Finding your path and encouraging others ...

AngelsKisses75
AngelsKisses75 Posts: 595 Member
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
We are all here for our very own reasons, with our very own plans, our very own goals, and our very own idea of what is and is not healthy. :flowerforyou:

So as we find our way along this ever cluttered, sometimes confusing, often frustrating journey we do so alone, but with the support of our MFP family. :love:

When you see someone doing what you feel is self-destructive … before you even start I am NOT talking about 1200 calories, eating your calories filled with junk, or eating your calories back … we are clear on that I hope. The self-destruction I am talking about is the decision that hey I want to eat whatever I want and as much of it as I can. The self-destructive attitude that no exercise is good exercise, and will avoid games they used to enjoy because they require movement. The person that protests ‘I am happy the way that I am’, but the light of truth never really touches their eyes when they say that. Watching this person gain weight and lose their grip on their health at a scary rate is so very painful. :sad:

How do you react / act when seeing this? What if this person owns a huge part of your heart?:frown:


When you have already spoken your peace, ‘I love you and I am worried’, until you feel like you are beating your head in to a brick wall … what comes next? :embarassed:

Replies

  • hatchhome
    hatchhome Posts: 65
    Unfortunately from experience nothing. You have an option now to continue to love them and show them but continuing to lecture or verbally remind them will only divide them from you. I encourage you to just be a strong positive influence until that time comes around and it does. My wife was on MFP before I was and not until I was ready did I join and it changed my life. Good luck with it all
  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
    I agree with pp. The desire to change has to come from within for it to stick. You can only be a good role model, and a source of support once they decide to change.
  • sharamia
    sharamia Posts: 34 Member
    You can tell somebody, "I love you and I'm afraid of losing you." You can encourage them to join you when you exercise. After that you have to let go. If you don't you'll end up pushing away the person you love, as they fill with resentment. It's like watching an alcoholic self destruct. You can't stop them from drinking. You can't nag them, beg, them threaten them. I assume you're talking about watching an adult self-destruct with their unhealthy life choices. If that's the case you can make your feelings known, and then, there comes a point where you have to let go.
  • AngelsKisses75
    AngelsKisses75 Posts: 595 Member
    Thank you all! I do try not to nag. I know how it feels to be nagged. I just feel like I am watching a train wreck waiting to happen. I am by far not perfect :noway: I just want the best for her and wish I were able to change this for her before it gets worse. :brokenheart:
  • Whatnow50
    Whatnow50 Posts: 93
    I can relate... I've set a bad example for my kids and they are both over weight as young adults. I hoped they would see my struggle all these years and avoid it themselves but that's not how it has worked out. I worry about them and their health and happiness. I spend more time with my daughter due to my son's work schedule and find myself saying things to her that probably don't help. I have recently pulled back again and am trying to avoid the subject completely while with her. I do ask her to go for walks or to the gym with me but she often isn't interested. Such a struggle for us all. :(
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