Shes worried about her muscle distribution

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OrdinaryDude300
OrdinaryDude300 Posts: 51 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
My gf been steady in the gym for nearly two years. She been doing great. She developed strong legs though you could not tell by just looking at her legs in normal length shorts. Its her upper thighs and hip region where you can see the development. She was saying shes looking out of proportion. I think she' s looking great and very noticable improvement to her overall body tone. She complains her butt is still droppy but dont want leg musles like some men. Way too hard on her body image. Her upper quad muscle are very noticeable when in a high cut but not muscles above the knees. She got naturally smaller bone structure at the knees and calves and feet but healthly hip region. She wants to tone and raise her butt up but not increase upper thigh and hip look. Shes doing just below parallel back squats, dumbell lunges, leg press, knee extention machine, leg curls walking and treadmil. I cant do her leg routine completely to her level as she is way more committed to lower body then i am. She just started hip trusts last two months. Does she need to change her routine? Her body type is what it is . Shes even looked into butt implants. Now she wont do this but shes not getting enough butt results in her mind set. My job is to tell her how great she looks and to encourage her to keep up the good work. I am not knowledgable enough to help in the gym.
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  • Gimsteinn
    Gimsteinn Posts: 7,678 Member
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    Maybe try a self empowerment course or something? You say she looks great right?
    Then it's her mind that needs rewiring. Her lack of self-esteem is probably the issue.
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
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    Set her up with a personal trainer!
  • OrdinaryDude300
    OrdinaryDude300 Posts: 51 Member
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    I think she looks great yes. She dont like her butt. She wants it fuller. It was flatter before and i see progress on depth and lifting. She dont see much change. To her its her weak area. She wants more balance from knee to upper thigh so more lower quad and vmo size. She wants more shape to her calves. Shes got natural small calves. I see she has gained shape and muscle there with her calve raises and cardio. They will never be big as not in her dna. Mostly its her butt she wants to change Shes a beautiful woman head to toes. I here hip trusts are great for the butt. What about deadlifts and those exercises there you stand up and swing your leg to the side and another behind you?. See others doing this but no idea the name.
  • CafeRacer808
    CafeRacer808 Posts: 2,396 Member
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    OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »
    I think she looks great yes. She dont like her butt. She wants it fuller. It was flatter before and i see progress on depth and lifting. She dont see much change. To her its her weak area. She wants more balance from knee to upper thigh so more lower quad and vmo size. She wants more shape to her calves. Shes got natural small calves. I see she has gained shape and muscle there with her calve raises and cardio. They will never be big as not in her dna. Mostly its her butt she wants to change Shes a beautiful woman head to toes. I here hip trusts are great for the butt. What about deadlifts and those exercises there you stand up and swing your leg to the side and another behind you?. See others doing this but no idea the name.

    Perhaps you should start taking progress photos of her so that over time, she's able to see that she's making progress.
  • OrdinaryDude300
    OrdinaryDude300 Posts: 51 Member
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    She had one in the beginning for 2 months Then saw another for about a month more recently. Right now shes doing high rep on everthing. 20 to 25 reps. 20 squats, lunges per side leg press entire ball of wax. I tried it and frankly i cant complete It to these 20 reps, its too exhausing lol. Her cardio fitness and lower bidy strength is very good right now. Obviously better then mine so she been very dedicated. Is it not better she goes with 8 to 10 reps and heavy to build her butt and lift?
  • sarko15
    sarko15 Posts: 330 Member
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    Unfortunately, we all have "problem areas." We can work work work toward "fixing" them, but no matter how toned or lean or whatever they get, we're still going to see them as a problem area. We can't win, and that seems like what she's thinking right now. Good for you for being supportive, I don't know how many threads I've seen that involve unsupportive and straight up mean partners.

    As for the reps question, yes, in my opinion high weight lower reps is better. I'd suggest even fewer than 10 reps--I typically do about 5 sets of 6. Women tend to worry about getting bulk and so we often use a light af weight for more reps which really doesn't help gain much strength at all.

    I've not been that focused on body recomposition but I know it's definitely not possible to spot train so if she wants a bigger booty she might have to deal with thicker thighs. I don't think she has to worry about gaining "thunder thighs." Very few of us have perfect proportions, so in order to get one thing you often have to compromise on another.

    Keep supporting her, but realize there's only so much you can do.
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    Build glutes not legs advice, from the glute expert:
    https://bretcontreras.com/growing-glutes-without-growing-the-legs/

    Ahh beat me to it! Also I want to add, working on glute activation is very important. If she is squatting and quad dominant she may have to retrain herself to focus on the mind muscle connection and use the glute muscles to lift the weight and thrust at the top. I am bulking right now and I actually don't squat super heavy (not by choice) and when I do squat I focus the movement on my glutes, I do a lot of hip thrust and deadlift variations as well as glute accessory work.. my glutes and hammies are coming along quite nicely.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    basically your girlfriend's relationship with her bum is hers, not yours. that sounds wrong. it's nice if you want to help, but it really isn't your 'problem' and it may be better for you not to get in the middle of it.

    if she does have a specific goal she should be able to do her own research etc. and she'll probably listen better to people she interacts with herself, compared with you trying to act as the go-between.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    sardelsa wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Build glutes not legs advice, from the glute expert:
    https://bretcontreras.com/growing-glutes-without-growing-the-legs/

    Ahh beat me to it! Also I want to add, working on glute activation is very important. If she is squatting and quad dominant she may have to retrain herself to focus on the mind muscle connection and use the glute muscles to lift the weight and thrust at the top. I am bulking right now and I actually don't squat super heavy (not by choice) and when I do squat I focus the movement on my glutes, I do a lot of hip thrust and deadlift variations as well as glute accessory work.. my glutes and hammies are coming along quite nicely.

    Somehow I edited out what you quoted when I tried to add the suggestion to get Strong Curves!
  • mila_lova
    mila_lova Posts: 163 Member
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    Strong Curves- the author, Bret Contreras, is the ultimate *kitten* man. He's obsessed with butts lol Google a post in his blog where he explains exercises that target the glutes but don't increase leg mass.

    My boyfriend noticed improvement in my booty when I was just two days into the program.
  • mila_lova
    mila_lova Posts: 163 Member
    edited December 2016
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    Also, it's wonderful that you love her and are attracted to her just the way she is.

    Tell her all the time how much you love her body. Some women are never lucky enough to have a partner who honestly thinks their body is gorgeous. My boyfriend said my weight was a deal breaker. I love him, but it hurts.

    Bret's Glute Activation Exercises:
    Bridges (double and single leg)
    Lying hip abduction
    Clams
    Bird dogs
    Donkey kicks

    Tell her to do a few sets of these on days when she isn't doing a Strong Curves workout because it wakes the glutes up and turns them on. The more awake they are, the harder they work, and the better they look.
  • Kilika735
    Kilika735 Posts: 63 Member
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    Has she tried hip thrusts? I second anything Brett Contreras puts out!!! I have always had a flat backside, since doing strong curves and especially hip thrusts I have developed a booty. Definitely worth checking out!

    These are some before and afters: https://bretcontreras.com/testimonials/
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    Yeah, everything about Strong Curves.

    I did some of Bret's lifts from the program. You can see in my profile pic I definitely changed the shape of my butt. My legs got bigger but I also bulked and those are...just my legs. I also didn't listen to the advice he gives linked above about not growing the quads/hamstrings
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    canadianlbs wrote: »
    basically your girlfriend's relationship with her bum is hers, not yours. that sounds wrong. it's nice if you want to help, but it really isn't your 'problem' and it may be better for you not to get in the middle of it.

    if she does have a specific goal she should be able to do her own research etc. and she'll probably listen better to people she interacts with herself, compared with you trying to act as the go-between.

    There is a lot of truth to this.

    I would encourage you to continue to encourage her- and let her find her own path. Give her some suggestions- but ultimately she A. needs to do the research and B. needs to come to love her body no matter what it looks like.

    More progress pictures- more tangible goals (better squats- higher numbers- sigh up to compete in a powerlifting meet)-maybe you two can set a goal that is more tangible that she can actual get to and see progress with- getting a better a** is a nice "goal" but ultimately it isn't measurable- and that makes it a bad goal to set.

    tangible goals that have training plans attached to them and end dates are better actual goals.
  • OrdinaryDude300
    OrdinaryDude300 Posts: 51 Member
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    I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
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    OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »
    I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.

    If she's preoccupied with her glutes, they're a great exercise. You could do them with her too - just don't make eye contact with any other women in the gym while doing them. :D

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  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »
    I told her about looking up strong curves. I ll leave the rest in hers hands but i will in courage her. She asks me about her butt when i compliment her on her general body accomplishments. Don t really see her doing hip thrusts.

    And why not? If she wants to build a butt...hip thrust. As well as cable pull throughs and kick backs and all that good stuff. It's *kitten* legit.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    If she wants to build her butt she is going to have to do exercises focused on her butt.
  • CarlydogsMom
    CarlydogsMom Posts: 645 Member
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    OrdinaryDude300 wrote: »
    She wants to tone and raise her butt up but not increase upper thigh and hip look. Shes doing just below parallel back squats, dumbell lunges, leg press, knee extention machine, leg curls walking and treadmil. ...she is way more committed to lower body then i am. She just started hip trusts last two months.

    Most of those exercises, while great for the legs, focus more on the quads than the glutes (except for the squat, which is among the finest of lifts; BUT, you have to be doing those right to really fire up the glutes...and be doing them heavy, with progression). She really needs to incorporate those hip thrusts (that you later say you don't see her doing them), deadlifts,etc. if she wants to meet her "goals" and agree with JoRocka...her goal seems rather smushy, it's likely going to be a continual source of frustration.

    bbell1985 is right--hip thrust, pull throughs, kick backs, and I'd add deadlifts, and if needed, exchange out some of the quad-dominant accessory lifts like leg press, knee extension, leg curls...

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