Husband can make it harder

Reno_Amber
Reno_Amber Posts: 10 Member
edited November 14 in Motivation and Support
I want to go on record that I love my husband. Seriously, next month is wedding anniversary number 19 and most people think we are honeymooners. We are closer and more in love today then ever 19 years ago. That is just the truth for us. The true truth, we are joined at the hip! That actually aggravates some people but I wouldnt want it any other way.

Brad and I are really in sync, he is my true best friend but truth is I want to strangle him in regards to my healthy eating habits. This man supports EVERYTHING I do but eating healthy. Let me explain, he is eating healthy and excercising too. Should make it easier right? Not in our house. See, Brad is super as long as I am cooking and saying lets workout but the second I am just tired, burnt out from coming up with the healthy meals, I JUST NEED A BREAK moment Brad becomes lazy and goes for the junk food. If I say lets eat candy and sugar (example) he is like okay. He will not step up and say no, we are eating healthy, I will cook one night. I now and again need that support. Now and again my super woman cape comes off and goes into the laundry.

Now to be honest and I have mentioned before being LAZY is my weight downfall. I am not a sweets eater. I am not into chocolate and sugar much but fast food, processed food, GUILTY! Quick and easy has turned into FAT and tiring. Being this is my downfall why cant he step up for me? Because lazy is his downfall too. The man works like a dog and lazy he becomes off the clock. Is it fair of me to put him on the clock at home so to speak? Balance, everything is balance. I just need him to wear his cape at home once in a great while for an hour or so I can gain strength from him.

I might not be making much sense here but I just needed to vent because in my brain this is coming out smooth like an ice skating rink ;)

If you understand I would love to hear how you manage when your cape comes off .

Amber

Reno, NV

Replies

  • kerrigregory448
    kerrigregory448 Posts: 4 Member
    I agree it's frustrating when they don't support us when we are weak but really we need to support ourselves. Can you ea. take 2 nights during a weeknight to cook healthy meals?
    My boyfriend,who I live with, walks at lunch and it makes me mad that he has time whereas I don't but then I have to be only accountable for myself. He is good with helping cooking half the week because he knows it's a challenge. Best of luck, hang in there.
  • HippySkoppy
    HippySkoppy Posts: 725 Member
    Have you talked to him about how you feel unsupported and tired of 'leading the way' in this endeavour??

    TBH it sounds as though he is just trying to super supportive of whatever you want to do at the particular time. You want easy meal/treats etc he's got your back...it has probably just not even occured to him that you feel a little let down.
  • DietPrada
    DietPrada Posts: 1,171 Member
    Sounds like my hubby. It's not that he's not supportive, it's just that he goes with the flow. He needs a little direction. He's not confrontational and he likes peace and he's not a mind reader. If I'm doing things one way, and then decide to do something else, it's not in his nature to take charge and try and steer me back on course. He does not know why I have changed what I am doing, and men generally don't ask. But this type of man (the peace keeper) generally takes direction well also. You can't expect them to have a huge amount of initiative or take charge but you can count on them to step up when you say "honey, could you X please, I'm tired/need a break/etc".
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    it is REALLY hard whether or not husband is in the game or not. I started my "first real journey" down this path in April 2011. My husband didn't join in until January 2012. AND we were doing 2 different things. There are days when one of us (or both) would like to hang up the cape and sometimes the other one will follow, and sometimes not.

    We've gotten to the point where we can tell each other about it. The "When I take off my cape, I don't want you to follow suit. In fact, I'd like it if what I did didn't affect whether or not you take off your cape too."

    There are times though where he wants "off" and have popcorn. Nowadays, I'm okay with it. There was a time when I wasn't and had to tell him, "I can't handle you having that tonight - if I smell it, I'm going to want it." So we work something out. Sometimes you have to realize your limitations and be able to talk to your husband about it.

    Just remember this is your journey. Whether or not he's on board is up to him. But it helps if you can explain to him what is helpful to you and what isn't. That way it's less likely he'll "get in the way". Meanwhile your armor gets stronger so that at some point it won't matter what he does because you're on your path no matter what.
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