I really want to change myself

Hi @nathasya,

It is scary to make change. Sometimes it is scarier to stay where you are. Most people diet to look better and feel better about themselves. Some people diet for health reasons (but are very happy when they look and feel better). I think when it comes down to health, the motivation and determination stays with you longer.

What are your goals, specifically? And what steps are you going to take to get there? What diet are you going to follow? I am happy if you friend me but in order to be supportive, truly supportive, I need to know what you want and how your are going to achieve it.

For me, I have lost 30 lbs and during that time, I have discovered that I am gluten intolerant (confirmed by my doctor) which is added to my lactose intolerance. That has helped define my diet. I eat nothing but non processed or packaged foods. It helps that I lived rural because there are no fast food or restaurants around me to tempt me but it also means that my husband or I cook everything from scratch. Grocery stores have a lot of processed foods too but they often contain things that I cannot eat, so again, cooking from scratch. Does not mean that our meals are necessarily simple! We like Thai particularly, and we are defined as foodies by our relatives. Just means we eat meat, veggies and spice things ourselves.

Feel free to send me a friend request or a message if you like.

@Nathasya,

Good goals!

For fitness, you want to concentrate on small steps of achievable goals. So, when you say you are tired when walking up steps, I am assuming that you lose your breath and have to take a moment to recover. So it is a really good goal to walk up stairs without becoming breathless. Running with friends? I think would make an excellent goal later when you achieve some weight loss and some fitness.

Exercise does not really help you lose weight, at least not at first. It is really excellent at helping you to maintain a weight loss because the muscles you build through exercise burns fuel even when you are not moving. However, at the beginning, it is hard to exercise and it can get discouraging. Exercise does, however, make your body healthier so it is important to work it in when you are able. But be sure that your body is ready, so do check with your doctor that it is OK to exercise.

I am still working on the exercise step and need encouragement to get it done! I have started again with exercise so many times and I am 62 years old, so that is a lot of starting again.

To start, I walk. I don't set a pace or a distance at first, I simply go for a walk in my neighbourhood and when I have had enough, I turn around and come home. After a couple of weeks of this, I feel better and I start setting goals for my walks. Hard to do in winter where I live and I use your stair idea. I go up a set of steps and then back down. I do this twice each day. After a week, I add a 3rd time. And then I try to do it twice in a row. And build endurance and speed from there. Simple. Private. And it works.

Many people also use a step counter to help them move more each day. 10,000 or 20,000 steps a day is a lot and is just a number. I track my normal steps for a few day (without changing my behaviour) and then add 300-500 more steps than my normal daily amount. I do this for a week and then do it again until I am moving more. Gyms are great, if you are comfortable there, and they do provide a range of machines so you don't get bored. But they can be expensive so you have to go all the time. If you decide to join, see if they have a trial membership to see if you like it and can work it in to your schedule.

I am just full of advice, aren't I? That is because I have had to do it myself. I also worked as a fitness coach at a senior's centre before I retired. I also coached at a regular gym. I have had sadness in my life and it put me on a bad path as far as weight and fitness. So I am back at it now that I am feeling better.

Since you cannot tell me to stop with advice , I am going to continue.

Diets. There are lots out there. But you can start simple. Yes, avoid fast food. You will likely become a better cook! Yes, avoid sugared drinks (that includes fruit juices!) and if you choose to have one, choose a diet one but not often. Drink tea, coffee or water unless you put lots of frappe chino stuff in your coffee (I drink my black, and I don't like people to meddle with it!) But if you like stuff in your coffee or tea, check the calorie and sugar count, it can add up.

MFP will give you an idea of how many calories a day to eat in order to lose weight. Fruit is good but high in sugar so I only have one a day. I am short, so my calorie count isn't high and I cannot afford the calories when I eat more fruit. One or two servings a day is really the limit for most women. Add veggies that grow above the ground! Don't eat too much bread, pasta, rice and stuff like that. If you start there, you should lose weight.

Some diets recommend low fat and some diets recommend low carbs. Some diets recommend a balance between these two elements.

Have a search for the DASH diet, or the DASH Healthy Fats diet, or have a look online for Dr Westman who recommends a low carb diet. Or you can ask at your doctor's office. Your national food guide will help too, but watch the serving sizes. I find the Canadian Food guide recommends too much starchy stuff. Even when I weigh and measure everything, I gain weigh when eating what they recommend.

You have to find something that you think you can stick with. And it often takes fiddling abit to get something you like. It is difficult to diet and you want to be able to enjoy the foods that you eat.

I hope that helps. I am happy to cheer you on if you cheer me on. I have a suggestion though. If you want to talk back and forth often, perhaps we should set up a private group just for the two of us (unless you want to invite someone else too). Let me know and I could set this up for us.

This is a public thread that anyone can see. Maybe a good thing but maybe not. Otherwise, we can keep in touch through messages now and again.

Whew! A book! Now I will stop.

You can do this! You are here and that is a huge first step.

Good luck! You can do it