Bariatric patients can fall off the wagon too

JustKate58
JustKate58 Posts: 5 Member
edited November 15 in Introduce Yourself
Hello,
I am a 4 year out Bariatric patient who originally lost 82 pounds after having a vertical sleeve procedure. Moved out of state and stopped doing what I should which is weighing my food and making good choices. Put on 35 lbs and had not reached my goal weight so now I have 35 plus the 30 more I originally wanted to lose. Not looking for sympathy. Just saying that the surgery is not a quick fix, just like any program you have to commit and stay focused and be your own best cheerleader. Good luck to all.

Replies

  • mikerouse
    mikerouse Posts: 33 Member
    I am down to have surgery some point later in the year, maybe. Falling off the wagon post surgery worries me. Interesting to hear experiences. How did you fall off? Habits or was there something more specific?
  • JustKate58
    JustKate58 Posts: 5 Member
    Hi Mike,
    I am 4 years out from having the Vertical Sleeve. Kept most of the 82 pounds off until we moved to GA two years ago. First year I did ok but then I wasn't weighing my food, and I started drinking with my meals. That is a big no no. Next thing you know instead of snacking on healthy stuff I am eating whatever my husband is eating. Nope cannot do that. Not saying you can never have anything again that is not healthy but when you are doing it every day pretty soon the weight goes up. I also stopped exercising regularly. Because it is hot and cold here. So I had my husband put my elliptical up and I have started using it almost daily, and I dance just because I like too and it burns good calories. I will give you the best advice I can. The surgery is not a quick fix. Don't let anyone tell you that you are taking the easy way out as it is damn hard work. You still have to exercise and you have to weigh and measure your food. You have to be careful when you eat with others that you are mindful of when you are full. Because if you don't you can throw up the too much food with out any warning and that is embarrassing. I would do this surgery again in a New York minute because I believe it saved my life. I am 5 feet tall and at my heaviest I weighed 266. You can imagine what I looked like and all that fat was sitting on my stomach which means it was crushing all my organs. If you decide to have the surgery do it for you and no one else. Get into a good Bariatric support group. If your plan doesn't offer one check with Kaiser as their meetings are free to anyone. You will need good support because things will come up that your family and friends can't answer and they sure as hell will not understand. Please feel free to friend me and I promise to support you in whatever you decide to do. I know this is long but you asked! :) PS Choose carefully who you tell about your surgery. Most will be supportive but some will not be and you are going to be going through a HUGE life change. You are going to need all the loving support you can get. I was lucky, I surrounded my self with a great friend and family group and I am still friends with most of my support group. They will become a new family for you. Good luck!
  • highlightshadow
    highlightshadow Posts: 116 Member
    mikerouse wrote: »
    I am down to have surgery some point later in the year, maybe. Falling off the wagon post surgery worries me. Interesting to hear experiences. How did you fall off? Habits or was there something more specific?

    I was so set on have the sleeve done but the more i think carefully the more i am convinced that it solves nothing.
    You can cheat, especially with the sleeve, it depends on what kind of food you eat today to make you the weight you are.... i know for me it was snacks and other calorie dense food i would sneak all the time....

    A sleeve would still allow me to do that.... if you sit down and eat a whole chicken, 2 dozens roast potatoes, and a crap load of other stuff and binge eat then yeah ... it might work better...

    I realised that this entire problem boiled down to tackling my mind.... my thoughts, feelings, the 'why'..... its hard ... i'm coming to terms with a lot ... i'm seeking some councilling too to work through older stuff.

    But i am now 100% convinced that surgery would be meaningless ... i have a bad relationship with food due to a previously failed surgery (band that has slipped and causes me hell).... all i want now is to get the band removed so i can slowly re-learn to eat and to live properly

    But the sleeve op would solve nothing .... its just a tool ... and a tool can be ignored or misused like anything else... i'd very much recommend spending some real long time alone with yourself and really think about your own behavior and whether you'd have the discipline or whether you'd cheat.... i was told that basically your body will adjust itself if you keep pushing past the signals.... you'd end up in the same boat.

  • healthypelican
    healthypelican Posts: 215 Member
    @JustKate58 reading through that I'm just thinking, wow you're very lovely and helpful! I hope you have a sweet day.
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
    Mike, I'm in the same state of mind as you. I'm scheduled for surgery later this year too. It was my doctor's idea, and I've been skeptical that it's the right thing for me. I went to the bariatric surgeon, and they sent me to a dietitian to learn new habits and to drop the weight necessary before surgery.

    The diet advise has been a life changer. I was never a big protein eater before, and now it's my main focus. Getting adequate protein has totally changed my brain chemistry and attitude towards food. The cravings are gone, for the most part.

    The thing is, I've been down this road many times. I feel successful and confident about weight loss and a new lifestyle, but then out of nowhere - like Kate - I'm derailed by small stuff upon small stuff that becomes huge stuff and a big weight gain. I don't know how surgery is going to change that pattern. If I have a history of non compliance then that's the issue I need to somehow address.

  • highlightshadow
    highlightshadow Posts: 116 Member
    That's it in a nutshell Cynthia
    History of non compliance.
    Surgery doesn't change who you are. It doesn't your behaviour. It's trying to force compliance but some of us will push limits and I used to think "just this one time". But it never was 1.

    I'm trying to treat the cause this time not the symptom. Trying to find my why
  • JustKate58
    JustKate58 Posts: 5 Member
    Gastric bypass will not change the behavior and it is not an answer for everyone. I ate poorly for the better part of a year but my pouch still works because it is very hard to over eat. So my pouch didn't fail me I failed my pouch. You absolutely need good counseling before this surgery. That is what I loved about Kaisers program. We went through 12 weeks of prep and eating like we already had the surgery etc. And a lot of mind set counseling as well. It is not a cure for a messed up brain. It is a tool. I love my tool and feel confident that it was still a good choice for ME. I wish you all well with your weight loss however you choose to do it. There is no wrong way, the goal should be to get healthy!
  • tdeshields2017
    tdeshields2017 Posts: 7 Member
    Thank you justkate58. Very informative and nice
  • ronjsteele1
    ronjsteele1 Posts: 1,064 Member
    One thing you all hit on is having to change the mindset. I would REALLY encourage you to read The Beck Diet Solution. She teaches cognitive behavioral therapy that you do at home (no cost except the book) and it is very effective for changing habits (all habits) and mindset. Until I did a ton of emotional work to deal with why/how I became overweight to begin with, the weight loss was not sustainable, nor was it coming at the rate it should have. Once you deal with the mindset, the weight loss is "easier" in terms of being able to power through the cravings, wanting to give up, etc. Years ago, I considered the gastric band. I'm so glad I didn't do it simply because without having dealt with the emotional baggage I would have busted through it, and the few people I know that have had gastric bypass have all regained whatever weight they lost for this very reason.

    Food for thought.... ;)
  • mainecasey1
    mainecasey1 Posts: 12 Member
    I just recently began my bariatric journey. I've gone to the orientation class, met with the counselor, had the sleep study and next is the nutritionist. I made the mistake of sharing my decision with my extended family and friends because most of them know of the struggles I've been through with physical limitations and etc. Unfortunately, some were not supportive of my decision. I live in a rural area and the weight and wellness center that I attend is 2 hours away from me, so going to their support group is probably going to be just a monthly event due to driving and weather conditions. I live in the northeast where we get lots of snow this time of year. So, I decided to seek out online support groups as well.
  • JustKate58
    JustKate58 Posts: 5 Member
    Mainecasey1 check with your facility and ask if there is anything closer to you for support. Some support groups will accept you even though you are not a member of the medical plan because most bariatric groups are put on by the patients with guidance from the staff from time to time. At Kaiser we accepted everyone. I chose who I told about my surgery and was very careful to only tell the people I knew would support me. Because I wasn't doing this for anyone but me. If you decide to do the surgery you must do it for you and no one else and you may have to decide to lose a few people along with the pounds. I had people dump me and that was ok because that was there problem and you need good positive people to surround you, encourage you and love you. It is a hard process. You have to work at it and there are times when you are with others that can eat whatever they want that you will be like why can't I do that. Because we can't, we are food addicts, and food is our drug which will kill us because we don't know how to eat to live, we live to eat. Don't let others influence you, do what you need to do. I am not a surgery advocate, I am a do what you need to do to be healthy advocate! Hugs
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