I fell off the wagon and can't seem to get back on - Help needed

johnguitarman · February 2017

A little about me. I am John, Im 44. 6'2. I am currently 277 lbs. I have high blood pressure due to a very bad diet, weight and lots of stress. I take care of my 74 year old dad who is a quadriplegic. He was injured in a fall almost 7 years ago and I am his sole caregiver. The stress has been unbearable on me at times and this has not helped my health out at all. I do my best but it drains me so much taking care of my dad. He has 4 pressure ulcers which I have to take care of daily for two years now, and he has constant UTI's. A nurse comes by the house once a week to help me for about 30 minutes. My girlfriend moved in two years ago and she has been a great help with a bit of my dads care but most of it is personal stuff that only I can do. And there is a lot of physical aspects to taking care of dad as well and it puts my body through a lot.

About 3 years ago I weighed in at about 290lbs. I was pushing 300lbs and I knew I had to make a decision and change my ways. I stopped my diet pepsi addiction overnight, cleaned up my diet and got onto MFP. I started losing weight but I was getting too little calories and I was starving. I researched a lot and found out about TDEE so I got a BODYMEDIA armband and it calculated my calories and said for me to raise my calories. I did and soon found myself not starving and for the next year I dropped weight like crazy. I worked out at home with a bench and dumbbells. All was great! I eventually got all the way down to 218 lbs. My BP was almost at normal levels. I was close to my goal of 190 lbs but a personal life event happened that threw me off course for several months.

I slowly started gaining some weight back by giving in to old habits. I eventually got back on track and stopped gaining weight again. I gained back to a little over 255lbs but then lost again to about 245lbs. It was then that I met the love of my life. Unfortunately for both of us we enable each others bad eating habits and slowly my weight started to return. We have become too comfortable in an unhealthy diet and we are paying for it. 2 years later I'm now at 277lbs. We have both tried to get back on track but the constant fast food eating screws us up and we keep trying again and again. I was 262 lbs two weeks ago but started eating bad again and regained. We know we are sabotaging our efforts with all of our fast food eating. I have also started back my old diet pepsi habit. We joined a gym this month and we know what we need to do and thats ditch the fast food, the drinks, make sure we exercise and stay on course, but we are finding thats easier said than done. How can my girlfriend and I break this cycle of bad eating? What would a good workout program be for us to start dropping weight and get back on track and stay on track. Any advice? We both want to kick our bad habits and get healthy. Thanks

Lashawn71188 · February 2017

Have someone else make you all accountable. Hire a personal trainer. Then because you've scheduled and paid to workout you'll likely be more motivated to go. Also, if you can pay for meal prep service and don't bring any other food in the house.

callsitlikeiseeit · February 2017

i m posting what i posted on my wall the other day after seeing a bunch of whiny as people complain about similar. in particular, for you, pay attention to the last paragraph.....

im going to get up on my soapbox, so tune out now if you want. losing weight is easy. in its most simplest form, it is nothing more than science (eating less than you burn, no matter how you do it).

What is hard, is being COMMITTED to it. Jobs (or school, or both), kids, long work hours, family obligations .... excuses come easy, and are easier than working for what you want. I spent the latter half of last year maintaining because of life. not gaining. not stopping. not giving up. Just... maintaining. I preach it on the boards all the time, that it is not what you eat, but how much, and if you want it (to lose weight) bad enough, you are your OWN motivation. Life happens and 'over' days happen. its not the end of the world, people. trust me on that. When my fiance is home (one long weekend a month, if we are lucky) - I relax myself. He gets spoiled with good food, and... so do I. it doesnt mean i pig out all day long, but a higher calorie dinner and a few beers, or a piece of desert, on those few days a month, to relax and spend much needed time with my love, is NOT a big deal in the scheme of things.

Any one of you, can look at my diary and see i eat real, normal food. no shakes, no pills, no weird powders or the same thing for every meal, every day. real food. chicken (its cheap), beef, pork, veggies, fruit, bread and crackers and cheese, potatoes and rice (not a big rice fan so i dont eat a whole lot of it, but sometimes ill make some). it includes the occasional take out. It includes beer and jack. it includes chocolate and treats. And why can I do that - because i weigh my food, know exactly what I am eating, and PLAN FOR IT. Learn how to use the recipe builder. Unless i make a drastic change, the things i make most often vary so small in calories from time to time that i make it, that (for me, right now), it doesnt make a difference.

Every sunday (god how i hate sundays).... I plan, and weigh (ON A SCALE), and log my food for the week. ALL my food. Breakfasts are standard (coffee and yogurt 9/10 times), so easy. Lunch, dinner, snacks - all planned, prepped and ready to go. I spent 5 hours in my kitchen today, cooking, weighing and prepping for the entire week. all my meals and snacks. it looks like a bomb exploded in there, at the moment. this week its a fagioli soup, meatloaf, chicken and veggies, taco stuffed green peppers, rigatoni and smothered pork chops (those last two by request of my hunny). and thats just dinners (and often, if the calories are decent enough - leftovers serve as my lunches, as they will this week). Its easy to avoid the pitfalls of eating out for a meal, if you know you have a lunch in your bag or in the fridge at work, and dinner going and ready for you when you get home. The crock pot is my best friend. This week, im not doing crock pot meals, but oven meals and soup, and my daughter can throw those in the oven an hour before i get home. My days are long. I leave at 6 am and dont get home till 6 pm or later. I get home, eat, and do my damndest to be in bed by 8. Im usually asleep around 9, and im up at 3 or 4. go to the gym (at 6 am) before work. As I said, excuses come easy, and we can all find them But if you want it bad enough, you do what you have to do, and find a way to do it.

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld · February 2017

Diet soda isn't your problem. I drink it.

It's all the take outs etc. You need to commit to eating less and moving more.

Your Dad would not want you using him as an excuse, show him you can do it and you are going to have a healthy hopefully long active life. Good luck on your journey

youdoyou2016 · February 2017

I cannot imagine having to deal with the circumstances you find yourself in. You're a good son / person!

What you say about stress sticks with me, and a couple things comes to mind because I've noticed when I attended to that that my weight went down and I was more easily able to care for myself. Obviously you know what to do. And, I do not think it is not easy to do, in my opinion, when are dealing with something as stressful as you are. It's not like there is "normal life happening" and you want to lose some weight.

If your father is stuck in a wheel chair or bed unable to move, are you home with him all the time? I would think that, legally, he cannot be left on his own, so do you get out at all? I just wonder if there are other supports you can get -- from insurance companies, volunteers, etc. I broke my leg badly once, and I had a nurse daily -- for bathing, dressing, washed my clothes, made my bed, cooked for me and cleaned up. Is it possible there are more things out there that can help you?

Have you talked to your own doctor about this? About you, I mean? There are medications that can help with this -- perhaps you can try something, even temporarily, that can help you focus on you better. Caring for someone else is not easy. I cannot imagine the time commitment, the impact on your life, your emotions, what you can and cannot do now, etc. It's a big deal, and it's not like you can just "not be stressed now" in an instant. Well, at least I don't know how to do that. But maybe with some medication, taking time for you, therapy, guided meditation things, etc it might snowball into good habits rather than keep you doing what you are currently doing. Anyway, just some thoughts as I read your post ...

Zombielicious · February 2017

Try meal prepping. If you always have quick, healthy meals and snacks available, you're less likely to eat out. Crock pot meals are super easy for weeknight dinners and you can Google tons of healthy meals that come together relatively quickly. I know people preach having a "cheat meal" once a week to help you keep on track with your weight loss goals (so you don't feel deprived), but I know for me personally, there are trigger foods that will throw me off as soon as the delicious fatty, junk passes my lips...

ActionAnnieJXN · February 2017

Johnguitarman, Hi, nice to meet you - I'm Annie, a guitarwoman. Haha. It's so easy to give in to the convenience of fast food and to just relax and enjoy the comfort of its familiarity and the salty, fatty warmth it gives us after a long, stressful day...and as sole caregiver, I can certainly understand that you are under a great deal of stress.

How about this idea - one thing that has helped me is to look up the nutritional information on all the menus at my usual fast food places, and when I go to one, I order one of the lower calorie options. Or I will alter one of the higher calorie options. For example, I might get a whopper, but with no cheese, no mayo, and remove parts of the bun. That alone will save about 250 calories. See what I mean? Make a deal with your GF that you will research the menus and come up with ideas like that for lowering fast food calories, and be sure to track it. You will be surprised at how making a few changes like this will help to lower your overall intake.

Then you can begin mixing in a few crock pot roasts, a few baked chicken breasts, an exercise vid or two and BOOM! You've dropped 10 lbs, Bob's your uncle. See? Baby steps. Keep it simple. Don't overwhelm yourself at first and get into that old black/white, "can't have fast food never ever ever" thinking. Yes, you can. I'm proof. I've lost 107 lbs. eating exactly as I've described. You got this, brother. Rock on. :-)

debtay123 · February 2017

So proud of you for all you are doing with your dad- man THAT is commitment in itself- Now- maybe you and girl friend can come up with ways where you take turns fixing(cooking) simple meals- Look at You- tube videos for low calorie recipes- or slow cooker recipes- it will cook the food all day as you tend to your dad- put meats/veggies and some kind of sauce in crock pot and bam it is done. Also the convenience of frozen foods is amazing now days- Green giant and other companies have so many frozen veggies/ sides etc that ONLY have to be microwaved- check out the sodium level- but first things first- watch calorie intake- TRY to get some support or help with your dad if possible- but YOU and your girlfriend CAN do this- it may take planning- again use you-tube videos for some mild movements if needed. Wishing you the best of luck! You can do it!!!!!

Heather4448 · February 2017

Your Dad should be eligible to have a CNA for at least 4 hours a day. My advice is (1)Go to your local social services agency and have a worker go over his case with you (2) Have a CNA come in for 2 hours on the am and 2 hours in the pm (3) Use this time to go the gym AND have some time alone. Go to a library and read a book. Do something just for you. The diet and weight loss will come when you're not under such a great amount of stress. Best of luck to you.

AJbandit88 · February 2017

I'm proud of you for taking care of your dad, and I know how much work it is taking care of a parent after a surgery so I can't imagine how hard it is day in and day out for you. But that doesn't change the fact that if you truly want to lose weight, like others have said, you have to commit. That doesn't mean starve yourself or only eat tiny amounts. It means being smart with your meals, cut down portions, and take every advantage to move more or get in a few more steps. Now it's no instant weight loss but it is a start to a lifestyle change and that will lead to weight loss. Don't gain weight because of your dad, lose it because of him. I know it's hard after so many years but PUT YOURSELF FIRST sometimes. Believe me I know it's easier said than done but you have to do it. Even for a few minutes a day. As far as food I eat out almost every day, but I am smart about it. I look up the menus and watch my Cals, carbs, and fats then make a choice what to have. It isn't easy but my desire to lose weight and build muscle out weighs the desire to eat more. If you need help with menu ideas or anything else let me know and I will be happy to help. I'm by no means an expert but what I do works for me and if that can help someone else I'm happy to help. Keep your head up and keep grinding!

kimny72 · February 2017

Start with one small thing. Maybe both of you can commit to logging your food. Or prepping meals for the week on Sundays. Or walking around the block after dinner every night. Then just focus on that one thing until its a habit, and only then move on to the next small thing. You aren't going to see immediate big results, but at least you will be in motion and headed in the right direction.

You could also check the websites of the fast food places you frequent and write down meals you can get that will be the right amount of calories. That way if you do end up there, at least you won't pile on the calories mindlessly.

In general, I find focusing on something new to start doing, or something good to add in, is easier than focusing on cutting stuff out.

Best of luck :drinker:

nightengale7 · February 2017

I agree with a lot of other posters on here. I still eat fast food, just not as much. It really does help to look up the calories for fast food meals and figure out what you can have within your allotment for the day. It might surprise you how many calories some items have, and how few others contain. Moderation is your friend. Also, the diet Pepsi isn't affecting your weight. It has 0 calories and contains very little of anything worthwhile. If it makes you happy to have one with your meal, have at.
Kudos to you for helping your dad and how wonderful you found someone to love and share life with.

brendafrost60 · February 2017

I agree with Kimny72 above ... one small thing at a time. Start by not eating fast food one day a week. Plan your meals and snacks for just one day a week. That's something you can wrap your head around and commit to. Maybe have your girlfriend plan a different day ... right there with the two of you, you now have 2 days a week that you can focus on eating healthy. Start small ... do it for two weeks, then add one more small thing. You can do this! We're here to help!

I fell off the wagon and can't seem to get back on - Help needed

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