Where do I find Will power...

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Jacquey16
Jacquey16 Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
:) I'm a good person...with some bad habits. First I'm a wife, mother, sister, daughter, best friend and nurse. I try to live a good life. And it's great don't get me wrong. But I want it to last. I smoke...I drink...I don't eat right...I don't exercise. And I blame everything for that. Everytime I start to do good...my mind clears and all the little bad things just make me wanna give up.
So...my question is...
Where do I get my will power...or how do I strengthen mine.
Thanks...for anything!...except negativity!...don't want that please! ;)

Replies

  • Hello_its_Dan
    Hello_its_Dan Posts: 406 Member
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    http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower.aspx
  • Hello_its_Dan
    Hello_its_Dan Posts: 406 Member
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    Interesting read.
    In school we learned about Ego Depletion.
    Looks like it's been debunked.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/cover_story/2016/03/ego_depletion_an_influential_theory_in_psychology_may_have_just_been_debunked.html
  • Hello_its_Dan
    Hello_its_Dan Posts: 406 Member
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    Now a question for you OP:

    What need does smoking, drinking, and not exercising fulfill in your life?
    What's it like now, and how would you rather it be?
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    I'd pick a first step. Like, track your steps and add 1000 a day. Then smoke 10 less cigarettes a day. Things like that. As your self- esteem picks up and you start realizing that you really can exercise more and smoke less, you can expand. It may not work for you to try to do a ton at once. Baby steps. Crawl before you walk, walk before you run. You have many years of habits to replace. That takes time.

    And, don't compare yourself to others. You're a beautiful human being just the way you are. But life can be more fulfilling when we're healthier so your goals are admirable.
  • eahrenee
    eahrenee Posts: 157 Member
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    Good for you for wanting to be better. I quit smoking 9 years ago for my children. I watched my father die of cancer when he was 54, and I wanted to live longer than that for my kids. It was so hard, but remember, even if you have a moment of weakness, you can always start again. Its a lifelong journey of starting again. For me, quitting smoking contributed to 70 lbs of weight gain. Now, my motivation for weight lolss is wanting to be healthy and feeling good in my skin. Hang in there, you can do it.
  • SammiG01
    SammiG01 Posts: 105 Member
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    You describe yourself by saying who you are to other people. Wife, mother, friend etc. And you are a nurse. You are a caregiver. You look after everyone else. Maybe you need to figure out how to save some of that nurturing for yourself? If you were your patient, your child, your sister, your friend....what advice would you have to give? What kind words of encouragement would you give? Do you deserve less? We all need to learn how to be our own best friends.....I know I do.....bet you do too?
  • becgraceevemaggie
    becgraceevemaggie Posts: 26 Member
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    This is just the thing that has been on my mind. I do so well at eating healthily until I'm on my own for any length of time. I think the idea of thinking about willpower as learning new sets of habits really interesting and for myself I will certainly try to do this...slowly. Thanks.
  • cbl40
    cbl40 Posts: 281 Member
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    You find the motivation within yourself. When you are done making excuses and really, I mean, REALLY want to get healthy, you will find it. Best of luck, you CAN do this.
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
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    Motivation is like the tide, it will come and go. Work on creating habits; one or two at a time. It is hard work to change habits. But if you think about it, those that are most successful cultivate daily habits.
  • Sira125
    Sira125 Posts: 152 Member
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    It will be harder to stop smoking, etc. if you keep everything else the way it has been, same restaurants, same bars, maybe same friends. I recommend reading Rewire as I feel like it really helped me although I don't agree with the author on everything. Also, I recommend preplanning meals in order to prevent decision-fatigue.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    You have many people counting on you to be there. Make time for yourself to become a better you. It is much quicker to grab fast food or a cigarette or a drink than to commit to 20 minutes of exercise a day or planning healthy meals and cooking. Your problem may not be will power as much as not being selfish enough with your time.
  • bwhitty67
    bwhitty67 Posts: 162 Member
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    It's more about commitment than willpower. Dont over commit, choose one part of your life you want to work on. Focus just on that, once you have that pattern down add another ... like start with diet then add in a little exercise, even if it's just 10 or 15 minutes.
    I had to do this myself otherwise it was very overwhelming...
  • GrayRider61
    GrayRider61 Posts: 337 Member
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    Pick one habit to work on. An easy one to start with. In my opinion, this site isnt really about diet and exercise plans. Its about makibg positive changes in your life. I recommend a book, Level Up Your Life, and a website, nerdfitness.com. Take a look at those & let me know what you think.

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