Thoroughly pissed with doctor

Ilovepeppers
Ilovepeppers Posts: 396 Member
edited September 30 in Chit-Chat
Today was my first appointment with a new doctor. Professionally? Hes steller.. He listened to my concerns, seemed knowledgable and spent time with me. Personally? Completely made me feel like ****. He sees my three children waiting in the waiting room with my husband. He says, "are those your children?" I reply "yes, they are." He precedes to ask me what I do for a living.. I inform him that I am a student at the university. He seems satisfied with my answer. He then asks me what my husband does for a living (prying much?) and I inform him that my husband is also a student. He gives me this completely lost look and I swear this next part is true:

He says, "why did you have children?" Confused I ask for clarification. He says, again, "why did you have children if you can't afford them?" EXCUSE ME? Who the hell is he to question my life choices? What makes him think he had insight into my finances? Because it's a clinic I'm visiting? Ever consider that my husband might have workedfor a nice company before being laid off? This a-hole doctor then says "whats your income? Government?" No Mr. doctor.. But thanks for assuming. What. A. Douche.

Long rant but I'm really upset by this. My children are fed, clean, well taken care of, educated, great children.. So I can't afford an expensive doctor right now... Does that mean I can't afford my kids? He based everything on my age (22), number of children, and choice of clinic. I'm so upset :'(
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Replies

  • yankeefamily05
    yankeefamily05 Posts: 657
    Today was my first appointment with a new doctor. Professionally? Hes steller.. He listened to my concerns, seemed knowledgable and spent time with me. Personally? Completely made me feel like ****. He sees my three children waiting in the waiting room with my husband. He says, "are those your children?" I reply "yes, they are." He precedes to ask me what I do for a living.. I inform him that I am a student at the university. He seems satisfied with my answer. He then asks me what my husband does for a living (prying much?) and I inform him that my husband is also a student. He gives me this completely lost look and I swear this next part is true:

    He says, "why did you have children?" Confused I ask for clarification. He says, again, "why did you have children if you can't afford them?" EXCUSE ME? Who the hell is he to question my life choices? What makes him think he had insight into my finances? Because it's a clinic I'm visiting? Ever consider that my husband might have workedfor a nice company before being laid off? This a-hole doctor then says "whats your income? Government?" No Mr. doctor.. But thanks for assuming. What. A. Douche.

    Long rant but I'm really upset by this. My children are fed, clean, well taken care of, educated, great children.. So I can't afford an expensive doctor right now... Does that mean I can't afford my kids? He based everything on my age (22), number of children, and choice of clinic. I'm so upset :'(

    I would have walked out! What a jerk!
  • knowmydestiny
    knowmydestiny Posts: 104 Member
    what a schmuck!
  • arlingtonangel
    arlingtonangel Posts: 73 Member
    Wow I am sorry he was a presumptious *kitten*. I would look into filing a complaint against him.
  • anna_lisa
    anna_lisa Posts: 486 Member
    I would report him.; This completely goes against ethical conduct for a physician
  • Ilovepeppers
    Ilovepeppers Posts: 396 Member
    Yeah, I would have walked out too, normally! But hes the only DR I've found that is seriously looking into my concerns and trying to treat me =/

    Is the care worth being looked down on? I dunno..
  • kailyamie
    kailyamie Posts: 130
    ((((((HUGS))))) Seriously, F him. Don't let it get to you. He's just an ignorant prick who has probably never had to spend a day of his life struggling. I totally know where you're coming from. My husband lost his job last fall and decided to go back to school. I'm a full time student also and we have 3 kids... so I totally understand your position. I am sure you are a great mother. Don't let an ignorant hick doctor make you feel small just because he's a big fancy doctor. It doesn't mean anything.... other than he's completely out of touch. If I were you, I'd file a complaint with the clinic and maybe write a letter to the editor of your local paper... but that's me... Otherwise, take it with a grain of salt and let it go because in the end, you're a better person than he could ever be. What a judgmental @ss! I can't believe that happened to you, I am SO sorry. :(
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    Who the hell is he to question my life choices? What makes him think he had insight into my finances?

    Well, he's to question if he's providing for your government care (not saying that you are on it, but if you are and I couldn't care less, just giving you the other side of the coin) through his hard earned money, why you chose to have 3 children and neither one of you are beyond student status.

    Like I said, what you do is your business. I'm just giving you the other side of the coin. This economy SUCKS and I feel horrible for anyone that is unemployed during it :( it's so difficult to find a job.
  • photorific
    photorific Posts: 577 Member
    Not that I've had experience or know what I'm talking about, but I'm sure there's a way to report him to the medical board... nothing will likely come of it - but it's probably a good thing to do anyways. (Might want to also report him to whoever runs the clinic...)
  • CarterLakerGirl
    CarterLakerGirl Posts: 8
    Totally unprofessional!!! Definitely would find another doctor!!
  • mistyb47711
    mistyb47711 Posts: 861 Member
    I would of said..Look Doc keep to your profession cause your not my financial advisor......And would of told him your a good Dr. but I think your a bit to nosey....
  • adamcf
    adamcf Posts: 126
    You really could have messed with him. Just ask him the same type of stuff about himself. Then at the end, ask him how he got his head stuck so far up his a**.
  • SimplyDeLish
    SimplyDeLish Posts: 539
    You have every right to be upset. I'd probably write a letter to your State Medical Licensing board. They won't do anything but at least it's a complaint!

    We all make choices in life - and sometimes choices are made for us. Congrats on you and your husband going to school to make a better life for your family.

    Here's to you!
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
    This is why living in the UK is great, all doctors are free because we have a fantastic NHS. Nobody goes to private doctors because the free ones are better! But yeah that's pretty rude of him
  • gillianjoon
    gillianjoon Posts: 96 Member
    So you should be pissed off at him what a judgemental jerk I hope you told him that!!!!
  • SusanMcAvoy
    SusanMcAvoy Posts: 445 Member
    I hope you never go back to see that doctor again. Isn't there another clinic around? I would be furious too... what a nerve!! Did you tell him you lost 48 pounds? He should be applauding you for your commitment to health and your commitment to family than insulting you. He had no right to ask you such questions. Please go to se a different doctor next time. He is totally inappropriate.
  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
    Report him to the Better Business Bureau :)
  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
    Oh my gosh! I would have FLEW off the handle at him! How dare he say that to you?!?! How unprofessional! I would NEVER see that doc again and I definately would file a complaint! "What a douche" is right! That's completely uncalled for and ridiculous! I'm pissed for you!! :explode:
  • SusieMarie1
    SusieMarie1 Posts: 10 Member
    I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I have personal experience with this on a few occasions, it tend to happen more because I have some rather serious immune-disorder diseases and other complications, and almost died a few times before I was diagnosed, so i have, unfortunately more than a couple doctor horror stories and know how easily this can happen. Especially when they don't know what's wrong. Also, Dr's tend to be arrogant. So my heart goes out to you, and i hope you do not let that "tape" of the experience start playing in your head, just stop it if the thoughts come back. Doctors aren't on the pedestals they used to be, but some don't seem to realize that. And it still tends to hurt because of their authority position, even if the comments are undeserved and you know it. I am new to this and I am so glad I joined. I hope to make friends on here, so if you have room for new friends just let me know. In the meantime, I hope you can put his rubbish where it belongs, in the rubbish bin.
  • kailyamie
    kailyamie Posts: 130
    You know, this is why this country is going down the crapper.... :grumble:
  • DiamondRubyMom
    DiamondRubyMom Posts: 147 Member
    Sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place. Too often those docs who are really good at what they do, know it and get a god complex. Next time, I'd call him out on a rude comment. It was completely unprofessional. Sometimes doctor's do need what seems like odd information from you to make the best suggestions on medications or treatment plans. This does not give him the right to pass judgement on any choices you have made for yourself. Listen to his professional medical advise and tell him to shut up if he goes beyond that.
  • phyllis5
    phyllis5 Posts: 16 Member
    I work at a hospital as a nurse and see some of the most intelligent people make some of the most STUPID remarks. I would have gotten up and asked him "are you for real" and walked out. If I am not asking for help either finanically or physically from you, you don't get a vote! Find a new doctor and set the old one straight (lost patient ,means lost income).
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
    Does he have someone you can report him to for being an A** Hole!! It is none of his business!!! i would not return to him ever!
  • juicygurl1
    juicygurl1 Posts: 195 Member
    you need to investigate and report his rude and very invasive comments. Both you and your husband have privacy rights. this man should work in a lab, and not with people. what a jerk!
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
    Well, he's to question if he's providing for your government care (not saying that you are on it, but if you are and I couldn't care less, just giving you the other side of the coin) through his hard earned money, why you chose to have 3 children and neither one of you are beyond student status.

    Like I said, what you do is your business. I'm just giving you the other side of the coin. This economy SUCKS and I feel horrible for anyone that is unemployed during it :( it's so difficult to find a job.

    I have to agree with you somewhat... even though some ppl mgiht be pissed off about it you do have a point.... he probably should be prying though... its really none of his business
  • garysgirl719
    garysgirl719 Posts: 235 Member
    Well, he's to question if he's providing for your government care (not saying that you are on it, but if you are and I couldn't care less, just giving you the other side of the coin) through his hard earned money, why you chose to have 3 children and neither one of you are beyond student status.

    Like I said, what you do is your business. I'm just giving you the other side of the coin. This economy SUCKS and I feel horrible for anyone that is unemployed during it :( it's so difficult to find a job.

    I have to agree with you somewhat... even though some ppl mgiht be pissed off about it you do have a point.... he probably should be prying though... its really none of his business

    I think this hit the nail on the head. Maybe you are not on government assistance and what he said was wrong, but I think the above posters are on the track of what he was thinking. I know I get very frustrated when I see someone paying at a store with assistance cards when they have four or five kids.
  • sweet_cece
    sweet_cece Posts: 8
    as a medical professional myself, that is totally unethical and extremely unprofessional!!!

    a patient's life choices should not be interrogated like that. that is your right.

    i'm not sure what you have decided to do, going forward, but i would look into it. i'm sure you won't be visiting that doctor again any time soon, but to leave a doctor's office judged like that, leaving you in tears... is just not right.

    *hugs*
  • mea9
    mea9 Posts: 561 Member
    I wonder if he had a reason to ask such questions. Sometimes that information might give him information about your health status (stress level, emotional status, spousal abuse, even sexual history etc...). That information may be important for him to properly diagnose your issue and take care of your health. Maybe he wanted to know if you really wanted your children or if you were pressured to have them. I don't know why he said what he said but before you write him off you might give him another try. If it happens again ask him, in a polite way, what information he is acctually looking for (ie what does the question give him and how does it apply to the service he is providing).
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
    Well, he's to question if he's providing for your government care (not saying that you are on it, but if you are and I couldn't care less, just giving you the other side of the coin) through his hard earned money, why you chose to have 3 children and neither one of you are beyond student status.

    Like I said, what you do is your business. I'm just giving you the other side of the coin. This economy SUCKS and I feel horrible for anyone that is unemployed during it :( it's so difficult to find a job.

    I have to agree with you somewhat... even though some ppl mgiht be pissed off about it you do have a point.... he probably should be prying though... its really none of his business

    I think this hit the nail on the head. Maybe you are not on government assistance and what he said was wrong, but I think the above posters are on the track of what he was thinking. I know I get very frustrated when I see someone paying at a store with assistance cards when they have four or five kids.

    They could have had the kids before getting into financial difficulty? Plus like you get those intense catholics that think they'll go to hell if they use a condom so they end up having big families. Plus like aren't benefits limited to just a few years in America? Like you're not allowed to live on them forever unless you're disabled or something?
  • Ilovepeppers
    Ilovepeppers Posts: 396 Member
    Well, he's to question if he's providing for your government care (not saying that you are on it, but if you are and I couldn't care less, just giving you the other side of the coin) through his hard earned money, why you chose to have 3 children and neither one of you are beyond student status.

    Like I said, what you do is your business. I'm just giving you the other side of the coin. This economy SUCKS and I feel horrible for anyone that is unemployed during it :( it's so difficult to find a job.

    I have to agree with you somewhat... even though some ppl mgiht be pissed off about it you do have a point.... he probably should be prying though... its really none of his business

    I think this hit the nail on the head. Maybe you are not on government assistance and what he said was wrong, but I think the above posters are on the track of what he was thinking. I know I get very frustrated when I see someone paying at a store with assistance cards when they have four or five kids.

    They could have had the kids before getting into financial difficulty? Plus like you get those intense catholics that think they'll go to hell if they use a condom so they end up having big families. Plus like aren't benefits limited to just a few years in America? Like you're not allowed to live on them forever unless you're disabled or something?


    This isnt related to my post but whenever I see someone out using government aid with chikdren I'm glad. I mean, of course I wish they were better off, but once the government takes our taxes THEY then own the money... It's no longer"our" tax money but their revenue and I'm glad they are using that money to help people in need instead of fixing some road that doesn't need to be fixed.
  • pumpkinmoccasin
    pumpkinmoccasin Posts: 316
    Wooow. If it has nothing to do with your health it's none of his business!! You look great, by the way, awesome display pic!
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