Lather, rinse, repeat, and repeat, and repeat.........

I've been here, I've tracked, I've had friends, I've quit. And then some time passes and I get fed up and think, OK, it's time to start again. Same thing.
So I don't know that this is going to make a bit of difference, but I have been thinking about things a little differently. Instead of thinking that I need to make myself stick with the program, I am thinking more along the lines of , why not? There is no reason why I can't have a trimmer body, and more muscle. No reason at all. I am healthy, aside from the weight problem. I have time. I am a substitute, so I don't work all that much, and I can always say no if I don't feel like it. I have the time and money to prepare and cook healthy foods and snacks, and the time to exercise.
So am I just going to accept that I'm just a big old lazy lout, or am I going to straighten up and take care of this body. The only one I will ever have. I am 53 years old. I know a lot of people of all ages who are battling serious health problems, and I am embarrassed that I struggle with something that is fixable, and they fight with grit and strength and beauty, for their lives. But I sit and eat junk because, oh, I don't feel like exercising, or I'm bored, so I need chocolate. Ugh.
So there is no reason I cannot be successful. I love my life, except that I am too fat. I am dreading next summer because I feel gross in everything. It is a hindrance for doing the things I want to do.
Why not? Why not go for it? Be happy -- be healthy and enjoy my life as much as I possibly can? I know, that there are no guarantees for any of us, so I want to make the best and the most of it, for as long as I can. And hopefully, it is a good, long, healthy life! I don't want to look back and feel like I've wasted it, by avoiding things because I'm too fat.
Sorry for the long post. It always helps me to put things in writing. I would say I'm' starting over again, but I don't really know what I'm starting. I just know that something is going to change.