Is now a good time??

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joyfullee
joyfullee Posts: 23 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been working at losing weight since I gave birth to my daughter 15 years ago. I have been on every diet there is (EVERY), and even taken prescription pills. I have about 80 lbs to lose.
Here is the problem.
My husband just was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer in January and is beginning chemo and radiation next week. We have 4 young children. Life is really crazy, and I don't always control meals. Sometimes a friend brings us dinner or we get carry out. Or cereal. A friend in my church just told me that a group of ladies would be dropping off freezer meals. What a huge blessing for us! But.... My waist line is growing again because I don't have a weightloss plan. I have been thinking of going to join weight watchers instead of doing something extreme like low carb. But I'm not sure this is the time in my life to make a commitment to something like that. But I'm afraid of what will happen to my already large waistline if I DON'T do something. What would you do?

Replies

  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    edited March 2017
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    It's tough in your circumstances with so much on your plate. If your husband needs, or winds up needing a caretaker, being well yourself is important. If you don't have a choice of food, you can still scale back the portions and start walking for exercise.

    Do you have access to counseling?
  • BeChill73
    BeChill73 Posts: 75 Member
    edited March 2017
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    Honestly? I would wait until things are a little more "normal". With so much going on and a lot of stress associated with that, adding calorie counting or a diet plan to the mix will add additional demands on your time and energy. I would just have 2 goals for each day:

    1. To swap one food item out with a better choice (either choose a healthier option or a smaller serve).
    2. To add one bit of incidental exercise to each day, e.g. park further away and walk, choose to take the stairs instead of elevator, or leave the washing basket in the laundry and walk each piece of clothing to the line one by one to peg it out.

    Those two goals should be fairly simple to achieve and might be a good short term compromise until you are in a better place emotionally.
  • PixelPuff
    PixelPuff Posts: 901 Member
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    This isn't something you do temporarily, it is a life change. Otherwise, you'll just slowly go back to where you used to be when done. There is no other time than 'now'. What is the future, than some put-off 'now', when the situation may be worse, when you may be further from your goal?

    If it is too much for you at the moment to sit and measure/log everything, just try to eat very reasonable, smaller portions, instead. Snack on fruit whenever possible. If they are dropping off freezer meals, that means it is something that will definitely 'keep', and last quite a while, so no rush to eat more to get rid of them.
  • Heather4448
    Heather4448 Posts: 908 Member
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    Personally, I wouldn't focus on calorie counting now. However, you should try to go to the gym 3-5 times a week because...1) You need some time that is dedicated only to you. 2) Your Husband would probably never tell you this, but he would like to left alone once in a while. 3)You need to do some strength training; caregiving is hard work.
    This is just my personal experience, so take it with a grain of salt.
    Prayers to you and yours.
  • CafeRacer808
    CafeRacer808 Posts: 2,396 Member
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    It sort of depends on the type of person you are. You're going through what I have to imagine is a very stressful time. Dieting (read: changing one's lifestyle) could very well add an extra layer of unneeded stress to your life. On the other hand, counting calories and being more mindful of how much you're eating might afford you a level of control over your life, which can sometimes help us cope with stressful situations or life events that we can't control.

    I'm sorry to hear about your husband and I wish you and your family all the best.
  • ronjsteele1
    ronjsteele1 Posts: 1,064 Member
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    As the person at my church that coordinates meals for those that need them, I can say it's VERY difficult to have any control over what people are bringing for you. That said, having been on the receiving end as well, I can tell you how much those meals will be a blessing to you.

    Given your circumstances (and having been a caregiver for someone with cancer for two years), you are going to need to be as healthy as you can be and you're also going to just want to feel good.

    I would suggest just starting by measuring what you eat that other people bring you. It's not counting calories but it will begin to teach portion control- even if not perfect. Weighing food brought to you won't tell you much since you won't know what's in it for a calorie count. So I would just use a one cup measuring cup and make that your portion size to start with. You can weigh what you make, even if you don't track it here. Although tracking might give you a sense of control.

    I would suggest dropping your husband off at the front doors of doctor's offices and then parking your car a distance away. This will increase how much you're walking. I'm not sure I would start a formal exercise program unless you would enjoy it. What you want to do is avoid added stress ("I didn't work out today") but do things that give you a chance to breathe and relax ("it felt good to walk in the sun from the car to the docs office"). Basically, anything that brings you a sense of peace and relaxation and not stress (you have enough right now).

    I'm sorry you are having to walk this road. Do take care of yourself through this process. Your kids need you feeling well too. It is hard to take care of yourself with young kids and being caregiver in an illness. Try to find a person that can give you 3-4hrs at a time once a week where you can decompress. Whether that's grocery shopping alone, cleaning your house alone without kids, getting your nails done, going for a slow walk in the sun or at a park. Whatever it is that will allow you some space to process all you're going through and rejuvenate yourself. I cannot emphasize how important this will be for you.

    If losing weight will make you feel better (it would me) and you can accept that some days will be better then others (we all have them), then I say start now. You'll be glad you did.

    Best wishes.

  • brendaea1
    brendaea1 Posts: 5 Member
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    My husband has brain cancer, and we have 3 year old twins. While no one is bringing us meals, I would suggest you take care of yourself at the same time as taking care of your husband. You'll need to feel better for endurance and for being able to take care of the rest of your family. Get a roasted chicken and bag salad at the grocery store, so you always have a fall back plan. I also like to make chicken vegetable soup and have it as a strand-by.
  • metalmeow1
    metalmeow1 Posts: 110 Member
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    OP, I'm in a similar situation.

    You're at a point to where you can't handle anything else, or you need a distraction to help keep you sane. Judging by this post, it looks like you're up for a focus-change.

    It only takes a couple seconds to upload calories on MFP. And taking care of your physical state works wonders at also maintaining a healthy mental state. Additionally, your husband seeing your strength will make him stronger too (optimism at the very least. Later you will thank yourself for making his time as fulfilling as possible, and this will also help you cope.)

    A hard path is easier when you're healthy... Keep that in mind. Hugs and love from a distance ♥

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