Need some support! (Eating Disorder Trigger warning)

madirob24
madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
edited November 15 in Health and Weight Loss
Hello guys, my name is Madison.
In the past I have struggled with anorexia (for about a year). After recovery I became so obsessed with not counting calories and worrying about my weight. I now weigh 185 and have very little muscle.

I am eating 1200 calories a day and not eating after 7:30pm. (My doctor said this is safe so I don't want to hear the 1500 calorie talk.) Thanks!

Replies

  • Giuliaborg
    Giuliaborg Posts: 34 Member
    Hi Madison! I see it can be tricky to start counting calories again after recovering from an eating disorder (well done by the way!!). Are you worried about something in particular? :-)
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    1200c is perfectly fine for a woman, though you needn't worry about the time unless you're inclined to binge if you eat after 7:30.

    As far as the lack of muscle, to preserve what you do have, you'll want to make sure you're getting plenty of protein and it will help to add some strength training, even if only body weight exercises.

    You can do this :smile: Just take care not to take it too far. If you're under a doctor's supervision, you should be fine.
  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    I'm worried about falling into my old patterns, but I'm also worried about gaining weight. I've never been above 150 pounds before.
  • Jules_farmgirl
    Jules_farmgirl Posts: 225 Member
    madirob24 wrote: »
    I'm worried about falling into my old patterns, but I'm also worried about gaining weight. I've never been above 150 pounds before.

    At 1200cal/day you wont gain weight. You will lose. I don't have any experience in an eating disorder, but just wanted to say that I am happy you know this may become a trigger and that you are working with your doctor. Its a very responsible and important thing to do! There are time to time posts of people who do not go this route and assume an online forum will have their magic answer.

    We are here to help and support, but for the true cure, in yourself, you are doing exactly what you should!
  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    Thank you so much!
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  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    madirob24 wrote: »
    Hello guys, my name is Madison.
    In the past I have struggled with anorexia (for about a year). After recovery I became so obsessed with not counting calories and worrying about my weight. I now weigh 185 and have very little muscle.

    I am eating 1200 calories a day and not eating after 7:30pm. (My doctor said this is safe so I don't want to hear the 1500 calorie talk.) Thanks!

    Hi Madison!

    How tall are you? What's your plan to regain muscle?
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    sarahbums wrote: »
    I've been there. I've had an ED for several years and at one point i gained a bunch of weight from drinking. I decided to lose it the healthy way, and for the most part I think I did. I'm just having a hard time stopping losing weight. I'm now technically underweight but I've still been feeling that pull towards my old restrictive behaviors

    It's good that you've identified logging as a potential trigger. For me, to keep from obsessing over food, i only use the 'quick add' feature to track calories and nothing else. And I try to learn to eyeball my portions so I'm not a slave to my food scale for every little thing.

    And yes, 1200 should be fine as long as you're getting enough nutrients. Even eating after 7:30, you definitely won't gain. Good luck!

    I don't have any experience with ED (other than possibly a binge disorder), but I am curious. When you say you're having a hard time stopping, is it because of the number on the scale, the view you see in the mirror? Is it a particular flaw? I've seen several women who've wanted to lose weight while already under and it seems that, maybe, looking into "body recomp" would help? Just giving a suggestion and trying to understand. Hope I didn't phrase any of that offensively.
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  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    It's interesting that the doctor has you on 1200 cals when you're bothered about your lack of muscle. It's just encouraging muscle loss.

    I have a mesmorphic body type so muscle gain is very easy for me
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    To build the pretty muscles, yes, you'd have to eat at or a little over maintenance. Take a peek at this, though:

    uueus3x2l5h0.jpg
  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    sarahbums wrote: »
    I've been there. I've had an ED for several years and at one point i gained a bunch of weight from drinking. I decided to lose it the healthy way, and for the most part I think I did. I'm just having a hard time stopping losing weight. I'm now technically underweight but I've still been feeling that pull towards my old restrictive behaviors

    It's good that you've identified logging as a potential trigger. For me, to keep from obsessing over food, i only use the 'quick add' feature to track calories and nothing else. And I try to learn to eyeball my portions so I'm not a slave to my food scale for every little thing.

    And yes, 1200 should be fine as long as you're getting enough nutrients. Even eating after 7:30, you definitely won't gain. Good luck!

    Thank you! I'm afraid that, like you, I'll have a problem with continuing to wanting to lose weight. I have a problem with comparing myself to what I want to be and not who I used to be
  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    madirob24 wrote: »
    Hello guys, my name is Madison.
    In the past I have struggled with anorexia (for about a year). After recovery I became so obsessed with not counting calories and worrying about my weight. I now weigh 185 and have very little muscle.

    I am eating 1200 calories a day and not eating after 7:30pm. (My doctor said this is safe so I don't want to hear the 1500 calorie talk.) Thanks!

    Hi Madison!

    How tall are you? What's your plan to regain muscle?

    I go to the gym 4 times a week and weight train with a little cardio. I make up for those lost calories.

  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    Also I am 5 6 (ft and in)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    madirob24 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    It's interesting that the doctor has you on 1200 cals when you're bothered about your lack of muscle. It's just encouraging muscle loss.

    I have a mesmorphic body type so muscle gain is very easy for me

    Sorry, but that's not a thing.
  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    madirob24 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    It's interesting that the doctor has you on 1200 cals when you're bothered about your lack of muscle. It's just encouraging muscle loss.

    I have a mesmorphic body type so muscle gain is very easy for me

    Sorry, but that's not a thing.

    Yes, it is. Research it.
  • Sunna_W
    Sunna_W Posts: 744 Member
    Hi Madison - congrats on the recovery and taking the bull by the horns. Just hang in there. It sounds like you are doing all of the right things. Your body will constantly change through out your life. It's an ecosystem. Every day your body is doing something different; it's four elements, earth, air, fire, and water all working in harmony. And just like our earth - every day it's different based on the weather, the time of day and what you do to it. So, to try to be who you were yesterday or last year or three years ago is impossible because you are not that person. You are who you are today. And tomorrow you will be something else again. Your cells change / die every day and after a time you are a brand new you - because you have replaced all of those cells. Look to enjoy the now, today. Nourish your spirit as well as your body. Find your warrior woman and rock that. Just take one day at a time. Good Luck!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited February 2017
    madirob24 wrote: »
    Also I am 5 6 (ft and in)

    I'm your height and just a little more than your weight and wouldn't be able to make it through the day on a mere 1200 calories net.

    However, I do use a food scale and am very confident in my logging and am sure of my Calories In. I can understand not weighing and logging if it triggers you.
  • madirob24
    madirob24 Posts: 9 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    madirob24 wrote: »
    Also I am 5 6 (ft and in)

    I'm your height and just a little more than your weight and wouldn't be able to make it through the day on a mere 1200 calories net.


    I usually make it through the day just fine. I don't feel hungry or anything. I'm vegetarian and eat a lot of low calorie veggies, fruits and eggs. Idk if that helps me.
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