Frusturated beyond belief
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How often do you eat out with friends? Restaurant food can contain a surprising amounts of calories!
I have similar stats to yours. I eat back all the calories my fitbit tells me to and I am not losing as fast as I would like, but it's about 1 pound a week averaged out.
I don't do much exercise at the moment but am moderately active so end up with about 1500 calories per day (sometimes 1200 on lazy days).0 -
How's your sleep? And how are your general stress levels. Cortisol is a weight loss killer. Lack of proper sleep and too much stress will cause this hormone to negate a lot of your weight loss efforts. I hit a lot of plateaus (even in a deficit) and sleep was a major contributor. I changed my sleep patterns (along with my workout time) and it made a significant difference and put me back on track. Just a thought. May not be the answer, but throwing it out there.
I usually get about 7 hours of sleep for me, which if I let me body sleep without an alarm is just enough to feel rested (between 7-8 hours). Sometimes I'll get less because of work (random night shift), or going out. As for stress level, I am more stressed out about weight loss rather than anything else going on0 -
So you went to the gym 5x last week and have continued to remain aware in your diet and logging. We should all love to mess up like that!
Your size 2 friend - I used to think about that sort of thing here and there. Then I realized, they've spent a lifetime building the habits that have them at their current size, and I'm basically here playing catch up. Maybe they've worked very hard too, and it's simply been done and maintained over a much longer period.
I feel guilty the moment I stray from my intended diet/exercise plan and feel like I've ruined my progress for days to come. Mostly because that is exactly what happens. I eat out, see the scale jump 1-2 pounds and stay there for the remainder of the week.
As to my friend and comparing, yes not good, but also the size 2 was not built on good habits but her natural body which was a size 0 before and now she has gained weight and is "chubby".0 -
I was that size 2 practically my whole adult life. I ate what i wanted and NEVER exercised, i didnt pay attention to calories, nor did i care. I also put on a fair amount of weight when i was pregnant with both of my kids, which effortlessly melted off quickly when they were born.
This all worked for me, until it didn't. .. I started gaining weight at around age 40, and now i have to count and log every *kitten* calorie that passes my lips.
I'm not really sure what my point is lol other than things eventually even out for us ALL. You do you, and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.1 -
Christine_72 wrote: »I was that size 2 practically my whole adult life. I ate what i wanted and NEVER exercised, i didnt pay attention to calories, nor did i care. I also put on a fair amount of weight when i was pregnant with both of my kids, which effortlessly melted off quickly when they were born.
This all worked for me, until it didn't. .. I started gaining weight at around age 40, and now i have to count and log every *kitten* calorie that passes my lips.
I'm not really sure what my point is lol other than things eventually even out for us ALL. You do you, and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
I hope this does not come across as being bitter, but I wouldn't call that "evening out". I'm 25 years old and have never known a day of normal weight in my adult or teenage life. I never binged, purged, or had an unhealthy relationship with food. I've always been conscious that I did not over eat in front of others because I was ALWAYS the big one in the group. And looking at the woman in my family, I know when I'm older this will only get worse/harder.0 -
coolcoci_115 wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »I was that size 2 practically my whole adult life. I ate what i wanted and NEVER exercised, i didnt pay attention to calories, nor did i care. I also put on a fair amount of weight when i was pregnant with both of my kids, which effortlessly melted off quickly when they were born.
This all worked for me, until it didn't. .. I started gaining weight at around age 40, and now i have to count and log every *kitten* calorie that passes my lips.
I'm not really sure what my point is lol other than things eventually even out for us ALL. You do you, and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
I hope this does not come across as being bitter, but I wouldn't call that "evening out". I'm 25 years old and have never known a day of normal weight in my adult or teenage life. I never binged, purged, or had an unhealthy relationship with food. I've always been conscious that I did not over eat in front of others because I was ALWAYS the big one in the group. And looking at the woman in my family, I know when I'm older this will only get worse/harder.
Fair enough, and i completely understand. Teens and young adults should not have the burden of struggling with weight and suffering through weight loss. These are supposed to be happy carefree days with happy memories.
My best friend through my childhood and teenage years was overweight the whole time (and still is), and it preoccupied so much of her time and thoughts. Dating was never really entertained because of her body insecurities.
Reading your post reminded me of her. I think you sound normal and what most people would think, not bitter at all.
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Christine_72 wrote: »My best friend through my childhood and teenage years was overweight the whole time (and still is), and it preoccupied so much of her time and thoughts. Dating was never really entertained because of her body insecurities.
^ This... If I could lose weight for the amount of time I've spent thinking about my weight, and the tears shed in the fitting room I would be non-existent. I used to love swimming when I was a young child, and I've dreaded the days someone asks to go to the beach. I have not owned a pair of shorts as an adult. It doesn't matter if it's a 100 degrees and I'm sweating bucket, I will still pull on those stifling jeans. Those constricting body shapers goes under every skirt or dress. And dating... well let's just say that that is an activity that others partake in, not me0 -
Are you logging those "hiccups"? I went through your diary (quickly, admittedly) and did not find any of those.
But maybe I missed it.
A meal larger than usual can add easily 1000 calories to your regular diet. Divided by 7 , that's approx. 140 per day for the entire week.
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coolcoci_115 wrote: »I weigh afterwards because I'm cooking in large batches rather than individual portions and will store the remainder in the fridge otherwise would just stick to raw weight.
What is it that you are making that you feel you need to weigh it before and after? If I make a recipe with many ingredients, then I do a recipe calculator for it, and calc the nutrition for the whole thing, and servings. If I just cook say, chicken, then there is no need to weigh after - I simply weigh for cooked chicken.coolcoci_115 wrote: »As an update I messed up yesterday
I didn't go to the gym and ended up eating out and having tiaramisu for dinner (it was delicious). Weight went up this morning by 1.6 pounds overnight. Yes this is definitely not accurate, and has to do with water retention and all the salted peanuts I had before bed while watching the Oscars. But from experience I know this will take forever to go back down. Also my goal was to hit the gym 6 times in the last week and only went 5.
I agree - the salty thing does take a couple of days to recover from. It sucks, but it is what it is. That's a really good incentive to NOT do it in the first place. Remember that next time.
Missing the gym one night won't make much difference - so don't worry about that.
Keep at it. It does take an effort - it really does. But it will be worth it!!
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I've struggled over the years too.But one of the things I've learned is NOT to avoid fat.You need some fat in your diet.I notice you said your food was prepped without any additional fats.An evening snack of a whole grain cracker,plus about a teaspoon of peanut butter might help. I know it helped me to add a little fat to my life.I generally don't eat fried foods so they're not a problem,but I do use mostly olive oil.It can't hurt to try it for a couple of weeks.1
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coolcoci_115 wrote: »So you went to the gym 5x last week and have continued to remain aware in your diet and logging. We should all love to mess up like that!
Your size 2 friend - I used to think about that sort of thing here and there. Then I realized, they've spent a lifetime building the habits that have them at their current size, and I'm basically here playing catch up. Maybe they've worked very hard too, and it's simply been done and maintained over a much longer period.
I feel guilty the moment I stray from my intended diet/exercise plan and feel like I've ruined my progress for days to come. Mostly because that is exactly what happens. I eat out, see the scale jump 1-2 pounds and stay there for the remainder of the week.
As to my friend and comparing, yes not good, but also the size 2 was not built on good habits but her natural body which was a size 0 before and now she has gained weight and is "chubby".
Hmm. It's definitely different since we're talking about childhood and teenage years. For me, as an adult, I think back to the years I spent not exercising, to when I ate whatever I wanted when people said, hey that pizza / cream cheese / milk shake will make you fat. They may have been oversimplifying, but in my case what they all had in common was these people who were my age a decade or more ago were already conscious about limiting calories and not downing calorie bombs on a regular basis. How much earlier than even that long ago, did they build those habits, and who helped them do it? *sigh* who knows.
I can understand it's legit more frustrating when you didn't go the calorie bomb route but in hindsight maybe just a couple hundred more calories per day over X years, and voila! Need to lose weight. Sucks.
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I am 5'10", 87kg and reasonably active. I weigh and record everything and don't "sometimes eat out with friends" etc unless it fits in my calorie limit. My goal is 70kg. So 17kg or roughly 34lbs left to go - not as close to goal as you are. I can't lose weight on 1700 cals a day, it wasn't until I dropped down to 1450 that I started losing again, and slowly. I'm guessing if you're shorter than me, and closer to goal, it's just possible that you are not at enough of a deficit - either by incorrect recording in your diary or you're eating at close to your maintenance calories. Everyone's different and those calculators are a guide only - a starting point. YOu have to tweak it until you find what works.0
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Also, Op, I took a peek at your diary, and you've not been logging everything. And where are those peanuts on Sunday night? Not trying to bust you here, but just want to really press the point that if you don't make yourself log every single thing, it is really easy, mentally, to allow yourself to grab another handful of something without too much guilt...until afterwards you realize what you did. I know...I am a snack-food queen - so I log ALL DAY LONG. Everything.
Please get into the habit of logging every morsel. It really will help you.2 -
Update after Week 3:
So it's been 3 weeks of starting more intense exercise regimen and my diet as outlined above. Over the last weekend (Friday, Sat, Sun) I have completely fallen off all diet/exercise plan as I had family in town. I tried to record what I can, some of things I just don't even know the ingredients and I missed two gym days (Sunday is rest day). I probably ate upwards of 2500 calories on Friday & Saturday, maybe 1500 Sunday (burger + fries + dessert only meal that day). In addition to not losing any weight in the past 3 weeks, the scale has read 3 pounds since Friday morning.
Fri - 160.8 lbs
Sat - 163.2 lbs
Sun - 165.0 lbs
Mon - 163.4 lbs
We shall see how much of this is due to water retention over the next day or so. But part of me was hoping I was one of those people who paradoxically increase their calories and see weight loss. It looks like this is not the case. I'm now even more at a loss. I've been entertaining what additional changes I need to make. Tracking water intake? Changing to a ketogenic diet? Separating cardio and strength training (I'm not sure I can find time to this)? Drop my calories to 1200 seeing as maybe 1500-1600 is maintenance for me? Screw weight loss and just try to increase fitness?
I'm tired, mentally exhausted. I feel like I'm just stuck with this body. 30+% body fat. I just wanted to get to a normal size by summer time (June) so I'm not running away from the beach and vacations. Is this really supposed to be so hard at my age?
I will continue to exercise and just go back to my meal plan mostly because all the food is already prepared anyways but I just have no more expectations anymore.1 -
You keep "falling off plan". You don't need to reduce calories, up exercise, change your way of eating to keto (you'd still not lose if you overeat), track water, split exercise.
You need to log. Every single day. You need to minimise the amount of unknowns you are eating.
Until you do that consistently for 6-8 weeks you can't bemoan not losing and attempt drastic changes that will probably only be harder to adhere to.
You have to want it. You have to be ready to make the commitment. You have to be consistent. You have to be honest with yourself.11 -
And you know what. IDGAF what I look like on the beach because wahoo I'm on the beach and it's warm and lovely. The first 5 minutes after I strip down I may feel little self conscious, then you notice nobody is looking at you as they're too absorbed in their own fun.
It's a total waste of time and energy hating yourself and I strongly believe you can doom yourself to failure trying to hate yourself to being the person you want to be.10 -
Initial observations after reading through this thread:
OP - I'm not sure your expectations are reasonable. Aiming for 25% deficit from TDEE is too aggressive for the amount of weight you have to lose. Comparing yourself to a size 2 friend is not going to do anything but create additional frustration for you. Continuing to cut calories because you aren't getting the results you are looking for, when you are exercising strenuously and doing quite a bit of strength training shows that maybe your efforts are not aligned with your goals.
Take a deep breath, take a step back, and make sure that your goals are reasonable, healthy (body and mind), and achievable. Once you've confirmed what your goals are (is it a certain weight? a certain clothing size? a certain body fat percentage? something less tangible like a certain body aesthetic when you put on a swimsuit? then you can establish an appropriate calorie target, macro split, and fitness routine to help achieve that goal.
Right now it sort of seems like you are bouncing around out of sheer frustration and that's usually not going to take you anywhere but down a path of more frustration.
Good luck - and try to appreciate the success you have had!4 -
coolcoci_115 wrote: »Update after Week 3:
So it's been 3 weeks of starting more intense exercise regimen and my diet as outlined above. Over the last weekend (Friday, Sat, Sun) I have completely fallen off all diet/exercise plan as I had family in town. I tried to record what I can, some of things I just don't even know the ingredients and I missed two gym days (Sunday is rest day). I probably ate upwards of 2500 calories on Friday & Saturday, maybe 1500 Sunday (burger + fries + dessert only meal that day). In addition to not losing any weight in the past 3 weeks, the scale has read 3 pounds since Friday morning.
Fri - 160.8 lbs
Sat - 163.2 lbs
Sun - 165.0 lbs
Mon - 163.4 lbs
We shall see how much of this is due to water retention over the next day or so. But part of me was hoping I was one of those people who paradoxically increase their calories and see weight loss. It looks like this is not the case. I'm now even more at a loss. I've been entertaining what additional changes I need to make. Tracking water intake? Changing to a ketogenic diet? Separating cardio and strength training (I'm not sure I can find time to this)? Drop my calories to 1200 seeing as maybe 1500-1600 is maintenance for me? Screw weight loss and just try to increase fitness?
I'm tired, mentally exhausted. I feel like I'm just stuck with this body. 30+% body fat. I just wanted to get to a normal size by summer time (June) so I'm not running away from the beach and vacations. Is this really supposed to be so hard at my age?
I will continue to exercise and just go back to my meal plan mostly because all the food is already prepared anyways but I just have no more expectations anymore.
It may help to talk to a counselor. It sounds like you have a warped view of normal. 30% body fat is average. I know when I go to the beach I don't judge everyone on their looks. I don't care. I'm there to have fun.
Be a little easier on yourself. You are within a healthy weight range and it's hard to loose when you are.3 -
Sorry I haven't read the whole OP post yet, but... "I am at a loss for what else I can do. I have been at this weight loss thing on and off for the past 1.5 years now and no matter how many times I throw my all into it and try to do everything right I don't see the results I expect"
If you have been on and off for a year and a half you haven't thrown your all into it yet.
Ok, I'll go read the rest, and see the part I missed that makes me look like an idiot!2 -
"And you know what. IDGAF what I look like on the beach because wahoo I'm on the beach and it's warm and lovely. The first 5 minutes after I strip down I may feel little self conscious, then you notice nobody is looking at you as they're too absorbed in their own fun.
It's a total waste of time and energy hating yourself and I strongly believe you can doom yourself to failure trying to hate yourself to being the person you want to be. "
I cant stress enough how important it is to get this into your head. There will ALWAYS be someone who is younger, pretty, healthier, smarter, happier, richer, taller, etc - and they dont give a red rats *kitten* about you and your issues. Just be you and focus on what you can do to improve yourself without comparing to anyone else.3 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »coolcoci_115 wrote: »coolcoci_115 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »I read through the whole thing and maybe I missed it? Are you eating back exercise calories?
Nope sorry I forgot to add this. I do NOT eat back exercise calories.
If everything stated is true, and you are accurately weighing and logging everything, it may be time to see a doctor. Maybe get your thyroid function checked.
Please read the whole post, I am in the medical field. I do not have signs, symptoms or lab work that is consistent with hypothyroidism, PCOS, Cushing's disease, etc.Also this is the third time I have posted to this forum in the last 2 years. I have seen this algorithim multiple times.
I see this algorithim multiple times as well. The answer to everything I guess.
Pretty much, yes, it's the answer to 95% of the questions posted about weight loss.1 -
You know, the only thing I would think about changing if I were you is your choice of food. Your meal plan looks pretty boring and tasteless. For dinner you have plain meat, plain sweet potato, plain veggies? It sounds like you believe that "diet food" is the only way to go and that may have a huge impact on why you keep going off plan.
Check out some Skinnytaste recipes (they are SO good and calorie deficit friendly). There is absolutely no reason you shouldn't be enjoying everything you are eating.3 -
I see very few entries in your diary that look like system entries. It seems like you usually use the user-created entries, which are prone to error.
Unfortunately, the green check marks are used for both user-created entries and system entries. To find system entries for whole foods, I get the syntax from the USDA database and plug that into MFP.
For packaged foods, I verify the label on my package against what I find in MFP.
Entries for whole foods that came from the USDA database generally include information on whether the food is raw or cooked:
Your dinner on the 28th used user-created entries:
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coolcoci_115 wrote: »Update after Week 3:
So it's been 3 weeks of starting more intense exercise regimen and my diet as outlined above. Over the last weekend (Friday, Sat, Sun) I have completely fallen off all diet/exercise plan as I had family in town. I tried to record what I can, some of things I just don't even know the ingredients and I missed two gym days (Sunday is rest day). I probably ate upwards of 2500 calories on Friday & Saturday, maybe 1500 Sunday (burger + fries + dessert only meal that day). In addition to not losing any weight in the past 3 weeks, the scale has read 3 pounds since Friday morning.
Fri - 160.8 lbs
Sat - 163.2 lbs
Sun - 165.0 lbs
Mon - 163.4 lbs
We shall see how much of this is due to water retention over the next day or so. But part of me was hoping I was one of those people who paradoxically increase their calories and see weight loss. It looks like this is not the case. I'm now even more at a loss. I've been entertaining what additional changes I need to make. Tracking water intake? Changing to a ketogenic diet? Separating cardio and strength training (I'm not sure I can find time to this)? Drop my calories to 1200 seeing as maybe 1500-1600 is maintenance for me? Screw weight loss and just try to increase fitness?
I'm tired, mentally exhausted. I feel like I'm just stuck with this body. 30+% body fat. I just wanted to get to a normal size by summer time (June) so I'm not running away from the beach and vacations. Is this really supposed to be so hard at my age?
I will continue to exercise and just go back to my meal plan mostly because all the food is already prepared anyways but I just have no more expectations anymore.
I have no doubt you'll get to the body you deserve. All the hard work you're doing is paying off, just realize that this is a marathon, not a sprint. For you to make the realizations you have so far are great. Just keep this up and realize that you and only you are in control.0 -
You sound, as you say, totally exhausted with the effort you are putting into your weight loss/ health and fitness goals.
Take a step back and look at what will work for you. Long term.
Your stress levels at the moment are probably raising your cortisol levels something wicked, and this will hinder scale movement.
You go off your calorie goal often, you said this in your first post, and it has happened again because of visitors in your most recent post.
I think you have to accept that this happens and work it into your goal. This can be done by working with a weekly deficit and knowledge of what your maintenance is.
Aim to not go over your maintenance each week and staying as close to your deficit as you can depending on what is happening that particular week.
No visitors, no meals out- you should hit your deficit that week.
A planned meal out at the weekend- shave 50-100 cals a day for the meal- you should hit your deficit or pretty close.
An unexpected meal out at the end of the week and no chance to adjust your goal- eat it, enjoy it, log it, then compare what the cal difference that has made to your weekly loss. Accept it and move on.
Your exercise.
Take a step back here too, look at how much you want to do long term, and what is sustainable without stress or impinging on your NEAT.
Over exercising and under eating, as well as raising stress levels, can cause lethargy and a decrease in your daily activity.
This in turn lowers the NEAT component of your daily calorie burn so throws off the calorie goal MFP has set for you- lowering it.
That is also why it is important to eat back at least a portion of your exercise calories.
Sit back, think of what is working for you, reduce the stress in it by making it as simple as possible, and look at it as long term, not short.
Oh as far as the bikini goes, I have the jiggly tummy, do I care? Not a bit.
Do I care what others think? Not really.
I do me.
It may help you to wear it around the house so you get comfortable seeing yourself in it. Choosing a bikini/swimsuit that suits your body type and wearing it with confidence is the trick to overcoming perceived body flaws. If you are wearing it looking furtive and hiding people notice, wear it with panach and no one does.
Cheers, h.0
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