Advice with saying no in the Heat?

rococo11
rococo11 Posts: 49 Member
edited September 30 in Fitness and Exercise
So yesterday where I was there was a heat index of 127... I biked to and from work, 5.2 miles each way. My dad had me pitch out side from 6-7:15 pm and I was sweating buckets and light headed. After that my dad wanted to go for a run, only a short 20 minute one because of the heat. I tried to convince him we should go to the gym but, well being my dad, he had us running, it was 21 minutes at about a 10 minute a mile pace. I did not feel good at all when we got back, disoriented, overheated, and nauseous. A sign said it was 96 degrees out when we were at the end of our run around 8 pm. SO I'm wondering what a good way to say no to my dad when it is a bad idea (I pointed the heat out) and he disregarded my alternative option and I had already gotten a reasonable work out in (which I also pointed out). I'd appreciate any suggestions.

Replies

  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    I'm old (55) and have tried most of my life to say 'no' nicely. You can't with ppl who will not take 'no' for an answer - ESPECIALLY men. Simply say NO firmly or 'no, thank you' if you must be polite. If they keep insisting - do what I do SCREAM IT IN YOUR LOUDEST VOICE. You will NEVER have to say 'no' to this person more than once again.
    Now, you can waste years trying to find an alternative or take my advice. I don't give in, I don't argue & I don't compromise when I mean no. I say it once politely and then I say it loudly so everyone in the city can hear me.

    NO MEANS NO
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    Maybe just say "No, the heat makes it too dangerous to do anymore outdoor exercise today. I'm going to the gym instead." Maybe I'm missing some aspect of the dynamic between you and your father, but you're an adult and should just be able to say 'NO' without qualifying it.
  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
    It comes down to knowing what's best for you and saying no. Simple as that. You gave your dad an alternative and he wasn't interested - but that's his problem. You should've stuck to your guns and gone to the gym, with or without him (or just decided you'd had enough exercise for the day!! :laugh: ). You have to take care of yourself and not worry about what others are going to say/think. Don't allow others to push you into unsafe situations (which is exactly what happened, from the sound of it) just because you don't want to disappoint/upset them. They'll get over it.
  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,585 Member
    I love your advice. Once you say 'No' and then relent you are making a rod for your own back. Say no, mean no.
  • ProTFitness
    ProTFitness Posts: 1,379 Member
    That is way to dangerous no matter what age. I am all about working out outside but not long and in short burst with resting. THat is a good way to put yourself in the HOSPITAL
  • rococo11
    rococo11 Posts: 49 Member
    The dynamic is I'm living at home for the summer and he helps pay for college...so saying no it difficult. It was also in part that he was going to go for a run regardless if I was going or not and I did not want him running by himself
  • Riebop
    Riebop Posts: 275
    I'm old (55) and have tried most of my life to say 'no' nicely. You can't with ppl who will not take 'no' for an answer - ESPECIALLY men. Simply say NO firmly or 'no, thank you' if you must be polite. If they keep insisting - do what I do SCREAM IT IN YOUR LOUDEST VOICE. You will NEVER have to say 'no' to this person more than once again.
    Now, you can waste years trying to find an alternative or take my advice. I don't give in, I don't argue & I don't compromise when I mean no. I say it once politely and then I say it loudly so everyone in the city can hear me.

    NO MEANS NO

    Why doesn't this work with my husband? I always have to yell and he still doesn't get it. :P

    However, I do agree. You could do some research about why it's a bad idea to go running when it's excessively hot out. Then use that to prove to your dad that it's not a good idea.
  • kdchick99
    kdchick99 Posts: 104 Member
    Wow....You were close to a heat stoke it sounds like. I struggle to say No to my father too, but sometimes you have to do what is best for you. If you do run with him again in the evening, slow your pace down so he has to slow down. If you were not feeling well after, I can't imagine your father was feeling well either. If he's stubborn about the issue, at least carry a bottle of water or Poweraide to help you out. Took this off the American Red Cross Website:

    Signs of heat exhaustion include cool, moist, pale or flushed skin; heavy sweating; headache; nausea; dizziness; weakness; and exhaustion.
    ❏ Move the person to a cooler place. Remove or loosen tight clothing and apply cool, wet cloths or towels to the skin. Fan the person. If the person is conscious, give small amounts of cool water to drink. Make sure the person drinks slowly. Watch for changes in condition.
    ❏ If the person refuses water, vomits or begins to lose consciousness, call 9-1-1 or the local emergency number.

    Heat stroke (also known as sunstroke) is a life-threatening condition in which a person’s temperature control system stops working and the body is unable to cool itself.
    ❏ Signs of heat stroke include hot, red skin which may be dry or moist; changes in consciousness; vomiting; and high body temperature.
    ❏ Heat stroke is life-threatening. Call 9-1-1 or the local emergency number immediately.
  • dshiemke
    dshiemke Posts: 24 Member
    I still have trouble saying no to my dad and I'm 51. The only way that I've found that works for me is to end the conversation or change the subject. As an adult you don't have to defend your decisions. You can give an explanation or not, but don't debate it with him.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I understand that saying no to certain people in your life can be hard. I think it might be easiest for you to come up with alternative suggestions _before_ getting to that point where you have to say no. In other words, tonight you should suggest that you go for a run in the early morning to avoid the heat so that tomorrow night there won't be a question.
  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
    The dynamic is I'm living at home for the summer and he helps pay for college...so saying no it difficult. It was also in part that he was going to go for a run regardless if I was going or not and I did not want him running by himself

    While I understand your reluctance to say no to your dad, it's still important to be safe. I would've simply told him that I loved him and appreciated the invitation but that the heat was too much for me (and probably mentioned that I was already feeling bad). I might've also suggested that we wait and go for a run later if I was feeling better. You can't always take care of others - sometimes it's important to put your own needs/safety first.
  • giaciccone
    giaciccone Posts: 257
    I would just tell him, "You know dad, I felt absolutely awful the last time we did that. I would much rather cool down because it's dangerously hot outside. For the good of OUR health, if we're going to run I vote inside."

    If he doesn't listen, then just sit on the couch & tell him that he can go by himself.

    Your health is more important than respecting his wishes, really.
  • rococo11
    rococo11 Posts: 49 Member
    I appreciate all the advice. I don't think I'll have this problem again as the heat is supposed to break tomorrow and my dad just sent me an email saying that running outside was stupid and we shouldn't have done it. I think he must have just looked at the weather report :). But tonight I have already made plans to meet a friend at the gym just in case.
  • curvygirl512
    curvygirl512 Posts: 423 Member
    If I had to guess, I'd say your dad is military, or ex-mil. To them, a three digit heat index is no excuse not to exercise. So unless you're in the military, I'd cite your health concerns and back off. I'd also ensure that he runs with his cell phone and ID in case he passes out and someone needs to rescue him, or he ends up at the ER. Some people, you just can't talk to. I'm sure my 82 y/o mother is outside in her garden today, where the heat index is at least 100. There's no talking to her either.
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    I appreciate all the advice. I don't think I'll have this problem again as the heat is supposed to break tomorrow and my dad just sent me an email saying that running outside was stupid and we shouldn't have done it. I think he must have just looked at the weather report :). But tonight I have already made plans to meet a friend at the gym just in case.

    I would print out this email for future reference...just in case. :wink:
  • DarbysWife
    DarbysWife Posts: 5
    Regardless of the fact that he pays for your college, you can say 'no' when it is not safe to exercise outside. Any Father would respect your decision. Unfortunately some Men are stubborn, and don't want to admit failure. If he wants to run, let him.
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