Shes worried about her muscle distribution
OrdinaryDude300
Posts: 51 Member
My gf been steady in the gym for nearly two years. She been doing great. She developed strong legs though you could not tell by just looking at her legs in normal length shorts. Its her upper thighs and hip region where you can see the development. She was saying shes looking out of proportion. I think she' s looking great and very noticable improvement to her overall body tone. She complains her butt is still droppy but dont want leg musles like some men. Way too hard on her body image. Her upper quad muscle are very noticeable when in a high cut but not muscles above the knees. She got naturally smaller bone structure at the knees and calves and feet but healthly hip region. She wants to tone and raise her butt up but not increase upper thigh and hip look. Shes doing just below parallel back squats, dumbell lunges, leg press, knee extention machine, leg curls walking and treadmil. I cant do her leg routine completely to her level as she is way more committed to lower body then i am. She just started hip trusts last two months. Does she need to change her routine? Her body type is what it is . Shes even looked into butt implants. Now she wont do this but shes not getting enough butt results in her mind set. My job is to tell her how great she looks and to encourage her to keep up the good work. I am not knowledgable enough to help in the gym.
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Maybe try a self empowerment course or something? You say she looks great right?
Then it's her mind that needs rewiring. Her lack of self-esteem is probably the issue.1 -
Set her up with a personal trainer!1
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I think she looks great yes. She dont like her butt. She wants it fuller. It was flatter before and i see progress on depth and lifting. She dont see much change. To her its her weak area. She wants more balance from knee to upper thigh so more lower quad and vmo size. She wants more shape to her calves. Shes got natural small calves. I see she has gained shape and muscle there with her calve raises and cardio. They will never be big as not in her dna. Mostly its her butt she wants to change Shes a beautiful woman head to toes. I here hip trusts are great for the butt. What about deadlifts and those exercises there you stand up and swing your leg to the side and another behind you?. See others doing this but no idea the name.0
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OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »I think she looks great yes. She dont like her butt. She wants it fuller. It was flatter before and i see progress on depth and lifting. She dont see much change. To her its her weak area. She wants more balance from knee to upper thigh so more lower quad and vmo size. She wants more shape to her calves. Shes got natural small calves. I see she has gained shape and muscle there with her calve raises and cardio. They will never be big as not in her dna. Mostly its her butt she wants to change Shes a beautiful woman head to toes. I here hip trusts are great for the butt. What about deadlifts and those exercises there you stand up and swing your leg to the side and another behind you?. See others doing this but no idea the name.
Perhaps you should start taking progress photos of her so that over time, she's able to see that she's making progress.
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She had one in the beginning for 2 months Then saw another for about a month more recently. Right now shes doing high rep on everthing. 20 to 25 reps. 20 squats, lunges per side leg press entire ball of wax. I tried it and frankly i cant complete It to these 20 reps, its too exhausing lol. Her cardio fitness and lower bidy strength is very good right now. Obviously better then mine so she been very dedicated. Is it not better she goes with 8 to 10 reps and heavy to build her butt and lift?1
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Buy her a copy of Strong Curves.5
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Unfortunately, we all have "problem areas." We can work work work toward "fixing" them, but no matter how toned or lean or whatever they get, we're still going to see them as a problem area. We can't win, and that seems like what she's thinking right now. Good for you for being supportive, I don't know how many threads I've seen that involve unsupportive and straight up mean partners.
As for the reps question, yes, in my opinion high weight lower reps is better. I'd suggest even fewer than 10 reps--I typically do about 5 sets of 6. Women tend to worry about getting bulk and so we often use a light af weight for more reps which really doesn't help gain much strength at all.
I've not been that focused on body recomposition but I know it's definitely not possible to spot train so if she wants a bigger booty she might have to deal with thicker thighs. I don't think she has to worry about gaining "thunder thighs." Very few of us have perfect proportions, so in order to get one thing you often have to compromise on another.
Keep supporting her, but realize there's only so much you can do.0 -
Build glutes not legs advice, from the glute expert:
https://bretcontreras.com/growing-glutes-without-growing-the-legs/
Ahh beat me to it! Also I want to add, working on glute activation is very important. If she is squatting and quad dominant she may have to retrain herself to focus on the mind muscle connection and use the glute muscles to lift the weight and thrust at the top. I am bulking right now and I actually don't squat super heavy (not by choice) and when I do squat I focus the movement on my glutes, I do a lot of hip thrust and deadlift variations as well as glute accessory work.. my glutes and hammies are coming along quite nicely.2 -
basically your girlfriend's relationship with her bum is hers, not yours. that sounds wrong. it's nice if you want to help, but it really isn't your 'problem' and it may be better for you not to get in the middle of it.
if she does have a specific goal she should be able to do her own research etc. and she'll probably listen better to people she interacts with herself, compared with you trying to act as the go-between.4 -
Build glutes not legs advice, from the glute expert:
https://bretcontreras.com/growing-glutes-without-growing-the-legs/
Ahh beat me to it! Also I want to add, working on glute activation is very important. If she is squatting and quad dominant she may have to retrain herself to focus on the mind muscle connection and use the glute muscles to lift the weight and thrust at the top. I am bulking right now and I actually don't squat super heavy (not by choice) and when I do squat I focus the movement on my glutes, I do a lot of hip thrust and deadlift variations as well as glute accessory work.. my glutes and hammies are coming along quite nicely.
Somehow I edited out what you quoted when I tried to add the suggestion to get Strong Curves!1 -
Strong Curves- the author, Bret Contreras, is the ultimate *kitten* man. He's obsessed with butts lol Google a post in his blog where he explains exercises that target the glutes but don't increase leg mass.
My boyfriend noticed improvement in my booty when I was just two days into the program.1 -
Also, it's wonderful that you love her and are attracted to her just the way she is.
Tell her all the time how much you love her body. Some women are never lucky enough to have a partner who honestly thinks their body is gorgeous. My boyfriend said my weight was a deal breaker. I love him, but it hurts.
Bret's Glute Activation Exercises:
Bridges (double and single leg)
Lying hip abduction
Clams
Bird dogs
Donkey kicks
Tell her to do a few sets of these on days when she isn't doing a Strong Curves workout because it wakes the glutes up and turns them on. The more awake they are, the harder they work, and the better they look.
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Has she tried hip thrusts? I second anything Brett Contreras puts out!!! I have always had a flat backside, since doing strong curves and especially hip thrusts I have developed a booty. Definitely worth checking out!
These are some before and afters: https://bretcontreras.com/testimonials/0 -
Yeah, everything about Strong Curves.
I did some of Bret's lifts from the program. You can see in my profile pic I definitely changed the shape of my butt. My legs got bigger but I also bulked and those are...just my legs. I also didn't listen to the advice he gives linked above about not growing the quads/hamstrings0 -
canadianlbs wrote: »basically your girlfriend's relationship with her bum is hers, not yours. that sounds wrong. it's nice if you want to help, but it really isn't your 'problem' and it may be better for you not to get in the middle of it.
if she does have a specific goal she should be able to do her own research etc. and she'll probably listen better to people she interacts with herself, compared with you trying to act as the go-between.
There is a lot of truth to this.
I would encourage you to continue to encourage her- and let her find her own path. Give her some suggestions- but ultimately she A. needs to do the research and B. needs to come to love her body no matter what it looks like.
More progress pictures- more tangible goals (better squats- higher numbers- sigh up to compete in a powerlifting meet)-maybe you two can set a goal that is more tangible that she can actual get to and see progress with- getting a better a** is a nice "goal" but ultimately it isn't measurable- and that makes it a bad goal to set.
tangible goals that have training plans attached to them and end dates are better actual goals.4 -
I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.2
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OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.
If she's preoccupied with her glutes, they're a great exercise. You could do them with her too - just don't make eye contact with any other women in the gym while doing them.
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OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.
And why not? If she wants to build a butt...hip thrust. As well as cable pull throughs and kick backs and all that good stuff. It's *kitten* legit.0 -
If she wants to build her butt she is going to have to do exercises focused on her butt.0
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OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »She wants to tone and raise her butt up but not increase upper thigh and hip look. Shes doing just below parallel back squats, dumbell lunges, leg press, knee extention machine, leg curls walking and treadmil. ...she is way more committed to lower body then i am. She just started hip trusts last two months.
Most of those exercises, while great for the legs, focus more on the quads than the glutes (except for the squat, which is among the finest of lifts; BUT, you have to be doing those right to really fire up the glutes...and be doing them heavy, with progression). She really needs to incorporate those hip thrusts (that you later say you don't see her doing them), deadlifts,etc. if she wants to meet her "goals" and agree with JoRocka...her goal seems rather smushy, it's likely going to be a continual source of frustration.
bbell1985 is right--hip thrust, pull throughs, kick backs, and I'd add deadlifts, and if needed, exchange out some of the quad-dominant accessory lifts like leg press, knee extension, leg curls...0 -
OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.
If she's preoccupied with her glutes, they're a great exercise. You could do them with her too - just don't make eye contact with any other women in the gym while doing them.
If you have enough weight on the bar- you're not looking at anyone.
Being said- I will absolutely look someone DEAD in the eye- and pretty much tell them none verbally
SEE THIS!!! YOU WANNA STARE GO AHEAD- I'M PUSHING 225 POUNDS OF IRON AROUND WITH MY EFFING VAG- GO AHEAD- STARE AT ME- I'D CRUSH YOU INTO DUST WITH THESE GLUTES- STARE YOU *kitten* GO AHEAD STARE!!!!
#noshame.
You want to look- go ahead- I'll make you uncomfortable as f*king hell.12 -
I'm very quad dominant, they are iron hard and well developed. This means that I've had to work hard to find exercises that build my glutes (naturally flat) without my quads taking over. But I found them, and they are working incredibly well. My butt is visibly different, in just a few weeks.
Weighted glute bridge (slightly different to hip thrusts)
Weighted glute kickback
Squat walk using cable machine
Kettlebell swings
Goblet squat
Plank with alternating leg lift
Curtesy lunge
Cable hip extension
Foot up split squat
In non-strength work, barre is very effective on the butt too, but it gave me knee issues so I wouldn't necessarily recommend it any more.0 -
The hip trusts i saw her doing were not really hip thrusts i dont think. That was two months ago. Dont see her doing the type in the video. What i saw was shoulders on floor and feet on bench or step stool lifting butt off ground. Similiar but told they target more the hamstrings.
I ve tried her rountine with her. I got to build up to it as she made her lower body stronger then mine (in exercises i dont usually do) and she focuses on it. I should do it with her but i like to do other things with my time in the gym. Maybe select a few and build up to her level. Hip trusts look more interesting then back squats. She loves back squats and i hate them lol. She dont enjoy upper body exercises so much but i admit i spend to much time on my upper half. I ve showed her this post and got positive response and she seems pretty motivated.0 -
OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »The hip trusts i saw her doing were not really hip thrusts i dont think. That was two months ago. Dont see her doing the type in the video. What i saw was shoulders on floor and feet on bench or step stool lifting butt off ground. Similiar but told they target more the hamstrings.
I ve tried her rountine with her. I got to build up to it as she made her lower body stronger then mine (in exercises i dont usually do) and she focuses on it. I should do it with her but i like to do other things with my time in the gym. Maybe select a few and build up to her level. Hip trusts look more interesting then back squats. She loves back squats and i hate them lol. She dont enjoy upper body exercises so much but i admit i spend to much time on my upper half. I ve showed her this post and got positive response and she seems pretty motivated.
She may have been doing glute bridges. Similar exercise but one uses a bench and one doesn't. I actually fine that I can feel my glutes more with barbell glute bridges than with hip thrusts. I think it is due to my bench height.0 -
You may be right. These are all new exercises to my eyes and i always forget the names. I Spent too many years with my home gym lol
Her upper quads do pop out of her thighs. I thinks its looks sexy on her. She going to impliment a new routine starting monday.
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OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.
If she's preoccupied with her glutes, they're a great exercise. You could do them with her too - just don't make eye contact with any other women in the gym while doing them.
If you have enough weight on the bar- you're not looking at anyone.
Being said- I will absolutely look someone DEAD in the eye- and pretty much tell them none verbally
SEE THIS!!! YOU WANNA STARE GO AHEAD- I'M PUSHING 225 POUNDS OF IRON AROUND WITH MY EFFING VAG- GO AHEAD- STARE AT ME- I'D CRUSH YOU INTO DUST WITH THESE GLUTES- STARE YOU *kitten* GO AHEAD STARE!!!!
#noshame.
You want to look- go ahead- I'll make you uncomfortable as f*king hell.
Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!! This....this is so freaking awesome I can't even stand it!
In my experience, I can glute bridge much more than I can hip thrust. I can bridge over 300lbs, and I hip thrust around 265 these days. Anyhow, I've noticed some nice development in my glutes (and I'm not genetically gifted in this area) since I began doing them a year or so ago. Squats I just don't progress as much on, and I feel like they work my thighs as well (which isn't such a bad thing).
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