Self Sabotage

chelseagirlfl
chelseagirlfl Posts: 207 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
I have serious problem with sabotaging my own efforts. It. Has been over 6 months since I have been back to MFP because I do not want to come back and keep restarting and failing. I started last year when my sistr lost 100+ pounds on this site. It was very motivational to see her transformation. I was all set and ready to go but it was like I was fighting myself at every turn. I joined a gym that I could not see my self going to, knowing full well I would never go. After watching my BF loose about 80 pounds from just stopping drinking colas..I think I gave up. I gave up for lots of reasons. My job because of my crazy hours, my mind told me it's so hard to eat right when working a 12 hour shift. I blamed my family because well you know how hard it is to feed your family and eat healthy yourself. you know the sweets and treats you keep for the little one. The impromptu trips for ice cream with the family. The dinners out. I blamed it on my knee that hurts when I started zumba. I did not have the right shoes, so went out and bought 75 dollar zumba perfect shoes and never went back to class. I blamed my weight, because I am sooo heavy I cant exercise properly and I am embarrassed to go to the gym or take a class because I am not fit. There are all these reasons why I did not stay on track. I felt awful and like a failure. So, I ate what I want, and tried not to think about it. I have not gained or lost any weight since I quit logging. I have tried a couple of things like taking phentermine and reading some diets over for consideration like the 6 week make over. The phentermine was me trying to do it easy and my body totally rejected it. The diet plans were just a passing idea. I can't live my life based on the guidelines of a book. I live and work in the real world and have to learn to make the right choices. I make all the wrong choices everyday..the stop at dunkin donuts for the 200 cal coffee or 500 cal bagel that makes me feel like I am somewhat trying. The bad choice of getting take out, and even if getting take out not eating at least a healthy option. The bad choice of watching t.v. For a few hours instead of walking even for 30 min. A day. I do it to myself. I do not give myself the worth to do it for me and I really thought I did not know why. You know that feeling of why, why can't I just get motivated and do it. The frustration on falling off the wagon and the guilt and self loathing of not following through on my plan. I have a very stressful job and I like to fall back on that too alot. You know long day, tired, just need to relax and not think...ugh! That's me...what happened? I am not this person I carry around, the lonely, depressed, hungry, tired, angry woman who hates me. So, what is it? Why do I sabotage myself...I have been thinking about this because it honestly drives me insane. I wrote down a list of the usual suspects...afraid, tired, no self worth, and jokingly I wrote LAZY. it was like I was not thinking when I wrote it. I did not think much about it..until later I went back to my iPad and read my list after reading a few chapters of "awaken the giant within" cause that made me feel like I wasntrying to do something. LAZY, it is an embarrassing thing to admit. But I am sending it out into the universe in hopes that someone will understand what I mean. LAZY is the little voice that is quietly killing my hopes. I realized I am LAZY so I watch t.v. Instead of walk, I am LAZY so I get carry out instead of cooking healthy, I am LAZY so I snack on garbage at work because I don't prepare snacks to bring, I am LAZY because I don't log my food because I am on FB a few extra minutes and got tired and just went to bed. I have to work on not being LAZY about the other things in my life before I can begin to loose weight. I have gotten Comfortable in not doing anything really and just looking for ideas and reasons why I just can't get motivated. I am a very busy person and never thought of myself as lazy, I work 12 hour days and have a 4 year old and we are always busy and running around...but, in my life when it comes to taking control of my personal needs, I am LAZY. I have no one to blame but myself because I just stopped making the right choices and took the easy route. I am going to work on makingbbettere choices and not being LAZY and start there to change my life. I hear about death and dying every day in my job and I know just how short and fleeting life is, being lazy just wastes precious time that I could be living more healthy and happier. So, if anyone else feels like this drop me a line..I would like to know if anyone has ever felt like this. Thanks.

Replies

  • meggers123
    meggers123 Posts: 711 Member
    wow. it's hard to admit that you have lazy habits. Way to do that and start the long journey to getting healthy. I am definitely a lazy person who would rather curl up with a book that go work out.

    Reading this has motivated me to go for a wun (walk-run), instead of laying down and reading (which I swear I was planning to do). So thank you! and Good Luck!
  • Emartz2
    Emartz2 Posts: 108 Member
    For a minute, I thought I was reading something I had written! I felt exactly like you, until one day I said "ENOUGH EXCUSES" to myself.
    You have to take exercising and eating right one day at a time. Don't hate yourself for falling off the wagon, pick yourself up and start all over again. Eventually, you will enjoy feeling better and looking great! Motivate yourself in anyway possible when you achieve ANY small goal!
    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    I hate the gym, full of pretensious posers ours! I'd rather go for an amble for half an hour or whatever at my own pace, audio boots are good as you don't really pay attention to how far you are walking as you're distracted.

    I feel your pain with cooking, but why not try to make a meal that is healthy for all the family but still tasty? I have a nice lamb recipie that's really simple that I could send you if you like? Chicken is always a good option, ditto white fish, I love salmon but it's quite high in cals.

    We all have times where we thank ah stuff it, the thing is to work through it though, yeah you had an off day, don't beat yourself up, just start again tomorrow. It's taken a LONG time for me to get my mindset right :)

    Good luck!
  • twooliver
    twooliver Posts: 450 Member
    I too work around death and dying every day and I wonder if a part of us feels a bit of survivors guilt...just a thought.

    On another note, I was there too, but something has changed for me. This started when I joined a 6week biggest loser contest at a local doc's office. I told myself that I could do anything for six weeks and I wanted, for once in my life, to see what I was capable of doing if I put all my heart into it. Well, what do you know...I won! This motivated me enough to see what I could accomplish if I kept at it for another few months...and well so far so good.

    Motivation is key here...and I didn't want to wait to have a health crisis to motivate me into action and I was headed there!

    Find something that will motivate you and consider that you don't know what you are capable of accomplishing from where you sit now.
  • chelseagirlfl
    chelseagirlfl Posts: 207 Member
    Exactly!!! I feel like I just woke up...I never would have thought of my self as lazy. But, I am asking myself...is this the best choice I can make? A lot more often.
  • brenda_71
    brenda_71 Posts: 151
    Everything you said makes sense!! I too have found myself being LAZY!! Was doing so good with exercise routine for a long time, loosing weight and making healthy choices. Then I let lifes little downs take over and comsumed myself with that and took away my ME time!! Exercise is my ME time. I just worked out this morning for the first time in a long time and I am SO worth it!! Here's to making good choices girl!! Glad you've come to this conclusion and your getting back on track!! Sending you a friend request, we can do this thing together!! :)
  • LouD76
    LouD76 Posts: 39 Member
    Wow.. reading your post just made me cry... it's like a looking at myself in a mirror..

    I do this to myself too... do well for a while, and then I self sabotage ... I've been doing it to myself for probably the last 10 years.. its like I don't think I am good enough or worth this.. the success of "removing" the extra weight of my body, to be healthy and feeling good...

    I feel your pain.. .

    Begin with small changes first.. come back on MFP, check your calories ever day, make it a habit.. then start a new habit.. every new thing you start, you need to to for at least 4 weeks for your mind and body to see it as a new habit... so don't try do it all at once...

    Baby steps.. one day at a time.. and we will get there...

    Best of luck.. and remember you are awesome and you deserve this.. a new healthier, happy, slimmer YOU!
  • Degator
    Degator Posts: 92 Member
    Sounds to me like you have make a significant break through! Laziness is contagious and it invades all aspects of your life. There is no point in beating yourself up over your break, it is done. It is time to seize the new information that you have discovered and move forward. Best of luck!
  • keash
    keash Posts: 12
    Hiya

    As a personal trainer I come across this a lot, but a big plus and step forward is to admit it to yourself and others and accept you need to change.

    There are a lot of issues in your email but choose one thing to deal with at a time. If you try to change everything you will burn out and "fail" again. Set yourself a small weelly target and a set reward for reaching it, choose something that is realistically possibly for you to achieve in the week. Write it up on here so we can suppport you to achieve your mini goal... remember it only take three weeks to form a habit :-)

    Will send you a friend request and I will help you though this... baby steps at a time.

    :wink:
  • MrsWibbly
    MrsWibbly Posts: 415 Member
    I am also LAZY. But LAZY really is a symptom, and you need to find the cause.

    For me LAZY is a habit that was drummed into me as a child. When I was little I would run and jump and dance and sing and scream and shout and burn off loads of energy. But I was repeatedly told to sit down and be quiet. So now I am very good at sitting down and being quiet and find it hard to let go and jump and dance as there is this nagging voice in the back of my head saying that what I am doing is disprutive and selfish. My parents watch TV all the time (and are both overweight, unfit and suffer for multiple health problems as a result) and this is my worst habit to the point where it is almost an addiction. Yet despite knowing this I can see myself setting the same bad example to my son. I don't play in the garden with him because I am too tired so I tell him to sit down and watch TV. He's not even 2 and already the first thing he wants when he wakes up is a DVD to watch.

    So I know the cause, but I still haven't mastered the cure. To break a bad habit I have to form a new one but trying to undo 40 years of LAZY is hard. Being on MFP help as here is the one place where people I don't even know tell me that just 10 minutes of walking is great. MFP is where I can confess and find support and encouragement. Every small acheivement is rewarded with praise. It makes me feel good about the new habits I am trying to build.
  • chelseagirlfl
    chelseagirlfl Posts: 207 Member
    I have found that also if I get to comfortable it aids my being lazy...someone asked meoday why I wear such baggy clothes, I said cause it's comfortable...she said...yeah, but being comfortable can make t easy to fall off your plan cause you have room to grow in your big clothes...interesting....
  • runner328
    runner328 Posts: 174
    I have found that also if I get to comfortable it aids my being lazy...someone asked meoday why I wear such baggy clothes, I said cause it's comfortable...she said...yeah, but being comfortable can make t easy to fall off your plan cause you have room to grow in your big clothes...interesting....

    That's true. As soon as something get too big I get it altered or I get rid of it. I have also had to break the lazy habit. I have forced my self to take fitness class which I skipped not out of laziness really but out of fear.
  • Kagard11
    Kagard11 Posts: 396 Member
    I am also LAZY. But LAZY really is a symptom, and you need to find the cause.

    I'm with her! Find that cause!!!
  • katattack
    katattack Posts: 45
    Ha ha I hear you Chelsea :) It's ok to be lazy though, no??

    Do you think you're facing some burn-out? Maybe you've been working out too hard, or restricting your food too much...? I used to work at a gym, and so many, many members hit a point where they would say, "I am FRUSTRATED. I am IRRITATED. I DRAG myself to the gym EVERY DAY and I'm not meeting my goals."

    I've become a huuuuuuuuuu
    uuuu
    uuuuuuuge advocate of REST.

    So, my weekly excercise regime involves as much meditation as possible. Beside a lake, if possible ;)

    And a little extra mind game for when i'm just actually being lazy: I tell myself "I can't WAIT to go for a run! It's going to be sooOoOoOo much fun" :P Or, "I feel lazy now, but I'll feel refreshed and peppy if I even work out for 30 minutes today!"

    Ohhhhhh i'm such a chronic advise-giver. Don't listen to me. I'm a die-hard optimist. It makes my friends/family sick ;)
  • JWALL101
    JWALL101 Posts: 60
    I am right with you! My job, my family, my blood pressure meds. I just need to get my butt in gear and make it happen. But it has to work with my life and my schedule. I do not want to let weight loss take over my life. I want it be a part of my life. Hang in there bi work 10-12 hour night shifts as a truck driver. So getting to the gym is next to impossible unless I give 3 or 4 hours sleep. You are one of my original friends on my list I got your back just drop me a line whenever you want.
  • Majunta
    Majunta Posts: 575
    I get it! When your job is so stressful, it's hard to come home and make good choices AND exercise. All you want to do is plop in the chair, zone out and not think or for me not talk!!! I so get it. But.....tha'ts the first step to "I just don't care" thought process. Self sabatoage is just another form of poor self love. YOU are worth the time it takes to prepare food for work; YOU are worth taking the time to find health, good family foods; YOU ARE WORTH IT.

    Always remember, (from WiiFitFan MFP member) “Dust yourself off and begin a new day. The past does not equal the future. You are strong and you can do this and you have taken a big step today just talking about it.”

    Feel free to friend me.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Whatnow50
    Whatnow50 Posts: 93
    I too suffer with self sabotage... it's a constant battle. I know it's wrong, I think I understand the reasons I do it but then let it happen again. Where is the switch so I can flip it and stop this?! Would be interested in being friends with any of you that experience this too.
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