Goals, Friends, Support!

Hi all,

I've been on MyFitnessPal before but never stuck with calorie tracking for very long in the past. I've also dabbled in Weight Watchers, Paleo, etc. Before and during law school in my mid-twenties I had disordered (binge-ey) eating but stayed at a mostly healthy weight by being a runner. Then the stress eating became more of a norm than an occasional binge. I did CrossFit for awhile and gained some muscle, but it ultimately didn't halt my weight gain. I've yo yo'd from being a size 16 during college down to a 6 when I got married at 23, and up down and down from there but gradually more up than down to where I am today at 207. Most of that piled on over the course of about two years in 2013-2015. I've dabbled in exercise and have a home gym but it's been a long, long time since I made a serious commitment to weight loss, I think because I have not wanted to start and fail again.

This month, my husband took a year-long job in California and we'll be doing long distance with visits for a year. The empty house and total freedom to focus on myself - along with the real risk that I eat to comfort myself when lonely - are my motivation to start for real. I also love the idea of seeing my husband for visits every few weeks and having a noticeable change in my progress each time! I'm working on figuring out my career, dreams for the future, and how I want to live my life over all. And health is a big part of that! My username, FitNovelist, is an aspiration!

Current stats:
Weight: 207, heigh 5'2"
Size: 16W, XXL or 1X (slim cut size 16 dresses don't fit anymore)
Body fat: I was measured many pounds ago and had 117 lb lean mass. If I've kept that lean mass but added fat, my body fat would have to be around 45% right now.
Waist at belly button: 45.5"

Goals:
Weight loss, for health: Under 150 lbs.
Dream Goal: Size 4 dresses and jeans

Fitness goals:
I used to run marathons and do century bike rides. Right now I just want to be able to out and and pound out 5 hilly miles on a brisk run and feel good doing it. That's a great base for any race training goals/dreams in the future. I also enjoy barbell lifting and would like to get back to my deadlift PR of 245 lbs. and improve it to 250.

Interim goals:
I have several size 16 Lilly Pulitzer dresses that fit, as in they fit on my body, but feel way too tight to be flattering. I'd like to feel comfortable in them/have them fit well by the end of April, so that I can enjoy these dresses for spring/summer! Good motivation to work on lifting weights - which tends to help with visible body changes.

I turn 32 on July 19. I'd like to weigh under 164 (43 lb. loss) by then. That's a very big goal (sixteen weeks to do it) but in the past I've tried to set more modest goals and have lost motivation and used it as an excuse to make poor choices - like "I have plenty of time." If I know I've done everything to reach that goal, I'll be fine with wherever I end up. 164=BMI under 30.

Plan:

Right now my daily calories are set on 2,200 total daily calories with no exercise calories added back in. I plan to do cardio 5x a week (three easy to moderate 45 minute sessions, such as a brisk walk, two 20 minute sessions, such as the rower, with a few bursts of speed added in) and do compound lifts (3 sets of 5 reps of squat, press, deadlift, with some lunges and push ups and planks thrown in) three times a week, starting out with pretty light weight and building up. I have a rower, bar bell, rack, bench, and other equipment in a garage gym with a TV wall mount, so really have no excuses!

Meals: I've been eating absolute junk lately, so just aiming for eating more protein, logging food, cooking more, and building fruits and veggies back into my diet. Had oatmeal with banana for breakfast, the other half of the banana on a whole grain sandwich with two tablespoons peanut butter for lunch, planning on fish and veggies, including spinach, with some rice or a sweet potato for dinner. Some string cheese for snacks. There'll be a measured pat of butter on my potato. And probably a measured glass of wine.

I will plan to trim calories and portion sizes down, probably aiming for 1600-1800 for the long haul. But going from binge eating whole pizzas and probably downing 5,000 calories a day, my main goal is consistency and doing something that feels sustainable. Adding in exercise while reducing intake so much I'm starving is a binge type of trigger for me.

I'm a pescatarian (former vegetarian), so my main issue is not relying wholly on dairy for protein and eating enough fish. Pasta is something I overeat most.

I would love friends for the journey, and welcome any wisdom and encouragement!!!!