Sick and tired of feeling bad.
melroy123
Posts: 3 Member
I never thought I would be tired if eating but after this holiday that is all I did. I was gonna wait until the New Years resolutions came around but I just feel terrible. I have gained 60+ pounds since I got married. I have high blood pressure, borderline diabetic, cholesterol is becoming high , severe heartburn, and sleeping issues. I could be a candidate for weight loss surgery but my insurance doesn't cover it. I know what to do. I have done it before. I feel great when I eat better and exercise. Why do I have such a struggle with staying with it?? I am 46 and it is so much harder to lose that weight. I am going with lower carb no sugar no processed foods. Please anybody that would have tips or just wanting to encourage each other I'm in need of you
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Replies
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you sound like me when i read your post i thought i was looking into a mirror i have struggle with weight i have lost it put it on i now have diebetes and if i dont change my life my old age is not going a long one or a health one. im not waiting for new year the time is now. ive just joined this site again and looking for people to keep me on track. as i will help do the same to them.4
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I hear you girl and I'm right there with you! You've taken a step posting here so keep going!3
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I hope we can all help each other with this food addiction!!! It is such a struggle day to day. It has to get better!! You know food addiction is almost worse then drugs or alcohol..... you have to have food to live so how hard is that!!!! I need to eat to live not live to eat!!! This has been a rough day. Terrible headaches and fatigue but this will pass. We just need to encourage each other!!0
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I didn't really eat that much over the holiday but I have over eaten the last four months to the point of gaining back the 25 lbs I just lost earlier this year. I just kept eating out fast food and got lazy at home overeating.0
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Keep focussed on what you CAN have, not on what you can't...
My best starting point was focussing on having my 5-a-day of fruit and veg and actually made them 0 Cal in my diary (only for the recommended portions, anything more is counted) so that I was encouraged to have those in preference to something less healthy...
Another one is to work out how many calories you've saved by making a change - eg, you used to have two fried eggs on two slices of what bread (550(ish) calories) switched to two poached eggs on low calorie bread (250(ish) calories) is a saving of about 300 calories
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A wild guess would be going all out and do a lot more than is necessary and effective, maybe even trying the impossible?I know what to do. I have done it before. I feel great when I eat better and exercise. Why do I have such a struggle with staying with it??
Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal.I am going with lower carb no sugar no processed foods.
Age is not in itself what makes it more difficult to lose weight. Time has just made bad habits stick. On the other hand, as we get older, we get less susceptible to scams and become more patient, so it evens out.I am 46 and it is so much harder to lose that weight. Please anybody that would have tips
We need enough food, but not too much. Food is good, and used right it is pleasurable and healthy. But it can be abused just like drugs and alcohol can. We can become addicted to lots of things, even to feeling miserable. I know, I have been there.food addiction!!! You know food addiction is almost worse then drugs or alcohol..... you have to have food to live so how hard is that!!!! I need to eat to live not live to eat!!!
Yes, it will get better, if you don't make it a battle. Work with yourself, not against yourself.It is such a struggle day to day. It has to get better!! This has been a rough day. Terrible headaches and fatigue but this will pass. We just need to encourage each other!!3 -
This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure
Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have
Eating what you want isn't the same as eating as much of it as you want. You could fit those things into your allowance, if you...erm...make allowances for them.3 -
Small steps.
1. Log everything even if you overeat.
2. ABSOLUTELY be kind to yourself. You mess up, get up, dust off and move forward, no beating yourself up as it's extremely unproductive
3. Celebrate a clean meal, an exercise session anything that moves your life in a positive direction.
4. Keep in mind that in a month it will get easier and new/better habits start to cement themselves.4 -
The process of figuring out what you want, includes taking all those things into consideration.This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have1 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have
Eating what you want isn't the same as eating as much of it as you want. You could fit those things into your allowance, if you...erm...make allowances for them.
Bingo!0 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have
Eating what you want isn't the same as eating as much of it as you want. You could fit those things into your allowance, if you...erm...make allowances for them.
I agree with you in principal but if you have $100 a week and are struggling to make that work, I wouldn't recommend someone spending $50 in the first few days or going to an expensive shop if you excuse the analagy
That's fine if it suits you, but it doesn't make what @kommodevaran said an oxymoron or mean that someone can't eat what they want.2 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have
Eating what you want isn't the same as eating as much of it as you want. You could fit those things into your allowance, if you...erm...make allowances for them.
I agree with you in principal but if you have $100 a week and are struggling to make that work, I wouldn't recommend someone spending $50 in the first few days or going to an expensive shop if you excuse the analagy
But spending calories on food items that help people not feel deprived of things they love is a HUGE factor in what makes this whole process sustainable for a lot of people.2 -
Could have been written by me! I too am starting logging again today! Lost a good amount of weight 2 years ago for my son's wedding. Have gained too much of it back. And I am so very tired, too exhausted to work out. I need to push past that exhaustion and start moving again. I want to feel good and feel good about myself again!2
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I never thought I would be tired if eating but after this holiday that is all I did. I was gonna wait until the New Years resolutions came around but I just feel terrible. I have gained 60+ pounds since I got married. I have high blood pressure, borderline diabetic, cholesterol is becoming high , severe heartburn, and sleeping issues. I could be a candidate for weight loss surgery but my insurance doesn't cover it. I know what to do. I have done it before. I feel great when I eat better and exercise. Why do I have such a struggle with staying with it?? I am 46 and it is so much harder to lose that weight. I am going with lower carb no sugar no processed foods. Please anybody that would have tips or just wanting to encourage each other I'm in need of you
Hi! I've been there many times (I'm 41), and was in that yo-yo cycle for over 20 years. My guess is that you like carbs, sugar, and processed foods? I'm also going to go out on a limb and say you've tried the low carb, low sugar thing at least three times already and have never been able to stick to it. If so, it's probably not going to work this time either. Maybe try something different this time? Find out what your calories should be at to lose each week and then figure out what you can eat within that calorie range. Foods you like that won't make you feel deprived.
Some great websites (and cookbooks) to check out for ideas are Skinnytaste.com and Hungrygirl.com. I've never tried a recipe from Skinnytaste that I didn't like. Also, there are tons of low calorie snacks to eat that can fit into any meal plan and meet the needs of a sweet tooth. My go-to right now is 1 salted rice cake, with one serving (12 grams) of PB2 and then topped with 10 grams (yes, weigh everything out) of mini semi-sweet chocolate chips. Great snack or dessert for only 127 calories! For a nice splurge the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger at Wendy's comes in just under 400 calories.
You CAN eat the things you love you just need to do a little research and planning. Best of luck to you!
ETA: Hah!!! I just realized I'm only 40. I'll be 41 in 4 days - nice to know I'm feeling comfortable with that.4 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »CurlyCockney wrote: »This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have
Eating what you want isn't the same as eating as much of it as you want. You could fit those things into your allowance, if you...erm...make allowances for them.
I agree with you in principal but if you have $100 a week and are struggling to make that work, I wouldn't recommend someone spending $50 in the first few days or going to an expensive shop if you excuse the analagy
But spending calories on food items that help people not feel deprived of things they love is a HUGE factor in what makes this whole process sustainable for a lot of people.
Well the op also has high blood pressure, high cholesterol and severe heartburn so maybe spending calories wisely could help at the moment. Otherwise you are correct
Losing weight can help alleviate all those issues, and eating what she enjoys can help OP to achieve the calorie deficit needed to lose weight. OP is already struggling to stay on track, and there's no point in adding more food complications to her plan.6 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »snickerscharlie wrote: »CurlyCockney wrote: »This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have
Eating what you want isn't the same as eating as much of it as you want. You could fit those things into your allowance, if you...erm...make allowances for them.
I agree with you in principal but if you have $100 a week and are struggling to make that work, I wouldn't recommend someone spending $50 in the first few days or going to an expensive shop if you excuse the analagy
But spending calories on food items that help people not feel deprived of things they love is a HUGE factor in what makes this whole process sustainable for a lot of people.
Well the op also has high blood pressure, high cholesterol and severe heartburn so maybe spending calories wisely could help at the moment. Otherwise you are correct
Losing weight can help alleviate all those issues, and eating what she enjoys can help OP to achieve the calorie deficit needed to lose weight. OP is already struggling to stay on track, and there's no point in adding more food complications to her plan.
^^^This.0 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »snickerscharlie wrote: »CurlyCockney wrote: »This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron? "Or you could eat whatever you want, log it, and hit your calorie goal."
Sugar and processed foods are generally higher in calories. Processed food generally has more salt and the op has high blood pressure Advising people to eat what they want and and hit your calorie goal sounds great - I want to eat a burger, bolognese and chicken wings but I can't because it won't fit the allowance I have
Eating what you want isn't the same as eating as much of it as you want. You could fit those things into your allowance, if you...erm...make allowances for them.
I agree with you in principal but if you have $100 a week and are struggling to make that work, I wouldn't recommend someone spending $50 in the first few days or going to an expensive shop if you excuse the analagy
But spending calories on food items that help people not feel deprived of things they love is a HUGE factor in what makes this whole process sustainable for a lot of people.
Well the op also has high blood pressure, high cholesterol and severe heartburn so maybe spending calories wisely could help at the moment. Otherwise you are correct
Losing weight can help alleviate all those issues, and eating what she enjoys can help OP to achieve the calorie deficit needed to lose weight. OP is already struggling to stay on track, and there's no point in adding more food complications to her plan.
*insightful*
I think so too! 0 -
Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!2
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I never thought I would be tired if eating but after this holiday that is all I did. I was gonna wait until the New Years resolutions came around but I just feel terrible. I have gained 60+ pounds since I got married. I have high blood pressure, borderline diabetic, cholesterol is becoming high , severe heartburn, and sleeping issues. I could be a candidate for weight loss surgery but my insurance doesn't cover it. I know what to do. I have done it before. I feel great when I eat better and exercise. Why do I have such a struggle with staying with it?? I am 46 and it is so much harder to lose that weight. I am going with lower carb no sugar no processed foods. Please anybody that would have tips or just wanting to encourage each other I'm in need of you
Hi! I've been there many times (I'm 41), and was in that yo-yo cycle for over 20 years. My guess is that you like carbs, sugar, and processed foods? I'm also going to go out on a limb and say you've tried the low carb, low sugar thing at least three times already and have never been able to stick to it. If so, it's probably not going to work this time either. Maybe try something different this time? Find out what your calories should be at to lose each week and then figure out what you can eat within that calorie range. Foods you like that won't make you feel deprived.
Some great websites (and cookbooks) to check out for ideas are Skinnytaste.com and Hungrygirl.com. I've never tried a recipe from Skinnytaste that I didn't like. Also, there are tons of low calorie snacks to eat that can fit into any meal plan and meet the needs of a sweet tooth. My go-to right now is 1 salted rice cake, with one serving (12 grams) of PB2 and then topped with 10 grams (yes, weigh everything out) of mini semi-sweet chocolate chips. Great snack or dessert for only 127 calories! For a nice splurge the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger at Wendy's comes in just under 400 calories.
You CAN eat the things you love you just need to do a little research and planning. Best of luck to you!
ETA: Hah!!! I just realized I'm only 40. I'll be 41 in 4 days - nice to know I'm feeling comfortable with that.
This is great advice. OP preplanning is key. Find a balance of foods that you can eat within a reasonable calorie deficit, foods that help you meet nutritional goals (macro and micro nutrients), foods that satiate you (fill you up) and foods that you enjoy so you don't feel like this is a miserable process. Spend some time logging the foods you currently eat to see how they fill your day up and then look for areas to make changes. I've found that if I focus on what I want to add (more lean protein, more vegetables, more whole grains, more exercise, more sleep) then I can still fit the foods I love in without them becoming the focal point of my diet, which of course is what people mean you can still eat the foods you love and lose weight.
Good luck!1 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!
THIS - It works for some people but not for everyone. I'm a fan
Obviously it can be challenging if you're in a different country since the brands can be different. But if I see someone had something for dinner but I think it was a recipe they manually did, I'll send them a message and ask about it. I would hope others would do the same to me.1 -
Best advice I have is meal prep and a food scale. It's difficult to make wise food choices when we are starving. I plan ahead and know what I will eat for each meal all week. I also pre-log my food. I find this helps me manage my calorie spending.
It took me about 2 weeks to settle into a routine, but now a few months in it just comes a second nature.
Best of Luck!!!2 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!
THIS - It works for some people but not for everyone. I'm a fan
Obviously it can be challenging if you're in a different country since the brands can be different. But if I see someone had something for dinner but I think it was a recipe they manually did, I'll send them a message and ask about it. I would hope others would do the same to me.
Well that is one side - there is also the guilt side. The idea that someone can see what you are eating makes you more careful but can also be stressful for some people. Why it pays to have a really good circle of friends on here I find
That is true. But show me a person that eats nothing but healthy stuff 24/7. I see so many people talk about cheat meals. Some people allow one a week, some people do whole cheat days, one a week. We are all on MFP for a reason. Who are we to judge because someone had a whopper with cheese for lunch? If someone wants to make a negative comment at me because I had a slice of cheesecake, then I'll just remove them. I won't let what someone thinks of my eating habits stress me out. You are doing this for you, not for everyone else. Just my $.02. 1 -
I was there. In 2012 I began my journey. I was 285 lbs, pre-hypertensive, and always felt lousy. I lost 120 lbs in the course of a year and have never felt better. Make up your mind now that you're going to do this for yourself and nothing will be able to stop you!1
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!
THIS - It works for some people but not for everyone. I'm a fan
Obviously it can be challenging if you're in a different country since the brands can be different. But if I see someone had something for dinner but I think it was a recipe they manually did, I'll send them a message and ask about it. I would hope others would do the same to me.
Well that is one side - there is also the guilt side. The idea that someone can see what you are eating makes you more careful but can also be stressful for some people. Why it pays to have a really good circle of friends on here I find
That is true. But show me a person that eats nothing but healthy stuff 24/7. I see so many people talk about cheat meals. Some people allow one a week, some people do whole cheat days, one a week. We are all on MFP for a reason. Who are we to judge because someone had a whopper with cheese for lunch? If someone wants to make a negative comment at me because I had a slice of cheesecake, then I'll just remove them. I won't let what someone thinks of my eating habits stress me out. You are doing this for you, not for everyone else. Just my $.02.
Great attitude! Suggesting that someone should feel guilty because of something others might see in their food diary isn't exactly a supportive mindset, especially on a site where so many people already struggle with disordered eating or feelings of negativity around their food choices.! Not everyone is here to smash it at the gym. Many people just want to lose weight to improve their overall health and quality of life and suggesting that they should feel guilty over what they chose to eat or have to make up for it the next day isn't going to help them at all.
When I first started I often perished the diaries of successful members to see how they were able to fit delicious foods in as well as meet their goals. I miss one of my old friends who used to make the most amazing homemade ice cream recipes even while losing >100 lbs!1 -
kschwab0203 wrote: »Best advice I have is meal prep and a food scale. It's difficult to make wise food choices when we are starving. I plan ahead and know what I will eat for each meal all week. I also pre-log my food. I find this helps me manage my calorie spending.
It took me about 2 weeks to settle into a routine, but now a few months in it just comes a second nature.
Best of Luck!!!
I do this too. Tomorrow I'll go into MFP and go forward to Monday's food log day. I'll fill in the whole day with meals that I'll look forward to (things I've eaten before and I know I love or recipes/snacks I've been wanting to try). I'll tweak it until it fits the calories limits I need for that day. I'll shop over the weekend and make the recipes ahead of time. Then, I'll eat that same day for two weeks. This gives me two weeks free from meal planning and stressing about calories. If an unexpected dinner or lunch outing pops up I either say no thanks or I change things around for that day. If I screw that day up at the unexpected lunch/dinner and eat way over what I planned, I just go back to my planned meals/snacks that are already laid out and prepared for the following day.0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!
THIS - It works for some people but not for everyone. I'm a fan
Obviously it can be challenging if you're in a different country since the brands can be different. But if I see someone had something for dinner but I think it was a recipe they manually did, I'll send them a message and ask about it. I would hope others would do the same to me.
Well that is one side - there is also the guilt side. The idea that someone can see what you are eating makes you more careful but can also be stressful for some people. Why it pays to have a really good circle of friends on here I find
That is true. But show me a person that eats nothing but healthy stuff 24/7. I see so many people talk about cheat meals. Some people allow one a week, some people do whole cheat days, one a week. We are all on MFP for a reason. Who are we to judge because someone had a whopper with cheese for lunch? If someone wants to make a negative comment at me because I had a slice of cheesecake, then I'll just remove them. I won't let what someone thinks of my eating habits stress me out. You are doing this for you, not for everyone else. Just my $.02.
Thanks for the 2 cents lol. Its not quite what I was driving at, I mean if I see all my mates smashing their allowance and hitting the gym and I am over that day it can be a hard pill to swallow. For me however I kind of like it and know it is ok if I go over - cos next day it pushes me to make sure I hit the green and the gym
But it's ok to be over once in a while. If you see your friends are kicking butt at the gym and you were over that day, use that as motivation, not discouraging. I think that is where a lot of people go wrong. I will take a day of being over and try to laugh about it. Make a status that says something like "my stomach was a bottomless pit today." We are our worst critic. I know I am. We just need to stop being so hard on ourselves.0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!
THIS - It works for some people but not for everyone. I'm a fan
Obviously it can be challenging if you're in a different country since the brands can be different. But if I see someone had something for dinner but I think it was a recipe they manually did, I'll send them a message and ask about it. I would hope others would do the same to me.
Well that is one side - there is also the guilt side. The idea that someone can see what you are eating makes you more careful but can also be stressful for some people. Why it pays to have a really good circle of friends on here I find
I think guilt in weight management is a poor overall strategy. Leads to shame and people kicking themselves for being a failure because they ate something "bad." How many posts do we see where OP is beating themselves up because they failed? And when asked, they ate a cookie that took them 100 calories over their goal. Which still leaves them in a calorie deficit for the day. Extremes in dieting mindset are a slippery slope.0 -
I never thought I would be tired if eating but after this holiday that is all I did. I was gonna wait until the New Years resolutions came around but I just feel terrible. I have gained 60+ pounds since I got married. I have high blood pressure, borderline diabetic, cholesterol is becoming high , severe heartburn, and sleeping issues. I could be a candidate for weight loss surgery but my insurance doesn't cover it. I know what to do. I have done it before. I feel great when I eat better and exercise. Why do I have such a struggle with staying with it?? I am 46 and it is so much harder to lose that weight. I am going with lower carb no sugar no processed foods. Please anybody that would have tips or just wanting to encourage each other I'm in need of you
I can get a sense of your frustration. I am going to tell you what works for me. Log everything you eat for a week, without making changes. See what's going on. What are you over consuming? What are you missing (protein, fibre, vitamins, minerals)? How can you adjust what you are eating to meet your nutritional needs? How can you reduce calories, within reason, while meeting those needs? Is there physical activity you can add that you enjoy? Focus in what you are gaining (health, fitness) rather than what you are losing. There is no need to give up the foods you love. You may find that when you analyze your intake that they don't fit in the same quantities or as often, but you can still have them. I suspect the reason you have difficulties sticking with it is because you are trying to make drastic changes.
Work with your doctor regarding your health issues. High blood pressure has several contributing factors. I limit my sodium by not adding it to anything. It's in a lot of foods anyway. It seemd that dietary cholesterol has limited influence on blood cholesterol, but exercise has an impact. Plus losing weight can go a long way in helping both of these. I only ever got heartburn when my belly was big. Hopefully that will reduce for you as well. Although it doesn't for everyone.
Most importantly, have patience. You didn't gain overnight. You won't lose overnight. If you go over calories one day, get back at it and don't beat yourself up. You are human and this is a learning and growing process.2 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!
THIS - It works for some people but not for everyone. I'm a fan
Obviously it can be challenging if you're in a different country since the brands can be different. But if I see someone had something for dinner but I think it was a recipe they manually did, I'll send them a message and ask about it. I would hope others would do the same to me.
Well that is one side - there is also the guilt side. The idea that someone can see what you are eating makes you more careful but can also be stressful for some people. Why it pays to have a really good circle of friends on here I find
I think guilt in weight management is a poor overall strategy. Leads to shame and people kicking themselves for being a failure because they ate something "bad." How many posts do we see where OP is beating themselves up because they failed? And when asked, they ate a cookie that took them 100 calories over their goal. Which still leaves them in a calorie deficit for the day. Extremes in dieting mindset are a slippery slope.
I'm not going to get in the ins and outs cos the context of many situations makes a difference. For me - I like the guilt, I like others pushing me, I like to have a laugh with friends here, I like cheat meals. I completely understand that others don't want to "demonise" food, don't like any guilt, take it seriously, want positive energy, don't like cheat meals - everyone is different, I was just discussing open diary which some people love - some people hate. I'm not advocating - I'd say to anyone, try it and see what you think
It's absolutely individual. For diet, I don't use guilt and shame. For exercise, when I'm ready to give up, I often use the phrase "suck it up, cupcake." I just don't see guilt and shame being useful for someone who sounds overwhelmed.1 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Have friends on MFP that have an open food diary. I found that very helpful!
THIS - It works for some people but not for everyone. I'm a fan
Obviously it can be challenging if you're in a different country since the brands can be different. But if I see someone had something for dinner but I think it was a recipe they manually did, I'll send them a message and ask about it. I would hope others would do the same to me.
Well that is one side - there is also the guilt side. The idea that someone can see what you are eating makes you more careful but can also be stressful for some people. Why it pays to have a really good circle of friends on here I find
I think guilt in weight management is a poor overall strategy. Leads to shame and people kicking themselves for being a failure because they ate something "bad." How many posts do we see where OP is beating themselves up because they failed? And when asked, they ate a cookie that took them 100 calories over their goal. Which still leaves them in a calorie deficit for the day. Extremes in dieting mindset are a slippery slope.
I'm not going to get in the ins and outs cos the context of many situations makes a difference. For me - I like the guilt, I like others pushing me, I like to have a laugh with friends here, I like cheat meals. I completely understand that others don't want to "demonise" food, don't like any guilt, take it seriously, want positive energy, don't like cheat meals - everyone is different, I was just discussing open diary which some people love - some people hate. I'm not advocating - I'd say to anyone, try it and see what you think
It's absolutely individual. For diet, I don't use guilt and shame. For exercise, when I'm ready to give up, I often use the phrase "suck it up, cupcake." I just don't see guilt and shame being useful for someone who sounds overwhelmed.
So much this.
If I were to find that I had to use guilt or shame as a motivator, then I'm not doing it right because the motivation needs to come from *me* to be sustainable in the long term.
I also don't have the time or interest to go snooping through people's food logs unless they specifically ask for help.
To each their own.
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