Gym Etiquette Question

LoveMyLife_NYC
LoveMyLife_NYC Posts: 230 Member
edited November 16 in Fitness and Exercise
I go to a serious lifters gym and am one of the few women who go there. There are 2 cages and a squat rack. Tonight, I went over to the rack to do squats and stiff leg deadlifts. One cage was being used by a group of guys doing bench presses. The other cage was unused, but a guy was in front of it doing deadlifts and hung his headphones on the cage.

Half-way through my workout a guy asked me how many more sets I had left. I said I'd be there a while, but the cage by the dead-lifter was not being used. He made a face, shrugged his shoulders, and said "nah." He stood behind me as I continued my workout. After a while, he called over to me from another section of the gym and told me to signal him when I was done working out so he could squat. I was annoyed he'd been standing over me, so I said, "yea, fine, whatever" and pointed to the unused cage. He told a group of guys near him that I was a *kitten* and was giving him an attitude. In all, I spent about 20-25 minutes on the rack; the other guys working out in that area had been there over an hour and weren't done yet. That cage was unused the whole time.

I try to be considerate of others and their workout spaces, but things like this happen a lot at this gym and I'm starting to feel frustrated and uncomfortable. Did I breach gym etiquette with my attitude, or should I stand my ground and finish my workout without worrying about guys hovering over me? I don't want a bad reputation, but my workout is just as important as theirs!

Thanks, everyone, for the tips! :)

Replies

  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    I see no problem if there was a rack/cage open to squat platform in front being used or not

    If there wasn't and I'm going to be there a while, I'll offer to let them work in with me. Otherwise, I won't go out of my way to signal a *kitten*.

  • VKetoV
    VKetoV Posts: 111 Member
    edited February 2017
    Really? When does bench press require the use of a cage? Same for deadlifts. There's no consideration for those who want to do squats. The guy deadlifting should have just allowed him to work in (instead of "marking his territory")...well at least no one was doing bicep curls in a squat rack
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    That dude sucks. I don't think you did anything wrong.
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
    Not rude. I'll take up a rack or a platform for however long I need it. People can work in with me if they want or need to but they rarely do.
  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
    This guy's not entitled to one piece of equipment when there are other identical items available. It's also not okay for him to harass you. And 20-25 minutes is generally a reasonable amount of time for one person to spend on one piece of gym equipment. You didn't do anything wrong.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    I would have probably stayed there longer on purpose - you're right, your workout is equally as important as anyone elses. Stand your ground. Do your thing, and don't let the boys get to you!
  • shor0814
    shor0814 Posts: 559 Member
    VKetoV wrote: »
    Really? When does bench press require the use of a cage? Same for deadlifts. There's no consideration for those who want to do squats. The guy deadlifting should have just allowed him to work in (instead of "marking his territory")...well at least no one was doing bicep curls in a squat rack

    When there is nobody to spot you the cage works great for bench press. The deadlifter was in front of the cage deadlifting, nothing wrong there. If it is anything like my gym there are no extra barbells so benching or deadlifting in or out of the cage ends with the same result since the bar is in use. Doesn't sound like the situation in this case though.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    LoveMyLife_NYC wrote: »
    Did I breach gym etiquette with my attitude

    i don't think so at all. i also think that a guy who will call you a *kitten* across your face [to other guys] instead of saying it to your face if that's how he thinks . . . is a passive-aggressive cheap piece of *kitten*, and i don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable if it's an atmosphere that supports or enables that kind of thing.

    as far as your own comportment, i guess for me it comes down to this. if there was some special reason why he just had to lift in the rack, then it's sort of on him to articulate that. i lift mostly in public rec centres which have their own kind of vibe, so i think in a parallel situation i often sort of broker or negotiate something that works for everyone. BUT that's because i'm such a shiny little citizen and i have a bit of a streamlining ocd thing. not because the person who wants the thing that i'm using is automatically entitled to get it just because they want it while i'm using it.

    and to be clear: if the person's being an entitled dick, then i don't. because ime going out of your way to accommodate entitled dicks is like feeding meat to tigers and expecting them to turn vegetarian. so sometimes it's just a judgement call whether the right thing to do is stand firm or offer a workaround.
  • slacker80
    slacker80 Posts: 235 Member
    This is too common, Honestly though you have to put'em in their place but within a tactful manner.

    OR how about this. True story, earlier this week at a "Glance" I noticed a fellow female warrior doing lunges. The back of her shirt read "Piss off I'm working" Ear buds in, and wearing a feather-lite Nike cap with the brim low. typically the ear buds and low hat say it all. (DO NOT DISTURB)

    OR......Make simple sign that reads. Respect my space
    NO HAWKING

    OR......DO NOT respond in sets when asked how many are left. Instead answer in TIME
    So you than glance at your watch/phone/wall clock look them directly in the eye and
    sternly say "20 minutes" than immediately insert your ear buds and turn your back to
    insinuate the conversation is over.

    Also always have light cotton blend long sleeve t-shirt in your bag. If you feel you're being watched, than reach for your long sleeve and make brief eye contact with him as you tie it around your waist. This will show that you're feeling violated/uncomfortable and they may get the hint. Do that same for hawkers.

    This is a little bit much but...The "Regulars" don't like to be bothered and they recognize all the other regulars from their shared time frame. Ask one of the 250+ pounders to visit you for a second as soon as "HE" (Solo Alpha Male) is between sets and come improvise a brief show to thwart off a group like the teenie boppers who like to mainly hang, point, stare, giggle and flex their baby fat. It's nice to always know a big guy in there. You'd be surprised to find out how polite and well mannered the "solo alpha males are" they're there for one thing and they respect the etiquette.

    The list goes on but really I don't want to ramble. The females at my super awesome Las Vegas Gym dominate the floors. It's a city of entertainment and everyone wants to be fit. During peak hours it's common to count up to at least 100+ attractive women actively working out within the same time period. Not only that but the LVAC (Las Vegas Athletic Club) caters to women by taking about 1/6 of the gym floor and enclosing it behind doors for WOMEN ONLY. It's an entire fitness area with every piece of cardio equipment, free weights, and machines. Designed for women to enjoy a workout without lookie-lews.

    Sorry I'm bragging about my gym off topic. I sure do hope you find something that works for you, and I'm sorry you must go through these type of shenanigans. good luck to you, and all you other women who lift.
  • LoveMyLife_NYC
    LoveMyLife_NYC Posts: 230 Member
    Thanks, everyone for the advice! Seems I need to learn to be more assertive when working out at that gym. And Slacker80, I love your time response so he's not standing there counting my sets. Thanks, all!
  • jessef593
    jessef593 Posts: 2,272 Member
    shor0814 wrote: »
    VKetoV wrote: »
    Really? When does bench press require the use of a cage? Same for deadlifts. There's no consideration for those who want to do squats. The guy deadlifting should have just allowed him to work in (instead of "marking his territory")...well at least no one was doing bicep curls in a squat rack

    When there is nobody to spot you the cage works great for bench press. The deadlifter was in front of the cage deadlifting, nothing wrong there. If it is anything like my gym there are no extra barbells so benching or deadlifting in or out of the cage ends with the same result since the bar is in use. Doesn't sound like the situation in this case though.


    From the sounds of it, there was a group of guys benching so the need for a spotter should've already been covered. I'm with you, unless someone is doing minimal work and taking 5-10 minute text breaks they can take all the time they need. I've spent an entire 45-60 minute session in a single cage before

  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    With your comment regarding this sort of thing happening at this gym all the time, I'd invest some time evaluating other gyms in the area. Who knows what you might turn up. You shouldn't have to spend so much of your time dealing with *kitten* or teaching grown ups basic manners
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    LoveMyLife_NYC wrote: »
    Thanks, everyone for the advice! Seems I need to learn to be more assertive when working out at that gym. And Slacker80, I love your time response so he's not standing there counting my sets. Thanks, all!

    i like that too. telling people how long means they can be informed about what other work can be fitted into that chunk of time. plus, i like to pre-empt the pressurey hover by saying 'i'll be x minutes, and i can let you know when i'm done'.

    after that they really don't have much reason to stand around breathing up your butt, right?

  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    VKetoV wrote: »
    Really? When does bench press require the use of a cage?


    Pin presses, reverse bands, when there isn't an available designated bench, when you don't have enough competent spotters. Just to name a few.

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