How do you start? What steps do I take?

hazzaram · January 2017

First of all, I'm sorry this is so long! Kudos to any of you that make it through this.

Second, I've come to the conclusion that I'm a serial starter. I got on the scale yesterday and realized I'm the heaviest I've ever been. 260 lbs. My heart broke upon seeing that. I need help. I don't want to die because I'm obese. So many health issues run in my family, mainly cancer. I want to be the healthiest I can be but I don't know where to start. I've already got PCOS and Insulin resistance. I'm supposed to be on Metformin to control my Insulin but I don't take it (1. I can't afford it and 2. it makes me sick).

Every time I've started bettering my life (I don't believe in diets and don't call it that), I've just jumped right into it. I think that's where I've been going wrong. I've overwhelmed myself every time and I end up giving up because I get frustrated. I've read (I think it was here) that you need to take steps. Start slow and work yourself toward the end goal.

So, these are the things I want to change:

- My addiction to diet coke. It's literally ALL I drink. All day, every day. If I try not to drink it, I get terrible cravings and headache from lack of caffeine. I don't drink tea or coffee, so I can't get it that way. I also want to drink more water. I drink literally none except for whatever little is in diet coke.

- Eat more veggies. I hate veggies, except corn and potatoes (I've tried preparing them all different ways and eating all different kinds. I just don't like them. There are a few I can stomach if I eat them either other things - broccoli, asparagus). I can't even remember the last time I ate one. I think at the beginning at least, that I should start with some green smoothies to get more into me. Maybe a few times a week.

- Activity level. I'm a gamer and I spend probably 6-10 hours a day on my computer. Sometimes more. I have no motivation and worst of all, I have no energy. I know depression is a big part of it. Sometimes, if I have 2-3 days off work in a row, I'll only go outside to run to the grocery store and spend the rest of my time off in my house. Temperature is another thing. I live in Southwestern Ontario, Canada. In the Winter it's insanely cold. In the summer, it gets insanely hot. I feel uncomfortable in either of the extreme temperatures.

- Get blood work done. I have a feeling some of my levels are off.

- *** Potion sizes and hunger. This is a big one for me. I'm a huge over-eater. I can eat enough food for 3-4 people in one sitting. I can eat an entire large pizza or 3 chicken breasts plus whatever sides we're having and then want more in a couple of hours. It's ridiculous and I hate it. I think I'm so used to eating so much that if I try and have a normal meal, I'm left feeling like I'm starving and haven't eaten enough. I'm not sure how to break that habit. I've tried eating many small meals instead but that seemed to make it worse.

I know that's a lot to read, sorry. If you guys have any tips on how to go about changing these things, I'd really appreciate it. I've tried talking to a dietitian but she made it even worse. I went and she gave me this huge list of stuff to do and not to and it sort of freaked me out. I have also talked to a therapist about my binge eating but she wasn't really experienced with it and didn't help much. I live in a very small city and don't drive so a lot of resources aren't available here.

Thanks very much.

nowine4me · January 2017

1. Drink your Diet Coke, some water would be good too
2. Eat corn and potatoes, and experiment with new things like roasted vegetables or zoodles
3. replace 30 mins of gaming with a walk. Get a tracker to make it more fun
4. Portion sizes are key. This is where you should focus. Get a food scale and use it. Track everything eating just as you are eating today. Then, figure out where you can cut and still be satisfied.
5. A binge isn't a disaster. It happens to everyone. Just log it and learn from it

If it takes a year, 2 years, who cares. Tiny changes can add up to huge results.

nhartley2011 · January 2017

I'm not an expert by any means but it sounds like you have huge goals and lots of them. It may be more manageable to tackle one thing at a time, make realistic goals then you are more likely to achieve then become even more motivated....change one thing at a time. Substitute one glass of Diet Coke a day for ice cold water (I hated water too but it wasn't cold enough or have sparkling if you like the fizz) then when you've cracked that swap another...?if you want to be more active try an activity tracker and set yourself a realistic goal- don't go for the 10k steps a day to start with build up to it slowly make that your goal. With the portion sizes I often confuse a full feeling with hunger stop eating just before full and take 20 before you decide if you want more- eat slower too! It's really hard to have and stick to big goals Take each day as a challenge and after 3 weeks you start to form new habits. Read all the blogs, forums and message boards it will keep you motivated. The best of luck you will do it!

hazzaram · January 2017

nhartley2011 wrote: »

I'm not an expert by any means but it sounds like you have huge goals and lots of them. It may be more manageable to tackle one thing at a time, make realistic goals then you are more likely to achieve then become even more motivated....change one thing at a time. Substitute one glass of Diet Coke a day for ice cold water (I hated water too but it wasn't cold enough or have sparkling if you like the fizz) then when you've cracked that swap another...?if you want to be more active try an activity tracker and set yourself a realistic goal- don't go for the 10k steps a day to start with build up to it slowly make that your goal. With the portion sizes I often confuse a full feeling with hunger stop eating just before full and take 20 before you decide if you want more- eat slower too! It's really hard to have and stick to big goals Take each day as a challenge and after 3 weeks you start to form new habits. Read all the blogs, forums and message boards it will keep you motivated. The best of luck you will do it!

I know I have big goals and that's why I always end up giving up. You're right though, I need to make little changes and take them one step at a time. I think that's key here.

I do have a Fitbit Zip but I don't use it very much. I'm afraid of buying an expensive one and not using it... Maybe I will give it a few months and make sure I'm sticking with it, first.

jessiferrrb · January 2017

nowine4me wrote: »

1. Drink your Diet Coke, some water would be good too
2. Eat corn and potatoes, and experiment with new things like roasted vegetables or zoodles
3. replace 30 mins of gaming with a walk. Get a tracker to make it more fun
4. Portion sizes are key. This is where you should focus. Get a food scale and use it. Track everything eating just as you are eating today. Then, figure out where you can cut and still be satisfied.
5. A binge isn't a disaster. It happens to everyone. Just log it and learn from it

If it takes a year, 2 years, who cares. Tiny changes can add up to huge results.

i agree with all of this!

also, you mention being a huge gamer, and that can be a good thing as there are a lot of ways to gamify (that's a word? maybe) your fitness goals. if that's something you're interested in let me know, i have a few that i love and i'm sure other members have recommendations as well.

i think the bolded is going to be really important. spend your first week just tracking what you eat as accurately as you can. you can get a food scale for less than $10 and that was a huge help for me in tracking portions. if you worry that you burn out too quickly and do too much at once then just logging the first week is enough. that also may lead you to consider going for a slower rate of loss, maybe .5 pound per week. you can plug your stats into mfp and it will tell you what deficit to eat at to achieve that goal. you don't have to rush into the deficit either though. you can start by just cutting 100 calories per day for a week or so, and gradually work your way down to a comfortable number of calories that will help you to achieve your goals.

edited for typo

missmagnoliablossom · January 2017

Hey there - I've struggled with a lot of these same issues. Feel free to friend/PM me.

TR0berts · January 2017

I'm gonna tackle the Diet Coke part. I don't know know how much you drink every day, so let's just go with 10 cups - the exact number doesn't really matter, as long as you understand the process.

For the next week, instead of 10 Diet Cokes, drink 9 Diet Cokes and 1 cup of water.
The next week, instead of 9 DC and 1 water, 8 Diet Cokes and 2 cups of water.
Each week, cut down by one the number of Diet Cokes you drink.

Every week may not work - so make it every 2 weeks or every month. In any case, just periodically start drinking a little less than the previous time period.

quiksylver296 · January 2017

Agree with @nowine4me and @jessiferrrb . Baby steps and small changes. Let them snowball you into success.

You can do this!

nhartley2011 · January 2017

You can do it! The walking is a good place to start as that will help you feel better and will help spur on the other changes you want to make. Your Fitbit that you have sounds perfect! Good luck

goldthistime · January 2017

If you want to kick your Diet Coke habit you just need to wean off very slowly. I've done it with coffee a few times.

As to eating more veggies, there are a couple of things I did with my kids that might work for you. First I made them have one bite of whatever veggie was being served in an effort to get them used to the taste. I'm not convinced this is infallible but you could try it. Second, I ground up veggies and put it in spaghetti sauce, and third, I baked with it (zucchini loaf, carrot cake, pumpkin/squash/sweet potato pies, in my breads etc).

I'm also trying to get outside more often in Ontario winters. So far I've just been dressing warmly and walking (sometimes with a bit of running mixed in) around the block. I'm hoping to get skis on sometime this year. Maybe skates too. But my walks around the block will probably be the bulk of it. In fact, you've motivated me to get out there right this very minute, despite the wind.

If I think of anything to help with the portion size and binging that isn't already covered, I'll be back, but right now I'm heading outside

diannethegeek · January 2017

You mentioned you're a gamer. Have you ever heard of a site called Habitica? You basically set a list of your goals (like: drink a glass of water, go for a walk, eat a veggie, etc) and you earn game points for checking them off each day. I'm not using it, but some of my friends have banded together over there and it seems like something you might find entertaining and motivating.

jessiferrrb · January 2017

diannethegeek wrote: »

You mentioned you're a gamer. Have you ever heard of a site called Habitica? You basically set a list of your goals (like: drink a glass of water, go for a walk, eat a veggie, etc) and you earn game points for checking them off each day. I'm not using it, but some of my friends have banded together over there and it seems like something you might find entertaining and motivating.

i think i'll go check that out. hijacking the advice here.

also, who put you in jail???

hazzaram · January 2017

diannethegeek wrote: »

You mentioned you're a gamer. Have you ever heard of a site called Habitica? You basically set a list of your goals (like: drink a glass of water, go for a walk, eat a veggie, etc) and you earn game points for checking them off each day. I'm not using it, but some of my friends have banded together over there and it seems like something you might find entertaining and motivating.

I'm so excited to try this, thank you.

annaskiski · January 2017

Heh, Heh, Dianne been bad!

Honestly, don't worry about the Diet Coke.

Count calories, stay under your calorie goal.
That's all it takes... Don't worry about carbs/protein/fat/exercise to start with.

Just count calories...Start with just eating what you always eat, just measure/weigh it all and log it.
You'll soon figure out where you need to make modifications...

hazzaram · January 2017

I'm so thankful for all of your encouraging words and advice. I was a little worried I'd get some nasty comments. Thank you everyone. I'm going to start using a lot of your suggestions

pedermj2002 · January 2017

I've seen the power of simple awareness. It worked for me with budgeting, and it's working for me with weight loss. Here's how I got started with MFP, maybe it can help you.

Just log what you consume. Log it completely, accurately, every little thing. Including the diet coke. Absolutely everything gets logged. At the end of the day, look at your food diary. It will tell you the major components (calories, protein, sodium). It will tell you how you did. Also, click that "complete your diary" button at the bottom. It will tell you how much you'd weigh in 5 weeks if every day between now and then were exactly the same. Just that little bit of awareness, even without setting *any* goals, can make a difference.

Other things you can do that will help, and require all of about 5 minutes of your time (ever). On your phone, installed the proper fitness tracking app. If you're on Android, use Google Fit. If you're on iPhone, use Apple's. From there, connect MFP to that app (on your phone, not the site). This will allow your phone to be your step counter, *and* it will track some amount of calories to help you figure out how many you burned from walking around.

Again, awareness. When you see that walking a few thousand steps gets you another couple hundred calories, you'll want to walk more. At least, I sure did.

These are just small steps, but the results can easily snowball into bigger. When I got started on MFP, I was also biking around the block (a whole half mile! Whoo!). Now, I'm on an indoor trainer due to the weather, but I'm still racking up the miles. Last Sunday, I did over 30 miles. And I only got started on that because of this site, and because it increased my awareness.

None of the above will cost you a dime. But the benefits can be huge. Give them a try, and good luck.

Feel free to add me as a friend, too. I'll help out however I can.

bcl003 · January 2017

I am still a work in progress and not an expert by any means but here are a couple thoughts that might help.

1.There is a game on Android phones (not sure about IPhone) called Wokamon where you create monsters, you earn XP thru your activity. You may need a FitBit because that is how mine is set up, I'm not sure on that. The game is cheesy, but it might be a cute little extra push. I like it and my kiddo enjoys helping me get new stuff for my monster. Sometimes my older daughter and I will walk laps through the house just to get more steps because it is a pain to try to get the stroller out for my 1 year old.
2. I was experiencing a slight depression (kind of a delayed onset post partum due to no longer breast feeding) and I really did not want to be put on medicine so I started taking turmeric capsules. I took it once a day for a few weeks and I could tell a difference in my mood on the days I took it. Also it helps with blood circulation which was a great plus for me.
3. Again drink your soda, but maybe make it a goal to just start drinking one glass of water a day. When you get that down up it to 2 and so on. Add lemon, try it warm, cold or room temp, add fruit slices etc. I only liked really cold water after having my first child, now I only like room temp or slightly cool water. It's weird I know but try different tactics because that is the only way you will find what you like.
4. I'm not big on veggies, but I like them more now after 5 years of making myself eat them lol. One thing I like to do (again I have kids) is hide them in my meat. Like if making a meatloaf or hamburger mix broccoli slaw or shredded carrots into the patty or loaf, it masks the veggies but you are still eating them. If you are eating spaghetti, mix spaghetti squash in with your noodles or cauliflower and broccoli florets into your meat sauce. Look up kid friendly recipes and try them out because they are normally the pickiest eaters and tend to not like vegetables.
5. When I started working out I did Jillian Michaels at home videos because it is just easier if it is at home for me to actually get a workout in. Now I stream workout programs from a popular fitness company because I have a little one again and I like them personally. My boss does Wii workout games when she can't make it to our local YMCA making it fun for her, I tried them and they really weren't for me. Don't be afraid to try a variety of activities to find something you like.

I don't know if any of this will help you, but I hope it does. I had a baby and started getting healthy, went through ups and downs because life happens, had a 2nd baby and it has completely knocked me in the dirt this time and I am trying to just get back in the swing of things. Set backs will happen to everyone so please don't let mistakes or mess ups make you feel like a failure, just focus on the little bits of progress you have made and get back on the proverbial horse. Lots of luck!

chocolate_owl · January 2017

I agree with the posters who emphasized your portion control goal. I think that's the big one, the one you need to get a handle on first before trying to tackle everything else. It's going to be the one that makes the biggest difference to your results.

Step 1: Log everything. Don't change your eating habits for the first week. Just log it all so you know what you're taking in. Getting a food scale to help with this is a really good idea.

Step 2: Once you see where your calories are coming from, tackle the easy items first. Condiments, sauces, and oils aren't big contributors to your fullness, but they can be very calorie-heavy. Cooking with oil? Use less and swirl it around the pan more, or get a sprayer. Eating a ton of ketchup with your fries? Measure out a smaller amount. Having pasta with alfredo sauce? Switch it out for a tomato-based sauce.

Step 3: Time to cut down on actual volume of food. This can be hard. There's a lot of factors at work here, from what signals "full" to behavioral issues like binging and completion compulsion. I think it's important that, at least initially, you don't feel too deprived or ravenous. Those are easy ways to get derailed. Some ideas on how to adjust to smaller portions:
-You're used to eating volume, so it might be good when possible to still let yourself do that, but with lower-calorie foods. If you normally eat fried chicken and mashed potatoes, switch to grilled chicken and boiled potatoes. Working on liking veggies would be a big help here - you can make a HUGE salad topped with 8oz of grilled chicken for a reasonable number of calories.
-I imagine you'll struggle if you order a pizza and try to only eat 2 or 3 slices. You're used to eating it all, so your brain is going to encourage you to keep eating until it's gone. So instead, reduce the size of your pizza. If you normally order a medium, get a small, then an x-small. If an x-small doesn't fill you up, work on eating those veggies by adding a salad or some broccoli.
-Play around with your macronutrients. Do you feel more full if you eat high fat and low carb? Do you feel better if you have a serving of protein, fat, and carbs at every meal? Do you feel better eating high fiber? This takes time and patience to figure out, but once you find a way of eating you can stick with, it makes this whole journey so much smoother.

Step 4: Still struggling? Play around with meal sizes and timing. I hate eating 5 or 6 small meals throughout the day. An apple and a handful of almonds is not a "meal" to me. I'd rather eat 2 or 3 big meals where I feel like I'm eating something with substance. Some people here swear by intermittent fasting, where you only eat in an 8 hour window or consume all your calories in one meal.

Step 5: Stick with this. Do not quit. Keep trying. Keep experimenting. Keep setting goals. Keep asking for help. Some days are not going to be fun. Some days you're just going to be *hungry*, and it sucks, but it passes. Your health and your future is worth this.

CasperNaegle · January 2017

Everyone starts somewhere. If the journey was easy we wouldn't need sites like this. Get your total calorie burn for the day figured out and get in a 20% or so deficit. You will lose over time. Don't worry about cutting out specific foods. I eat a high protein diet 1 gram per pound and keep my fats at about 20% of my overall calories. Fill in the rest with carbs. When eating lots of low fat (lean) proteins, it honestly feels like you eat all the time. Any exercise you get only helps burn more calories and hopefully save some muscle while you cut, the high protein helps there too. Good luck!

msfanglet · January 2017

We're all rooting for you! Give up the Diet Coke!! Its the #1 culprit behind all your other bad habits. Go get a box of headache meds with caffeine ( I think Exedrin Migraine is one). On the 3rd day, you'll be over it. Just tell yourself, if you drink this Diet Coke, your body will produce insulin, because your brain says SWEET stuff is coming. Then you don't give your body the sugar its waiting for and now the craving binges begin. I gave up soda last year and now when I buy fast food (rarely) I get the full on sugary coke. I feel much better. Hope this helps

msfanglet · January 2017

On that same thought..I found Sparkling ICE at the store. Its zero calories and fizzy and sweet. They are great slushy too! You might get satisfaction by replacing the soda with this.

How do you start? What steps do I take?

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