The mental battle is mental at times! :)

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highlightshadow
highlightshadow Posts: 116 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been on the straight and narrow and doing well now since 1/1/17!

I've lost 2 stone in those 2 and a bit months which is a tremendous achievement and i'm proud of that.
But still you face inner-demons wanting to trip you up.

Last night I had a down moment and ended up 'sneaking' some biscuits ... luckily i was sufficiently under my target anyway that its a no-harm done.... maybe i need to plan-in treat days etc ... but i wanted to stop going down that path of needing treats all the time as i feel that's how it ends up being a slippery slope.

I don't want to lose focus or momentum but despite great success so far i still have moments of wanting self-sabotage.... its like some kind of crazy illness.

Just wanted to vent .... anyone else have coping mechanisms?

Prior to last night i'd not done that .... i'd talked to myself enough .... but its like old ways are a wolf behind the door constantly trying to get in ..... its mentally exhausting!

Replies

  • StealthHealth
    StealthHealth Posts: 2,417 Member
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    Congratulations on the excellent progress so far.

    With respect to late night snacking, my tactic has always been to plan those in. Chocolate and cake are my treats and I like to have them just before bed, so I plan them in ensuring that I can still hit my target for the day.

    If I mess up earlier in the day, the late night snack goes, but if I stay on plan I get to eat them.

    During my weight loss phases (I have some planned periods in surplus and at maintenance) I still manage to eat cake and chocolate on a nearly daily basis.
  • wndlady
    wndlady Posts: 70 Member
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    Great job.

    I don't see a problem with a treat as long as you have the calories for it. But you can research lower calorie treats or you can also look for non-food treats like hobbies or even exercise :). Exercise can be a treat after a stressful day.
  • highlightshadow
    highlightshadow Posts: 116 Member
    edited March 2017
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    It's not that i don't have the calories for it .... but i know i REALLY struggle to moderate 'evil' foods like cookies/ice-cream/chocolate.... if i have some i get the 'taste' for it again and struggle to stop.

    I just am tired of these feelings of wanting to self-sabotage .... i won't (i can't) let it stop me but i wish i could make the feelings go away sometimes... they deplete a lot of mental energy and i'm struggling on that front as it is.

    I know i struggle terrifically with moderation .... for 2 months i didn't have any sweets/chocolate/biscuits at all ... but i feel it slipping ... they've started to come back and it genuinely scares me
  • StealthHealth
    StealthHealth Posts: 2,417 Member
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    You will never be "healed" from the concept of trigger foods until you can eat those foods without it triggering binges or over consumption. Sooner or later you will have to either learn to eat them in moderation or learn to live without them forever.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    join the club. I have to have some cake or brownies, ice cream, those evil foods you call it at least once a month. I cant deprive myself but I don't do it daily.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    Not having anything you consider 'treats' for 2 months is not moderation, it's denial. Seeing foods as 'evil' or 'good' makes it hard to remain positive about your progress. When you put yourself down for eating a food that you consider 'evil' the cycle perpetuates.

    Food is fuel, you need it to live. The fuel you put into your engine will determine how it performs but ANY fuel will run the engine. If you want to have a treat then plan it into your day and if you have the calories then by all means go for it. If you wish to eat less of your trigger foods for whatever reason then find alternatives and start substituting but do not under eat or you will just crave more 'evil food' and never develop the relationship that you will need to be successful long term.

    The trick is to change your body's preference for certain foods by giving it something else that will satisfy the craving not deny the cravings completely.
  • marie9910
    marie9910 Posts: 34 Member
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    For me, the less sugar I eat the less I want. But I still always want some haha so I try to limit it to once a week. In the meantime I watch or read a lot of anti-sugar documentaries and articles. It's WAY easier to avoid when the health effects are very present in my mind. You can do it!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    What works (mostly) for me is having "treats", desserts, sweets, etc. every day so I don't feel deprived. Other thing that helps is I have scheduled IDGAF days where I go all out, but I weigh and log it.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
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    You are human! I have those feelings too. Some things I do if I have a craving and don't want to give in - watch fitness YouTube videos, go to the gym, clean the house, drink water, eat a piece of fruit or veggies, watch a horror movie, etc...
    Splurge Meal (I don't like the word "cheat")
    I know this doesn't work for everyone because 1. they get on a "slippery slope" as you call it and give in too much or 2. they want to lose a ton of weight at a fast pace (like it's a race) - BUT - I allow myself 1 "splurge" meal a week. I found that this helps me stay on track during the week. I want to sustain this lifestyle and eating "clean" everyday all year is not something I will be able to do without giving in and pigging out.
    My splurge meal has become an event that my bf and I actually plan each weekend and go out and make it our date night.

    Hang in there - sounds as if you are doing wonderful
  • highlightshadow
    highlightshadow Posts: 116 Member
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    We do have treat meals... we have a chinese take-out or something ....

    And denial is a thing ... i struggle with moderation ... so tried denial .... but now having the stuff i try to avoid is just becoming a little too regular a thing again and feeling like i'm hiding it and i do NOT want it to become regular again because when it becomes normal it doesn't stay normal.

    I have enough of a hellish relationship with food as it is (long story) and because of this 10 year 'enemy' i've made of food i decided that a change in tack was needed this time in order to get to a better place in order to unlock the ability to have some surgery and then slowly re-learn to have food.

    My issue is that i cannot eat many food types .... worst still on a given day i won't know whether i can or can't ... so sometimes i'll sit down to eat a meal i've spent ages cooking and fall foul straight away and end up having to bin it .... THAT's why i turned to biscuits and chocolate in an attempt to take the pain away (mental and physical) .... i got defeated thoroughly this past year .... but i cannot afford the surgery private and my GP doesn't "get it" with regards to my daily struggle and just makes flip suggestions.... so i'm trying to get to a weight by getting 75% of my daily allowance from 'non food' things like meal replacement (and yeah i know how ppl react to that but i don't have a choice here) .... my GP has just said that they'll consider next-steps maybe in a year when weight is more normal ... but that ain't really filling me with encouragement either

    So yeah .... 'treats' for me became the norm .... became the enemy and if i fail this again it'll just about finish me off
    I'm battle scarred and weary .... i just don't want this to fail

    Venting here now i know
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    Throw out the biscuits and other food that triggers overeating. I choose not to keep such stuff in the house. If others in the house need such food, keep it on a separate shelf or cupboard away from your healthy preferred foods.
  • hypodonthaveme
    hypodonthaveme Posts: 215 Member
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    You are so right, the mind really gets in the way some days. If you don't go over calories then just add it to your day.

    My only suggestion is stop calling it a treat. Save that word for a true treat. Say you want to go to the ice cream shop next week for a cone or sundae. Plan ahead calculate calories and enjoy your treat. Treats are not daily living calories. Treat a treat as a treat. When you separate the 2 you will feel better mentally.

    In your case, you had extra calories and you ate more .Good for you for saving calories for the end of the day. Sounds like you did some great planning. You are showing some very awesome knowledge and that will be what treats you with success. Congratulations.
  • wesheets
    wesheets Posts: 90 Member
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    I understand the dilemma. If you like chocolate why not have 2 pieces after lunch and dinner? Or, if sweet bread is a thing include it with tea time? If you have calories before bed then you have an opportunity to burn some off before you sleep. Also drink water! It'll fill you up and hurt to eat!
  • christys03
    christys03 Posts: 22,784 Member
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    I agree with all the previous posts....allow yourself what you want in moderation. Then it's not a treat, or cheat....it's very mental....get smaller prepackaged things. This helps with portion control. I have a fiber one oatmeal cookie, every nite. Prepackaged, and counted in my calories- its sweet & soft & curbs that need for a sweet.

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