Taking care of yourself when heartbroken/lonely/stressed/depressed/etc

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Anonymous_fiend
Anonymous_fiend Posts: 196 Member
in Motivation and Support
I suffer from High Functioning Autism. Most of the time I can stick to an ok diary as I like routine (unless I drink). But lately due to stressful emotional events its been more difficult. Harder to want to workout and I feel like eating junk as comfort food. Or the opposite where I have no appetite. I keep telling myself that improving myself is for me and my happiness. But when I lose hope that I'll end up happy I feel like giving up. Goals seem unobtainable. Issues are why I've kept a reasonably healthy lifestyle but keep hindering my process. I can't go to a therapists for 3 weeks since I'm visiting family and just moved across the country...which contributed to my stress. What are your ways of overcoming emotional/mental issues that effect your goals? Motivation tips for emotions and when severely depressed?

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  • donnamcnulty
    donnamcnulty Posts: 12 Member
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    I really don't have any solid advice.. just want you to know someone cares! I'm proud of you for working on this! Don't give up!
    From,
    The Mother of a 16 year old with high functioning autism
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    if severely depressed see a dr first and foremost. I know you will have to find one most likely since you are new to the area correct? when I get emotional/stressed I find something I like to do, or I take a walk or exercise. alcohol will also make your depression worse,its considered what we called back in the day a downer. also write down your feelings in a journal, what you are feeling and how and why, also if you feel like not eating or wanting to eat to comfort yourself. This will help you learn what your triggers are and can possibly help you change that or work through it. severe depression is not easy to get through alone so find someone to talk to as well like a therapist. you may need meds or you may not. But see someone if you can and then go from there.I suffered from depression in the past.hope this info helps you out in some way
  • WickAndArtoo
    WickAndArtoo Posts: 773 Member
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    I don't know if it's feasible for you, but my dogs are what get me out of bed everyday. Since they are an animal that MUST go outside in the morning I have no choice even on the worst of days.

    Since clearly that is not an option for you at this exact moment due to the traveling, I would suggest building off of your strengths-routine. Find something productive to do first thing each morning (I shower as soon as I get up and put real clothes on if I'm not with my dogs then eat breakfast) and build your day off of that. I find that if I journal about what I will eat that day that's healthy I am much more likely to do it, so that might help you to. The beauty of these three things is that they feel good no matter how late you sleep in, so you don't feel the whole day was a loss if depression kept you in bed until 2 pm etc.

    I cut out drinking from my life completely, it doesn't do someone like ourselves any favors. If there is one thing that could derail good choices in a split second it is drinking, not to mention it is a depressant that often causes regret and hangovers.... so regardless of your stressful family issues it's probably best not to go down that route.

    Good luck and know you are not alone.
  • Anonymous_fiend
    Anonymous_fiend Posts: 196 Member
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    Thanks for the advice:). Ill probably start journaling soon to help with my emotions. As for meds and a therapists I'm trying to find one but won't be able to go until I get back in state in 3 weeks bc of insurance. I do have an emotional support animal which makes me get up. But aside from eating healthish, walking, and doing my daily routine I find it hard to do stuff. But once I get back ill try joining some groups or something to make friends. Having a limited support system sucks but at least mfp has kept me accountable to my diet/exercise. I should probably stop drinking, and have to when I get off meds. Right now when I hang out with people I get so nervous I selfmedicate with alcohol. Which isn't healthy but I've been working on drinking less frequently.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    miritikvah wrote: »
    Thanks for the advice:). Ill probably start journaling soon to help with my emotions. As for meds and a therapists I'm trying to find one but won't be able to go until I get back in state in 3 weeks bc of insurance. I do have an emotional support animal which makes me get up. But aside from eating healthish, walking, and doing my daily routine I find it hard to do stuff. But once I get back ill try joining some groups or something to make friends. Having a limited support system sucks but at least mfp has kept me accountable to my diet/exercise. I should probably stop drinking, and have to when I get off meds. Right now when I hang out with people I get so nervous I selfmedicate with alcohol. Which isn't healthy but I've been working on drinking less frequently.

    order virgin drinks they will never know the difference
  • Anonymous_fiend
    Anonymous_fiend Posts: 196 Member
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    Ahh but I'm poor too :(. I simply can't pay $5+ for a sugar loaded drink with no alcohol. Sometimes I do get tea/diet soda instead though. Honestly I don't pay for drinks much but have them bought for me or at house parties.Trying to get out of the free alcohol doesn't count mindset. And my problem with alcohol is that I use it for social anxiety.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    miritikvah wrote: »
    Ahh but I'm poor too :(. I simply can't pay $5+ for a sugar loaded drink with no alcohol. Sometimes I do get tea/diet soda instead though. Honestly I don't pay for drinks much but have them bought for me or at house parties.Trying to get out of the free alcohol doesn't count mindset. And my problem with alcohol is that I use it for social anxiety.

    dont know what to say except for maybe avoiding places like that? or telling people to get you a virgin drink and go with them to make sure it is.? I cant say get over the anxiety because It harder than that I know I used to be like that. took me years to get over it.But then for me I dont go to parties as I cant stand drunk people lol(my mom is an alcoholic).
  • WickAndArtoo
    WickAndArtoo Posts: 773 Member
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    I deal with the same issues, all I can say is that from my experience it's worth making the switch to virgin drinks and cutting out alcohol completely. Depending on it for social anxiety is not healthy and won't help you in your endeavors towards a healthier lifestyle.
  • Scotty2HotPie
    Scotty2HotPie Posts: 143 Member
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    I understand the crushing weight of stress. I sometimes almost shut down completely and feel irrational gloom about the future.

    What works for me is taking a step back then write down what's going on (usually work related). Yes, make a list and especially identify issues causing stress. Don't make any judgements or think about fixing anything, just write them down.

    Then, do a quick review. Is this issue critical? Is it really my problem or someone else's. Is there really anything I can really do now? Is this a quick fix or will I need to dedicate some time?

    Finally, prioritize by critical items and also easy items.

    For me, the stress comes when there's multiple issues and tasks ongoing. I'm thinking about everything at once and can't focus. Then I feel overwhelmed and get very stressed and shut down.

    Attacking just a few items at a time and knocking out some easy issues (that may linger otherwise), will help you manage the stress and focus on the big items when you can get to them.

    My dad used to tell me. "Don't stress about the small stuff and its mostly all small stuff"
  • Anonymous_fiend
    Anonymous_fiend Posts: 196 Member
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    I really like the list idea. That way I can work on them and figure out what I can and cannot control. Most of my stress is worrying about things going wrong and not being able to let the past go. Luckily I'm visiting family so that's 2 weeks of no alcohol temptations (except maybe a glass of wine at paint night with my mom). 1 drink in 2 weeks is a start and my goal to start me on a healthy relationship with alcohol. Especially since meds + drinking = a horrible time.

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