Feeling intimidated at the gym

eacgfambam4
eacgfambam4 Posts: 4 Member
edited November 14 in Fitness and Exercise
Hi! I started my weight loss journey last year and lost 20-25 pounds. My family joined the gym at the end of the year. I've been going to the weight machines room and then cardio but my ultimate goal is free weights. I'm still 75+lbs overweight and I'm terrified of walking into the free weights room alone. There's no one I know that would be even slightly interested in being my workout partner. Is it just me? How do I get over the intimidation factor? I have no idea what I'm doing with free weights. I hate people staring. Thoughts? Suggestions?
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Replies

  • buffalogal42
    buffalogal42 Posts: 374 Member
    Does your gym have trainers or a manager you could ask for a walk-thru session? Even if you have to pay for a personal trainer session or two it will really help your confidence. Good luck!
  • stephmph16
    stephmph16 Posts: 114 Member
    I am intimidated as well, not gonna lie. What I've been doing is watching YouTube vids and I'm going to have my trainer show me the ropes the first few times.
  • Cintirich
    Cintirich Posts: 22 Member
    I've been going to my gym (PF) for 6 months now. I hit the freeweights room 3 days ago for the first time and I LOVE it! The others are right. You'll feel awkward for a couple of days and then you'll be fine. Good luck!
  • riffraff2112
    riffraff2112 Posts: 1,756 Member
    Videos online can help you with form so you know what to do when you get there.
    Ask a staff member for a quick rundown of the staple exercises....can literally do a few to get familiar and expand your repetoire once you figure things out
  • rks581
    rks581 Posts: 99 Member
    If you're new you can avoid the free weights and focus on the machines. There are some advantages to free weights but they won't make a difference if you're new. Having a trainer help you will be good, you will need to set the seats and some other positions on the machine to fit your body. (Everyone has to do that, I do it too because the last person might have been smaller than me.) It's really hard to get the settings right without a trainer.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited January 2017
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday.

    no . . . or idk, for all i know yeah, sometimes. but a lot of 'gym rats' also just lift every day because they have a plan and that's what their programme calls for. a lot of gym rats are really nice, too.

    op, my best suggestion is to think of something - any basic movement like the squat - that you want to start with. then research it, and tell yourself you're going in there 'to' work on learning that move. having a purpose is so helpful to carry you over that 'scary' threshold.

    i found the free weights area terrifying, but i almost 'had' to keep going in spite of the fear because i really wanted to do the stronglifts programme. and going there was the only way that there was to do that.

    it was so worth it. if you can just give it four weeks, before you decide permanently whether or not it's for you.
  • mlc3542
    mlc3542 Posts: 1 Member
    I teamed up with my sisters to get my motivation going. The first day we were lost. I haven't stepped into a weight room in years. Then I looked up a beginner weight lifting program online. I entered the info on an app called FITNOTES. The first month we focused mainly on machine weights to get our form down. We now hit the gym 5-6 times a week. Free weights will come with time but form is the main point that can be achieved by machines. Videos also help. Don't give up based on the meat heads at the gym. People that truly care will step in to offer help. If you base it on how u might look then your motivation will decrease and you will be the one missing out. Stay positive and focused. Ya got this.
  • sammyliftsandeats
    sammyliftsandeats Posts: 2,421 Member
    I agree with the posters who said to look for a trainer for a session or two to give you an orientation and teach you what you want to know about the free weights. It would be beneficial for you to look into some programs so you can go in and tell them you'd like to learn the moves for a program.
  • terricherry2
    terricherry2 Posts: 222 Member
    I felt the same before I started lifting. I found a club that did intro sessions to teach the basic lifts and how to set up equipment. It was really helpful and made it less scary.
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    The only feedback I have ever gotten from anyone at the gym has been positive. That being said, there is a lot of everyone doing their own thing seemingly completely oblivious to those around them. They probably aren't, I know that I notice those around me, but everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. For a newbie this is a plus and a negative. The plus is that there is no reason to be intimidated, the down side is that unless you are doing something really dangerous, or risking someone else, you'll be left to your own devices.

    Go on line.
    Fine a workout routine. In the beginning almost any beginning routine will work. I'm using Strong Lifts 5x5. (Search "Beginning Weight Lifting Routines"
    )
    Review that routine, look at the videos of the exercises to get the form of how each should be done. Check for any warnings or danger signs of which you should be aware (keep your back straight, keep your weight on your heels, et al.)

    Go to the gym, pick a light weight to start and get to work
    .
    On your return, increase your weight slightly and progress.

    Be friendly, but not overly so. Kinda like as in an elevator.

    Wipe down your equipment before and after you use it.

    You'll fit right in.
  • WandaMM1
    WandaMM1 Posts: 132 Member
    When I first started lifting free weights, I also started with a few personal training sessions. I consider it one of my better decisions! :smiley: I would also say prepare before your first visit. Watch videos, read a couple of articles, etc. and then write down what you want to do when you get there. I think having a plan and a purpose when you get there will help with your confidence. You may still have to guess a little and try different weights for each exercise but at least know what exercises you want to do and have an idea of how to do them BEFORE you start. This is a smart choice; there are so many benefits to adding weight lifting to your workout routine. Good luck, you've got this!
  • stephmph16
    stephmph16 Posts: 114 Member
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday.

    You can build up the OP's confidence without tearing down others. Gym rats go to the gym for reasons unknown to you and me. We can speculate, but why? It's their business. Let them do their thing and enjoy themselves. As you say yourself, don't compete with other people. Worry about yourself.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Rule number one...DO NOT compete with others. You need to remember that the regulars who go to the gym have not always looked as they do currently. They have reached their physique by grabbing the free weights. Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday. Get over the fear/risk factor. Life is about taking risks. You will never get anywhere by playing it safe. DO NOT mind the people surrounding you. Stay focused and the best that you can be!

    what?

    are you serious?
    This is ridiculous and way to broad brush that it can't possibly be true.

    Everyone's got issues- my issues aren't other peoples issues. Their issues aren't my issues- but saying everyone's insecure because they go to the gym is a giant pile poop. That's just a ridiculous assumption.

    OP. Pretend like no one is there- more people ARE indeed concerned with themselves- but the reality is the some of the meanest people in the gym are the nicest and will be the first in line to jump and help out.

    The biggest thing to helping you feel more confident is HAVE A PLAN when you step in the gym- if it's to go do curls- or walk on the treadmill- just have a plan- you'll feel significantly better and more confident about what you're doing.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Rule number one...DO NOT compete with others. You need to remember that the regulars who go to the gym have not always looked as they do currently. They have reached their physique by grabbing the free weights. Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday. Get over the fear/risk factor. Life is about taking risks. You will never get anywhere by playing it safe. DO NOT mind the people surrounding you. Stay focused and the best that you can be!

    What is a gym rat.
    What is your concern if someone goes to the gym daily
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Op a personal trainer or friend maybe until you get your confidence
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
    eacgfambam4 wrote: »
    Hi! I started my weight loss journey last year and lost 20-25 pounds. My family joined the gym at the end of the year. I've been going to the weight machines room and then cardio but my ultimate goal is free weights. I'm still 75+lbs overweight and I'm terrified of walking into the free weights room alone. There's no one I know that would be even slightly interested in being my workout partner. Is it just me? How do I get over the intimidation factor? I have no idea what I'm doing with free weights. I hate people staring. Thoughts? Suggestions?

    Tip #1: Keep this in mind - even the most yoked of meat heads started as a newbie at some point...and most of them remember this and are willing to help if you have questions
    Tip #2: Invest in a trainer (although I do not suggest the ones at the chain gyms) for a month or so in order to get to know the ropes and check your form
    Tip #3: Blast your music, zone out and think of it as therapy
    Tip #4: Once you get into lifting, you'll realize the people there are focused on their work out, not looking at others (and if they are looking at others their most likely figuring out the workout or circuit they're doing or admiring the ripped-ness)
    Tip #5: Even the ripped people get intimidated sometimes
  • l_lake
    l_lake Posts: 107 Member
    If you're feeling self conscious about going in there solo, I would also recommend checking out some Youtube videos first. Try some moves at home (maybe use water bottles as dumbbells, whatever else you can find to improvise) so you can feel confident that you know what you're doing. There's a channel called Bodyfit by Amy that has workouts I really like.
  • amyinthetardis1231
    amyinthetardis1231 Posts: 571 Member
    I found it helpful to choose a structured program then had a trainer take me through each of the lifts to get form down and show me how to use the equipment. After that it was easier to go into the area feeling like I had some clue.
  • mcouey84
    mcouey84 Posts: 31 Member
    To the OP....

    I would recommend hitting the free weights after warming up elsewhere in the gym. Once you get into the groove of your normal routine you'll subconsciously become more relaxed and be able to focus.

    Focus comes easier for many with free weights over machines simply because the exercises require specific attention to detail and form.

    This is especially important when beginning a free weight training regimen because you can easily open yourself up for injury...IMO the risk is much greater than when starting with machines/cables/etc.

    Don't let that scare you...this is also by far the greatest advantage of free weights in that you can actuate and train muscles that are commonly left inactive during the rigid movements offered by a machine.

    Good luck!
  • omunoz2007
    omunoz2007 Posts: 6 Member
    Therealobi1 wrote: »
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Rule number one...DO NOT compete with others. You need to remember that the regulars who go to the gym have not always looked as they do currently. They have reached their physique by grabbing the free weights. Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday. Get over the fear/risk factor. Life is about taking risks. You will never get anywhere by playing it safe. DO NOT mind the people surrounding you. Stay focused and the best that you can be!

    What is a gym rat.
    What is your concern if someone goes to the gym daily

  • omunoz2007
    omunoz2007 Posts: 6 Member
    A gym rat is just a term for someone who goes to the gym on a basis. I have no concern at all if someone goes to the gym daily. I say, "do what you want to do." By the way, I'm a gym rat.
  • omunoz2007
    omunoz2007 Posts: 6 Member
    JoRocka wrote: »
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Rule number one...DO NOT compete with others. You need to remember that the regulars who go to the gym have not always looked as they do currently. They have reached their physique by grabbing the free weights. Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday. Get over the fear/risk factor. Life is about taking risks. You will never get anywhere by playing it safe. DO NOT mind the people surrounding you. Stay focused and the best that you can be!

    what?

    are you serious?
    This is ridiculous and way to broad brush that it can't possibly be true.

    Everyone's got issues- my issues aren't other peoples issues. Their issues aren't my issues- but saying everyone's insecure because they go to the gym is a giant pile poop. That's just a ridiculous assumption.

    OP. Pretend like no one is there- more people ARE indeed concerned with themselves- but the reality is the some of the meanest people in the gym are the nicest and will be the first in line to jump and help out.

    The biggest thing to helping you feel more confident is HAVE A PLAN when you step in the gym- if it's to go do curls- or walk on the treadmill- just have a plan- you'll feel significantly better and more confident about what you're doing.
    Excuse me? Of course I am serious. Everyone has issues...this is true. People go to the gym to do what? Stay healthy? Look good? Yes...? We do this to make us feel "secure" about ourselves. It's about owning up to your own truths. Embrace the truths and MOVE FORWARD. DO NOT stay there. By the way, I'm a gym rat.
  • omunoz2007
    omunoz2007 Posts: 6 Member
    Therealobi1 wrote: »
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Rule number one...DO NOT compete with others. You need to remember that the regulars who go to the gym have not always looked as they do currently. They have reached their physique by grabbing the free weights. Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday. Get over the fear/risk factor. Life is about taking risks. You will never get anywhere by playing it safe. DO NOT mind the people surrounding you. Stay focused and the best that you can be!

    What is a gym rat.
    What is your concern if someone goes to the gym daily

    A gym rat is a term used to describe someone who works out on a basis. I have no concern if someone goes to the gym daily. All the power to them!
  • eacgfambam4
    eacgfambam4 Posts: 4 Member
    Thanks everyone for the reply and tips! I'll definitely be looking up some videos this weekend and try to find a begginers program. I'm a pretty shy person to begin with and tend to stick to myself and what I already know. Trying to expand the horizons haha... I know free weights is where I need to be. Stabilization and core workouts are key to that from what I understand and that's what I need for my health. Thank you so much for the feed back, it's appreciated immensely!
  • Lisa_ASD_Mummy
    Lisa_ASD_Mummy Posts: 36 Member
    to the OP, I agree with the majority on here who have said to try and have a few PT sessions or check out vids on you tube fore idea's, you could buy yourself some light free weights for home, they don't have to be new, 2nd hand would do the trick, so that you can practice at home and get some confidence.

    I always tell myself when I exercise that the majority of people at the gym are there for a workout and they are focused on just that, they barely notice what others are doing. People are also generally nice and helpful and you will judge yourself much more harshly than others ever will.

    Put your headphones in, head up, walk in and do your thing, smile at people who look your way, start small, work up and it will be fine.

    Good luck!
  • Kimo159
    Kimo159 Posts: 508 Member
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    JoRocka wrote: »
    omunoz2007 wrote: »
    Rule number one...DO NOT compete with others. You need to remember that the regulars who go to the gym have not always looked as they do currently. They have reached their physique by grabbing the free weights. Gym rats are some of the most insecure people in the world. If they were so "secure" about themselves they wouldn't need to go to the gym everyday. Get over the fear/risk factor. Life is about taking risks. You will never get anywhere by playing it safe. DO NOT mind the people surrounding you. Stay focused and the best that you can be!

    what?

    are you serious?
    This is ridiculous and way to broad brush that it can't possibly be true.

    Everyone's got issues- my issues aren't other peoples issues. Their issues aren't my issues- but saying everyone's insecure because they go to the gym is a giant pile poop. That's just a ridiculous assumption.

    OP. Pretend like no one is there- more people ARE indeed concerned with themselves- but the reality is the some of the meanest people in the gym are the nicest and will be the first in line to jump and help out.

    The biggest thing to helping you feel more confident is HAVE A PLAN when you step in the gym- if it's to go do curls- or walk on the treadmill- just have a plan- you'll feel significantly better and more confident about what you're doing.
    Excuse me? Of course I am serious. Everyone has issues...this is true. People go to the gym to do what? Stay healthy? Look good? Yes...? We do this to make us feel "secure" about ourselves. It's about owning up to your own truths. Embrace the truths and MOVE FORWARD. DO NOT stay there. By the way, I'm a gym rat.

    Blanket assumption much? Just because you're insecure it doesn't mean that every gym rat is insecure.

    ANYWAY to the OP: When I first started going to the gym I paid for two personal training sessions. It helped me gain some confidence in the gym and my surroundings and made it much more comfortable for me. It might be worth looking into. Some gyms even have free walk throughs where they show you the equipment etc, which can be extremely helpful in boosting your confidence.
  • ieroen
    ieroen Posts: 77 Member
    My personal experience: going to the gym is pretty intimidating at first. People are checking you out and you feel out of place. It sucks, but that's just the way it is with everything new. After a month of hanging in, you'll realize two things:

    1) No one is there to laugh at people or to see others fail. Gym people are all there for the same thing, sacrificing their time to workout and become better. There's a kind of solidarity and a mutual respect between them.

    2) After you're all settled in, you'll see new people coming into the gym, feeling insecure. At that point you'll realize that you'll be thinking about them what everyone was thinking about you: "We've all been there. Just hang in."
  • canary_girl
    canary_girl Posts: 366 Member
    I'm a gym rat. Go 5 days a week at 4am. I started lifting around 5 years ago, although I'm a lifer cardio (jazzercize at 15, lol). Some days I'm the ONLY woman on the lower (weights) level. And I still feel self conscious sometimes.

    But so does everyone. And doing what makes you nervous is the only way to get past it. We all feel nervous, and we do it anyway. And so can you.

    You got this.
  • pacific904
    pacific904 Posts: 92 Member
    I started going in a London gym two years ago, shy, overweight, self conscious. As I was not sure I was going to "stick it" did not even invest in proper gym clothes and wore old leggings and t-shirt - still do.

    I just smiled at everyone, some would smile back, some did not but I carried on going regardless. What I found out is that people in the gym are so invested in themselves that they do not give a damn about anyone else or what you look like. It took a long time for me to make friends but two years on I look forward to go there.

    What was helpful was to have 2 x 1 hour with a personal trainer to show me the proper use of the equipment.

    Good luck.



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