need to vent..am i wrong for feeling this way

I'm seething at the personal trainer. He absolutely needs to be reported to management. I doubt they'd be too happy to hear what he's telling members. But I'm, unfortunately, not as sympathetic as you may like about the friend. If I've learned anything (the hard way) is no one can help me in this. I'm on my own. Savor the times you DO get to work out together. But you've got to find the motivation within yourself to do this.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I'm kind of on the other end of this. I have a friend who's gained a bunch of weight while I've lost. She wants to work out with me, but I'm already working out a lot as a figure skater. I need those practice sessions to be about what I'm working on - jumps, edgework, spins, etc. She wants me to go to a public session with her and just skate around in a circle. I'm happy to do this with her a couple times a month. But not more. But she won't go by herself. I can't give her the motivation she needs. She has to find it for herself.

I'm so sorry to hear this my dear! I always start up the year (January) with a few friends that are all gung-ho for working out and making changes, but every year all those friends drop off and I am left alone to workout. I realized this year (I moved and wasn't around anyone I knew) that I HAD to do this on my own and that no one owes me anything. It sucks that your friend has so much going on but that doesn't mean that you can't find some fun exercise stuff that you like! Like some posters have said, try classes, that is a GREAT way to meet friends. Everyone has the same things in common. Even if you just get together a few nights a week, it's good to have friends like that. First and foremost though, you have to get to the gym by yourself and if people are there to workout with you, then that is a bonus. Look at it that way. Sometimes I wish I had friends that would diet with me. To ME, that is the hardest part. My fiance eats horribly and most friends' outings revolve around food, booze or partying! it's hard. I'm going to a concert this Friday and I have already told all the girls, I AM NOT DRINKING, do not pressure me or ask me. I'm on a diet (I started Paleo on Monday) and I have a kick butt workout planned for Saturday morning. I PLAN to stick to this. It'll be hard. We are all a product of our enviorment. Moving on, think of your workouts as "me" time.. Unwind, blow off steam, take out aggression, whatever!

As for trainers, as others have said, they are NOT necessary. I have had success with doing cardio on my own and now I lift weights with a group of people. I know the Fitness Director at my LA Fitness gym and I told him the same things--I can NOT afford a trainer. He said I didn't need one! So take that right from the horses mouth!! If you have over 50# to lose MY advice is to start with simple cardio (walking, jogging, classes, dvd's, etc) and lose some before focusing on weights, which is all you'll get from a trainer anyways!

Feel free to add me. I feel ya girl!

That trainer is a complete jerk!! About 6 yrs. ago I lost 40 lbs without a personal trainer (or a gym membership)!! I did it by counting calories and daily exercise. As long as you're making an effort to get moving and eating healthy then you CAN do it without paying money you don't have for some jerk trainer!!

Your friend I think, deserves your understanding right now. (Maybe your encouragement too!!) Between a job, college and kids that has got to be tough to find the time for working out.

I personally think that one of the best things my husband and I ever did was getting out of the gym and trying to make working out fun. We have really been enjoying bike riding this summer and we're looking for other fun ways to make sure we break a sweat everyday too.

Keep up the good work and pay not attention to Mr. Negativity at the gym. He's just playing on your emotions to make more $$!!

I think it's wonderful that you are even wanting to lose weight. You are just the type that needs motivation, is all. You made a big step in joining Myfinesspal. I joined because my daughter invited me. My daughter needs to lose like 60lbs or more. I could and would love to lose 30lbs. This site is a great start for all of us. I find that it helps me keep tabs on what I'm putting into my pie hole. I exersise in the privacy of my home to Lesie Sansone videos. She does walking of up to 4 miles. Check her out and see if this is more in your price range. My name is Espie. If I knew how to invite you, I would. Maybe you can find me. Good luck!

Cut your friend some slack. She has a lot on her plate. My sister started working out with me and she fell to side. Sometimes my husband works out with me sometimes he doesn't. I use to go running with my son on regular basis but our schedules are conflicting. It happens.

I will not allow that to stop me from getting my exercise in and achieving my goals!

As for the trainer he is a complete *kitten*. If his tactic is to get you to pay for sessions by belittling you then he is an idiot!! Brush it off and turn it into self motivation to achieve your goal!!! Screw that jerk!!!

I don't pay for trainer they are way too expensive and I have achieved most of my goals on my own. They try to get me to pay for sessions and I tell them "Why should I pay you hundreds of dollars for something I can do myself for free!" They leave me alone!! LOL!

Good Luck

I am a personal trainer.. for one, I would NEVER treat a potential client the way this particular trainer has done to you.. I don't understand his tactics by any means, but I also feel women who feel like they need or want a trainer should try to find another woman to train them, they are more in tune to what and how emotions tie into a woman's weight loss journey... (I have had a child, I have gained weight, I am still overweight by "charts", and I KNOW the struggles to get it off, keep it off and progressing to loving your body no matter what it looks like)... two, if you can't afford it, YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT, trainers ARE expensive but please remember we are also out there trying to make the money you feel is also precious to yourself when you get your paycheck at the end of the week doing whatever job you may have... three, on that last note I will agree with an above post.. YOU DON'T NEED A TRAINER, a trainer is there to "guide" you through an exercise routine to help you in your own weight loss goals and efforts, we are not miracle workers some people just have better experiences than others depending on goals, trainers, routines... etc. and lastly weight loss is 90% nutrition 10% exercise... I hope I have helped in some areas by shedding some light as a trainer.

P90 for the win or P90X if you are up to it. Great way to train and it can be done for very very little money.

First of all, I am going to start off with the fact that I think that trainer was way out of line and had absolutely no reason to speak to you this way. It sounds like all he really cared about was padding his own wallet and not about your health.

As for your friend, I can understand the hurt feelings. It always hurts when a friends says they will do something and then fails to do so...it diminishes your trust in her and hurts the friendship....However, after 8 months I would say that her working out with you will probably not happen. You can't use her an excuse to not go to the gym.

I can only offer a few suggestions....perhaps this gym is not the right fit for you. Is there a YMCA or any other club out there to help you out...Curves, Community Fitness Center, etc? Getting to the gym is the hardest part, because often you feel like you don't know what you are doing or don't understand how to use the equipment...basically you feel like you will make a fool out of yourself. However, you will never learn unless you try...and that means getting yourself to the gym. Make it as important to you as your job or a doctor's appt. You wouldn't just not show up for work would you? You have to want to make getting healthy a lifestyle.

The gym should at least give you a thorough introduction to all of their equipment so that you know how to use it properly. Start small...walk on the treadmill, get on the elliptical, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and then keep adding machines or routines.

Of course, weight loss isn't all about gym time either. Think about the nutritional content of your food and whether or not you are really physically hungry. When you are that hungry then give only the best fuel to your body through lean meats, veggies, fruits, nuts. Start cutting back on sugar....it's hard, but it can be done. I keep dove bite size dark chocolates with me to help fend off cravings.

Best wishes to you.