Help/motivation/insperation

Hi everyone,

I started this Programm a year ago, but I never managed to stay consistent. I keeped failing for my goal to becoming a better me.
I was never slim, since I was a little girl, I've been always the big girl. I'm so tired off that, I really want to change for myself, specially!!! But I know for sure I can't do this without a strong support system. That's why I like to ask you for your help, I don't want to look like this anymore and keep feeling sorry for myself. I know I can do this better this time. In 3 month from now I will go on a trip to Hawaii and I want to be comfortable to wear a swimsuit. That my ultimate goal. To love my body finally!!!
30lbs(12kg). I want to lose.
But I also want encourage others in this community to love themselves first. Thank you, for your help!