Self Realization

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Hi,

Just joined yesterday and hoping to do this for real this time. I have had lots of issues with weight loss in the past and am hoping this time will be successful.

I had kind of a self realization breakthrough yesterday. I'm unhappy. I really thought about why I'm unhappy and it basically all came down to my weight. I realized that I am not myself anymore. Why? Because I care so much about what people think of me. I used to be the kind of person who did things for myself. Now, I do what I think I should; what I think people will approve of. And most importantly, what will keep people from talking about me. I see now that my weight makes me easy to judge so why add insult to injury. If I keep a low profile and don't bring too much attention to myself no one will judge me. I guess is all really boils down to self confidence- or lack thereof.

I need myself back. I need my kids to see the fun, carefree, active, positive person that I used to be. I need to shed this shell of fat and be the real me.

I have a range of health issues but I'm not going to let them be an excuse anymore. PCOS be damned...I'll just have to work harder.

I'm starting off by cutting portions and watching calories. Baby steps... I'll get to the exercise at some point.

I've enlisted my husband to join me and lose a few lbs himself. He doesn't need to lose much but if we have this in common and he's supportive (instead of eating cheeseburgers while I eat salad) it will definitely help lead me to success.

I'm not much of a joiner but I'm going to try and accept support from other MFP members and also offer my support to others.

I hope I can do this. :wink:

Replies

  • MamaJilldo
    MamaJilldo Posts: 63 Member
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    Good for you! You just took the biggest step, starting! Also- you said you're starting with baby steps- portion control and reducing calories are BIG steps!!! They weigh in SO much more than exercise. Exercise helps you gain back calories to eat so you feel satisfied and adds strength so you can burn more calories, so it is important- But I've always found that losing weight is #1 diet then #2 exercise. Congrats
  • nrsnewme
    nrsnewme Posts: 1
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    Beth,
    We have all been there at one time or another. Be happy with who you are on the inside. Make the decision to lose weight something you do for yourself, not others. That is the first key to success. Have friends join with you on this site. You can be in it together. Good luck
  • mercyyuen
    mercyyuen Posts: 21
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    =) Congrats on your self realization! good luck! Add me as a friend, and I promise to leave you encouragements everyday =D Hehe....
  • GalaxyDuck
    GalaxyDuck Posts: 406 Member
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    You most certainly CAN do this! I had a similar self-realization just before I started. I think it's a key part of why I've been successful. I realized that and it just made me that much more determined to lose the weight and get my self-confidence back. I've thought many times about trying to lose the weight, but it wasn't until I had this breakthrough that I had the will power and determination to stick with it and make the necessary life changes.

    And let me tell you, if you do that, you will start to feel AMAZING. Even when I was younger and considered "skinny", I had no wheres near the self confidence I have now. I know I can do this and I can make it stick, it's just going to take work. And the work is worth it in the end.

    I know you can do this, and if you need any help along the way, feel free to add me!
  • chelroxxx
    chelroxxx Posts: 13 Member
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    I do the same thing I have learned to blend in, where I used to be the life of the party. It is a horrible feeling when you realize that this is what your life has come to. I am going to send a friend request, if you need support you can message me :)
  • canoe626
    canoe626 Posts: 12 Member
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    Beth...

    You found a great place to help you with your goals.. they have a ton of tools and so many supportive people here. It is great.

    Add me as a friend and i will support and encourage you on your way to a new you :)
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    That sounds a lot like where I was when I had that same moment! I had a couple of trips in 2009 where I met up with old college buddies and I started feeling all self conscious and a little ashamed about how I'd let myself go. They've all known me in my overweight years so it wasn't so much that I was still heavy but that I'd gotten much bigger than I ever was.

    I also made it about my health and fitness and not just about the number on the scale.

    Anyway, enough about me. Baby steps are definitely the way to go! Good luck to you and welcome to MFP!
  • megskimo
    megskimo Posts: 7
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    YAY! Hello!

    Just one tip from a relative newbie, you don't have to eat salad or boring rubbish food. Weight loss actually got going for me when I found out you can make really tasty stuff with no fat if you know what to buy.

    Skimmed milk is a god-send, fat free yoghurt can make amazing curries and deserts, 5%fat cream cheese can be used instead of cream in pastas and sauces, (your hubbie won't even notice!) turkey mince makes great burgers, and you'll notice you can snack on fruit all day and stay under the calorie limit!

    Good luck and also remember it is not just weight loss that will make you feel better, being free from the junk food will make you happier, balance moods, improve skin/hair/nails and also boost sex drive :D

    Healthy eating is actually pretty exciting!

    xx
  • 1nsands
    1nsands Posts: 27
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    Good for you... knowing the underlying problem can definitely help!

    PCOS can cause you to be overweight (my sister has it)... but did you know that if you lose weight the PCOS can go away????
    That's right... it can go away. It won't always, but it can... and maybe that will help motivate you as well.

    I do believe that what you eat plays a HUGE role in weight loss. Maybe more than exercise.

    BUT, I'd like to encourage you to do some exercising right away. First, because exercising makes me feel amazing (even when I'm sore and tired as a result... in fact, especially when I'm sore and tired because I KNOW I did something). Second, because cutting calories and eating right, can feel sad.... you'll crave the unhealthy foods... and either give in or just feel deprived. Something as simple as a slightly fast paced stroll around the neighborhood for 15 minutes is a completely acceptable place to start. Logging those calories burned here on MFP is really motivating!!!

    Third - I'd like to introduce you to what my husband calls the virtuous circle. When you work out, you don't want to waste all that time and energy on eating something unhealthy... and when you eat healthy, you feel good for your workouts and you do a better workout. Then, after the workout, you don't want to waste all that time and energy on eating something healthy... and when you eat healthy, you feel good for your workouts... see what I mean? The Virtuous Circle!

    Good luck! =D
  • Beth1224
    Beth1224 Posts: 4
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    Thank you all for your support. Like I said, I'm not much of a joiner but it does feel nice knowing there are others out there that share my issues.

    Megskimo- Trust me, I will search high and low to not have to eat boring food. I try to be really creative!

    1nsands- Yes! I knew that PCOS will go away if I lose enough weight. I love that! That's my goal.

    Nay- I'm trying to do the same as you. Put my scale away and am just going for it. I get obsessive about weighing myself and then tend to let that number dictate my entire day- good or bad. I guess if I'm successful I'll start to feel it and see it in the way my clothes fit.

    Again, thanks everyone for the support.
  • Beth1224
    Beth1224 Posts: 4
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    So far, so good. I haven't been obsessing and have just been watching calories. My husband is being really supportive and doing this along with me. -4lbs so far. Probably water weight but still looks like progress to me. Going on vacation next week...that will be challenging for sure.