Q for the men

cabul3
cabul3 Posts: 210 Member
edited September 29 in Health and Weight Loss
i live with my boyfriend.

usually we have, uh, "cuddle time" every other day, max 2 days in between.

now all of a sudden it's been almost a week! :o(

we haven't had a fight or anything. he's still generally affectionate, altho i would rate it at 85% right now.

any thoughts/explanations?

Replies

  • fishbrain976
    fishbrain976 Posts: 35 Member
    you lived with your bf, that is the problem.

    getting too much of it can leads to boredom. you probably need to spice things up a bit.

    and get to know the bad habits (especially hygiene) of your partner after living together will be turn off...
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member


    and get to know the bad habits (especially hygiene) of your partner after living together will be turn off...

    Haha, is that why married people "never" have sex? ;)

    OP, have you talked to him? Worn lingerie? Pounced on him? :)
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
    Not a guy but I've been happily married to one for 9 1/2 years (LOL). IMO it ebbs and flows and we have a very active "cuddle" life ;) Very rarely do we have a spell where we don't have it 3-4 times a week but it happens, stress, work, feeling sick, tired etc, can all be part of it.

    It's not a big deal really and if you walked in with nothing on it would probably snap him out of it ;) Be aggressive.
  • hstallings13
    hstallings13 Posts: 306
    bump
  • anna_lisa
    anna_lisa Posts: 486 Member
    GRRRRRRRRRRRRR i say be aggressive too.
  • chrisfnet
    chrisfnet Posts: 83
    Speaking as a guy, but one who doesn't know your husband... my advice to you would to be forward. Tell him what you want, or make the first move...

    The idea of a woman wanting you and showing it should snap any guy out of his "funk."
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    Some married people have plenty of sex! ;)

    OP, what's going on in his life? Has it been a stressful week or anything like that? Fatigue, illness, distractions, worry, there are all kinds of things that could cause a person not to feel "in the mood". Does he brush you off if you try to initiate? If so it may be time to gently bring it up and see if anything is wrong. If you haven't tried to initiate and want to be with him, go get him! We've been married for almost 20 years and if I want some time with my DH I have no problem initiating things. We flirt all day long via text so when he gets home he knows what he's in for! (And yes, we have four kids so kids and marriage are not a death knell for the sex life. Ours is fantastic if I do say so myself! )
  • fishbrain976
    fishbrain976 Posts: 35 Member

    Haha, is that why married people "never" have sex? ;)

    Not never... but maybe less, especially when need it :) So now, you did it when you need it, not because you feel like it :)
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member

    Haha, is that why married people "never" have sex? ;)

    Not never... but maybe less, especially when need it :) So now, you did it when you need it, not because you feel like it :)

    Haha, I was being sarcastic! Married people are FREAKY. :laugh:

    knittnponder, text messaging is great for that! :bigsmile: My bf and I have a long distance relationship for the next few months and it helps soooo much.
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
    Has he pushed you off when you're trying to get some nookie? If you're waiting for him to start things up, then how about taking an aggressive role instead? Guys dig that.
  • anna_lisa
    anna_lisa Posts: 486 Member
    actually you can look it up
    but


    married people have more sex than non- married typically.
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
    Only unmarried people assume that happily married people aren't having sex ;)
  • icandothistrish85
    icandothistrish85 Posts: 116
    DO NOT listen to the people that are bad-mouthing marriage and live-in relationships. I've been with my husband since I was 14, I'm 26 now, we're having more sex now (the most recent 5 years; it's averaging about 4-5 times a week, sometimes twice a day) than we've ever had before. As he's aged (he's 30 now), his body has gotten strong, more muscular than it was when we were teens, his stamina is amazing and he's a great listener when I talk to him about my likes & dislikes. Open honesty and communication has been the stepping stone to the sexual success of our relationship.
  • icandothistrish85
    icandothistrish85 Posts: 116
    Some married people have plenty of sex! ;)

    OP, what's going on in his life? Has it been a stressful week or anything like that? Fatigue, illness, distractions, worry, there are all kinds of things that could cause a person not to feel "in the mood". Does he brush you off if you try to initiate? If so it may be time to gently bring it up and see if anything is wrong. If you haven't tried to initiate and want to be with him, go get him! We've been married for almost 20 years and if I want some time with my DH I have no problem initiating things. We flirt all day long via text so when he gets home he knows what he's in for! (And yes, we have four kids so kids and marriage are not a death knell for the sex life. Ours is fantastic if I do say so myself! )

    Other than what I wrote, she put it BEST! Sounds like a mirror image of me and Derrick on a daily basis LOL, we even flirt via Facebook, Twitter and MFP! LOL
  • cabul3
    cabul3 Posts: 210 Member
    THANKS for all the feedback!

    my guess is he's tired; it's been a long week for him. he knows that i'm always ready to go for him!! i'll give it a few more days, remind him i love him, and then if he still doesn't seem interested, i'll ask him if he's ok / what's up!

    :o)
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