confused

ChantalD75
ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
edited September 30 in Health and Weight Loss
I have lost 25lbs with MFP. But I feel off that wagon back in May. Since then gained some of that back. I am confused my I can't jump back on that wagon. I have my dad every chance he gets to point out that I am fat. You know just in case I forgot. He does this with an audience... he thinks he is funny. When I did loose the 60lbs the first time my dad never said boo about it... then I gained the 50lbs back... My son this morning told me that my capris were too tight. So I changed. Why can't I use this to get mad and get back on the healthy wagon and just do it. I get home from work I cook my boys diner and all I want to do after that is lay around and do the least possible. I lack the modivation, the energy. I have recently started weening myself off my anti depressants. Which makes me dizzy and light headed and tired. I have also cut out the caffeine and the artifical sugar (I used this alot). Still not an excuse. But I bet you I can write a book of 101 excuse NOT to work out. When I was in my weight loss zone I had no issues I didn't think about it I just got home from work put my workout clothes on and just had me time. I was in a zone. It's really had to find that zone again. My partner had mentioned a few weeks ago that he has noticed a change in me I am more grouchy, more lazy. Now why can't I use all of this get mad and get back into that zone??!! I gave away all my bigger clothes I swore I will never wear that again. But now my clothes are getting tight again. I am so frustrated and disgusted with myself.

Thanks for reading and listening...

Replies

  • MsRoxyPepper
    MsRoxyPepper Posts: 109 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. everyone goes through up/downs with motivation. I have been on MFP for a few months now, but only to keep losing/gaining the same few lbs. I finally decided to fake it til I make it. I have to stop worrying about what I did wrong "yesterday" and focus on making good choices today. its all one day at a time. Keep your head up and stay in the fight. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
  • bean177
    bean177 Posts: 75
    so sad, you KNOW that the problem is your Dad right, NOT you?! My sister struggles with the same thing and it's affected her all her life - don't let anyone steal your happiness!!!!!!!!!! You have to start somewhere, sometime, start here, now. Friend me, we are the best support and cheerleaders EVER!

    p.s. I have taken something for the depression for years and always will - part of my chemistry is out of whack and ITS OK to fix it!!!!! :happy:
  • skymichele
    skymichele Posts: 19 Member
    One day at a time sweetheart. One day at a time. :) Keep your head up.
  • tkirkes
    tkirkes Posts: 121
    Its really hard to get in the mode but you definitely have to decide that you want to do this! Its crazy my husband may say in a nice way that I really need to start trying to lose weight, or someone may mention that I'm gaining again and it angers me but instead of trying to lose the weight I end up eating more. Yea. So anyways I'm believe I am back in my mode were I want to do this for myself and no one else and I'm just hoping that I gain the encouragement here to take care of business and lose the weight that I need too! Anyways I Hope you hope on the wagon soon so you can feel better about yourself and just be happy being you! Have a great day!
  • mghane
    mghane Posts: 109 Member
    No worries.. this happens to everyone. Part of the reason for your lack of motivation and tiredness could be because you're weaning off of the antidepressants. Maybe talk to your doctor about it. Remember that before anyone can love you for the wonderful person you are, you have to learn to love yourself. It's cliche, but true. So take the steps to get there... a little bit of workout a day and hopefully you'll be back in the zone before you know it. Plus exercise is like a natural antidepressant because of the happy hormones it creates... maybe that will help with the grouchiness and tiredness too!
  • azlady7
    azlady7 Posts: 471 Member
    We all go through this. If you can just suck it up and force yourself regardless then it will pass and you will be back in your zone. Each time you face this and overcome it, it gets easier and easier. There is no other advice other than....just do it. You know you want to, you know you need to, so just do it. It sucks, its not enjoyable but you have to. Now go do it! :)
  • futbolkt21
    futbolkt21 Posts: 57
    What she said!

    It feels like a never ending battle--trust me, I know! I recently jsut got myself "back on the wagon" and I'm holding on tight so I don't fall off again. Force yourself to go for a walk today so you can remember how good it feels and then try to get back into some sort of routine. Hang in there, we can do this!
  • StrangerOnTheEarth
    StrangerOnTheEarth Posts: 3
    Fedup,

    It just might be time to tell your dad and your son that this is YOUR body and to lay off. Explain to them how their comments make you feel. My father sounds very similar to yours and I basically just ignore him and/or cut him down with a snappy comeback.

    Having people point out your supposed "flaws" is not going to help you get angry and lose weight. All it will do is make you more depressed and likely to eat. Believe me, I have been there and back. I continue to struggle. People will make you feel bad, but it is up to you to prove to yourself that you are worth every bit of the effort it takes to change. And remember that you are beautiful, inside and out, and it is the ugly people in your life that try to tear you down and bring you to their level. You are better than them, and you can and will feel good about yourself.

    I hope this helps :)
    Anna
  • McFrench
    McFrench Posts: 205 Member
    Hi,
    Are you going off your anti-depressants under the direction of a Dr? I could see that causing some challenges as far as motivation and your moods. (I am a social worker in the mental health field).

    For me, when I am feeling lazy, I have to force myself to just go for a walk...then after a few minutes I start to enjoy it...you get all those feel good endorphins. I have found through MFP, that food and exercise totally affect my mood. I hadn't worked out in a few days, and I was CRABBY. I ate too much sugar, totally made me feel like a slug. Watch this in your food diary, and see if you can find correlations.

    Hang in there! You did this once, you WILL do it again!!!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    I say, start standing up for yourself. When Dad and kid start in, just repeat back to them what they just said, in an incredulous tone, "I thought I heard you say I'm fat?? You didn't really say that, did you?"


    Until you take your power back from the bullies in your life, you will continue to feel bad about yourself. Counseling or journalling will help.
  • jamk1446
    jamk1446 Posts: 5,577 Member
    Not having emotional support from your loved ones can be really demoralizing and demotivating. Be kind to yourself even when others are not. I wouldn't worry about the exercising part just yet. If you aren't fueling your body with the right fuel, you will very likely be physically fatigued and it can affect you emotionally too, in addition to gaining weight. It sounds like this is what is happening to you. Don't worry about what you've done in the past, start again today with making choices that will leave you feeling better. Concentrate on that and the looking better naturally falls into place. Ditch the crap in your diet, center your eating around protein, vegetables and fruit. Even if you don't like to cook there are good (or at least better) choices to be made in restaurants and fast food places than fries and soft drinks. If you start fueling your body with what it wants, you will begin to feel better and have more energy, physically and emotionally. Then finding the right kind of exercise for you that you enjoy won't seem like such a task either. And a simple, "hey, Dad, it hurts my feelings when you make fun of me" may be in order. You don't have to start a fight to let him know how you feel. Good luck to you!:smile:
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
    Hi,
    Are you going off your anti-depressants under the direction of a Dr? I could see that causing some challenges as far as motivation and your moods. (I am a social worker in the mental health field).

    For me, when I am feeling lazy, I have to force myself to just go for a walk...then after a few minutes I start to enjoy it...you get all those feel good endorphins. I have found through MFP, that food and exercise totally affect my mood. I hadn't worked out in a few days, and I was CRABBY. I ate too much sugar, totally made me feel like a slug. Watch this in your food diary, and see if you can find correlations.

    Hang in there! You did this once, you WILL do it again!!!

    Yes I discussed it with my doctor. I am weening off slowly like she wanted me too... I just didn't want to be on them anymore... I got on them when I was going thru my divorce. I don't think I need them anymore... The excercise was helping (when I was doing it!!!) But I will go for a walk tonight take one or 2 of my dogs and see how that goes. Thank you for the support!
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
    If you are not working with your doctor to wean off the anti-depressants call them ASAP. It's very important to wean with a doctor's supervision and can cause major issues otherwise.

    I have several family members on them and I'm a nursing student too so I've been around people who've decided they "didn't need them" and weaned and really screwed themselves up :(
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
    Hi,
    Are you going off your anti-depressants under the direction of a Dr? I could see that causing some challenges as far as motivation and your moods. (I am a social worker in the mental health field).

    For me, when I am feeling lazy, I have to force myself to just go for a walk...then after a few minutes I start to enjoy it...you get all those feel good endorphins. I have found through MFP, that food and exercise totally affect my mood. I hadn't worked out in a few days, and I was CRABBY. I ate too much sugar, totally made me feel like a slug. Watch this in your food diary, and see if you can find correlations.

    Hang in there! You did this once, you WILL do it again!!!

    Yes I discussed it with my doctor. I am weening off slowly like she wanted me too... I just didn't want to be on them anymore... I got on them when I was going thru my divorce. I don't think I need them anymore... The excercise was helping (when I was doing it!!!) But I will go for a walk tonight take one or 2 of my dogs and see how that goes. Thank you for the support!
  • SDH15
    SDH15 Posts: 35
    hmmm...don't focus so much are trying to make yourself "get mad" at certain comments from the people around you. Youll lose weeks wondering why youre not reacting the way you think you should be when your son tells you your capris are getting tight. The fact is, when you work out to be fit, its not for them and it shouldnt be for them. Yes, its a good bonus when you get compliments from the people you care about but Ultimately, its for you. No one can blame you for wanting to rest after cooking meals for the family, i'm sure you have a lot on your plate and its understandable that you are low on energy by the time evening comes around. So first thing you need to realize is that its not unusual that you havent been working out, and its not unusual that you've been tired. But think back to the last time you had lost 50-60 lbs and how great that felt. Don't you want to get back to feeling like that? Like the person above said, YOU ARE WORTH IT! and more importantly, YOU CAN DO IT!. Don't get bogged down that you've put some of those lbs back on you - staying fit is one of the hardest things to do because its such an ongoing battle. Its not all about getting there, Staying there is a challenge on its own. If you've been feeling tired and grouchy lately maybe its time for a change. Jump back on that Wagon! Find a way to make it work with your schedule! You don't need to go 500% right away, start small, 20 minute workouts before bed, staying away from sweets and other junk! You'd be surprised how quickly you'll see change. And I promise you, once you see any change, that will be your motivation right there to keep going!!
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
    If you are not working with your doctor to wean off the anti-depressants call them ASAP. It's very important to wean with a doctor's supervision and can cause major issues otherwise.

    I have several family members on them and I'm a nursing student too so I've been around people who've decided they "didn't need them" and weaned and really screwed themselves up :(

    It's under my doctors advise... it's why it's taking so long to get off of them... she explained how to come off them slowly... if I do it to fast I was getting 'brain zaps'
  • azsuzi
    azsuzi Posts: 1,169 Member
    I find that when I focus on the negative imput I get from others I start feeling like "what's the use". I work really hard to try keep a positive attitude because that's the only way I will stay healthy. If I cave into everyone else's negativity, I lose all of my motivation and stop trying. I actually learned this lesson long ago but have to keep reminding myself.

    A little story: when I was 13, my older sister was always on me about my weight, my posture, my fingernail biting, and on and on and on. I had very low self-esteem. Then she got married and moved out of the house. In less than a year, I had lost 25 pounds without even trying or realizing it was happening. Her negativity had kept me focused on my weight - being free of her nagging, I was no longer focused on the weight and it just fell off.

    You are worth the effort regardless of what you hear from anyone else around you. Getting mad about your weight will not make you lose it. Trying to lose it for someone else will not work. Believing in yourself and making the changes FOR YOURSELF will bring you results. Hang in there and good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
    A lot of people think that if someone always puts them down it should get them motivated to do the opposite but sometimes that is not the case. When I was married my ex used to get on me about being better at cleaning the house but that just made me not want to do it. I do think it is your dad and it is hard to hear all the negativity especially when it is coming from family. You WILL get back on the wagon, I know it and I promise I am here to help you out with WHATEVER you need to get that motivation back. I have had my phases of doing the same but have learned not to beat myself up about it. Look at what you have accomplished. We all have to live life and things come up, we can't be perfect 100% of the time with our weight loss. Allow yourself to feel these feelings and know that you are worth it and you deserve all the happiness in the world. I wish you lots of luck and if you need to vent or talk, pm me!! Lots of hugs and love :-) :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
    I find that when I focus on the negative imput I get from others I start feeling like "what's the use". I work really hard to try keep a positive attitude because that's the only way I will stay healthy. If I cave into everyone else's negativity, I lose all of my motivation and stop trying. I actually learned this lesson long ago but have to keep reminding myself.

    A little story: when I was 13, my older sister was always on me about my weight, my posture, my fingernail biting, and on and on and on. I had very low self-esteem. Then she got married and moved out of the house. In less than a year, I had lost 25 pounds without even trying or realizing it was happening. Her negativity had kept me focused on my weight - being free of her nagging, I was no longer focused on the weight and it just fell off.

    You are worth the effort regardless of what you hear from anyone else around you. Getting mad about your weight will not make you lose it. Trying to lose it for someone else will not work. Believing in yourself and making the changes FOR YOURSELF will bring you results. Hang in there and good luck to you. :flowerforyou:

    Thank you!! My dad is 75 and he has lost his filter a long time ago. We aren't the type of family to give each other compliments. I think that is a big problem. My sister is thin and always has been even tho she had 2 kids. And she is always telling me how to do things and that I shouldn't be doing this or that.... I am going to take everyone's advise and just tune out the negativity and focus on me. It's me time. We only have one life to live. And this isn't the way I want to live it.
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
    Thank you all for your advise!!! I will get back on this wagon and have a different mind set. It's ok to have bad days... :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Glenda1112
    Glenda1112 Posts: 10
    I was there last month where I just lost all motivation and didn't see the point in loosing the weight anymore. I was feeling very low but i just woke up one day and started getting back on track and remembered why I started doing this in the first place for myself because I want to be healthy. What your dads doing is horrible but you know what take the negative and turn it into a positive, your not doing this for him but your doing this for you and your kids so you can be healthy for yourself and for them. Take it one day at a time we all want to wake up and be skinny! but we have to work towards our goal and if were determined we'll get there, and we all have those days were we lack all motivation so your not alone! good luck!
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