"SUCK IT!" - Ps. You're totally sexy.

Once again, posted this one on my blog and thought I would share it with everyone!
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Since starting this whole thang, I've noticed a lot of changes physically, but have been equally impressed by those I've experienced internally. I'm well aware that these sexy love handles didn't appear because I asked them to! Years of poor nutrition, judgement and having "better things to do" have amounted in a lot of worry and sadness for me. I recall being a "big girl" for as long as I could remember. I even remember wanting to be a boy as a child because I wasn't a "tiny girl". I thought boys were naturally big and since I was too, I would have been better off being a boy. Luckily (but sad at the time), I grew boobs and couldn't really deny my curves for much longer as a girl. Ha! But I still found ways to cover them up: baggy t-shirts, x-large pants, rounded shoulders, huge sweaters, 2 sports bras…I had it all figured out, man! I rocked this gear for as long as I could. Meanwhile, I was devasted that I couldn't wear cute shorts like all of my friends, or those adorable sun dresses when summer hit. I recall my best friend, Jazz, always telling me that I was beautiful and that she was jealous of my butt and my boobs. And I would tell her the same 'cause she had none of it and could pull off anything. We always joked that if we could, we would love to trade half of what we had in order to equate a perfect body each.

Then girly situations happened where I really couldn't cover any of the parts I usually did. Soccer, volley-ball, and track 'n field all required t-shirts and shorts - Damn. A boy asked me to my high school prom and I didn't want to be his twin and wear a suit - I had to opt for a dress, double damn. All of these small situations amounted to facing the music and displaying my body in ways I wasn't used to - Damn-a-lamn, man! But! Thankfully, all of these situations helped me realized one extremely important thing that has dawned on me lately:

You gotta go with what you've got.

'Cause if you don't, you'll hide behind your baggy t-shirts or the bowl of chips for way longer than you should. And what does that mean? A lot of suck for nothin'. I know what you're thinking "Go fly a kite, Myr." (and maybe I will!). It's easier said than done, and it still takes me a few tries to remind myself sometimes. Buuuuuut, I'm pretty confident that there are no rules, or atleast no books that I'm aware of, that say "If you've got thunder thighs, please ensure that they are not visible to the rest of the world." or "If you're feeling alienated, allow yourself a pint of ice cream." And you know what? It doesn't even have to be weight loss related! "If you're balding, make sure you cover that head of yours with a hat." or "If you've got a crooked teeth, don't ever smile. Thanks." There are NO rules whatsoever, NONE! That say that we need to hide ourselves because of who we are. So, I didn't like wearing dresses 'cause I hated my arm flab. But I bet no one in my class said "Hey Myriam, you should probably not wear a dress, I would hate to see your arm flab giggling all over the place." You see, we make up these crazy things in our head and then confidence and self-worth decide to bail and in comes the pounds for a free vacation and an extended stay. Yes, I am aware that there are social "norms" and all that bull**** that weighs on us (literally), making it difficult to find a sliver of hope. But what I'm trying to get at is that the way you feel on the inside directly reflects the way you feel on the outside. Imagine this for one second: only (and only if!) we could use the energy we waste on hiding ourselves on something way more productive and beneficial to our well-being and health, imagine how happier we would be? Isn't that crazy thought?!

My point is: if you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't like it, then change it. If I could wave a magic wand, or get a wish from a genie in a bottle (specifically the one from Aladdin) I would wish for us to never, EVER, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVARRRRRRRRRRRR, for one second, (DON'T YOU FREAKIN' DARE), think that we are not beautiful/handsome and not worthy of making ourselves happy. Your curves are sexy! Your balding head is hot! STOP HIDING. YOU'RE MAKING EVERYONE MISS OUT ON THE HOTNESS THAT IT YOU. So to all the douchers and Weiner Heads who like to joke on you for counting your calories or for wanting to take a sexy photo of yourself 'cause you're (finally) feeling good about yourself…Take your arms, cross them (one in front of the other in an "X"), then tap the front of your thighs/crotch angrily and say "SUCK IT!". Go on, show everyone how much of a SUPER FOX you are!

Much love,

Myr xo.