Is Balance a real concept?

trejon
trejon Posts: 203
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
My job is one in which I only have to work ten months a year. For the past 11 years, I have gone to the office daily and found things to do in summer as to not have to be home. Mid-May we moved from a rural environment to a much larger city closer to my job. This summer I got the great idea to take some time for me and just hang out at home. This is the worse mistake I have made ever. In less than two months, I have gained 13 pounds. I have come to the realization that me time is just that - me being a mother and wife nothing other.

Here is my question can be lonely cause you to gain weight or lead to depression? My thinking is that I have been in this area going into my 12th year and I really have no friends. Now I have people that I work with and are very friendly with (during the work hours - lunches, functions and talking). However once the workday is over that relationship is over. My husband has tons of friends that he does things with all the time but I do not. So when I am not working then only thing else I have is my child and food. I so wish I could get as tired of food as I do of my four year old at times but nope eating is what I do. I will hit 4-5 fast foods in a day just to see other people. Pretty much my life is my kiddo and me. Does people really lead balanced lives?

All my other stages in life I had tons of people that liked me and we were always doing something. Seems like I found the great job, married and had a child and all the fun in my life just stopped dead in its track. Um so depressed and so lonely. Is this what your 40's are? If it is, I need to suck it up. However, just seems like everyone is having fun and the good life but me. Seems like I have lost the fun me with gaining the Job - Mother - Wife title. No lie since my kid was born in September of 2006 I have not had one me day, only one girls night out (2 hours), and never gone out of town with my kid. Um really starting to resent my life.............................................

Depressed not suicidal - love me too much and not that selfish just in case someone reads a little too much into this letter :smile: .

Replies

  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    GIRL! www.meetup.com

    That was me just a couple of years ago. You'll meet some weirdos, but I've made some life long friends too :)
  • FabOma08
    FabOma08 Posts: 500
    Balance is definitely possible! I do recognize your story though! You might want to consider joining a family friendly gym. If there's a Spectrum in your area they have lots of kids stuff to do and you'd get some real "me" time, plus possibly meet some friends with the same interests! You absolutely must find that time to find yourself and your "fun spot" I wasted way too much time just "taking care" of everybody, and I really did grow to resent and be angry with my family.
  • FabOma08
    FabOma08 Posts: 500
    GIRL! www.meetup.com

    That was me just a couple of years ago. You'll meet some weirdos, but I've made some life long friends too :)


    I joined meetup.com a couple of years ago! Yep, there's some weirdos but I found several groups of people I really enjoyed hanging out with!
  • AEcklar813
    AEcklar813 Posts: 184 Member
    I Hear you. I'm only 23, I have a 2 yr old, and i'm a stay at home mom. Before coming on here I used to eat constantly. I also don't drive so I can't really get away from the house too much. What has helped ke to feel better and to socialize with adults has been church. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter but sometimes you ca n only handle so much 2yr old conversations lol. My husband and 8 belong to a small group at church. We're all about the same age and some of us have kids, others don't. But we make it a point to get out together once a month. Even with the kids. We don't have any family around so we never have a babysitter. I'm glad I at least have these other adults to go out w/ and have fun and talk even if its just on sundays at church and once or twice a month doing something fun like the drive in movies.
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,345 Member
    You asked a question that makes me wonder the same thing, and I am in my 50's. :huh: We have raised our family, and are busy (too busy) with jobs. I do occasionally get together with some female friends for lunch, drinks, etc. But as a couple? We don't go out with other couples. When the kids were in high school sports, we followed their teams and developed some friendships with other parents of the athletes. We have some friends at church, but don't really go out together........Most of the time, our jobs make us so tired, that we are happy to nest down at home with the newspaper, TV, books, etc. But I would like to have more regular adult outings, too! When you figure this out, let me know! I'm afraid I'm getting more and more reclusive.
  • trejon
    trejon Posts: 203
    Thanks to all the ones that have made me a friend on MFP! The deal is that I have allowed my life to lose ME. This did not just happen to me I let it happen and sat back and watched it. Point being that I have to make an effort for myself. I am looking forward to hitting that meet people site up! Just to have someone to chat with about nothing would be more than awesome. Also I am going to join a gym here in the city that has childcare. So what I do not have help with the kid but I do have the money to purchase help.

    Thanks for all the advice and support. Starting tomorrow I am going to make this about me :love: .
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