Feeling hopeless

minah23 · January 2017

Hey Guys,

I bet many people out there have gone through my current situation so I would like to ask for support and advice..especially since there is nobody around me that I can talk to about that.

Today I am at my highest weight ever, 105kg. It feels terrible, but I do not even try to start another diet because I know at some point I will fail again, like countless times before. How come so many people out there are able to just do it but I cant seem to commit to it?
Am I always going to be that person who is trapped in that kind of body?

There are so many diets and fitness programs, I feel so lost and I really, really don't know where to start... or how to start. I would very much appreciate your advice, please write me a private message if you would like to talk or if you feel the same way. Maybe we can help each other.

I hope I didn't depress anybody with that negative post.
Have a great day if you are reading this.
Jasmin

livingleanlivingclean · January 2017

Your post isn't depressing - no need to apologise!

There is no need to complicate things by thinking you need to follow a certain diet program or fitness routine. Simply eat less calories and move your body more.

It will take time, but you need to be persistent and consistent. You can lose the weight! Start by putting your stats in to MFP to get a calorie goal for weight loss. Make your food fit that.... Don't worry so much about the "right" foods straight away (what is that anyway?) - as you progress you'll work out things to choose that satisfy you better than others.

janice0826 · January 2017

Ill message you

CM_73 · January 2017

Don't be down, I can't remember the figures now, but it's a massively high proportion of dieters that fail eventually, nearly all of them I believe.
One obvious reason, a temporary diet will only ever be just that, and once you get fed up (which you will if it's too restrictive) then the weight just goes back on.
Just do it the MFP way, eat the foods you like at a calorie deficit and the weight will slowly, but far more importantly, sustainably, come off.
You have to accept that it will take time, but no matter how far your goal date is away, that time will roll around whether you're ready or not.
It's beautifully simple really, just track your calories and let time do the hard work for you whilst you kick back and enjoy the results

Beautifully simple, but not necessarily that easy as the mental battle is the tough part! But, you learn that part with time. Plus, reading the success stories on here helps by proving that the system works!

Good luck!

JeromeBarry1 · January 2017

Read this: http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/lack-willpower-might-not-blame-diets-fail/

The problem we all face is in the first world problem of too much food that is too cheap and tastes so good.
Our brains aren't wired to be able to resist.

Instead of 'dieting', choose to live. Live as a person who has 3 good meals each day. Plan each meal so that you get an abundant variety of vegetables, along with fruits, protein, and fiber. Each meal will satisfy your body and brain with nutrition for a few hours, and then your next meal will provide more nutrition. It's a beautiful thing.

As you understand you better than anyone else, you may decide to have more, smaller, meals closer together. That is well. Just plan each meal so that the daily total provides an abundant variety of vegetables, along with fruits, protein, and fiber. It's still a beautiful thing.

courtneyfabulous · January 2017

Lots of people feel hopeless at first- I know I did. I started using myfitnesspal with the thought in the back of my head that "well I'll do this for a while and when it doesn't work at least I'll have the data from my food dairy to show my doctor so they can see I really do defy science because no matter what I do nothing seems to work and neither will this probably..."

Well guess what? It worked!

It really is simple and easy, you just need to enter everything you eat and stay within your calorie goal. That's it!

Try a pretty low loss rate to start like 1/2 pound per week. That will keep your calories higher so it's easier to stick to. Once you can do that maybe change to 1 pound per week loss rate, but you don't need to go any faster than that.

You can eventually add exercise and try eating healthier etc- but for now just focus on entering all your food and staying within your calories. No diet, no exercise program, no big changes.

I promise it will work!

Once you see the numbers on the scale decreasing over time instead of increasing I hope you will find hope. I know that's when I did.

courtneyfabulous · January 2017

Also try adding some friends on here since you feel there's no one in your life right now that can relate- everyone on this app has the same goal as you and CAN relate. The feed is like having a Facebook full of friends that all are in the same boat as you. It helps.

Destinychngr · January 2017

You can add me Minah23, if you would like, for motivation, support and encouragement.

Derf_Smeggle · January 2017

You are very simply not alone with the struggle to change. It's something we all want instant results with, but have to realize takes time.

We are great at sabotaging ourselves mentally. We often have unrealistic goals, or we try doing too much at once. I want to lose a total of 43lbs. I'm figuring 10 months at minimum to get there.

These are things I've learned from others:
Try changing your "lifestyle and eating habits", instead of "going on a diet". Diets are temporary things. Lifestyle and habits are longer term. Set healthier habits a little bit at a time. I'm working on preparing my own food and cutting down on my sugar. The sugar thing is difficult for me.

Experiment with what works for you. Some people thrive on 3 meals a day. Others eat 5 to 7 times a day. I changed my dairy to six 3 hour blocks and I try to hit 5 of them a day.

Some people are all about hitting their macro (carbs, fats, proteins) targets. Others are all about their overall calorie target.

Some people set their weekly target weight loss to a minimum .5lbs/week. Other people set the max 2lbs/week. I set my goal to 2lbs/week, but will often times eat over my target by a little bit. This is why I'm planning my weight loss of 43 lbs to take 40 weeks...

Some people are super strict on hitting their calorie goal every single day. Others allow flexibility (understanding the road will be longer). I fall to the flexible side, but I'm not a circus contortionist.

Keep your eye on the long-term goal. Going over your target one day isn't going to "end it all".

Be critical and precise in your logging. Using a food scale to start with helps with your precision. I'm a bit of a freak with the scale. I weigh my raw ingredients for what I'm cooking and set up a recipe, then weigh the cooked batch for the yield, so I can be ridiculously accurate when I dish up a helping (that also gets weighed).

It's about finding what works best for you. Keep at it.

minah23 · January 2017

Thank you so much for all the support guys

I really appreciate your advice! This community is seriously awesome! You helped me a lot!

chrismellor01 · January 2017

Hi

Never feel alone. You can always post (as you have done) and always talk (which is what you are doing).

Too much weight is a problem many of us face. We have it for numerous reasons and sometimes we just feel completely at a loss for it. We feel like we have no control and helpless. I've been there myself (and sometimes still am).

What to do about it?

Begin with small steps to taking control. Make small choices. No sugar in coffee, go for a walk, take fruit instead of cake. Things like that. Very small. Each time you make a small choice towards your goal, you will take control. When you take control, you will feel good.

Don't sweat the big goals. Break them down into little bits. You can do it.

Big goals can seem unattainable. But - they aren't. They can be reached.

How do you climb a hill? Step by Step. You don't suddenly get to the top of without doing something. Step by step you make the choice to continue. Step by Step - you reach the top. Like anything, you may need to take a few steps back to get around an obstacle, but, Step by Step, you will get there.

Feel free to chat about whatever and whenever. Many on here have big ears & shoulders and hopefully small mouths:)

You can do it:) Step by Step. But you really can.

Chris

Feeling hopeless

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