Fearful of trying to just gain it back

gooz71
gooz71 Posts: 97 Member
edited November 15 in Health and Weight Loss
How do you get past wanting to give up for fear of just gaining it back again anyway? Only 5% of people actually keep the weight off...so I tell myself, why bother trying. :(
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Replies

  • Fallfrenzy
    Fallfrenzy Posts: 118 Member
    This is a journey and you have to be ready and willing to take it. There is no reward without risk. How do you know you are not part of that 5% who keeps it off? You are automatically placing yourself in the 95% camp without even giving it a shot and bucking the trend.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    In my case, the "Why bother" was a stark choice between a remainder of my obese life on an increasing number of drugs to extend the years of my obesity, and a lifestyle change that would make the remainder of my life longer and healthier.

    It seemed rather easy to chose that I would get healthy or die trying.
  • alid8333
    alid8333 Posts: 233 Member
    edited January 2017
    Here's my two cents. I think people gain weight and realize hmm I've gained some weight and then go on a diet and exercise program. They lose the weight and then think well I did it and give up on tracking calories/exercise and gain it back. They may do this a couple times over a course of a few years. But it will finally sink in that once you lose the weight you can't stop watching calories for maintenance and come to terms this is a lifetime commitment not a quick fix.

    Once one realizes it's a lifetime commitment they will become more diligent on making sure they don't gain the weight back.
  • jennjune2014
    jennjune2014 Posts: 23 Member

    How many of us have started a weight loss or exercise plan, veered off course, and then decided we’ve already “blown it” so then fallen totally off the wagon? If all-or-nothing thinking doesn’t defeat us before we start, it will get us in the end.

    Would you ever tell another person. "You made a mistake, you might as well give up?" Why do we say these things to ourselves.

    None of us are perfect. We are human. Break the all or nothing thinking. Acknowledge your mistake. Get back on the horse and keep moving forward.

    Each day focus on your progress not perfection.

    Wishing you the best,
    Jenn
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    Here's the thing, you can choose to be in the 5% or in the 95%. The choice is completely up to you. Keeping the weight off requires some self-accountability. I weigh weekly (bi-weekly occasionally) to make sure my weight is staying within my range. I exercise regularly. I don't do "cheat days" and on feast days I try to work some kind of physical activity into the day. I walk to lunch instead of riding the shuttle. If I eat out, I try to ride my bicycle to the location instead of driving. These are all choices and though these may not be the choices you need to make, the choices you do make will determine whether you gain weight or keep it off.
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    I can tell you I regained weight because I didn't know about TDEE, and I thought losing weight was about "dieting" and restricting foods which caused me to overeat them later.

    Now that I know I have a limited # of calories I can eat without gaining weight I'm half way to a successful maintenance.

    The other half is taking time (while losing) learning what foods keep me satisfied, what foods are worth eating often, which are worth eating occasionally. I'm learning portion control, whats real hunger what's boredom or stress eating. How to cope with boredom or stress outside of eating. I'm making behavioral changes.

  • gooz71
    gooz71 Posts: 97 Member
    All great replies, thank you for your input!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I think what separates the 5% from the rest, is the "trying". There's something so half-arsed about "trying". Losing and maintaining weight is simple, but still demanding. It's similar, and at the same time totally different, to lots of diffucult things we do - it's basically about "not doing" something (eating, or more correctly, overeating) - but that can be hard if that is something you want to do. It takes a lot of effort, but also a lot of kindness. You have to be committed, create a new normal, and stick to that new normal. It's hard, but it can be done. It's all about making it as easy as possible, even if it isn't easy, and not wanting to do the things that harm you, anymore.
  • missh1967
    missh1967 Posts: 661 Member
    Something important I've learned over the years is to never give up! When we stumble or the stress of life gets to us (and it happens to everyone), don't wallow in the self-pity. Don't cry over spilled milk. Get up, dust yourself off, and get back on the horse!

    When I used to get sidelined by life events and stress eating, I would tend to just throw my hands up in despair. Now I am so much kinder to myself. "Well, I've put on a few pounds - I've been too lax with the eating, not working out. Well, suck it up and get your sh.i.t together." And I do. :)
  • Morgaen73
    Morgaen73 Posts: 2,817 Member
    There is only one person that can determine if you are in the 5% or not and that's you.

    My weight fluctuates at around 100kg-105kg. After the holidays I was at 108kg. I had a choice. I could have said "well see I'm picking it all up again so why the hell even bother" which means that I would probably weigh 162kg by the end of 2017 again. But instead I decided that I was going to work my *kitten* off and so now I weigh 103kg.

    The choice is yours. It depends on how determined you are to do it. Is it difficult? of course it is. I'm constantly hungry and I want to murder people that eat anything remotely unhealthy near me BUT if it was easy we wouldnt have any overweight people would we?

    You can do it but only you can decide to start and only you can decide to carry on.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    gooz71 wrote: »
    How do you get past wanting to give up for fear of just gaining it back again anyway? Only 5% of people actually keep the weight off...so I tell myself, why bother trying. :(

    Well, I tell myself I am better off now than I was. If I don't try then I certainly won't have the quality of life I want. If I am looking at the numbers and honestly trying then I am not going to regain large amounts of weight. It is in my control.

    Did you drop out of high school because you read 6.5 % of students drop out? Did you think "why bother trying"? If 6-7 of every 100 students are expected to drop out why would one automatically be you?

    Are you doing something unsustainable long term to lose and maintain weight? Do you havea plan for maintenance?
  • bethanyka
    bethanyka Posts: 159 Member
    edited January 2017
    I just listened to a Tony Robbins seminar... "there's no 'try'.. there's just 'do'" !!!!

  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    edited January 2017
    That statistic used to intimidate me too- but then I realized its because 95% of people who lost weight didn't bother to follow it up with a MAINTENANCE plan. They just lose the weight, think they're "done" and then go back to old eating habits and unhealthy lifestyle so it comes back.

    Or they lose weight the wrong way which sets them up for rebound weight gain. When you crash diet or lose weight too fast you lose muscle mass and lower your metabolism and that makes it much harder to maintain a healthy weight, and is also the reason some people end up gaining even more back.

    You can avoid both these scenarios by losing weight in a healthy way and then staying focused on maintenance once you reach your goal weight. Research "reverse dieting" as well so you know how to get back to maintenance calories after losing weight. Don't stop using myfitnesspal once you are finished losing weight either- just change your calorie intake but keep on tracking food and keep tracking your weight as well and you'll be one of the successful 5%!
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    edited January 2017
    courtneyfabulous wrote: »
    That statistic used to intimidate me too- but then I realized its because 95% of people who lost weight didn't bother to follow it up with a MAINTENANCE plan. They just lose the weight, think they're "done" and then go back to old eating habits and unhealthy lifestyle so it comes back.

    Or they lose weight the wrong way which sets them up for rebound weight gain. When you crash diet or lose weight too fast you lose muscle mass and lower your metabolism and that makes it much harder to maintain a healthy weight, and is also the reason some people end up gaining even more back.

    You can avoid both these scenarios by losing weight in a healthy way and then staying focused on maintenance once you reach your goal weight. Research "reverse dieting" as well so you know how to get back to maintenance calories after losing weight. Don't stop using myfitnesspal once you are finished losing weight either- just change your calorie intake but keep on tracking food and keep tracking your weight as well and you'll be fine.

    I think the bolded is absolutely key.

    Most people go in without a plan..they just try the latest fad/diet/whatever to get the weight off quickly. Then, when they get to where they want to be, they seem to think that their weight will just stay constant once the extra pounds are gone, and they can go back to "normal". That's not how it works, though..as with most things in life, if you set goals, and have a plan for what to do once you hit those goals, you're far more likely to be successful long term.

    You also have to want to lose the weight more than you want the excess food, etc...

    But of course, if you don't try to begin with, your failure rate will always be 100%.
  • EatingAndKnitting
    EatingAndKnitting Posts: 531 Member
    The 5% statistic comes from a study done in the 1950s where they put 100 people on a diet in the hospital and then turned them loose after the weight was lost without giving them nutritional guidelines for how to eat at maintenance. Of course 95% of them gained the weight back.

    http://www.nytimes.com/1999/05/25/health/95-regain-lost-weight-or-do-they.html

    We know better now. The National Weight Control Registry tracks over 10,000 people that have lost at least 30 pounds and kept the weight off for at least a year. It can be done, you're in control.

    http://nwcr.ws/
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Really? You know that it's really all up to you right?
  • cake91
    cake91 Posts: 46 Member
    gooz71 wrote: »
    How do you get past wanting to give up for fear of just gaining it back again anyway? Only 5% of people actually keep the weight off...so I tell myself, why bother trying. :(

    I think of it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. It took me two years to change my lifestyle and eating habits. This was the key thing for me.
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    bethanyka wrote: »
    I just listened to a Tony Robbins seminar... "there's no 'try'.. there's just 'do'" !!!!

    "No, try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try." - Yoda
  • 3rdof7sisters
    3rdof7sisters Posts: 486 Member
    I know that for me, when/if, I get to maintenance, I will have to keep on monitoring my weight and food intake.
    You are correct, the odds are staggeringly against most of us keeping the weight off, but like my father used to say, "can't never tried".

    All any of us can do, is try.
  • Mini_Medic
    Mini_Medic Posts: 343 Member
    Do yourself a favor and use that harrowing statistic to kick your butt into committing and never slipping back into old habits. The fear will be a great motivator.
    Take it from me, who hit goal after losing 40lbs and the regained it all and then had to lose it all again. I'm back at my goal, -40 lbs again and the secret this time to keeping it off was never wanting to hav to go through the pain in the *kitten* process of losing 40lbs for a third time. I have nicely kept myself in check when I am tempted to overeat simply by forcing myself to relive what I've been through, twice.
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    Mini_Medic wrote: »
    Do yourself a favor and use that harrowing statistic to kick your butt into committing and never slipping back into old habits. The fear will be a great motivator.
    Take it from me, who hit goal after losing 40lbs and the regained it all and then had to lose it all again. I'm back at my goal, -40 lbs again and the secret this time to keeping it off was never wanting to hav to go through the pain in the *kitten* process of losing 40lbs for a third time. I have nicely kept myself in check when I am tempted to overeat simply by forcing myself to relive what I've been through, twice.

    Can someone explain to me what "*kitten*" means? I keep seeing it but it never seems to fit the context and it doesn't show up in the slang dictionaries.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    *kitten* that noise. I'm not like everybody else. (Points if you're old enough to get that.) I'm a snowflake who plans to be wiping her own *kitten* as long as possible. Building habits that I can live with will make a difference.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    TimothyFish wrote: »
    Mini_Medic wrote: »
    Do yourself a favor and use that harrowing statistic to kick your butt into committing and never slipping back into old habits. The fear will be a great motivator.
    Take it from me, who hit goal after losing 40lbs and the regained it all and then had to lose it all again. I'm back at my goal, -40 lbs again and the secret this time to keeping it off was never wanting to hav to go through the pain in the *kitten* process of losing 40lbs for a third time. I have nicely kept myself in check when I am tempted to overeat simply by forcing myself to relive what I've been through, twice.

    Can someone explain to me what "*kitten*" means? I keep seeing it but it never seems to fit the context and it doesn't show up in the slang dictionaries.

    The kitten filter automatically censors naughty words. Try it, you'll like it.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    heres my experience. I used to be the kind of person who if things didnt go right would say F it and give up.the only thing I have never given up on is my marriage,my kids and my weight loss. I started my journey almost 5 years ago. I was overweight, couldnt do much of anything, got out of breath easy,took so many meds it wasnt funny and so on.for years I thought, I dont care about being fat because everyone still loves me for me, problem was I got to the point I started hating myself and how I felt. I would keep saying "I need to lose weight,I need to get moving" hubby kept telling me"dont say it and do it,until then quit complaining about being overweight as its not getting you anywhere".

    Thats when I decided it was time. now almost 5 years later while Im not where I want or need to be,Im in better health/shape than I was,I feel better,sleep better(although not the greatest),dont get out of breath like I did just from a short walk or just doing daily activities. I know that if I give up and dont continue that I will gain all that back and then some and be back to where I started. I will probably need more meds and my health will deteriorate because of it. That is what motivates me to keep going,not only for me but for my family. I know what it will take to gain it back and Im not willing to go there.Its not worth going back to.I have wanted to give up many times because I didnt lose enough weight in the time frame I wanted,I actually lose it slower than most people due to health issues and it gets frustrating,but I still lost weight and Its what keeps me motivated to not give up.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    3rdof7sisters wrote: »
    I know that for me, when/if, I get to maintenance, I will have to keep on monitoring my weight and food intake.
    You are correct, the odds are staggeringly against most of us keeping the weight off, but like my father used to say, "can't never tried".

    All any of us can do, is try.

    my dad used to say that too
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