this didn't work out today. SOS!

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alereyes
alereyes Posts: 8
in Motivation and Support
i was trying so hard to make this work. i train at the gym about four times a week and the trainer is usually he is really supportive, he tells me when i'm gaining weight and when i look better.
this was working so well but the thing with me, actually the two things with me, are that i eat a lot and that my confidence can be brought up or down really fast. this week i was doing great and the kid i had a crush on said i look better so my confidence was up. then about two days later my trainer said i had to lose two SIZES in two months. that really brought my confidence down so that night i went home and i pigged out on ice cream and today i went out to lunch and starbucks so i really overdid my calories (and no gym today so no compensation)
now i feel so bad and i don't know if me worrying so much about my weight will be a problem now, since i'm only 16. i sure hope not since i've seen people go through it and it's not cool. at all.
what do you think i should do?
:sad:

Replies

  • alereyes
    alereyes Posts: 8
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    i was trying so hard to make this work. i train at the gym about four times a week and the trainer is usually he is really supportive, he tells me when i'm gaining weight and when i look better.
    this was working so well but the thing with me, actually the two things with me, are that i eat a lot and that my confidence can be brought up or down really fast. this week i was doing great and the kid i had a crush on said i look better so my confidence was up. then about two days later my trainer said i had to lose two SIZES in two months. that really brought my confidence down so that night i went home and i pigged out on ice cream and today i went out to lunch and starbucks so i really overdid my calories (and no gym today so no compensation)
    now i feel so bad and i don't know if me worrying so much about my weight will be a problem now, since i'm only 16. i sure hope not since i've seen people go through it and it's not cool. at all.
    what do you think i should do?
    :sad:
  • Cowboy
    Cowboy Posts: 369 Member
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    Remember that people say things to others based a lot on what is going on in their own lives...so if you are always reacting to things that other people tell you, you will always be at the mercy of whatever mood they're in.
    You need to do this for yourself. Listen to your body. Do you feel better? Do you move better? Are your clothes looser? Those are real. No one else can see or tell those things like you can. Other's WILL notice when you lose but did you know that most people don't even notice until you've lost at least twenty pounds?
    When I was diagnosed with Diabetes, I had to drastically change my eating habits. I lost 60 pounds in about six months. It wasn't until I'd lost almost 45 pounds that a single person mentioned that they thought I looked thinner! If I had gone by other's reactions to me, I never would have continued to eat right. As hard as it is, you have to do this and YOU have to be your best friend and cheerleader...and well, we are always here for you too!
    You hang in there, and don't let others make you feel like you aren't doing well.
    Cowboy
  • littlespoon
    littlespoon Posts: 165
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    You really do have to do this for yourself and everything that cowboy says is true.

    One thing I wanted to say is, if you are AWARE that worrying about your weight could be a problem in the future, then you have the choice to make sure it doesnt go that far. People who develop eating disorders dont only have an issue with their body, there are other things involved which they are often unaware of and thats how it gets out of control. You have to take control of your thinking (and i know its not easy) and decide what attitude you want to have towards yourself. Yes you are very young and there are ALWAYS people who are going to be judgemental or disrespectful or insensitive no matter how old you are and you have to understand that its their problem not yours.

    Be strong - get your support from people you can rely on, make healthy eating choices and create some attitude of your own!! You can do it!!

    (Ok i said more than one thing).
  • dhayes
    dhayes Posts: 216 Member
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    Sorry you had a bad day. :flowerforyou: Tomorrow will be better. And wasn't it nice that the young man complimented your weight loss? :wink:

    So it wasn't all bad.

    As for the trainer if he has been good so far , just ask him why he made that comment. let him know it hurt you and your training, he should be appreciative of your honesty. Give him another chance based on his past behavior. If you don't like his answer though FIRE HIM. :angry: He is there to help you not make you feel bad. :frown:

    Good luck and stick with it.:smile:
  • bookworm
    bookworm Posts: 15
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    Are you actually training in a specific sport?

    If you're just trying to lose weight, I think it's ridiculous of your trainer to say such a thing. People are all different. Some can drop two sizes in one month while maintaining a healthy regime, others maintain an even healthier system but lose weight much more slowly. Either way, you should make it clear to him that pressuring you like that isn't constructive and that you want him to focus on you today, not in two months.
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
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    I completely agree with all the responses here! Congrats on your success so far and you can, and will continue. What your trainer did was inappropriate. He probably shouldn't even comment on your weight loss/gain but on your fitness level. i.e. "Wow, you can do a lot more of these than when we first started" or "You have been really working hard lately. Way to go!" Negative doesn't usually motivate people but they react the opposite. If he doesn't apologize and mend his ways, find someone else. You are worth being encouraged! Take care of yourself and keep up the good work :flowerforyou:
  • beautifulbody
    beautifulbody Posts: 3
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    okay, so drink some water, go to bed, sleep it off. Have a great day tomorrow with your nutrition and your workout, and what your trainer said will seem really small compared to what you are able to accomplish on your own. When people say meaningless things that don't help you feel great about yourself, picture yourself wrapped in a little bullet proof bubble, the words just bounce right off you, instead of staying in your head! Have a fabulous weekend!!
  • kckat96
    kckat96 Posts: 72
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    :smile: I agree with everything that has been said so far. Remember NO ONE knows you like you know you. So be kind to your self (I know it' can be hard sometimes). Everytime you look in the mirror find something really great about you that you like and say out loud I love the way.....(example: my pants fit today or my hair has that windblown look.) Always find something good....never bad. Be your own best friend....best frinds love us and always tell us how REALLY GREAT WE ARE. I love best friends so I will be your best friend....You LOOK GREAT! Keep up the good work! Hugs from kckat96:drinker: :flowerforyou: :heart:

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