Worried for friend

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idiocracy
idiocracy Posts: 275 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My friend is trying to lose weight and lost 20lbs so far. She looks great. She lost the pounds by dieting and no exercise, but I am worried about her. According to her, she has a light breakfast, a salad for lunch and a Herbalife shake for dinner. She doesn't eat anything after 1 pm except for the shake. Carbs only once/week. She said she is trying to keep it under 1000 calories/day, but my worry is that it is too drastic. I think she is starving herself. She sais she is feeling great, that she feels lean and her digestive system is cleansed. I do not know what to tell her, she is too stubborn to understand. As for myself, if I lose 1 pound per week, I'm happy as long as the scale is going down. Any advice for her?

Replies

  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    No advice for your friend, because she isn't looking for any. ;)
  • hyperkate
    hyperkate Posts: 178 Member
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    Hi. Just to let you know my mate is doing a diet and has been since january of 400 cals a day, sometimes up to 800. She is tiny but says she would rather have my physique as I am toned. I would worry for her and try to advise but in the long run she will do what she likes. What works for some doesn't work for others :-)
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
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    agreed, if her mind is set, you can't change it. Just like you can't motivate someone to start losing weight in the first place..
  • skinnyhappy
    skinnyhappy Posts: 152 Member
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    Eventually that diet will catch up to her and she'll swing one of two ways: 1) she'll start eating again, and she'll eat A LOT and she'll gain weight. Best you can do is be there to support her. OR 2) her weight loss stops, so she'll restrict even more. This'll make her miserable, too. Best you can do? Be there for support. SHE has to make the decision to be healthy, so continue setting a healthy, happy example, and EVENTUALLY she'll wise up. Stay happy, motivated, strong and emotionally available and everything'll work out :D
  • Tdance5678
    Tdance5678 Posts: 23 Member
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    I agree with Atlantique . . . she will find out that hard way that's not the way to do it.
  • dfborders
    dfborders Posts: 474 Member
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    Unfortunately, speaking from my own experience, if she doesn't want advice you can give it but she won't take it and she won't listen to it. Just be there for her and if you start to notice she is getting sickly then maybe try to talk to her but not with advice more with a heart-to-heart - one friend really scared for another. Good luck - you are in a tough position - I hope it works out for you and your friend.
  • Katie3784
    Katie3784 Posts: 543
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    No advice for your friend, because she isn't looking for any. ;)
    Agreed. You can't change someone who does not think she needs to change.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    My friend is trying to lose weight and lost 20lbs so far. She looks great. She lost the pounds by dieting and no exercise, but I am worried about her. According to her, she has a light breakfast, a salad for lunch and a Herbalife shake for dinner. She doesn't eat anything after 1 pm except for the shake. Carbs only once/week. She said she is trying to keep it under 1000 calories/day, but my worry is that it is too drastic. I think she is starving herself. She sais she is feeling great, that she feels lean and her digestive system is cleansed. I do not know what to tell her, she is too stubborn to understand. As for myself, if I lose 1 pound per week, I'm happy as long as the scale is going down. Any advice for her?

    I have an idea, sneak some oatmeal and flax oil into her shake, this will add carbs, fat and calories.
  • fastbelly
    fastbelly Posts: 727 Member
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    I don't believe in diets point!
    These are great for small weight loss in a short period of time, that's all.

    What I believe in is a sustained lifestyle.

    For her, she seems to have made up her mind, all I'd say to her would be, listen you're my friend and I think you should research a bit about healthy nutrition, too much is bad but so is too few. In the end of the day its up to her to make her own choices.
  • photorific
    photorific Posts: 577 Member
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    To each her (or his) own... it doesn't sound super healthy or sustainable, but also doesn't sound like anything you need to worry about. Especially if she's feeling good.
  • kathyhull
    kathyhull Posts: 327 Member
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    First of all, unsolicited advice is usually received as criticism. But you’re in a tough place because you are worried about your friend. All you can do is tell her how you feel; that you are worried about her health, and then be there for her and set a good example for her. It’s sooooo hard to realize that we cannot change other peoples' behavior, only our reaction to it.
  • idiocracy
    idiocracy Posts: 275 Member
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    Thank you for your comments and very good advice. I will "monitor" her and see how she progresses and be there for her, but I will not encourage her "21 diet plan". I will just try to set an example for her....and that would be a good motivator for me to eat healthy as well. Thank you for your support!
  • Syreeta6
    Syreeta6 Posts: 377 Member
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    Some people learn the hard way. She'll realize she is going about it the wrong way when she gets tired of the "diet plan" and gains all of it back!
  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
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    Well, hopefully she doesn't get hurt, but if she declines you will be there for her and she'll see that her friend is losing weight, is healthy, and is happy. Hang in there.
  • sheroar50
    sheroar50 Posts: 9
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    unfortunately her plan wont work long term...its always nice to have that rapid weight loss (a jumpstart) and of course you're going to feel great at first, look whats happening!! but......your body cannot and will not continue on this track... eventually it will eat off its self if it is not getting the nutrients and calories it needs to function....after she stops this particular "diet" it is likely she will gain the wieght back plus.... ;(
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    Not sure how old you are, but could you speak to her parents, other friends or boyfriend/husband about it?

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