How to deal with negative self sabotaging thoughts

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jane8484
jane8484 Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know self sabotaging thoughts can have a million different variations. There were two in particular I wanted advice with. The first is feeling guilty and bad about yourself whenever you eat anything that's unhealthy- either just one thing or feeling massively guilty about "cheat" meals. The second is how to keep the negative thoughts at bay when you've yoyoed before in weight. How can you convince yourself that this time it's going to be different?

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  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    I work on this by not assigning food as bad/good. It all food. Some are worth eating all the time and some are worth eating once in awhile. Some are good to have around the house and some are best purchased in an individual serving. This has pretty much stopped the guilt in its tracks.

    There are food days that are overall more nutritious and some where they are less. I just get back on track.

    This helps me, hopefully it may help you.
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
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    For the first one, I posted this yesterday, read it again today... and then printed it out and put it on my fridge.

    *Note to self: Food is fuel. Eating is not evil. Being hungry is not a physical defect. Stop being mean to yourself because you want to eat. And stop being mean to yourself because you ate something that's not considered healthy. A couple cookies, a cup of coffee with the fancy creamer, or a dinner out are not going to result in gaining back 50 pounds. Going over your calorie limit by a little is not the end of the world. Going over by a lot every now and then is not the end of the world, either. Learn to eat normally. People without weight issues do not stress a bad food day. Learn to eat like you would eat at maintenance because one day you WILL be there.

    And the second, I can't really help with, because this is my 3rd time I've lost 50 pounds, and I'm hoping *this* time I will keep going. I wish I had an answer for that one, because I hear that fat voice telling me to give up and eat a cake for dinner pretty regularly.
  • WehttamThims
    WehttamThims Posts: 57 Member
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    You feel bad about it because you've assigned a meaning to it that makes you feel bad.

    For example say you ate a dozen cookies. Your brain then goes and looks up 'what does eating a dozen cookies mean?" in its vast database of life experience. It comes back with ' I'm a failure, I'm a bad person, I'm never going to get this' or whatever it is and you feel bad.

    If you caught yourself and said "woo wait a sec, eating a dozen cookies means I ate a dozen cookies and THAT IS IT!! It doesn't make me a bad person, it doesn't make me a failure, it simply means I ate a dozen cookies'.

    What you do next is up to you. Do you say 'ok what do I need to change so that I don't eat a dozen cookies' or 'this was my cheat meal and I deserve it but we're back on the wagon tomorrow'.

    Change the meaning and you'll change how you feel. It sounds simple and that's because it is.. sort of. You don't just say that once and your done, you've changed the meaning and life is happy ever after (though that does happen to some people). You have to work at it and keep saying it and keep working at it. It's like a muscle, you need to keep working it until it gets stronger. You've had a lifetime of making yourself feel bad for eating a dozen cookies, you'll need to put in some time to change that programming.

    Although you might not want to change the meaning too much otherwise it won't motivate you to continue.

    For your yoyo weight, my guess if you need to find out why you keep self sabotaging yourself OR if its some fad thing like no carbs then know that those diets are sustainable and you actually need to change your lifestyle to be healthy portion controlled eating with regular exercise. That's not a diet, that's lifestyle / mindset change that you CAN DO!!!
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    I made a very conscious decision before I started that I would need to make changes I could live with the rest of my life. I was not gong to make any changes I wasn't willing to sustain. I've thought about maintenance every day for the last 2.5 years of my journey. What has failed before? What am i going to do different this time? What kind of plan can I establish to stop before it gets out of control? It has to come from within. How badly do you really want it? How much do you NOT want to go back where you started? Lots to think about...

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