This is long...

logiesmom
logiesmom Posts: 142
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
so sorry.

I know that I have called on you all for so much help and support and you all have been wonderful. I am just not doing well at all. I was all pumped when I first started and I thought that this was it, this was going to be the change that will stick. Guess what??? I was wrong. I have had a rough week or so and have completely gotten off track. It started as I went to look for wedding dresses and couldn't find anything that fit. That was the first thing, but as I was trying on dresses, it hit me that I don't have my mom to share that moment with. I have been severely depressed and have ate anything and everything. I haven't weighed. I haven't worked out. I haven't even logged my food. I don't know how to do this guys. I don't know how to make this change and stick to it. I beginning to think I will spend the rest of my life in this fat body because I don't have the will power to stick to ANYTHING!!

The only coping mechanism I have is food. How am I going to get through this grieving for my mom without binging? That is all I have known. I don't even know where to start back. I don't know how to work through these emotions without food. I miss my mom so much. Sometimes it seems her memory is enough to make me smother. Does that make sense?

I need help guys and I don't know what to do.

Replies

  • logiesmom
    logiesmom Posts: 142
    so sorry.

    I know that I have called on you all for so much help and support and you all have been wonderful. I am just not doing well at all. I was all pumped when I first started and I thought that this was it, this was going to be the change that will stick. Guess what??? I was wrong. I have had a rough week or so and have completely gotten off track. It started as I went to look for wedding dresses and couldn't find anything that fit. That was the first thing, but as I was trying on dresses, it hit me that I don't have my mom to share that moment with. I have been severely depressed and have ate anything and everything. I haven't weighed. I haven't worked out. I haven't even logged my food. I don't know how to do this guys. I don't know how to make this change and stick to it. I beginning to think I will spend the rest of my life in this fat body because I don't have the will power to stick to ANYTHING!!

    The only coping mechanism I have is food. How am I going to get through this grieving for my mom without binging? That is all I have known. I don't even know where to start back. I don't know how to work through these emotions without food. I miss my mom so much. Sometimes it seems her memory is enough to make me smother. Does that make sense?

    I need help guys and I don't know what to do.
  • jcpm98
    jcpm98 Posts: 114
    Just remember why you want this so bad, your son and to be healthy! You can do it and we are here to help! Start with a new tomorrow and do your best, it will get easier.....
  • MrsTomy
    MrsTomy Posts: 504 Member
    Find a workout buddy. I do all my workouts with a really good friend, and the exercise makes me feel better and so does the time chatting with a friend. For that hour or so I am able to forget whatever is bothering me and just have fun! I swear, exercise is the best medicine! Do something fun that you enjoy (hiking, aerobics classes, walking, swimming, etc).

    Each day is a new beginning...just because you messed up today doesn't mean that you can't have an amazing day tomorrow! Just take it one day at a time, and know that it is okay to mess up now and again...just log it in and start fresh tomorrow! You can do it! :flowerforyou:
  • sassiebritches
    sassiebritches Posts: 1,861 Member
    logiesmom - I am sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I also share some things you are going through. I lost my mom 20 years ago (I was 15) and my dad 2 years ago (I was 33) and just after my dad died from a long battle with cancer for which I care for him, I meet the man of my dreams and we are getting hitched.........and like you I went dress shopping just to find that I couldn't get into the dress I really wanted and the one I settled on was just not enough......throughout our lives things will try and come between us and our sanity, you have to do what you think your mom would want honey, you have to stay positive to get through all that is insane...start over, we are here, there is always a do-over...its never too late to start again.

    If you ever need some personal time you email me!

    :flowerforyou:
  • evajessee
    evajessee Posts: 51
    I lost my dad a couple years ago and that is when the weight packed onto me too! I found that I quit moving around, began to eat more and sat on the couch and in the house in depression. I began to look at the way my father died (due to his poor diet/health behaviors) and then began to look at my children and asked myself ... "do I want to put MY kids through what I was going through?". Of course the answer was no.

    Now when I feel down and disgusted with myself and have no will to move forward, I look at my children and realize that if I cannot do it for myself, I am obligated to be better for them. They didn't ask to be here and they don't deserve to suffer a horrible tragedy like I did due to my dad's selfish behaviors, addictions and lifestyle. That in itself is enough motivation to force my back out of the refrigerator and off the couch. Find what works for you and begin to work that. Remind yourself of your goal and why you are doing this. Lastly, realize today is a NEW day and there is new mercy for you today to pick yourself up and be the best that you can be today. You can't change yesterday, you are not certain of tomorrow so live in the now and do your best today!
  • MisoSoup79
    MisoSoup79 Posts: 517
    I am so very sorry for your loss. Maybe you just need some more time to grieve before really getting into it. Everyone has a different grieving process... and everyone copes differently.

    Reach out to someone you trust and ask them to help motivate you and keep you in check. It helps to have someone physically there to talk to in person and maybe spend time with to get your mind onto lighter subjects.

    Your mom might be gone from our world, but she still loves you and wants you to be happy. I'm sure she doesn't want to see her daughter spiraling out of control out of depression and grief.

    Instead of reaching into the fridge to drown your sorrow in a pint of ice cream or a block of cheese, go out for a walk. Or if it's too cold to go for a walk, pop in a favorite funny movie and walk in place while you watch. Exercise releases endorphins, which cause feelings of happiness. Food doesn't have that effect. It may seem to soothe you in the short term... but there's not enough food in the world to fill the void that you feel....

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss. And don't beat yourself up if you find you don't have the willpower to stick to your goals all the time. When the right time comes, you'll be ready to give it your best. Until then, set daily mini-goals so you don't have to think so hard about the long term. If you conquer one day without junk food as a pacifier, rejoice and try to do it again the next day!

    You will make it through this. It's not easy at all. But it's worth it.
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
    I know what you are going through I lost my mom in August 2004 after watching her die of pancreatic cancer. I ate my feelings and gained quite a bit of weight and now I struggle with getting those same pounds off. Try to dig deep and find a way to stay on track day to day. One day is what we have control of. I found that doing activities that we enjoyed together helped me. My sis and I had a tea party last mother's day in her honor because she loved to have tea parties. She loved the ocean so we saved up to take a cruise(just a short weekend one) and we feel so close to her there. Make a list of things she liked to do and do them in her honor to stay busy and give your emotions an outlet. Remember it is okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to remember. But also remember your mom would have wanted you to be happy. Celebrate her life. Make her a part of your wedding by having a memory candle in the ceremony for her. Little things like that can make a big difference. Let me know if I can do anything for you I know it's hard!:heart::flowerforyou:

    Amy:bigsmile:
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  • Winter23
    Winter23 Posts: 142
    First off Hugs to you. Now take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Second way to go on the 4 pounds lost you are almost to the half way mark on your ticker YEAH!! Third you have found a wonderful man to spend the rest of your life with. You have 2 out of 3 things right now that are positive. If your Mom could say one thing to you right now what would it be? Write it down and read it every time you feel down or un motivated. Someone mentioned you have a son, get him involved with some workouts, his can be modified if he is really young. My 20 month old already know when I am stretching on the floor and will sit with me and put her legs they way I have mine. She doesn't stretch yet but It's a start. I want her to see me exercising or stretching, because now is the time to set habits in her daily activities that wil carry on later.
  • logiesmom
    logiesmom Posts: 142
    Thank you all for listening to me and once again offering some great advice. I feel a little better today but still sad. I stopped on my way to work this morning to get some healthy things to snack on and a good lunch.

    It's so nice to know that there are people who understand exactly what your going through.
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