Story of 2012....and I let it slip away

I want to be honest. Otherwise I can't get over this baggage I have. My weight issues are beyond fat stored in my body but also emotional demons that springs at the most unlikely time. Below is the post I made in 2012. A one year journey with MFP, I lost 23 kilos. I made many wonderful motivating friends. I logged in religiously and pushed each other. I posted the images below to share my achievement in 2012.
nonafit wrote: »
Joined MFP 11 months ago. Lost a total of 23 kilos (about 50 pounds). And here it got me to! I am not complaining! :bigsmile:

Oct11_Sept12.jpg
nonafit wrote: »
Impact on my face from weight loss.

The first was taken in 2010. At the height of my obesity. I have smile plastered on my face but I was so disgusted with myself that as huge and tall I was; I always pull a disappearing act when come to photo shots. This picture was not possible if I was not attending event back then.
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That's me 2 weeks after starting with MFP in October 2011. That was about 5 months ago. I don't know what's with that smile. Its annoying!!
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My double chin beginning to become single and lonely. :bigsmile: Taken early February 2012. 4 months after the journey began.
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My chin is appearing. Taken beginning of March 2012.
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And this one is taken today. I have chin and cheek bones!!! Yay!!!! I still don't like that smile though. I like this one better :bigsmile:
th_March2012_b.jpg?t=1332771983

I feel really good with the transformation bring me closer and closer to my old self. Its just the beginning of the journey though...there is still long way to go.


A few things happened at the end of my first year of healthy lifestyle journey. I hit a long plateau. I pushed my body too hard on endurance activities. Emotionally it made me feel so good that I neglected the physical damages it was doing to my body. I did not treat my body well and with respect.

In the second year of my journey, in the 1st 6 months:
1. I did a 12 hour walk while suffering from food poisoning and diarrhea, the last 2 laps I was crawling before I stopped
2. 2 months later, I did a 12 hour endurance run climbing up a hill - slipped and injured but I pushed till I completed
3. 2 months after the above, I climbed Mount Kinabalu in heavy rain which took me about 9 hours to reach the 1st base.

With all the above endurance activity and other fitness regime in between, I injured my left knee and ankle bad enough that I could not walk more than 10 minutes pain free. I slowly stopped working out. But I still ate like how I use to when I was working out rigorously. I stopped logging in because I didn't want my friends to see my calories in are always exceeding my calories out.

My weight started to pile up. I didn't take the action needed to recover from my injury. I used the injury as an excuse to be lazy and start eating all the food that I had avoided for the past one year. The ones that made me gained weight in the first place. I had gained almost 14 kilos. I am not proud of myself. It's so easy to fall back, allowing self doubt and self pity. I am angry over my lack of self control which makes me turn to food unknowingly.

Anyway I am back. Hoping this is a lesson that I will not forget. A lesson that will remind me how easy to slip of the wagon when I was really riding on the high note.

I am 98 kilos now and with my waist measuring at 42 inches. There I bare myself. I am wearing gunny sacks. I can't fit into the clothes that I can fit in about 2 years ago. I know this is a familiar story for many.

I need my friends that I had made and lost and new ones whom can motivate and support me. If you are still reading the post to this point..you are definitely one of them. Thank you for listening.

Replies

  • nonafit
    nonafit Posts: 582 Member
    Yup that's what I am doing.
  • woznube7
    woznube7 Posts: 537 Member
    You are human! You are strong! You are beautiful! You can do this! Thank you for being vulnerable and real. This is something I can relate too ALL too well. By getting back onto MFP, being aware, etc... you're already taking steps forward. I am proud of you! You can do this. You will do this! Just take little steps while starting out... learn to walk again! @nonafit
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    I have lost, gained, lost, gained, and lost again... the same 50 pounds! It's definitely frustrating. Acknowledging and admitting you've got to get it under control *before* gaining it all back is admirable, in my opinion. You can do this! :)
  • amac1072
    amac1072 Posts: 11 Member
    edited December 2016
    Christmas Eve, 2008--6 months after baby #2--I had had enough. By May 2009, I dropped almost 30 lbs, was running, in the best shape of my life at age 36! Then in fall 2011--depression hit hard. No exercise, lots of food. I've spent the last 5 years gaining 20 pounds and at least 3 sizes. And I'm DONE. I need to get my life together. Let's DO THIS. :D
  • Llamapants86
    Llamapants86 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Welcome back, I know this isn't my first trip back to MFP! Good luck.
  • catsterpatch
    catsterpatch Posts: 1 Member
    edited December 2016
    Good for you!