Supporting your partner

abassett24
abassett24 Posts: 2 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
Recently I started counting again due to weight gain (again) and my girlfriend has too sort of. She wants to lose weight but continuously seems to struggle with the desire to eat anything she wants. I want to support her in her efforts because I love her and want her to succeed in anything she sets her mind to do. But how do you support your S/O without making them feel like theyre not doing as well as they want to?

I feel like trying to suggest healthier alternatives just makes her feel worse. I really want to support her but im not sure what to do. Any suggestions would be helpful and appreciated.

Replies

  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    Smile and nod.
  • wellthenwhat
    wellthenwhat Posts: 526 Member
    My boyfriend teases me about what I eat all the time. Depending on the day I'll give him stinkface and "you can't tell me what to do!" other times I listen. It's more playful banter than anything else. Yesterday I made brownies and was licking the bowl and stuff, then got a second one after they were done, and he's like "Can you afford that one?" I said "no, but it's worth it." He's like, uh uh, little missy, you put that right back!" It's not an order, just playful, I can just stick my tounge out at him and eat it anyway, other times it gives me the little kick I need. He also tells me on a daily basis that I'm beautiful, sexy, skinny, and so on. I argue and point out where I want to lose, and he's like "no, that's just extra sexiness ;) " He compliments me on every goal I meet, every day I stay under my calories. He also thinks I'm crazy for going out to run at 5:00 every other morning, lol.
  • abassett24
    abassett24 Posts: 2 Member
    edited March 2017
    wellthenwhat wrote: »
    My boyfriend teases me about what I eat all the time. Depending on the day I'll give him stinkface and "you can't tell me what to do!" other times I listen. It's more playful banter than anything else. Yesterday I made brownies and was licking the bowl and stuff, then got a second one after they were done, and he's like "Can you afford that one?" I said "no, but it's worth it." He's like, uh uh, little missy, you put that right back!" It's not an order, just playful, I can just stick my tounge out at him and eat it anyway, other times it gives me the little kick I need. He also tells me on a daily basis that I'm beautiful, sexy, skinny, and so on. I argue and point out where I want to lose, and he's like "no, that's just extra sexiness ;) " He compliments me on every goal I meet, every day I stay under my calories. He also thinks I'm crazy for going out to run at 5:00 every other morning, lol.

    I appreciate the reply; unfortunately my girlfriend is a bit more sensitive on the weight loss topic. Honestly it doesnt matter to me if she loses the weight or not, I love her the same no matter what. She knows that i adore her as i remind her daily, but this topic is rough. I want help but like Chef_Barbell said "smile and nod" feels like all i can do at this point. Its also not so much a brownie too as much as it is potentially eat all her calories in one meal.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,447 Member
    I would want a boyfriends to :
    1. Suggest taking walks around neighborhood to chat together or pull me up to dance around the kitchen
    2. Cook healthy ish and compliment my healthyish cooking
    3. Not buy me my favorite trigger foods (kc masterpiece chips or reese cups I simply have no willpower)
  • sbrandt37
    sbrandt37 Posts: 403 Member
    Ideally, you will be positive about her successes and say nothing about what you perceive to be her failures. However, if you really want to know what will be helpful to her, ask her. Everyone is different and she is the only one who knows what will feel supportive to her.
  • rutzsa
    rutzsa Posts: 52 Member
    I agree with the above^. Ask her how you can best support her. She might want the gentle reminders or for you to say nothing at all. But always let her know that you love her just the way she is....
  • lrb142014
    lrb142014 Posts: 66 Member
    I agree with the previous comments. Other approaches include leading by example. Frequently couples tend to gain/lose weight together... Also, instead you could say you are wanting to make some healthier changes and could use her support but not having _,_,_ in the house. For me and my husband it's chocolate❤... when we are shopping and one of us asks if the other if we would like something and the reply is "nah I'm good" or similar, the other tends to reconsider.
  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
    When I think of supporting someone, I think of encouraging her in and praising her for something she's already doing, not necessarily prompting her to do or avoid doing certain things. I think you'll do best to ask her, as has already been suggested. She may not be ready to do it yet too. Wanting it and being ready are, unfortunately, two very different things.
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