scared to weigh.... help!

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rosadona
rosadona Posts: 36 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
SO! here's my story. i've always been just on the cusp of being overweight (i'm 5'6 and have hovered most of my adult life around 155 pounds) and i've never felt comfortable with my body. i've always had a hard time losing weight (i suspect that i have a thyroid issue, on top of being a huge emotional eater) but was able to lose about 13 pounds last winter with the help of a really low carb, low calorie and low fat plan. i was feeling really good and felt like i only had about 5-10 more to lose before i was at my goal weight. however, the diet i was doing was really not very sustainable (included a lot of "protein meal" supplements, not enough fresh fruits and veggies, etc) and i lost it right before moving to portland. we all know how stressful moving is (and those of you familiar with portland ALSO know how great the food is up here) - needless to say i stopped keeping track of my food so much, stopped stepping on the scale, and before i knew it i gained back all i lost plus about 6 more. UGH, right? so now i'm sitting at about 161 (or i was about a month ago... last time i weighed, i'll get to that) and i seem to be unable to get back into the 150's (let alone the 140's). i did well for a few weeks with my food and exercise and then we had friends in town for a solid two weeks - which meant a lot of eating, a lot of drinking, and no free time to exercise and get out on my own. it's been about two weeks since then and i've done fairly well since (though getting back on track is hard... my body is very carb sensitive and once i have some sugar or refined flour i just CRAVE the stuff!) but haven't stepped on the scale to see the damage. we all know the emotions attached with the number on the scale (good OR bad) and i'm just not sure i can deal with seeing a higher number (as this is the highest my weight has ever been). however, i don't want to stay off the scale for too long just in case i'm somehow STILL gaining and unaware of it. so - here's where i come to you guys. for advice, for help, for a listening ear, for whatever you want to give me. i'm nervous and frustrated, but i'm sick of feeling uncomfortable so i need to start doing whatever it takes.

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  • nlsalvatore
    nlsalvatore Posts: 521 Member
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    Just take a deep breath and do it. It's just a place to start, that's all. You can do it!!
  • mynika
    mynika Posts: 312 Member
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    Step on those scales, you might be surprised for the better, if not, then it's better to weigh in now, and get started. Enjoy your journey, I know that you can do it. Good food and all :)
  • yeabby
    yeabby Posts: 643 Member
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    Welcome to Portland!

    You can eat the great food here in moderation but, then head out to the gorge, Mt. Hood or the beach and hike it off.

    Good luck with your journey. You can add me if you like.
  • k121777
    k121777 Posts: 306
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    Ok.....Just rip the band aid off quick! It won't hurt! You need to do this because of EXACTLY what you said...those numbers on the scales really affect us. It might be a slap in the face, but it will make you aware of exactly what is going on. Sometimes we need that slap in the face to get motivated. If you are anything like me, I can't emotionally start a diet (or healthier way of eating) until I see that number on the scale. If I don't "SEE" that number, then I can continue to fool myself and say well I know it's up there, but it can't be that bad, right? When really it is bad! Even if you are at your "OH SH-T" weight, you can turn the corner and go back down. DO IT FOR YOU! Good luck. I just did it myself on July 14th!!!
  • anevels
    anevels Posts: 16 Member
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    Knowledge is power, denial of the facts will not change them. You need to get on the scale and face the number. Set some small goals, like joining myfitnesspal. Next get a buddy who will be honest but supportive. I'm carb sensitive and will eat @ the drop of an emotional minute, BUT, I finally got tired of being sick and tired and I deserved better. So all the energy and effort I would bestow on others is all self directed on ME. Baby steps, like drinking at least 8 glasses of water or even smaller steps, like only eating 1/2 the portion and drinking a HUGE glass of water with each eating adventure. you know how to do it, it's that first step. hang in there and just do it for the love of YOU. I need to lose over 100lbs, now I only focus on trying to be conscious and aware of what, why, & when I'm eating and attempt to do better at the next meal. you can do it. go for it
  • kiwicakes
    kiwicakes Posts: 65 Member
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    Hello!

    Well, just like you said, "no matter what it takes" right? When I was first getting back on track I was afraid to weigh myself too. Like you, I'm 5'6" and at my highest I weigh 168, so I started exercising rigorously and counting calories two years ago, when I got down to 145 I stopped, long story short 'life' got in the way and I gained a bunch back. Earlier this year when I returned to MFP I just told myself to expect the worst, what can be worse than that? With that kind of mentality I started my diet journey again at 158 earlier this spring.

    I hope this helps a little, it's not easy but as long as you start you will get somewhere!
  • kristinhope79
    kristinhope79 Posts: 6 Member
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    May I suggest an idea? I had a problem with the scale, and the scale actually was very detrimental to me. I finally realized that the scale doesn't define me, and it doesn't define you, either. I started just doing the things that I knew were "right" - exercising, watching my calories, adding more veggies, etc - without paying much attention to the scale. Instead, I'm now taking occasional pictures and measuring myself. I went through the Slim in 6 program from Beachbody and with it, between 4/21/11 and 6/2/11, I lost 8 pounds and 7.1875 inches overall. I'm gaining lean muscle and I feel better than I did before I started this journey for the final time. And, I say final because I finally realized this journey is going to be for the rest of my life - not as intense as it is needing to be at this moment in time, but even when I'm maintaining, I'm going to need to keep my body moving and in shape.

    For some people, the scale is a great motivator. For others, it hinders rather than helps. To me, I'm wondering if this time in your life, if the scale might be more hindering to you. Think about just focusing on your habits and creating those good habits that you need to have to just live a healthy lifestyle.

    Good luck!! *hugs*

    -Kristin :)
  • rosadona
    rosadona Posts: 36 Member
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    thanks for tips everyone. the problem with me is that i just seem to be super dense, so i can wear the same clothes within about a 15 pound range - otherwise i would throw out the scale for my mental health! my weight distributes pretty evenly and if i don't know the number and keep it in check, all of a sudden i just realize i feel huge. guess i need to just bite the bullet... i am pretty emotionally tied to the number and the problem with that is that i seem to eat MORE on days when my weight is the highest - it's a combination of stress, sabotage, and a little "what's the point?" sort of thinking. i need to get past that. not sure if i'm ready to weigh tomorrow, maybe i'll just eat really well and get great exercise tomorrow and then i'll go into it feeling confident enough to weigh thursday....
  • unique2myself
    unique2myself Posts: 27 Member
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    You cant beat and conquer the beast you don't know about/. How can you move forward if you don't know where you are moving forward from? So what if it says you are higher than you want to be !!! THAT gives you a starting point to lose more and lets you know how hard you need to work to get there. You HAVE done it so you CAN do it !
  • kristinhope79
    kristinhope79 Posts: 6 Member
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    So I think you found out what you need to do - it's a battle with your mind at this point, which is where I personally think it is with everybody. It's finding the things that motivate you, getting rid of the things that don't, and forming mind habits that help you do what you know you want to do rather than do the things that you end up regretting. I still say the scale doesn't define you - just because the number is where it's at doesn't mean you can't do things to change it. Plus, your weight is going to fluctuate because you're a woman. Figure out how to untie your emotions to that number and learn to say "it is what it is", then make positive changes. Focus on your thoughts as often as you can during the day and remind yourself that you're beautiful inside and out and that your journey is to get/keep your body healthy.

    Hope I haven't overstepped my bounds - I've had this journey for the longest time now, and I've been overweight all my life. I've just finally learned what it means to just want to be healthy and it is such a freeing concept - it frees me to finally just do what I know I need to do and helps me to keep my emotions in check so that I can get where I want to get to. And now I want that freedom for as many people as possible. :)
  • Matiara
    Matiara Posts: 377 Member
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    Me, too! I was going to post this very topic a couple of days ago, but changed my mind.

    I've been stuck at 170 or just above for a while now. Even in May when I lost a size, I actually gained two pounds. Before I started Turbo Jam last month, I vowed not to weigh myself until 30 days had passed. 30 days was Monday and I just couldn't bring myself to get on the scale.

    The shorts that I bought the day before I started TJ are looser and my other clothes are fitting more comfortably. I wore one of my A-line skirts last week and my thighs were not touching fabric like they normally do. I carry most of my excess weight around my midsection, so I get the dreaded back fat when I'm out of shape. One of my jelly rolls is all but gone and the second one has diminished greatly. My stomach is also more defined, so I know I've lost a lot of fat.

    Still, I don't want to get on the scale. If with all of the physical progress that I'm seeing I still haven't broken 170, it's going to be really discouraging. I *know* that measurements, clothing fit, and even my reflection are more important than the scale because The Number is made up of so many factors, but it still plays mind games with me. I'm feeling fitter and better about my body, but if I step on the scale and my weight hasn't budged, it's just going to make me feel bad. The intellectual side of my brain knows that it shouldn't, but the emotional side of my brain will win the argument. And that makes me mad at myself, because I know better. A little piece of plastic and metal shouldn't have so much power.

    On the other hand, I really want to know. I'm not expecting a huge number drop, but at this point, I'd be happy to be 167 or 168 because that 170 has become a psychological barrier for me. Ugh.
  • rosadona
    rosadona Posts: 36 Member
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    fiiiiinally weighed in. the number was not good, but actually not as bad as i was dreading and on top of that, i am pretty positive i'm retaining water from strength training and possibly sodium intake too. at least i know where i am now and i'm relieved. going to get back into the habit of weighing every day and taking measurements/recording weight every week. also, i updated the ticker to a smaller goal - my first goal is 145, which is the low weight i got to before gaining it back, and when i get there i'll update to the final goal of 135.

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