Recovering, wanting to do things right

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DorkothyParker
DorkothyParker Posts: 618 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hey!
I am a 27 (28 in a week!) American living in Korea. Though I've always had body and self-esteem issues, these last two years have been tough being away from friends and family. I lost about 25 lbs the "unhealthy" way (starvation, hate mantras, etc). My family saw pictures and said I looked sick and old. I have spent the last month trying to find balance. I decided not to allow myself to count calories, take diet pills, or weigh myself. But every time I eat, I feel guilt. I feel there is no space between starvation and binging and I can see I have gained weight, all fat. I haven't weighed myself, but I "feel" 5 lbs heavier and I am afraid this depression will lead back to my old unhealthy lifestyle if I can't be balanced.
I am trying to get fit and eat right. I want to allow myself the occasional cookie without eating an entire box. I want to be able to put good veggies and lean proteins in my body so I feel strong without feeling I need to restrict to under 500kcal.
I will be returning home to America in a month, and I want to be someone my family and friends can recognize and be proud of.

So that's me. Hi!

Replies

  • ageros
    ageros Posts: 66 Member
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    Welcome to MFP!
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
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    I'd like to help. But when I go to your profile I see nothing there. Yet there's a photo on the post here. Not sure what to make of that.

    If you want support feel free to add me.
  • demelza123
    demelza123 Posts: 66 Member
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    Girly girl ... I feel for you. Maybe some of these issues are based on living in a foreign country and not having a support network, like you would at home. maybe your home return will be the ticket to a healthier life you will need. I too deal with binge/purging issues. Unlike you though ... I just plain over eat. I would like to be support for you - on this road to recovery. I will message you. Good luck .... and stay the course!
  • DorkothyParker
    DorkothyParker Posts: 618 Member
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    Hey, I totally appreciate the support. I think things will improve when I get back home, but in the mean, I need to keep a positive outlook. I think more exercise and healthy eating will help me feel better emotionally as well.
    As for my pic, I keep putting up different ones because I am neurotic about how I am perceived. *shock*
  • sonpari24
    sonpari24 Posts: 62 Member
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    welcome
  • paulmg1234
    paulmg1234 Posts: 37
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    I really related to your post. I am a definite victim of black and white thinking. I am either eating raw vegan or eating as much junk food as I can in preparation for the diet I'm about to start. Always one extreme or the other.
    I have found that counting calories is a way to get balance for me. I can eat some "bad" foods as long as I track them. While tracking, I realize that these foods aren't usually worth the high calorie counts. That makes me naturally eat less of them.
    As far as weighing myself, I definitely believe that once a week is the best method. Weighing everyday just leads to an emotional rollercoaster. If I weigh myself once a week I find that I am progressing appropriately.
    I, too, spent some time in Korea. I taught English in Taegu for 6 months. I love the country! And the food!
    See you!
  • rgalisky
    rgalisky Posts: 11 Member
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    Eat healthy and use exercise to bring balance. Buy a fitness watch with calorie counter. when you eat to much you walk, run, bike, dance (yes go dancing), jumping jacks, what ever floats your boat exercise. It works well and is healthy. This web site does the math for you, just enter in the data.

    My sister who is quite skinny (almost anorexic) can kick my but on the hills. Skinny is good if you have power. Skinny is unhealthy if you are weak.

    thats my 2 cents

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