How to cope with nonsupportive environment

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michellenc27540
michellenc27540 Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all, I would like advice from those whose partners are not supportive. I have pretty much been at goal weight for the past year but it is a c

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  • michellenc27540
    michellenc27540 Posts: 20 Member
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    Sorry did not finish. It is a constant struggle to maintain a healthy lifestyle because my husband insists on keeping alcohol and junk food in the house. For the most part I can with some difficulty obstain but when it's the weekend or I am stressed it is too convenient to over indulge. I have given up trying to get him to join me. He feels like he really doesn't need to change his eating and drinking habits just work out. He is 5'9" and 250. He feels like he just needs to lose 20 lbs.
  • michellenc27540
    michellenc27540 Posts: 20 Member
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    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »
    He's right, it is his diet and his home too.

    You need to take owner ship of what you put in to your body, the world is full of temptations and long term success is dependant on us controlling ourselves around it.

    Was really looking for coping mechanisms, but thank you for the reply!
  • ieroen
    ieroen Posts: 77 Member
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    I would simply look for support elsewhere. So maybe go to a fitness place and find like-minded people, or get friends to give you the energy, motivation and accountability that you need. Or find an online community of people with positive energy, who care about these things and want to see others succeed.
  • justkris_gettingfit
    justkris_gettingfit Posts: 239 Member
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    Do you premake any meals, or snacks?
    Maybe try having a cabinate for yourself thats filled with healthy snacks and explain to your husband that that one cabinate is specifically yours. I know that I have to put my stuff in a certain area and everyone knows not to touch.

    Also try changing your mindset on how you view the foods your husband eat. Alcohol is empty calories, and idk about you, but it gives me the munchies, which means I'll eat crappy stuff ontop of it, so I rarely ever drink anymore.
    Do you feel satisfied after eating the food your tempted by? If its something you enjoy without feeling guilty over it, just take accountability and get back on track the next day, but if it just makes you miserable, drink 8-16oz water and wait 30min and see how you feel then.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    michellenc27540 wrote: »
    ...Was really looking for coping mechanisms, but thank you for the reply!

    Technically taking ownership IS a coping mechanism.
    I would add, make some fitness friends to be your anchor. I've not asked my wife nor daughter to change with me (daughter is taking interest since dad is 40lbs down) but have a good superfit friend at work.
  • michellenc27540
    michellenc27540 Posts: 20 Member
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    2011rocket3touring wrote: »
    michellenc27540 wrote: »
    ...Was really looking for coping mechanisms, but thank you for the reply!

    Technically taking ownership IS a coping mechanism.
    I would add, make some fitness friends to be your anchor. I've not asked my wife nor daughter to change with me (daughter is taking interest since dad is 40lbs down) but have a good superfit friend at work.


    I believe I have taken ownership. I started @ 5'8" and 155lbs, I am currently 125lbd, I have maintained this 30 pound loss over the past year. I eat VERY clean and cook for my whole family, they choose to eat otherwise. On the days I don't work 14 hours as a nurse (in an environment where most of my colleagues are very overweight and constantly have candy, cookies, pizza etc lying around) I workout for 30 min to an hour. I just wish I could make my home environment a place where I could relax more and not have to be tempted by unhealthy behaviors and of course seeing how effects of these unhealthy behaviors catch up to all eventually I want better for my husband too. After all I am only human. Since this link was called motivation and support I was hoping for some suggestions that others have employed to get families on board. Thanks!
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
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    I didn't force my family to conform to my ways... My hubby has different goals and that would be completely selfish to make him give up what he likes to eat and drink. It's his house too.
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
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    Do your temptations generally sit out in the open? If so, clean out a cabinet or two and ask that the foods that you don't want to see be stored there when not being eaten.
  • not_my_first_rodeo
    not_my_first_rodeo Posts: 311 Member
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    seska422 wrote: »
    Do your temptations generally sit out in the open? If so, clean out a cabinet or two and ask that the foods that you don't want to see be stored there when not being eaten.

    This sounds like a good step. You're not forcing him to do anything different. You're just asking for his help in you maintaining your weight loss.
  • jonjaxmom
    jonjaxmom Posts: 77 Member
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    I premake my own breakfasts and lunches and I have snacks in my house that my family knows are mine. My husband and boys are not on a weight loss journey with me, so I have had my own struggles with this and 100% understand how hard it can be. There are foods and drinks in the house that are for them, and I know it is up to me to decide whether or not to eat them. It's hard when the food is calling me from the cupboard! LOL

    I don't force my diet on them; but on the flip side, they know that dinnertime they are to expect that a meal will be cooked within the guidelines of my "diet" so I don't cook deep fried foods, or foods that may contain heavy creams or sodium or sugars. I may make them mashed potatoes, but I also cook a little cauliflower so I feel like I am eating the same thing as they are. Then I go onto community sites like this one and read and read and read for motivation and support.
  • michellenc27540
    michellenc27540 Posts: 20 Member
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    seska422 wrote: »
    Do your temptations generally sit out in the open? If so, clean out a cabinet or two and ask that the foods that you don't want to see be stored there when not being eaten.

    Thanks for that recommendation, out of sight out of mind;).


  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    When the rest of the family is not ready, there's not alot you can do. You can only work on yourself. Maybe don't deny yourself--have a half a shot glass for yourself, and that's it. Measure out a few chips or whatever, and that's it. Log it and move on.
  • michellenc27540
    michellenc27540 Posts: 20 Member
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    jonjaxmom wrote: »
    I premake my own breakfasts and lunches and I have snacks in my house that my family knows are mine. My husband and boys are not on a weight loss journey with me, so I have had my own struggles with this and 100% understand how hard it can be. There are foods and drinks in the house that are for them, and I know it is up to me to decide whether or not to eat them. It's hard when the food is calling me from the cupboard! LOL

    I don't force my diet on them; but on the flip side, they know that dinnertime they are to expect that a meal will be cooked within the guidelines of my "diet" so I don't cook deep fried foods, or foods that may contain heavy creams or sodium or sugars. I may make them mashed potatoes, but I also cook a little cauliflower so I feel like I am eating the same thing as they are. Then I go onto community sites like this one and read and read and read for motivation and support.

    Thanks for the reply! It helps knowing others are out there with the same struggles we utilize a lot of the same strategies but I will add community sites for support and try to accept I will not be able to share a healthy lifestyle WITH my spouse as I wish to do.


  • michellenc27540
    michellenc27540 Posts: 20 Member
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    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    I didn't force my family to conform to my ways... My hubby has different goals and that would be completely selfish to make him give up what he likes to eat and drink. It's his house too.

    I see the first hand effects of eating and drinking the wrong things on my job every day. I don't think my husbands goal
    Is diabetes, fatty liver, CAD, CHF or cancer just to name a few. I have tried for a long time to lead by example and not to preach, but as others have suggested I think I will have to look outside of our relationship for support in this aspect.

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