Dilemma, should I be her maid of honour?

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anothergirlw12
anothergirlw12 Posts: 2 Member
in Chit-Chat
I agreed to be my best friend, G's maid of honour on her wedding next month, when she got engaged. In late November I went on a business trip to our firm's offices in another city. I was going to leave my dog with the vet for boarding as usual but G asked me to hire her to do it because she's unemployed and she said that she would go to my house daily and walk and feed Mickey.

I called G every few days and she told me Mickey was doing great and that she was going to my house every day and taking him to the park etc. When I got home a month later I found that Mickey had starved to death and G admitted that her fiance took her on a trip during that time.

Right now I cannot even stand to talk to G and it is taking me a lot of willpower not to go over to her flat and scream at her, but I don't know if it's wrong of me to back out at the last minute. I haven't told our mutual friends about this so here I am, reaching out on an internet forum, asking objective people what the proper etiquette here is....
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Replies

  • brandisonfire
    brandisonfire Posts: 17 Member
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    As much as I am all for being a good person and friend, that is simply unacceptable. If she was unable to care for your dog, she should have been honest and told you the situation and taken the dog to the boarding facility like you had originally planned. A good friend would have never lied to you and let your pet, which to me is a member of my family to suffer like that. The last thing I would do is anything nice for her, and as the person above me mentioned she needs to be charged with animal cruelty. There is simply no reason in the world your dog had mto die... I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • RoToQ
    RoToQ Posts: 93 Member
    edited December 2016
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    Set her on fire and consider the question: "Should I go to her funeral?"

    Serious answer: No. This woman killed your dog. She knew it was in a house alone with no-one to feed it, and instead of being honest with you, or even being dishonest and getting someone else to feed it and lie about it, she let it starve to death. No ****ing way. You don't need 'friends' like that in your life.
  • mskimee
    mskimee Posts: 228 Member
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    anothergirlw12 wrote: »
    I agreed to be my best friend, G's maid of honour on her wedding next month, when she got engaged. In late November I went on a business trip to our firm's offices in another city. I was going to leave my dog with the vet for boarding as usual but G asked me to hire her to do it because she's unemployed and she said that she would go to my house daily and walk and feed Mickey.

    I called G every few days and she told me Mickey was doing great and that she was going to my house every day     and taking him to the park etc. When I got home a month later I found that Mickey had starved to death and G admitted that her fiance took her on a trip during that time.

    Right now I cannot even stand to talk to G and it is taking me a lot of willpower not to go over to her flat and scream at her, but I don't know if it's wrong of me to back out at the last minute. I haven't told our mutual friends about this so here I am, reaching out on an internet forum, asking objective people what the proper etiquette here is....

    Op, she ASKED you to hire her as she was unemployed (please tell us you didn't pay her!!), which you did. Then after she ASKED you to hire her, she *kitten* off on a trip. There were so many options: 1) Postpone the trip, I'm sure her fiance knew she was dog sitting 2) Ask someone else to look in on Mickey 3) tell you her plans had changed and ask you to find alternative arrangements 4) look into local animal sitting services and pay someone else to look in on Mickey. Even if she thought he'd survive being left alone, she left him knowing he'd have nothing and would be in pain and distress.

    Sorry for your loss OP. I'll be honest, if that was my "friend" I'd have nothing to do with her, let alone her wedding and if people asked why I'd be honest with them and not try to protect her. Tell your close friends who know you both and get their opinion. I bet they'll say the same.
  • dc8066
    dc8066 Posts: 1,439 Member
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    Unbelievable, the proper thing would be to sue for damages and cut any ties with your 'friend'. What is wrong with you?!
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    My dogs are my children.. Hurt my dogs there is a price to pay even if its my own family let alone a so called "friend"..

    Lastly, this has to be some sort of internet joke right and not a real life scenario?
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    OP--just in case this isn't a troll thread, what kind of "friend" do you call this? I would quietly talk to her, and tell her since she lied and killed your dog, that you just can't be in her wedding. If she gets in a snit--too bad. You don't need "friends" like her. Get on with your life. There are better people out there.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
    edited December 2016
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    If this isn't a troll thread, because I can't see how this is even a question, I'd be telling her to rot in hell and reporting her to the SPCA. Then I'd see that unspeakable hell rained down upon her. She's a revolting human being.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I just don't even get how this is a question. If it is. It shouldn't be "should i be get maid of honor?" It should be "should i set her on fire, or fit her for concrete boots?"

    Op how can you even think that still acknowledging her ongoing existence is an option?
  • jmp463
    jmp463 Posts: 266 Member
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    The post is either fake or you really are a confused person - one for not knowing what to do and two asking on a DIET website for advice. Either way - not good.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    Screw that. If this post is real, OP...wake up!!! Someone killed your dog!!!! WHY THE *kitten* would you even entertain the idea of keeping her friendship, let alone being in her wedding. She's lucky you didn't beat the crap out of her, and her *kitten* fiancé.

    I wouldn't even back out. Wait till the last day, then go somewhere tropical, and don't say a word.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    RoToQ wrote: »
    Set her on fire and consider the question: "Should I go to her funeral?"

    Serious answer: No. This woman killed your dog. She knew it was in a house alone with no-one to feed it, and instead of being honest with you, or even being dishonest and getting someone else to feed it and lie about it, she let it starve to death. No ****ing way. You don't need 'friends' like that in your life.

    I agree 100%
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Wedding is the biggest event in someone's life, at least for women. If you are pulling out, you should tell her now and cut ties.

    It's your fault for putting your dog at risk and trusting a flaky friend. We traveled once and a friend offered to feed the cat and the woman never showed up. Fortunately, it was just a couple days and as a backup my wife had asked my FIL to come check in and he fed the cat.

    Take responsibility. You put your dog in danger. Never trust anyone in life. Not even friends.

    It's not her fault if her friend is an *kitten* dog killer. She couldn't have known that. But I agree about the trust issue...and I too live by the motto : TRUST NOONE!
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
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    I can't even compose the right comment for this. It might be a troll thread so I won't waste the energy trying.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    There is so many holes in this story .

    1) Do people really leave their dogs alone in the home for a month with out going home on weekends and say this because the trip was in the same state and could have worked out arrangement with employer to go home on weekends.

    2) Don't people know if their human best friend is trust worthy (will always be on time and show up when needed)? My best friend would never accept money from me for helping me out in a time of need.

    3) OP does not seem overly sad about losing her dog, she seems more worried about proper etiquette here..

    This is just me, but I am a bit older and have been through some issues with pet sitting etc.. I would be taking responsibility for what happened and I would be mourning the loss of my family pet, for me that would be the best friend that I lost, not an untrustworthy so called "best friend" that obviously is not a real best friend and is off in the head..

    this is just my 2 cents worth, things just seem really off about this entire story.

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