Suffering with BED

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Im 18 and I have BED (binge eating disorder). I've had it for about 3 years now. I remember my weight being 175 when I was 15 and I thought I was fat. I looked at myself and hated what it looked like. I never wanted to eat.. in my head. I say that because I would then turn around and catching myself eating. But it wasn't like small snack here and there. I started eating when I was bored. Everytime food even poped in my head I would go and get a meal. I would walk through my kitchen to put a dirty dish away or even near the kitchen to put papers up and I would open the fridge and get more food not even having that to be my plan or food being on my mind.. I'm eating without realizing it. My mom said that she use to catch my sleep eating when I was about 15-16. The other day I made dinner for my husband and I and when i looked at my plate it was empty. Literally not even 2 minutes into the meal and my husband was just adding hot sauce to a full plate. Then I looked at myself and hated myself and went and got more. I don't know why this is happening. I HATE this. I don't want to eat but my body won't stop. I really need some help and advice on what to do. This is driving me insane.

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  • fiberopticjellyfishmfp
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    First, you're not alone. Tons of people have BED including myself. My advice would be to see a therapist. They can give you some tools to cope with your disorder that will help immensely.
    You can also try to redirect your attention when you're feeling hungry. Try journaling about how you feel and why you want to eat. Drink some water, maybe exercise. But the most important thing you can do to help is talk to a professional.
  • myhero22716
    myhero22716 Posts: 11 Member
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    I've been in the metal hospital 13 times in the past 1.5 years for this and nothing has helped. I need advice from people that actually have suffered through this and know what this is like. Professional help has gotten me no where. That's why I'm asking for help here.
  • myhero22716
    myhero22716 Posts: 11 Member
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    I've been to a therapist since I was 14 and they all just look at me like I'm crazy and try to throw me on depression pills which make me gain more weight. Maybe it's the doctors from where I'm from?? I just moved to a completely different area/state but Im still struggling with insurances.
  • cloverdaisy
    cloverdaisy Posts: 64 Member
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    YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!! I've had it for about 7 years now. I recently found high protein diet really helps! :smile:
  • fiberopticjellyfishmfp
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    People who have been through it can help support you, but we can't tell you "Do X and you'll get Y result". The things I mentioned previously such as the journaling or drinking water when you want to binge have helped me, but it may be different for you. Also if you overeat, log it and move on. Hating yourself isn't getting you anywhere. Just yesterday I ended up with a grand total of 2400 calories after I did well all week sticking with my calorie goal. It happens even to those without BED. Learn to love yourself. That doesn't mean love yourself when you're at a weight you want to be. It means love yourself now and doing good things for your body, not harming it.
  • myhero22716
    myhero22716 Posts: 11 Member
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    That what I wanted was advice on how other people with BED find the tricks. my therapists wouldn't give me tricks or anything. They just told my mom to put a lock on everything. They wouldn't help me and instead avoided me and put a circle around me. I said they because it was multiple therapists. That's why I said I need to talk to people that actually went threw this. I know not everything will help me that others are suggesting. I know that it won't solve my problem completely. But at least I would have some different tips and find what is best the works for me and I can move on and work within myself. I don't hate my self but more as my head. I have learned to deal with how my body looks and I don't like it but I deal with it and it's fine to me. My head is what I hate because I genuinely want to loose weight. I genuinely do not want to eat unless it's an actual family meal but I can't. It's like my head erases what I just said and gets food 2 seconds later.
  • greeder1
    greeder1 Posts: 13 Member
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    Keep trying to find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and BED in particular. There is help out there.
  • myhero22716
    myhero22716 Posts: 11 Member
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    medic2038 wrote: »
    I've been to a therapist since I was 14 and they all just look at me like I'm crazy and try to throw me on depression pills which make me gain more weight. Maybe it's the doctors from where I'm from?? I just moved to a completely different area/state but Im still struggling with insurances.

    Honestly I'd try to find a good psyCHOLogist, what you're describing is unfortunately the MO for a lot of psychiatrists. You should be able to find one in your area (assuming you're in a somewhat urban area) that specialized in eating/body image disorders and the like.

    I plan to once I get a decent insurance that will cover me.. but for now I just wanted to hear tricks from other people that have suffered from it....
  • mohawkRN
    mohawkRN Posts: 40 Member
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    Agreed with all above about the professional advice, but as far as "tricks" and support, is there a support group in your area? Could you try searching for an Overeaters Anonymous group in your area? Sorry if this advice isn't helpful, but I'm wracking my brain to try and help you. My mother has been doing OA and has loved it for the social support. Or find a clinic that specializes in eating disorders. I know that usually mean anorexia/bulimia, but it's possible that they have some resources that can help. Sending good vibes your way! I'm so sorry that you're suffering, and I sincerely hope that you can get this figured out.
  • myhero22716
    myhero22716 Posts: 11 Member
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    mohawkRN wrote: »
    Agreed with all above about the professional advice, but as far as "tricks" and support, is there a support group in your area? Could you try searching for an Overeaters Anonymous group in your area? Sorry if this advice isn't helpful, but I'm wracking my brain to try and help you. My mother has been doing OA and has loved it for the social support. Or find a clinic that specializes in eating disorders. I know that usually mean anorexia/bulimia, but it's possible that they have some resources that can help. Sending good vibes your way! I'm so sorry that you're suffering, and I sincerely hope that you can get this figured out.

    I haven't heard from any but I'll try to find one! And thank you for that. I haven't even though about a support group. Thank you. So much!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    edited February 2017
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    Thanks for sharing this. It's important that you get professional help from someone who specializes in BED. I also agree that Overeater's Anonymous is a great group to provide support. :)
  • leejoyce31
    leejoyce31 Posts: 794 Member
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    I've been to a therapist since I was 14 and they all just look at me like I'm crazy and try to throw me on depression pills which make me gain more weight. Maybe it's the doctors from where I'm from?? I just moved to a completely different area/state but Im still struggling with insurances.

    Some other threads mention taking medication for BED. Look up the threads. I think some mention a medicine called Vyvanse. I'm not knowledgeable about this but maybe medicine can help. This isn't an antidepressant from my understanding.
  • kittykarin
    kittykarin Posts: 104 Member
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    Definitely try Overeaters Anonymous!! They have great literature and wonderful motivation for help in dealing with food issues. It worked well for me.
  • jnducharme
    jnducharme Posts: 83 Member
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    I saw your post about suffering from BED and having dealt with it from when I was 19- 21 and currently recovered I wanted to offer you what you asked for, advice and coping tips from someone who has gone through it because I understand, your pain, self hatred, helplessness and desperation to be free of this horrible condition. I really do. I am 22 now and happy to say I have recovered and you will to. Here are some of the things that helped me most.

    Learning to talk about it with people who I am close to was one of my first steps towards recovery. While this may seem trivial it really helped to alleviate some of the extreme shame I felt about having BED which is I believe becomes one of the main things that induces binging. While your thoughts might tell you other wise, binging and attachment to food is a mostly an outlet for deeper feelings of insecurity, and unhappiness. I am the kind of person who if I didn't tell someone they would never guess I had it and it definitely hurt my pride to admit I had it because it made me feel like I was weak. However, talking about it helped me realize it really wasn't my fault and that soo many people suffer from the same thing but are ashamed to talk about it.

    I think someone else mentioned this but if you are not finding medical help helpful (although seeing a psychologist would be a good idea and I would try help again in your new city because when I went to a Dr for help they were very kind so it depends on the person) but peer support and eating disorder groups are a great resource. Search your city plus eating disorder in google and it will likely have an organization that is specifically geared towards supporting people with eating disorders for example in my city there is the "Halifax Eating Disorder Association" or Overeaters anonymous. These are usually run by people who have had or are recovering from an eating disorder and they offer things like peer support where you meet with a person who has recovered for mentoring once a week or so or group support where you meet with a group of people with a mentor every week for a period of months and they help you find strategies and give support. I had recovered quite a bit when I found out about this kind of program so I only met with them briefly but a very close friend of mine says they were a really big part of her recovery.

    Do everything to get help as soon as you can try everything. I was too proud and did not seriously look for help and I think suffered longer and wasted so much time than if I had just decided to get help sooner. The thought "I will be better tomorrow" is always there but isn't very effective.

    Do something to boost your self esteem and happiness in the morning first thing if possible. This will help start your day on a positive note and helps put you on the healthier side of the "all or nothing" mentality that comes with BED. For me, exercise was and still is key. I found that on days when I exercised first thing I was much less likely to binge because I felt better about myself. I would suggest yoga, workout video, going for a walk or run anything that gets you moving and feeling good.

    While I know once you are in binge mode it's pretty impossible to stop, drinking lots of water and can tea help. Also if possible not having binge inducing foods in the house and when you are having a meal try to chew for 30 seconds and then take some deep breaths inbetween bites and a drink of water.

    There are many different strategies and things you can try, some may help and some may not, or help for a few days and then stop but I think even if they are not a cure it is important to continue trying something because it will help you maintain hope. I found it was hard to stick to one goal for more than a couple days so having one goal for 3 days then choosing a new one can help to keep you focused and not burn out on that goal.

    I hope this is helpful and remember you are not alone and like my mom told me "this too shall pass".
  • DietVanillaCoke
    DietVanillaCoke Posts: 259 Member
    edited February 2017
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    If you have been professionally diagnosed with BED I hope that the same professional that diagnosed you didn't also make you feel crazy. That's the last thing you'd need but even so you need to find a professional to help you, as many people who suffer from BED have an underling issue which needs to be addressed with proper therapy.

    Until you sort out that underlying issue, it's going to very hard to try to sort out your health and fitness, as the issue can just pop up again and you'll be back to square one, which happen to me too many times... and it hurts =(. As someone who was diagnosed with BED many years ago I can tell you that my tips aren't solely going to help you because my underlying issue will be different from yours but I can give you tips to help with therapy once you get there and once you start therapy I'm even happy to help you with getting on track here =).

    You'll need to be open and honest, every time you binge, don't be ashamed, get a diary and write down what was happening before you binged. What was going through your mind at the time and anything that may have sparked it. Always write in that diary when you binge as your therapist will want to find links.

    Once you know the issue behind it, your therapist will work with you to help you recover and cope with your feelings to binge. For me I started to become more aware of how i was feeling and when I could go off the walls and binge and I was able to go through exercises to help calm myself and stop myself from binging. I had a little mantra where i would stop, think about what i was doing, think about why i was upset and think about how my actions in binging would only make my issue worse.

    Only I could fix this and there was nothing wrong with admitting to needing help at times. The main issue I faced was PTSD and I refused to get help or talk about it for years. Binging led me to find a good psychologist and I got the help I needed and I've been off my medication since August/Sep. My fitness has played a major roll in helping me cope. I tend to have "Bad days" only when i haven't been for a walk. I'm so much more active now, if i want to eat junk food, i make sure it fits into my goals and I learn to accept my fails and try harder everyday. This is something we all have to do for the rest of our lives =)

    Once you're able to sense and feel you might binge you are able to learn to be accountable. You'll have a few days where you might crash but so long as you're able to know what you've done and you can talk about those bumps in your progress with your therapist and you'll be on track. Eventually you won't need to see one as often and they will tell you when you might not need to see them anymore.



    All the best!