You CAN do this

This past week marked a year and a half since I started my journey. I am 44, almost 45. I was 296 at my highest and am down to 177 and still going. I have lost over 100 lbs since I started, I was 183 when I started this time. I didn't think keeping a food diary and changing things I eat around would work, but it did. I had to do this MY way, not weight watchers way or the zone way or any other program, I had to create a program that worked for just ME. I love love love good seasons salad dressings that you make yourself. I changed how I make it. I use only a couple tablespoons of oil and use half a cup of apple cider vinegar now. so it's only 45 calories per 2 tblspns instead of over 100. I have 1 or 2 tootsie pops as a snack every night. They last for half hour or so while i'm watching tv and makes me thinkg i'm eating more then a lolllipop. I still cook all the same foods for my family that I used to, I just know now how many calories are in them and how much I can have. I have been having some body image issues the last 6 weeks. I was in the hospital overnight for some heart tests, good news my heart is perfect so yay. but when they sent me home, knowing I was losing weight and what I had already lost, I got the "your bmi is obese" packet telling me to cut 500 to 700 calories a day. WTF I only eat 1000 to 1200 a day as it is. I upset me that after all I have done I am still obese. but you know what. I WILL get there. my final goal weight will still put me at "overweight" on that stupid BMI scale but with the excess skin there is no way I will get down to what that scale says I should be and that's OK. My body amazes me every day at what I can do now and I have gone from a tight 3x mens tshirt to a large in mens and womens baggy so the generic scales they use for every person need to not matter so much, but one little part of my head says they do. I will get down to where I am happy and comfortable and I will get my head to understand they don't matter to ME anymore.

Ok I rambled abit. sorry. I just want each of you to know, YOU, yes you reading this CAN do this. just do it YOUR way and take it one day at a time