Need people to keep me motivated..

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bubbashley0125
bubbashley0125 Posts: 3 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Almost a year ago I was told that I am too heavy and that I have Polycystic ovarian syndrome... Which means that I have cysts on my ovaries and that I cannot have children. It also means that I am at high risk for cancer and diabetes... At my highest I weighed 260.. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I have tried so many times to lose the weight but have never kept it off. I'm only twenty and I want to enjoy my life not focus on how big I am. I have supportive friends but none of them really understand how I feel.. I'm just feeling kind of alone in this and I think that's why I get so distracted..

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  • jadedragneyez
    jadedragneyez Posts: 3 Member
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    Hey, my name is Julie. I kind of understand how you feel. I have been pretty heavy all my life but most recently I was at my highest weight of 228lbs. Growing up I wasn't too hard on myself about my weight but since having some foot issues I've been wanting to lose some weight. Now I realize that my weight is not the cause of those issues and have been working to solve them. Right now I am trying to add a workout routine to my lifestyle. I have never been particularly good at sticking with plans like this but I feel like this is the time in my life where I am really making it happen. I'm using myfitnesspal for a variety of reasons which I can explain to you further if you want. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I understand that feeling of not being able to get motivated enough to work out and feeling as if I am too heavy all the time. I have kind of different ideas and a different approach to weight loss and exercising than most people but I'd be happy to discuss this with you sometime. I also understand what it feels like to want to enjoy my life but often feeling as if my weight is holding me back from enjoying it fully. So if you ever want to talk please let me know.
  • mandalaysissa
    mandalaysissa Posts: 35 Member
    edited February 2017
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    hi, asheley

    I can totally relate to how you feel. Most of my teen and young adult life i'v been heavy myself (right now i'm 169 pounds and i'm 5'4.. but I once was 270.. for my body structure I'm divinely healthy -20 pounds). Back then I used to get upset by getting tired pretty fast and also by lots of crazy craves. I began relying on food when my folks decided to split up and back again, split up and back again and that lasted for a couple of years, but my food and zero exercises patterns were than already well (or not well I should remark) established. It took me years (almost 14 to be exact) to shake off the pity/anger/self-loath/food cycle* (*there were other negative feelings, but it wont really matter I guess) I was onto (sorry if i don't use on, in, at etc so well since english is not my 1st language. Feel free to correct my grammar. I would appreciate it =] )

    1st thing I did, for real, was to seek a therapist. I had a lot of issues going on. Stuff I didn't even know about. Mental care: checked. Now I finally had the power (for knowledge is power) not to lean on food whenever I did not know how to feel or to vent out the negative feelings I had, sneaky and dangerous. Next step: I had to rewire my brain and body on what do eat. That is never easy. Omg! Back then I ate lots of wheat such as bread, cake, crackers, you name it (!) and highly processed food. I had 2 choices: I could make something up based on some internet search (there weren't too many info around in those days, not like today at least) or I could save up some money and see a doctor once and go back there after a couple of months and be honest with him about my financial condition... perhaps he could understand and adjust my diet plan better for someone who wouldn't see him as often as one might ask to). With that done I began to walk. Small walks. Day 1: 15min walk; Day 2: same; Day 3: I pushed to 20min. Yeah, I said pushed because it felt like i was pushing. I was a sedentary over-weighted young woman so after 20min I was all red and exhausted but, oh, I was also beginning to feel good... after all, serotonin and dopamine were being released into my bloodstream. Yay! Day 4-8: let's stick to 20'. Why? I had to get my body, and brain, used to that, right? Day 9-16: 30'. Day 17-27: 45'. Day 28-40: 60'! Yup! My body started to complain whenever I postponed my exercises after that.

    Did I make it sound like an easy task? It was not. Everyday I remember thinking: only for today OR only X minutes left, come on, you can do it. Everyday I would look into the mirror and some pessimistic thoughts would invade my mind. Well, I also had 2 options: embrace it and tell that thought to bug off. It was MY choice. No one else could nor would choose for me.

    Oh, the craves? Had them going me nuts for a couple of weeks, but I also would talk to myself the same way I spoke while looking into the mirror when the craves were bad. When they were not, I'd say: that aint hunger, why are you feeling anxious, sad or angry? After attacking the real problem I'd work on it. I wouldnt eat my problems if I actually ate, so... lol

    I never ever wrote that much on a forum board before, wow, but I hope my little part-of-my-life-statement can relate to you the way I did to your words.

    Remember: one day at a time. One craving denial at a time. You can do it.

    Best of regards,
    S.C.D.

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