write from santa on all their gifts. My youngest would be so sad if I told her, but she's very suspicious. Am I causing emotional trauma??? Haha
The only Christmas Day trauma I had was when I was 7. We had moved into a new house a few months before and my Christmas stocking had been lost in the move. I asked Dad if I could borrow one of his socks...he said yes...I chose one of his very best socks. Imagine my horror when Dad's sock was missing Christmas morning and a new stocking was in its place! I got wise to the whole Santa thing when I was helping put away clothes a few days later and discovered my Dad didn't have any missing socks. I'd been suspicious but that was the clincher. I did keep up the ruse about Santa and the Easter Bunny for my younger siblings (both born a few years after the stocking drama) until they outgrew them. My parents made sure Santa gave me a present & that the Easter Bunny brought me special candy. Let her believe for as long as she wants but answer her questions about Santa honestly and tell her the story of St. Nicholas that inspired the Santa idea.0
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