Am I anorexic? (Thank you rebeccabarter)

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nomorefatbitch
nomorefatbitch Posts: 279
in Health and Weight Loss
Good morning all -

Yesterday, I posted a message having to do with how I see myself. The short version is that, in spite of a tremendous weight loss (over time I have lost 142-ish pounds), or the comments of people around me or the fact that I am wearing much smaller clothing, I can't stop seeing a fat person in the mirror.

I went so far as going to a plastic surgeon yesterday, to remove excess skin from my upper arms and thighs. Due to the medical history that I have detailed in the past, she said it was too risky.

I was pretty unhappy after getting the news, because I don't want to be that fat person anymore.

A few of you commented - and one in particular, rebeccabarter, should receive my utmost thanks.

Rebecca suggested a counselor or therapy.

At first, I thought "WHAT would I need to do that for?"

Then I went online and googled this, that and a few other things.

I always thought of anorexia as an extreme. However, the KEY "ingredient" to anorexia is the distorted body image. One of the articles even demonstrated everything with pictures. Showing the skinny girl (me) looking at the fat girl in the mirror (also me.)

Am I anorexic? Maybe not extreme in the extent that I will continue down the weight loss path and do ANYTHING to lose weight -although I have to admit that I have tried just about EVERYTHING in the past (including many non-healthy things.) I am also not extreme in my desire to burn off all of my food calories (and more). But I DEFINITELY have the mindset. My goal weight was 118 - which for my height, etc. is about right. If I don't reach it, I will be okay with that. I recognize that the "number" is okay.

The next step is to really try not to see that fat person in the mirror.

Thank you Rebecca. You made me think about this in a new way. Monday, I will call and see about seeing someone.

Replies

  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    You are awesome!! To have such an open mind and care about yourself enough to look at something from a much different and more difficult point of view.........GO YOU!!!
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
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    The just remember, most important part of all this is living a healthy, happy life, right? You want to be there for your kids/grandkids/neices/nephews right?

    At some point, you have to not care what you look like in the mirror, and realize that how you feel and your health is so much more important.

    Its a huge step being willing to talk to someone about it. And congratulations for taking that step!
  • barbiex3
    barbiex3 Posts: 1,036 Member
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    "Anorexia nervosa also known as simply Anorexia is an eating disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a healthy body weight and an obsessive fear of gaining weight. Persons with anorexia nervosa continue to feel hunger, but deny themselves all but very small quantities of food. The average caloric intake of a person with anorexia nervosa is 600–800 calories per day, but there are extreme cases of complete self-starvation"
  • vibrant80
    vibrant80 Posts: 42 Member
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    You are awesome!! To have such an open mind and care about yourself enough to look at something from a much different and more difficult point of view.........GO YOU!!!

    Agreed 100%.

    Also, body dysmorphia isn't exclusive to anorexics. I'd go so far to say that it's not uncommon at all in people who have lost significant amounts of weight, especially if they've been heavy most of their lives. You've had an amazing, successful weight loss journey - this is just the next step. Good luck!
  • yeabby
    yeabby Posts: 643 Member
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    First of all I'm not an expert but, this doesn't sound like anorexia. It could be many things like body dysmorphic disorder. I agree with rebeccabarter. If you are concerned seek an expert for advice.
  • _Sally_
    _Sally_ Posts: 514 Member
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    I think a lot of folks get into the mindset that "perfect" bodies are possible and that it's a realistic goal. They are not. We are not Victoria Secret models and we don't need to look like one in order to be healthy, happy (and sexy!)

    I think we would all be happier if we could just focus on being the healthiest version of ourselves. The outside reflects the inside. We need to stop trying to spot reduce, eating junk but justifying it because we are still within our calorie targets, and accept our natural curves (or lack thereof) and natural proportions. There is nothing "wrong" with us. We are our own worst critics.

    Self-love and self-acceptance are things that can be addressed in therapy, so I think it would be a worthwhile pursuit. Take your time in finding the right therapist for you. Try a few out and get some local recommendations.

    Good luck. You can do it! You deserve it!
  • linscave
    linscave Posts: 59 Member
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    Anorexia is a creeping condition. I don't have Anorexia but I have been very close on several occasions and every time it has been a passing comment from a friend that has snapped me out of it.
    I know i am slim, but i don't see a slim person in the mirror. i see the bits of myself i don't like. I have struggled with this for 25ish years and I know it will always be a battle to see the good bits not the bad bits of me!

    What really helped me was couselling and telling friends about certain hang ups i have, so they can call me on it when they see me behaving in that way. Things like : I never finish everything on my plate. I always leave something. it may be a little tiny bit but it's there. if i eat it all up I am being greedy! (Yes I know it's stupid) The other day I finished a whole plate of food and my friend pointed it out to me. I was really pleased that i had done it without realising it because i was enjoying the food so much!

    I also struggle with seeing my cals on here in the red. That makes me mega twitchy. Which is ridiculous because i am now at the weight i wanted to be, but feel if i lose a bit more i will have more of a buffer zone. (Dangerous territory lies down that road) Currently i am trying to live with the odd red number day rather than go onto a maintenance intake just yet.

    What i really want to say is you are not alone. lots of people struggle with self image and as long as you talk to people you should be ok! discussing it on here is defintely a good thing. Recognising what you are feeling and thinking should keep you on the right path!
    Good Luck :smile:
  • missmerchandise
    missmerchandise Posts: 9 Member
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    Hi, I'm a psychology major and am will be going into my masters for psychology. Here is some info that may be pertaining to you.
    EDNOS...eating disorder not otherwise specified...that is the condition I believe you might have. It is a disorder name given for those that are not quite there at anorexia level but are close to it. "The threshold for being considered anorexic is when your body weight is less than 85 percent of normal for you height and age. The refusal of food is based on 2 usual patterns, namely calorie counting and eliminating certain food groups entirely." Many people don't quite fit into the 85 percentile range but are close to it or have eating habits similar to those of an anorexic.

    http://ed-eatingdisorders.com/common-symptoms-of-anorexia-nervosa/

    EDNOS is not quite as extreme as anorexia but it is a growing condition that many people have.
    http://www.findingbalance.com/articles/disorders/ednos.asp

    I believe the main reason for everyone who's really upset about their weight is that we let the society's standards take over our own happiness. I don't know your lifestyle, but sometimes even watching too much tv, reading magazines, and glaring into too much media can put a general toll on you.

    I hope this helps...I'm glad you're taking the time to go to therapy...many people don't since their is such a stigmatization to it.
  • nomorefatbitch
    nomorefatbitch Posts: 279
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    Thanks Miss!!!

    I actually received a private message telling me something similar. My next step is to research EDNOS. As I said, I will call on Monday. I also have a "regular" doctor's appointment on Friday with the BEST primary care physician in the universe :) This will be discussed with him also.

    Thank you to everyone.
  • squigglypuff
    squigglypuff Posts: 279 Member
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    I wouldn't be so quick to label myself with a disorder if I were you. You sound pretty normal to me and there's nothing glamorous about eating disorders or any other kind of emotional/mental problem for that matter. It seems like people nowadays (not you specifically) are TOO EAGER to be (mis)diagnosed with a condition just to take the pressure and responsibility off of their own consciences. You have emotions and feelings -- some are good, some are bad, some are confusing, but they're all normal.


    As for the psych major girl that commented earlier -- didn't your program teach you anything about ethics or even diagnostics, for that matter?
  • nomorefatbitch
    nomorefatbitch Posts: 279
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    Sorry for the controversy. I'm out of here.
  • mycatas
    mycatas Posts: 20
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    Peter Sagal (of "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me") wrote a short essay about the feeling of looking in the mirror and still seeing fat for Runner's World. From the reader comments, it seems like there are many people who experience this. Here's the link:

    http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-243-297-519-13846-0,00.html
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
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    i would also seek counseling, they can at least help you figure out why you see yourself the way you do as well as offer suggestions on how to change your thinking. try to find someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

    could you have some sort of disorder, eating or otherwise? it's possible. however, from what i understand and have heard from others, it is normal to feel this way after losing a significant amount of weight. i can't speak to your eating habits but distorted body image ALONE does not equal an eating disorder. no one can diagnose you through the internet.

    (i'm a social worker, btw!)
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    i dont think you have an eating disorder from what you said...

    i think it is normal to feel the way you feel as a result of LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

    i'm pretty sure you would know if you had an eating disorder...or you would be in denial...not questioning it though lol

    im really paranoid, so it could be that too for you...i went to one of my dentist a couple days ago and asked about gum grafting and he told me I could if it made me feel better...but he doesn't think i will ever need it. ive been to specialist for many things, just to make sure. so....hope this helps =)

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